poem time

[faliurebydesign]

She sits so high above me

Comments

[davarro]

I personally try to avoid passive voice as much as possible when I write, but I think it sounds pretty good. Nice rhyming though, sometimes when people rhyme the words they use just don't compliment each other well.
But from what I got you see love as a constant struggle. Or at least in this poem. What's the title?

[faliurebydesign]

yeah, yeah passive voice was neccessary to keep the rythym and rhyming and stuff. well, im still thinking about the title, but im probably gonna go with "my beautiful foe". heh, yeah.

[davarro]

Yes, passive voice is necessary at times, but I still think it sounds better if you can avoid it.

[pinkerton_girl]

I like it a lot! Maybe I'll post one of mine or something and you can give me a compliment. mwuahaha.

[momentarymaniac]

I was stumbling around and I happened across your journal. Just wanted to say that I love the poem.

:-)

[faliurebydesign]

hey, thanks for the comment, and thanks for liking the poem, its very special to me. mind if i add you?

Re:

[momentarymaniac]

Nope, go ahead. I'll add you back. :-)