Birth in the death - ToraxSaga - Ch6/8
Title: Birth in the death
Chapters: 6/8
Author: fallen_am_i
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatural
Warnings:Boylove, mentions of suicide, probability of character death
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15
Pairing: Tora x Saga, some ShouxHiroto
Synopsis: His dream was to fly, to travel freely everywhere he wanted... And that night he was going to do it. If...
Disclaimer: I own the story only...
Coments: A big thank you to xme_chanx for beta reading :3
Chapter 6:
It is always in our way, flowing and flowing, like grains of sand. Passing by when we wake up, while drinking tea or reading a book. Present in many important events, good or bad, laughs and tears. And we never see it. Sometimes we recall it, asking for more or wanting it to pass faster. But we never take real notice of it, until something is about to end.
Time…
Shinji was at the same state, spending as much time as he could with him, Takashi. Ignoring his duty to a level, offering all he could to the boy. Just so that he could see him smile again, growing greedy at that matter, asking for more. More loving grins and stares, those that were melting the ice in his heart in mere moments. More memories to make with him, so that the boy could think of him and only when they would be apart. Yes, he was selfish and he was not afraid to admit it. He wanted Takashi’s attention and heart only for him and he would give anything in return to occupy that. After all, who is not selfish when in love? Every one was and is, that kind of selfishness that you can sacrifice anything you have and are just so that you can obtain what you desire in return. Such a complicated situation… And there Shinji was, accepting what love felt like and doing everything in the name of it.
One week can be a long time for some events, for simple jobs or agreements at work or assignments. But when that week is left to someone to bid farewell at his beloved one, then that week is like mere seconds passing by, not even enough to express honest feelings. He did all he could, making precious moments with the boy, cleaning up the dusted book of his own life and writing in it again, hungry for tastes and feelings he had missed for so long. Making memories he would treasure for ever, not that it really mattered. Because as it was mentioned before, Shinji is a selfish man, his ego being crashed by the idea of him being apart of the boy. Of Takashi not remembering him for eternity… It had been only a day left and despite the years, his wise mind just couldn’t accept the fact of that pretty thing rotting, of that soul dying. It hurt. It hurt so much, giving back the meaning of his very existence. He had planned to do it properly, talk to Takashi about what really was happening and his cursed identity. Explain him everything, hug him, he could even maybe give him a kiss. And then, as the good scythe he is supposed to be, give Takashi the ending he should have, delivering his soul to a better place. He couldn’t though. How could he tell to a mortal that he should be dead, that he lives days that are not his because of Shinji? How could he shatter all that the boy believed some days before his death?... The only way was to wait patiently till the last our and reveal everything then. Both ways would be painful for the brunet, but at least the pain would last less like this. Till Takashi would drink the water of oblivion…
His soul was always aching at that thought. Surely it was more convenient, breaking bonds with the living world, forgetting what was keeping you there, so that no tears of regret or sadness would escape from your eyes. But should the boy go through that trouble too? Why forget him now that both of them felt alive, like having a second chance? It was times like that when the dark-haired reaper wished he had the power to turn time back, so that Takashi would never see him that night. Then he would fall, ending his life and Shinji would still be Tora, simple and blunt, reaping his sould and deliver it in to Death’s embrace. And there would end a fairytale that should never start…
That was just a dream, though, a weak moment at the sound of an ‘if’. What he could only do was to correct what he did the right way, at midnight of the next day. Erasing the gap and living on with the memories and what would remain…
Thoughts weighting like a tone inside his chest, ready to crash everything Shinji had started to accept. Was he that weak always, or was there a most suited word for that feeling devouring his insides? Still, his steps remained proud and calm as his eyes searched carefully for that slender figure standing lazily on a rock, hands cupping his cheek. No matter what the problem was, it was fading to ashes in front of those brown orbs, happiness radiating in them. And in front of that smile that cracked on pink, well-shaped lips, as Takashi stood up to greet him.
“You are late today!”
Shinji chuckled softly, glancing at a pocket watch he had with him. He had delayed just five minutes, but the boy was used to always find him waiting. He was ready to talk, to tease the boy about counting the time when he was not around but something he noticed stopped him from his actions. It was hard to notice in the poor light of the evening but right then, as he was looking at Takashi closely, it was clear. Tire. Black circles that had disappeared since those two had met had returned to stain his pale skin. Thought brightly happy, his eyes seemed heavy and sometimes he looked worried, checking around nervously.
“Are you alright?” Gentle care was dripping from Shinji's words as a finger was raised to touch the circles, just above the boy's cheek. He stopped before he did it though, remembering the effect his hands had over bare flesh, and there were enough scars on that certain skin.
“I am fine...” the boy nodded with a small smile, a little curious with Shinji's sudden stop from caressing him. “I am just a little tired, that's all...”
The reaper never missed a glance that Takashi shot randomly around, though he couldn't question it for the time being. And soon enough his attention was drawn away, as the brunet pulled the sleeve of his long coat, motioning to sit down. Shinji obeyed choosing a large rock, hidden by some bushes. At least they could have some protection from the cold there.
Some small details from every day's routine, a few laughs with funny events and lots of fevered smiles every time their eyes were locked on each other. Some moves closer, so that their sides would touch in comfort, making both of them sink in a wonderful silence, that of fulfillment. Moves so simple and small, yet so important for the two of them. A low breeze made Takashi writhe, breathing in his hands and rubbing them together, making Shinji give his sweetest smile at him.
“Is there any place you want to visit tonight? Somewhere to dine or, just walk?”
That was a new tone in the dark-haired man's voice, one that was revived from the time spent with the boy. Small traits of humanity maybe? Who knew...
“You are strange those days you know! I mean, stranger than before...” Takashi chuckled, looking at the man's wandering face. “All that extra care and attention, not that I mind it, of course!” He smiled in appreciation, leaning a little closer as he examined Shinji carefully. “You always ask me where to go and you never let your voice be heard... Isn't there a place that you want to go for a change?”
A shrug of shoulders was all the answer he got. There was no way to explain his behavior to the boy, that their time together would soon come to an end and that he would break down all the laws of the world to change that, if he could. He was one of the nature's laws though and his state was difficult already. And there was also another thing. He didn't care about the place, as long as Takashi would be there and fill it with his smile. So yes, for Shinji that simple shrug was enough as an answer and it seemed to be enough for the boy too, as he gave a knowing nod and smiled.
“Okay then... Since you give me no answer, there is a place I want to take you to, somewhere simple and silent...”
His voice was trembling as he spoke, sounding unsure as the words were scattered in the air, yet his moves were steady and determined as he stood up, motioning at his car before he started walking away. A part of him was still not sure about that decision though, his heart still worrying about a silent warning and his eyes looking around suspiciously. But he wanted it. He wanted to shut the voice inside him up, the one crying for danger and for something bad that was going to happen. He hated that, especially when he felt like Nao and his omens. So, he did the wisest thing and stopped thinking, driving away the shadows from his mind. It was a lovely night and he wanted it to stay like that, or become even better.
Bold. That's what Takashi was in the reaper's eyes as he moved towards the car. He could notice trails of hesitation and fear as the boy was walking or holding his keys, but he was chasing them away. Looking weak on the surface, yet so strong in reality, Takashi was making the tall dark-haired man look at him all proud and impressed.
“Will you come?”
A teasing tone that woke him up, making his steps long and fast as he was getting closer to him and his beautiful laugh. Right then he knew. He could travel to hell even, if it was for Takashi's sake.
*****
A promise came to the boy's mind as he shifted the key at the door of his small dorm-room. A promise he had made to himself to never bring Shinji in there. He had stepped on it though and he was conscious about it, letting the other man to feel comfortable as he opened the window. He wanted them to able to see the stars from there, to create the atmosphere that existed up there, on the hill. The feint street lights could be easily replaced by candles and by the time he was done, everything was shadowy but warm in a way, just like he wanted it to be.
“So, this is where I wanted to bring you...” Takashi sighed softly as he plopped on the bed, next to the dark-haired man. “Not the luxury of a palace, yet warm in winters and cool on summers, I can't complain!” he chuckled shyly.
By the moment his eyes fell on his guest,the boy knew he was right to bring him there. Shinji was looking around the small place, not really tidy but not dirty either, the posters on the walls showing what kind of movies and music he liked. The reaper walked and ran a finger over his bookcase, full of classic authors and some pieces of fantasy stories and mangas. Takashi's study books were placed on the lower shelf, hidden in the shadows, given the least care and attention of all. And then, there was his treasure placed neatly on a coffee table, on a spot that everyone's eyes would fall easily. A large model plane, the best one, fixed and painted by those long fingers of his, carrying all of the dreams that Takashi couldn't fulfill. Shinji took notice of it instantly, his pale fingertips moving over the metal wings, his lips parting at the cold touch, amazed with the work on it. He knew much about the boy during conversations but this was his chance to also get a taste. A taste of Takashi's life at home, a clear and immediate look at his likes and dislikes, his strengths and weaknesses.
“You dream to fly?” Shinji asked slowly, eyes never leaving the model, as if he was showing some kind of respect.
“I dreamed to...” A smile bitter and words chosen carefully. “But that's an old story..”
Shinji nodded in understanding, his eyes finally leaving the model plane to fall on a small photo frame, stuffed at the end of the table, a perfect place if you wanted to hide something in common view. Four people were posing on it, an average yet, happy looking family. A figure tall and strong looking, the father looked respectable in a way, strict and soft at the same time. Eyes serious looking at the picture and a hand embracing his wife's shoulders in care. The woman was sweet-looking, one of those characters the books usually have, those that are not the main protagonist but they have that power, that aura that shows they can lift any problem on supporting shoulders. A grand smile was shining on her face, accompanied with an experienced stare as her embrace was full from her two children. A little girl with long black hair and shiny, clever eyes, like her father's ones. She was wearing a long pink dress, a little big for her petite frame, the fabric falling on her shoulders in a funny yet adorable way as she was grinning the most astonishing smile, matching her mother's one. And as of the boy... Dark bangs falling in front of his glasses, a little taller from his sister but the same thin as her, or maybe even thinner! Lips pursed shyly as if he was afraid to smile, letting the little girl to take care of the showing off. A stoic nose like his father's and eyes glimmering from their hide-out, he was the simplest, the least impressive from the whole family, yet Shinji could swear. There was something special about him, radiating all over the picture as the reaper's hazel eyes were taking in every small detail from the little boy, who became in the passing of years the man he fell in love with.
“You...” he whispered lowly, feeling weak from connecting Takashi's image from present and past.
“Yes...” Voice colorless and blank, the happiness from Takashi's loving brown eyes being gone in an instant. The reaper could feel that there was a strong connection between the sadness, the photo and that model plane, something that was asured by the way the boy avoided to stare at the old picture in front of them.
“That night, when I first met you...” Shinji began, sewing together the things he knew and following his intuition. “You wanted to fly...”
No answer, just brown eyes falling on the floor and lips being bitten nervously by white teeth. He had hit dead on.
“You were going to achieve your dream, one way or another...” the reaper continued, pursing his lips as a question crossed his smile. A wander he had to deal with every day but he never thought to ask. Never, until then...
“Why... What drove you to fly that night?” hazel eyes were locked in brown orbs.
“I thought you would never ask...” Takashi's voice trembled, betraying the hope he had that he would never have to explain his actions. A bitter smile enlightened his lips as his arms circled protectively around his own body, seeking for safety he didn't have.
“Have you ever seen prisoners, Shinji?” he shot a sad glance at the dark-haired man. “They can talk and think and act, but there's that heavy iron ball, tied at their ankles with unbreakable chains... They can move around, but they'll never run away...” His thin fingers covered the skin on his ankle, forming an imaginary bound. “I am like this too, but the chain is inside me...”
He pointed his heart and closed his eyes in regret, missing the way Shinji moved back close to him from behind.
“I was never alone, but I felt the isolation drowning me. I was in a place I didn't mind, but in circumstances unwanted. I had the wrong beginning and an unsure destination...” Takashi sighed and licked his lips. His eyes remained closed but he could still feel Shinji's comforting presence. Two strong hands resting on his shoulders, in an attempt to unload the weight in his soul. “You know, many times I wished for life to be a game. A game that you can always restart in case something goes wrong, correcting the mistakes you made the last time and learn to never make them again. But unfortunately, life is a bet. A bet that you pay really expensive, if you lose...”
Those strong hands engulfed the boy in a loose embrace, keeping him close, away from his nightmares. Circling around his chest and pressing Takashi against his own, like he was claiming him for everything that was going to come, happiness, hardships, death himself.
“So, you decided to pay that debt with death...” Shinji's inhuman voice sounded close to Takashi's ears in a mere whisper so sad, hurting to do for once what he was destined to.
“It was the easiest solution...” The boy shrugged his shoulders. “I was pressured and caged, death was tempting me with eternal freedom! How could I resist?” He sighed and turned to face the dark-haired man, gasping slightly when he realized how close they were.
“And like that...” he restarted, looking away, “a breezy night some days ago I decided to pay my debt on that cliff, flying and never returning back. And then you came, disturbing me and driving me mad!” he chuckled bitterly. “You were scary and strange, taking away what I wanted the most! You stole away my peace of mind, my boring routine and my thoughts of nothingness and you gave me... a reason to keep betting...”
Takashi stopped, gasping as he felt Shinji's soft breath on his cheek. He was immobilized, afraid to look inside the man's eyes.
“You changed everything too...” The reaper's low voice echoed around like a whisper, raising the hair at the back of the boy's neck. “Because of you I remembered what a mistake means, how is to have feelings... To be human...”
Words confusing, with a hidden meaning that Takashi couldn't get. There was nothing strange for him as the dark-haired man talked again, moving closer.
“I don't want to let you go...”
What? A question that was already forming on the boy's lips, but instead of talking his lips parted in surprise and waiting. Shinji's fingers stopped inches away from that pretty face, afraid of the scars he would cause on the smooth skin. Just one kiss would be enough to cause a lot of pain, but every trail of logic was covered by heavy fog inside the reaper's mind as he approached closer and closer, both of them being lost in the moment. A tiny breath away and their world would fill with colorful, powerful feelings, piercing pain and drops of blood.
Cold. Freezing cold air that blew out all the candles at once. Takashi was still standing with eyes closed, waiting for a kiss that never came. Shinji moved away from him, stressed for the first time since he had met him, looking instantly at a certain direction, his lips trembling in anger.
“What the hell do you want here?”
“Shinji?” Questions were mirrored in the boy's and there was fear hidden in his heart, along with confusion. He wanted to ask what was going on, where his friend was talking to, but he was stopped from a loud bang on the door.
“Takashi are you okay? Takashi!”
Nao.
He couldn't do otherwise but let his neighbor in, jumping back in surprise as a panting Nao marched inside the room, looking around like a mad man
“Spirit! I sensed a broken spirit here and I came to...” two of his fingers climbed to cover his nose, his lungs cutting contact with air for some moments. Something stunk really bad... “What the...” His brown eyes fell on the dark-haired man with the terrifying aura, filling the psychic boy with fear. His feet got numb, plopping on the floor.
“You...” he whispered weakly, finally getting even the simplest detail. “You are at fault for everything!” His index finger was pointed furiously at Shinji, who just watched. “You damned monster, you are rotting his soul!”
“What are you talking about!” Takashi's eyes widened in shock, feeling himself offended at those words, drowned in slight anger and heavy confusion.”What is going on?”
Hazel eyes looked down and pale pink lips were bitten harshly, taking out all the guilt the reaper felt. Hands clenching into fists, their finger sinking in and abusing the skin. Curses overflowed his mind but not his mouth, that it opened only for a big breath. It was time for masks to fall and although it would hurt, it was better than taking Takashi's life the next day without the simplest explanation.
“Hiroto, come out...”
The shining of bright light blinded Takashi for mere seconds and the silver figure of what used to be a boy appeared in a corner, feint and trespassing. And that said figure was feeling uncomfortable, licking dry lips and avoiding the boy's stare.
“I am sorry Tora, but there is only one day left.. Shou is also on his way here...”
“Tora?” It was like a mirror full of lies was breaking inside Takashi's mind as he looked for answers on deep hazel eyes. He looked at the faces around him, known or not, but all of them scary. A spirit, Shinji who was named Tora, his psychic neighbor and one day left. Left for what?...
With slow moves he filled a glass with water and drank the most of it, refilling it and moving back on his bed, to plop there tiredly. He was weak. He looked at all of them again, insisting at Shinji, the biggest liar of them all.
“I am waiting...” he said finally, his hands shaking nervously. “Tell me my story...”
t.b.c.
A/N: So... I surprised myself and I was fast... xD I wanted to post something and soon, it has been a long time, hasn't it? So, here, revelation time... Two more chappies and we come into a closure... It feels strange because I am strongly connected to this story, but I guess everything ends, along the feelings I had when I started writing this... I hope you like it guys! :3 And I hope I won't be lost again >.>
Comments are always apreciated :3
Chapters: 6/8
Author: fallen_am_i
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatural
Warnings:Boylove, mentions of suicide, probability of character death
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15
Pairing: Tora x Saga, some ShouxHiroto
Synopsis: His dream was to fly, to travel freely everywhere he wanted... And that night he was going to do it. If...
Disclaimer: I own the story only...
Coments: A big thank you to xme_chanx for beta reading :3
Chapter 6:
It is always in our way, flowing and flowing, like grains of sand. Passing by when we wake up, while drinking tea or reading a book. Present in many important events, good or bad, laughs and tears. And we never see it. Sometimes we recall it, asking for more or wanting it to pass faster. But we never take real notice of it, until something is about to end.
Time…
Shinji was at the same state, spending as much time as he could with him, Takashi. Ignoring his duty to a level, offering all he could to the boy. Just so that he could see him smile again, growing greedy at that matter, asking for more. More loving grins and stares, those that were melting the ice in his heart in mere moments. More memories to make with him, so that the boy could think of him and only when they would be apart. Yes, he was selfish and he was not afraid to admit it. He wanted Takashi’s attention and heart only for him and he would give anything in return to occupy that. After all, who is not selfish when in love? Every one was and is, that kind of selfishness that you can sacrifice anything you have and are just so that you can obtain what you desire in return. Such a complicated situation… And there Shinji was, accepting what love felt like and doing everything in the name of it.
One week can be a long time for some events, for simple jobs or agreements at work or assignments. But when that week is left to someone to bid farewell at his beloved one, then that week is like mere seconds passing by, not even enough to express honest feelings. He did all he could, making precious moments with the boy, cleaning up the dusted book of his own life and writing in it again, hungry for tastes and feelings he had missed for so long. Making memories he would treasure for ever, not that it really mattered. Because as it was mentioned before, Shinji is a selfish man, his ego being crashed by the idea of him being apart of the boy. Of Takashi not remembering him for eternity… It had been only a day left and despite the years, his wise mind just couldn’t accept the fact of that pretty thing rotting, of that soul dying. It hurt. It hurt so much, giving back the meaning of his very existence. He had planned to do it properly, talk to Takashi about what really was happening and his cursed identity. Explain him everything, hug him, he could even maybe give him a kiss. And then, as the good scythe he is supposed to be, give Takashi the ending he should have, delivering his soul to a better place. He couldn’t though. How could he tell to a mortal that he should be dead, that he lives days that are not his because of Shinji? How could he shatter all that the boy believed some days before his death?... The only way was to wait patiently till the last our and reveal everything then. Both ways would be painful for the brunet, but at least the pain would last less like this. Till Takashi would drink the water of oblivion…
His soul was always aching at that thought. Surely it was more convenient, breaking bonds with the living world, forgetting what was keeping you there, so that no tears of regret or sadness would escape from your eyes. But should the boy go through that trouble too? Why forget him now that both of them felt alive, like having a second chance? It was times like that when the dark-haired reaper wished he had the power to turn time back, so that Takashi would never see him that night. Then he would fall, ending his life and Shinji would still be Tora, simple and blunt, reaping his sould and deliver it in to Death’s embrace. And there would end a fairytale that should never start…
That was just a dream, though, a weak moment at the sound of an ‘if’. What he could only do was to correct what he did the right way, at midnight of the next day. Erasing the gap and living on with the memories and what would remain…
Thoughts weighting like a tone inside his chest, ready to crash everything Shinji had started to accept. Was he that weak always, or was there a most suited word for that feeling devouring his insides? Still, his steps remained proud and calm as his eyes searched carefully for that slender figure standing lazily on a rock, hands cupping his cheek. No matter what the problem was, it was fading to ashes in front of those brown orbs, happiness radiating in them. And in front of that smile that cracked on pink, well-shaped lips, as Takashi stood up to greet him.
“You are late today!”
Shinji chuckled softly, glancing at a pocket watch he had with him. He had delayed just five minutes, but the boy was used to always find him waiting. He was ready to talk, to tease the boy about counting the time when he was not around but something he noticed stopped him from his actions. It was hard to notice in the poor light of the evening but right then, as he was looking at Takashi closely, it was clear. Tire. Black circles that had disappeared since those two had met had returned to stain his pale skin. Thought brightly happy, his eyes seemed heavy and sometimes he looked worried, checking around nervously.
“Are you alright?” Gentle care was dripping from Shinji's words as a finger was raised to touch the circles, just above the boy's cheek. He stopped before he did it though, remembering the effect his hands had over bare flesh, and there were enough scars on that certain skin.
“I am fine...” the boy nodded with a small smile, a little curious with Shinji's sudden stop from caressing him. “I am just a little tired, that's all...”
The reaper never missed a glance that Takashi shot randomly around, though he couldn't question it for the time being. And soon enough his attention was drawn away, as the brunet pulled the sleeve of his long coat, motioning to sit down. Shinji obeyed choosing a large rock, hidden by some bushes. At least they could have some protection from the cold there.
Some small details from every day's routine, a few laughs with funny events and lots of fevered smiles every time their eyes were locked on each other. Some moves closer, so that their sides would touch in comfort, making both of them sink in a wonderful silence, that of fulfillment. Moves so simple and small, yet so important for the two of them. A low breeze made Takashi writhe, breathing in his hands and rubbing them together, making Shinji give his sweetest smile at him.
“Is there any place you want to visit tonight? Somewhere to dine or, just walk?”
That was a new tone in the dark-haired man's voice, one that was revived from the time spent with the boy. Small traits of humanity maybe? Who knew...
“You are strange those days you know! I mean, stranger than before...” Takashi chuckled, looking at the man's wandering face. “All that extra care and attention, not that I mind it, of course!” He smiled in appreciation, leaning a little closer as he examined Shinji carefully. “You always ask me where to go and you never let your voice be heard... Isn't there a place that you want to go for a change?”
A shrug of shoulders was all the answer he got. There was no way to explain his behavior to the boy, that their time together would soon come to an end and that he would break down all the laws of the world to change that, if he could. He was one of the nature's laws though and his state was difficult already. And there was also another thing. He didn't care about the place, as long as Takashi would be there and fill it with his smile. So yes, for Shinji that simple shrug was enough as an answer and it seemed to be enough for the boy too, as he gave a knowing nod and smiled.
“Okay then... Since you give me no answer, there is a place I want to take you to, somewhere simple and silent...”
His voice was trembling as he spoke, sounding unsure as the words were scattered in the air, yet his moves were steady and determined as he stood up, motioning at his car before he started walking away. A part of him was still not sure about that decision though, his heart still worrying about a silent warning and his eyes looking around suspiciously. But he wanted it. He wanted to shut the voice inside him up, the one crying for danger and for something bad that was going to happen. He hated that, especially when he felt like Nao and his omens. So, he did the wisest thing and stopped thinking, driving away the shadows from his mind. It was a lovely night and he wanted it to stay like that, or become even better.
Bold. That's what Takashi was in the reaper's eyes as he moved towards the car. He could notice trails of hesitation and fear as the boy was walking or holding his keys, but he was chasing them away. Looking weak on the surface, yet so strong in reality, Takashi was making the tall dark-haired man look at him all proud and impressed.
“Will you come?”
A teasing tone that woke him up, making his steps long and fast as he was getting closer to him and his beautiful laugh. Right then he knew. He could travel to hell even, if it was for Takashi's sake.
*****
A promise came to the boy's mind as he shifted the key at the door of his small dorm-room. A promise he had made to himself to never bring Shinji in there. He had stepped on it though and he was conscious about it, letting the other man to feel comfortable as he opened the window. He wanted them to able to see the stars from there, to create the atmosphere that existed up there, on the hill. The feint street lights could be easily replaced by candles and by the time he was done, everything was shadowy but warm in a way, just like he wanted it to be.
“So, this is where I wanted to bring you...” Takashi sighed softly as he plopped on the bed, next to the dark-haired man. “Not the luxury of a palace, yet warm in winters and cool on summers, I can't complain!” he chuckled shyly.
By the moment his eyes fell on his guest,the boy knew he was right to bring him there. Shinji was looking around the small place, not really tidy but not dirty either, the posters on the walls showing what kind of movies and music he liked. The reaper walked and ran a finger over his bookcase, full of classic authors and some pieces of fantasy stories and mangas. Takashi's study books were placed on the lower shelf, hidden in the shadows, given the least care and attention of all. And then, there was his treasure placed neatly on a coffee table, on a spot that everyone's eyes would fall easily. A large model plane, the best one, fixed and painted by those long fingers of his, carrying all of the dreams that Takashi couldn't fulfill. Shinji took notice of it instantly, his pale fingertips moving over the metal wings, his lips parting at the cold touch, amazed with the work on it. He knew much about the boy during conversations but this was his chance to also get a taste. A taste of Takashi's life at home, a clear and immediate look at his likes and dislikes, his strengths and weaknesses.
“You dream to fly?” Shinji asked slowly, eyes never leaving the model, as if he was showing some kind of respect.
“I dreamed to...” A smile bitter and words chosen carefully. “But that's an old story..”
Shinji nodded in understanding, his eyes finally leaving the model plane to fall on a small photo frame, stuffed at the end of the table, a perfect place if you wanted to hide something in common view. Four people were posing on it, an average yet, happy looking family. A figure tall and strong looking, the father looked respectable in a way, strict and soft at the same time. Eyes serious looking at the picture and a hand embracing his wife's shoulders in care. The woman was sweet-looking, one of those characters the books usually have, those that are not the main protagonist but they have that power, that aura that shows they can lift any problem on supporting shoulders. A grand smile was shining on her face, accompanied with an experienced stare as her embrace was full from her two children. A little girl with long black hair and shiny, clever eyes, like her father's ones. She was wearing a long pink dress, a little big for her petite frame, the fabric falling on her shoulders in a funny yet adorable way as she was grinning the most astonishing smile, matching her mother's one. And as of the boy... Dark bangs falling in front of his glasses, a little taller from his sister but the same thin as her, or maybe even thinner! Lips pursed shyly as if he was afraid to smile, letting the little girl to take care of the showing off. A stoic nose like his father's and eyes glimmering from their hide-out, he was the simplest, the least impressive from the whole family, yet Shinji could swear. There was something special about him, radiating all over the picture as the reaper's hazel eyes were taking in every small detail from the little boy, who became in the passing of years the man he fell in love with.
“You...” he whispered lowly, feeling weak from connecting Takashi's image from present and past.
“Yes...” Voice colorless and blank, the happiness from Takashi's loving brown eyes being gone in an instant. The reaper could feel that there was a strong connection between the sadness, the photo and that model plane, something that was asured by the way the boy avoided to stare at the old picture in front of them.
“That night, when I first met you...” Shinji began, sewing together the things he knew and following his intuition. “You wanted to fly...”
No answer, just brown eyes falling on the floor and lips being bitten nervously by white teeth. He had hit dead on.
“You were going to achieve your dream, one way or another...” the reaper continued, pursing his lips as a question crossed his smile. A wander he had to deal with every day but he never thought to ask. Never, until then...
“Why... What drove you to fly that night?” hazel eyes were locked in brown orbs.
“I thought you would never ask...” Takashi's voice trembled, betraying the hope he had that he would never have to explain his actions. A bitter smile enlightened his lips as his arms circled protectively around his own body, seeking for safety he didn't have.
“Have you ever seen prisoners, Shinji?” he shot a sad glance at the dark-haired man. “They can talk and think and act, but there's that heavy iron ball, tied at their ankles with unbreakable chains... They can move around, but they'll never run away...” His thin fingers covered the skin on his ankle, forming an imaginary bound. “I am like this too, but the chain is inside me...”
He pointed his heart and closed his eyes in regret, missing the way Shinji moved back close to him from behind.
“I was never alone, but I felt the isolation drowning me. I was in a place I didn't mind, but in circumstances unwanted. I had the wrong beginning and an unsure destination...” Takashi sighed and licked his lips. His eyes remained closed but he could still feel Shinji's comforting presence. Two strong hands resting on his shoulders, in an attempt to unload the weight in his soul. “You know, many times I wished for life to be a game. A game that you can always restart in case something goes wrong, correcting the mistakes you made the last time and learn to never make them again. But unfortunately, life is a bet. A bet that you pay really expensive, if you lose...”
Those strong hands engulfed the boy in a loose embrace, keeping him close, away from his nightmares. Circling around his chest and pressing Takashi against his own, like he was claiming him for everything that was going to come, happiness, hardships, death himself.
“So, you decided to pay that debt with death...” Shinji's inhuman voice sounded close to Takashi's ears in a mere whisper so sad, hurting to do for once what he was destined to.
“It was the easiest solution...” The boy shrugged his shoulders. “I was pressured and caged, death was tempting me with eternal freedom! How could I resist?” He sighed and turned to face the dark-haired man, gasping slightly when he realized how close they were.
“And like that...” he restarted, looking away, “a breezy night some days ago I decided to pay my debt on that cliff, flying and never returning back. And then you came, disturbing me and driving me mad!” he chuckled bitterly. “You were scary and strange, taking away what I wanted the most! You stole away my peace of mind, my boring routine and my thoughts of nothingness and you gave me... a reason to keep betting...”
Takashi stopped, gasping as he felt Shinji's soft breath on his cheek. He was immobilized, afraid to look inside the man's eyes.
“You changed everything too...” The reaper's low voice echoed around like a whisper, raising the hair at the back of the boy's neck. “Because of you I remembered what a mistake means, how is to have feelings... To be human...”
Words confusing, with a hidden meaning that Takashi couldn't get. There was nothing strange for him as the dark-haired man talked again, moving closer.
“I don't want to let you go...”
What? A question that was already forming on the boy's lips, but instead of talking his lips parted in surprise and waiting. Shinji's fingers stopped inches away from that pretty face, afraid of the scars he would cause on the smooth skin. Just one kiss would be enough to cause a lot of pain, but every trail of logic was covered by heavy fog inside the reaper's mind as he approached closer and closer, both of them being lost in the moment. A tiny breath away and their world would fill with colorful, powerful feelings, piercing pain and drops of blood.
Cold. Freezing cold air that blew out all the candles at once. Takashi was still standing with eyes closed, waiting for a kiss that never came. Shinji moved away from him, stressed for the first time since he had met him, looking instantly at a certain direction, his lips trembling in anger.
“What the hell do you want here?”
“Shinji?” Questions were mirrored in the boy's and there was fear hidden in his heart, along with confusion. He wanted to ask what was going on, where his friend was talking to, but he was stopped from a loud bang on the door.
“Takashi are you okay? Takashi!”
Nao.
He couldn't do otherwise but let his neighbor in, jumping back in surprise as a panting Nao marched inside the room, looking around like a mad man
“Spirit! I sensed a broken spirit here and I came to...” two of his fingers climbed to cover his nose, his lungs cutting contact with air for some moments. Something stunk really bad... “What the...” His brown eyes fell on the dark-haired man with the terrifying aura, filling the psychic boy with fear. His feet got numb, plopping on the floor.
“You...” he whispered weakly, finally getting even the simplest detail. “You are at fault for everything!” His index finger was pointed furiously at Shinji, who just watched. “You damned monster, you are rotting his soul!”
“What are you talking about!” Takashi's eyes widened in shock, feeling himself offended at those words, drowned in slight anger and heavy confusion.”What is going on?”
Hazel eyes looked down and pale pink lips were bitten harshly, taking out all the guilt the reaper felt. Hands clenching into fists, their finger sinking in and abusing the skin. Curses overflowed his mind but not his mouth, that it opened only for a big breath. It was time for masks to fall and although it would hurt, it was better than taking Takashi's life the next day without the simplest explanation.
“Hiroto, come out...”
The shining of bright light blinded Takashi for mere seconds and the silver figure of what used to be a boy appeared in a corner, feint and trespassing. And that said figure was feeling uncomfortable, licking dry lips and avoiding the boy's stare.
“I am sorry Tora, but there is only one day left.. Shou is also on his way here...”
“Tora?” It was like a mirror full of lies was breaking inside Takashi's mind as he looked for answers on deep hazel eyes. He looked at the faces around him, known or not, but all of them scary. A spirit, Shinji who was named Tora, his psychic neighbor and one day left. Left for what?...
With slow moves he filled a glass with water and drank the most of it, refilling it and moving back on his bed, to plop there tiredly. He was weak. He looked at all of them again, insisting at Shinji, the biggest liar of them all.
“I am waiting...” he said finally, his hands shaking nervously. “Tell me my story...”
t.b.c.
A/N: So... I surprised myself and I was fast... xD I wanted to post something and soon, it has been a long time, hasn't it? So, here, revelation time... Two more chappies and we come into a closure... It feels strange because I am strongly connected to this story, but I guess everything ends, along the feelings I had when I started writing this... I hope you like it guys! :3 And I hope I won't be lost again >.>
Comments are always apreciated :3