(Untitled)

[faiththatfuelsu]

Another year has come and gone. Everyone has parties to attend and resolutions to make (and break). Maybe your resolution is to ask out that co-worker you've been eying up, or to finally break off that no good relationship. Either way, no one should ring in the New Year alone. Everybody needs that kiss at midnight when the ball drops or a friend to

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Edgar Jacobi aka Moloch the Mystic

[aceupasleeve]

aceupasleeve

[smudgedup]

My resolution is to shag you as much as humanely pos-

No wait, that's not actually my resolution, I swear it.

[aceupasleeve]

...I've heard the human body is capable of incredible feats.

What is it then? And can that one be mine?

[smudgedup]

Have you? I'd like to think it's more than a little bit possible..

Mmmm, I don't actually make real resolutions. Just, things, sort of. Fine, just take my fake resolution! ...Especially if it's that one, I don't exactly mind if that's yours.

[aceupasleeve]

We'll have to test that one. For science!

Me neither. You can't improve something as perfect as me, and anyway resolutions never get done. But I'll make an exception for this one. My resolution will be to shag myself as many times as...!

[smudgedup]

Experimental purposes, right right.

Well yes, all of that is true. Not to mention you can change things any day of the we- Mm, I think that's a terrible resolution.

[aceupasleeve]

We owe it to humanity!

Exactly! Why wait to New Year we you can improve yourself any other day. It's only wishful thinking. Very true. Help me improve it?

[smudgedup]

We do! And seeing as we're both human, therefore we also owe it to ourselves.

My thoughts exactly. But if you're resolving to shag yourself then how am I supposed to help!?

[aceupasleeve]

Very true! So we'll be helping humanity will helping ourselves. Thinking like my lieutenant already!

You could... heh, lend my a hand.

[smudgedup]

Oh so is that how a lieutenant is supposed to think? I'll try to remember that for future reference.

...That was terrible. But actually I have two hands I could lend

[aceupasleeve]

That's how my lieutenant must think. But really, any way you think is perfect for me.

I'm no comedian. Two lovely hands, if I might add.

[smudgedup]

Well considering that's how I think usually, then we've absolutely no problem whatsoever!

But you're funny in you're own brilliant way. Oh, well uhm- They're alright, I suppose. [Wiggles his fingers at Ed]

[aceupasleeve]

I know! It's perfect, don't you think?

If you say so... I don't try to be funny. I do magic, not jokes. [Takes one of his hands and rubs his face on it.] More than alright. They're great.

[smudgedup]

It is! Thus the reason I intend to be the best lieutenant you've ever- could ever had.

You're funny in your own wonderful way, I swear it. [Presses his palm against his cheek.] Good thing they're not going anywhere, mm?

[aceupasleeve]

And you'll do a great job, I'm sure. I'm gonna enjoy sharing the world with you...

I make you laugh. That's enough for me. [Closes his eyes to fully enjoy the touch.] Very good thing. I'd miss them terribly.

[smudgedup]

Mm, and i'm going to enjoy sharing the world with you. Though you're going to have more control of it than I will..

You do! [Brushes his thumb back and forth as he steps closer.] And they'd miss you, come here-