Rage at the Moon 13/?
Title: Rage at the Moon 13/?
Series: TDS, Countdown w/ KO.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, Violence
Disclaimer: I do not own Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, or any known political figures who appear in this story.
Summary: AU. Most people believe that the creatures werewolves and vampires only exist in myths and legends. But, they’re very much real, and in the city of New York. A chance of accident leaves one comedian in the middle of the eternal werewolf/vampire conflict.
Author's Note: Please comment. Feedback is good.
One / Two / Three / Four / Five / Six / Seven / Eight / Nine / Ten / Eleven / Twelve
Chapter 13
“You want to know what I think?” Stephen said a few days after Jon’s second full moon.
“Not really. But, when has that ever stopped you?” Jon teased.
“Smartass. Anyway, I think you’ve got a crush on a certain MSNBC pundit.”
“’Crush’? Are we in middle school? And, to answer, I do not.”
“You do, and you know it.”
Jon shrugged. “Since you’re so smart, how do you figure that?”
“You never miss Keith’s show, and you stare at the tv like you’re really concentrating on watching his every move. And, you hang out with him a lot.”
“I hang out with you a lot, too,” Jon pointed out. “Besides, Rachel and Dan are usually with us. Also, I watch Rachel’s show too.”
Stephen raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You have no interest in football. And yet, you make sure you don’t miss ‘Football Night in America.’ That has to do something with Keith.”
“And Dan,” Jon amended.
“And Dan? You like them both? Have we got a love triangle going on? No, wait, Rachel Maddow is in this thing too. We’ve got ourselves a love square.”
Jon rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help to laugh. “No, it’s nothing at all like that. We’re all just friends. At least, I think those three are just friends.”
“You totally know they’re doing some ‘extra-curricular’ activity.”
Jon’s laughter turned to giggling. “Where exactly are you going with this?”
“They’re all single, right? And they live together.”
“You haven’t really thought this through. We’re both single, and we live together. Unless we’re having sex while we’re sleeping somehow…”
“Alright, you’ve got me there. Damn you and your logic. So, what were you guys up to Sunday night to Monday night?”
“Just hanging out with them.”
“Uh-huh. Just hanging out? Don’t they work on Mondays? Not to mention the fact that you were extremely tired the day after.”
This was going in a direction Jon didn’t like. He tackled Stephen down to the couch. He kept his tone light as he inquired, “What are you insinuating?”
Stephen smirked. “I’m not insinuating a damn thing, sir.”
Jon fell backwards onto his butt when Stephen hooked his legs behind Jon’s knees and pushed. Jon said, “Oh, you want to go? Let’s do this.”
Stephen got off the couch and wrestled Jon to the floor. His fingers found a ticklish spot, which reduced Jon to giggles.
“Fuck you,” Jon gasped between laughs.
“Love you, too, Jon.”
<><><><><><><><>
Keith settled in his bed with Richard Wolffe’s new book. He had only gotten past the first page when his mattress was suddenly tipped over. “Bastard,” he swore as he sat up on the floor.
“Make that two,” Rachel amended as she and Dan set the mattress back down on the bedframe and stretched out on the sheets.
Keith placed the book on the bedside table and got up to his knees. “What’s wrong with your beds that you feel the need to steal mine?”
“Dan shed on mine,” Rachel accused.
“Did not. That’s your fur on there.”
“I don’t have any grey hair or fur. There’s grey on those hairs.”
Dan looked at the back of Rachel’s head for a short moment. Then he quickly yanked out a hair.
“Ow. What-?”
Dan held the hair in front of Rachel’s face. “Found one.”
“I would’ve preferred to keep that one, thank you very much. Besides, there’s more than one on my bed.” Rachel sighed and turned her attention back to Keith. “Anyway, we didn’t come to steal your bed.”
“Then, what’s with the mattress-tipping?”
“Intervention attention-getter,” answered Dan.
“Intervention?”
“Rachel has brought to my attention-“
“That she thinks I am love-sick for Jon,” Keith finished for Dan. “’Thinks’ being the key word. I am not love-sick for anyone, especially Jon.”
Rachel observed, “You’ve been doing a lot more reading since Jon joined us.”
“So?”
“Can it mean that you’re trying to keep your mind off of him when he’s not here?”
Keith rolled his eyes. “You guys are insufferable.”
Dan grinned. “Then, what was the snuggling about this past moon? Rachel and I found you two all cute and cuddly in the flatbed of Rachel’s truck.”
“We were asleep, until you woke me up. Other than that, no comment.”
“Alright. Looks like we’ll have to be a little more creative in getting you to admit it,” Rachel said.
“Try all you like. Now, if you’ll get out of my bed, I’d like to start reading Richard’s book.” He climbed back into his bed and pushed Rachel over to make space for himself.
Rachel cuddled up at Keith’s side and looked up at him with her best puppy look.
“Oh, so now you want to be all cute,” was Keith’s response. “What?”
“I just want to read with you.”
“Fine. Dan, don’t try the puppy face.”
“Aw, why not?”
“Because yours isn’t as cute as hers.”
Rachel flicked her tongue out at Dan, then turned back into Keith as he opened the book.
**********
Jon waited for the subway to get home after a stand-up gig. He looked up from the ground as the scent Keith had warned him about wafted through the air.
He didn’t want to have a vampire confrontation on his own. He pulled his hood over his head and kept his eyes cast down to appear less noticeable. Then he remembered that vampires also had a good sense of smell, too.
Jon stood and decided to leave. He would come back for the next train. He made it to the stairs leading up to the streets when a familiar face seemed to appear out of nowhere in front of him.
“Hello, little wolf,” Tucker Carlson greeted.
Jon tried to side-step Tucker and make a run for it, but the vampire quickly pinned him against the wall with a forearm pressed lightly on his throat.
“What’s the hurry? I just want to have a nice chat.”
“Well, I don’t. I want to go home. So, if you’ll-“ Jon was cut off by the forearm digging deeper into his neck.
“How was your second moon?”
“Fuck off and leave me alone.”
“No need to be rude, little wolf. I just asked you how your night was.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“What? ‘Little wolf?’ It’s what you are. Besides, you don’t look like much. Your wolf form probably wouldn’t be too much of a chal-“
Jon attempted to lunge forward and throw Tucker off guard. The vampire was ready and aimed a short and powerful punch to Jon’s stomach.
Jon almost transformed right there, but he remembered where he was.
Tucker flattened his hand against Jon’s abdomen. “I can see you trying to hold it in.”
Jon couldn’t move. Tucker’s forearm was pressing to tightly against his throat, and his body was blocking him from doing much. Whimpers came from his mouth as he felt Tucker’s nails lengthen into sharp claws. They went through his shirt and punctured his skin.
“It hurts, doesn’t it,” Tucker gloated, baring his lengthened fangs.
Jon’s body was trembling not only from the pain, but also from the internal pressure to change. He was being threatened and hurt, with no way to get out of it without transforming. None of the other people in the station seemed to want to get involved, so he was on his own.
“Come on, wolf. What are you going to do about this?”
Jon kept his mouth shut. He was afraid that if he opened it, he would lose all control, and change in front of everyone.
“Come on. Do it. Show these people the animal you really are.”
Jon urgently shook his head. He didn’t want to be arrested and put on that list. But, he could feel himself losing his ground. He couldn’t hold it in for much longer.
“Let it out. Let your real nature-“
A fist to the vampire’s cheek finally shut him up and made him let go of Jon. Jon slid down the wall, breathing heavily through his nose, eyes squeezed shut, and lips pressed tightly together. His body still wanted to change, and hadn’t stopped shaking.
Tucker seemed to give up on fighting when Dan seized the collar of his shirt and yanked him close enough to say in his ear, “How cowardly of you to corner him in a public place. We warned you about hurting him. Don’t make us come after you.”
Dan held the vampire back at arm’s length. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”
Tucker took a few seconds to try to stare Dan down, then quickly turned and ran.
Dan kneeled at Jon’s side. “Jon? You okay?”
“Can’t hold it in,” answered Jon’s strained voice.
Dan helped Jon to his feet and helped support him on the way to the closest restroom, which was thankfully at the other end of the station platform.
Dan helped Jon out of his backpack before lightly pushing him into a stall and closing the door behind him.
Dan was appreciative of the fact that transforming was a relatively quiet process. There was no sounds of the bones shifting and rearranging. He knew Jon was in wolf form by the clicking of claws on the tile floor. There were a few low whines, then quiet again as Jon changed back.
“Dan?” inquired Jon’s voice after a moment.
“Yes? Are you alright?”
“Yeah. Can you hand me my clothes out of my bag?”
Dan reached over the door to give Jon his spare clothes. Jon came out fully dressed and went over to the sink to splash his face with cold water.
Dan stuffed the shredded remains of Jon’s old clothes into the backpack.
“That was really close, Dan. A little too close for my comfort.”
“Too close for mine, too. That’s one advantage they have over us. They can grow out their fangs and nails and be completely inconspicuous in public. It’s all or nothing for us.”
“Thanks for helping me out. I really didn’t know what to do, and couldn’t hold it in much longer.”
Dan wrapped his arms around Jon’s waist from behind. “You’re family, Jon. Part of the pack. We protect each other.” He brushed his cheek against Jon’s in a wolfish display of affection. ‘Now, how about we get you home?”
Series: TDS, Countdown w/ KO.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, Violence
Disclaimer: I do not own Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, or any known political figures who appear in this story.
Summary: AU. Most people believe that the creatures werewolves and vampires only exist in myths and legends. But, they’re very much real, and in the city of New York. A chance of accident leaves one comedian in the middle of the eternal werewolf/vampire conflict.
Author's Note: Please comment. Feedback is good.
One / Two / Three / Four / Five / Six / Seven / Eight / Nine / Ten / Eleven / Twelve
Chapter 13
“You want to know what I think?” Stephen said a few days after Jon’s second full moon.
“Not really. But, when has that ever stopped you?” Jon teased.
“Smartass. Anyway, I think you’ve got a crush on a certain MSNBC pundit.”
“’Crush’? Are we in middle school? And, to answer, I do not.”
“You do, and you know it.”
Jon shrugged. “Since you’re so smart, how do you figure that?”
“You never miss Keith’s show, and you stare at the tv like you’re really concentrating on watching his every move. And, you hang out with him a lot.”
“I hang out with you a lot, too,” Jon pointed out. “Besides, Rachel and Dan are usually with us. Also, I watch Rachel’s show too.”
Stephen raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You have no interest in football. And yet, you make sure you don’t miss ‘Football Night in America.’ That has to do something with Keith.”
“And Dan,” Jon amended.
“And Dan? You like them both? Have we got a love triangle going on? No, wait, Rachel Maddow is in this thing too. We’ve got ourselves a love square.”
Jon rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help to laugh. “No, it’s nothing at all like that. We’re all just friends. At least, I think those three are just friends.”
“You totally know they’re doing some ‘extra-curricular’ activity.”
Jon’s laughter turned to giggling. “Where exactly are you going with this?”
“They’re all single, right? And they live together.”
“You haven’t really thought this through. We’re both single, and we live together. Unless we’re having sex while we’re sleeping somehow…”
“Alright, you’ve got me there. Damn you and your logic. So, what were you guys up to Sunday night to Monday night?”
“Just hanging out with them.”
“Uh-huh. Just hanging out? Don’t they work on Mondays? Not to mention the fact that you were extremely tired the day after.”
This was going in a direction Jon didn’t like. He tackled Stephen down to the couch. He kept his tone light as he inquired, “What are you insinuating?”
Stephen smirked. “I’m not insinuating a damn thing, sir.”
Jon fell backwards onto his butt when Stephen hooked his legs behind Jon’s knees and pushed. Jon said, “Oh, you want to go? Let’s do this.”
Stephen got off the couch and wrestled Jon to the floor. His fingers found a ticklish spot, which reduced Jon to giggles.
“Fuck you,” Jon gasped between laughs.
“Love you, too, Jon.”
<><><><><><><><>
Keith settled in his bed with Richard Wolffe’s new book. He had only gotten past the first page when his mattress was suddenly tipped over. “Bastard,” he swore as he sat up on the floor.
“Make that two,” Rachel amended as she and Dan set the mattress back down on the bedframe and stretched out on the sheets.
Keith placed the book on the bedside table and got up to his knees. “What’s wrong with your beds that you feel the need to steal mine?”
“Dan shed on mine,” Rachel accused.
“Did not. That’s your fur on there.”
“I don’t have any grey hair or fur. There’s grey on those hairs.”
Dan looked at the back of Rachel’s head for a short moment. Then he quickly yanked out a hair.
“Ow. What-?”
Dan held the hair in front of Rachel’s face. “Found one.”
“I would’ve preferred to keep that one, thank you very much. Besides, there’s more than one on my bed.” Rachel sighed and turned her attention back to Keith. “Anyway, we didn’t come to steal your bed.”
“Then, what’s with the mattress-tipping?”
“Intervention attention-getter,” answered Dan.
“Intervention?”
“Rachel has brought to my attention-“
“That she thinks I am love-sick for Jon,” Keith finished for Dan. “’Thinks’ being the key word. I am not love-sick for anyone, especially Jon.”
Rachel observed, “You’ve been doing a lot more reading since Jon joined us.”
“So?”
“Can it mean that you’re trying to keep your mind off of him when he’s not here?”
Keith rolled his eyes. “You guys are insufferable.”
Dan grinned. “Then, what was the snuggling about this past moon? Rachel and I found you two all cute and cuddly in the flatbed of Rachel’s truck.”
“We were asleep, until you woke me up. Other than that, no comment.”
“Alright. Looks like we’ll have to be a little more creative in getting you to admit it,” Rachel said.
“Try all you like. Now, if you’ll get out of my bed, I’d like to start reading Richard’s book.” He climbed back into his bed and pushed Rachel over to make space for himself.
Rachel cuddled up at Keith’s side and looked up at him with her best puppy look.
“Oh, so now you want to be all cute,” was Keith’s response. “What?”
“I just want to read with you.”
“Fine. Dan, don’t try the puppy face.”
“Aw, why not?”
“Because yours isn’t as cute as hers.”
Rachel flicked her tongue out at Dan, then turned back into Keith as he opened the book.
**********
Jon waited for the subway to get home after a stand-up gig. He looked up from the ground as the scent Keith had warned him about wafted through the air.
He didn’t want to have a vampire confrontation on his own. He pulled his hood over his head and kept his eyes cast down to appear less noticeable. Then he remembered that vampires also had a good sense of smell, too.
Jon stood and decided to leave. He would come back for the next train. He made it to the stairs leading up to the streets when a familiar face seemed to appear out of nowhere in front of him.
“Hello, little wolf,” Tucker Carlson greeted.
Jon tried to side-step Tucker and make a run for it, but the vampire quickly pinned him against the wall with a forearm pressed lightly on his throat.
“What’s the hurry? I just want to have a nice chat.”
“Well, I don’t. I want to go home. So, if you’ll-“ Jon was cut off by the forearm digging deeper into his neck.
“How was your second moon?”
“Fuck off and leave me alone.”
“No need to be rude, little wolf. I just asked you how your night was.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“What? ‘Little wolf?’ It’s what you are. Besides, you don’t look like much. Your wolf form probably wouldn’t be too much of a chal-“
Jon attempted to lunge forward and throw Tucker off guard. The vampire was ready and aimed a short and powerful punch to Jon’s stomach.
Jon almost transformed right there, but he remembered where he was.
Tucker flattened his hand against Jon’s abdomen. “I can see you trying to hold it in.”
Jon couldn’t move. Tucker’s forearm was pressing to tightly against his throat, and his body was blocking him from doing much. Whimpers came from his mouth as he felt Tucker’s nails lengthen into sharp claws. They went through his shirt and punctured his skin.
“It hurts, doesn’t it,” Tucker gloated, baring his lengthened fangs.
Jon’s body was trembling not only from the pain, but also from the internal pressure to change. He was being threatened and hurt, with no way to get out of it without transforming. None of the other people in the station seemed to want to get involved, so he was on his own.
“Come on, wolf. What are you going to do about this?”
Jon kept his mouth shut. He was afraid that if he opened it, he would lose all control, and change in front of everyone.
“Come on. Do it. Show these people the animal you really are.”
Jon urgently shook his head. He didn’t want to be arrested and put on that list. But, he could feel himself losing his ground. He couldn’t hold it in for much longer.
“Let it out. Let your real nature-“
A fist to the vampire’s cheek finally shut him up and made him let go of Jon. Jon slid down the wall, breathing heavily through his nose, eyes squeezed shut, and lips pressed tightly together. His body still wanted to change, and hadn’t stopped shaking.
Tucker seemed to give up on fighting when Dan seized the collar of his shirt and yanked him close enough to say in his ear, “How cowardly of you to corner him in a public place. We warned you about hurting him. Don’t make us come after you.”
Dan held the vampire back at arm’s length. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”
Tucker took a few seconds to try to stare Dan down, then quickly turned and ran.
Dan kneeled at Jon’s side. “Jon? You okay?”
“Can’t hold it in,” answered Jon’s strained voice.
Dan helped Jon to his feet and helped support him on the way to the closest restroom, which was thankfully at the other end of the station platform.
Dan helped Jon out of his backpack before lightly pushing him into a stall and closing the door behind him.
Dan was appreciative of the fact that transforming was a relatively quiet process. There was no sounds of the bones shifting and rearranging. He knew Jon was in wolf form by the clicking of claws on the tile floor. There were a few low whines, then quiet again as Jon changed back.
“Dan?” inquired Jon’s voice after a moment.
“Yes? Are you alright?”
“Yeah. Can you hand me my clothes out of my bag?”
Dan reached over the door to give Jon his spare clothes. Jon came out fully dressed and went over to the sink to splash his face with cold water.
Dan stuffed the shredded remains of Jon’s old clothes into the backpack.
“That was really close, Dan. A little too close for my comfort.”
“Too close for mine, too. That’s one advantage they have over us. They can grow out their fangs and nails and be completely inconspicuous in public. It’s all or nothing for us.”
“Thanks for helping me out. I really didn’t know what to do, and couldn’t hold it in much longer.”
Dan wrapped his arms around Jon’s waist from behind. “You’re family, Jon. Part of the pack. We protect each other.” He brushed his cheek against Jon’s in a wolfish display of affection. ‘Now, how about we get you home?”