This song pretty much sums up my life although I only loved Brian like that for a short time due to his bad behavior(to put it mildly ( Read more... )

I have come to the conclusion that pain and suffering are what I deserve in my life. I want to go out and abuse myself and my body and mind and who will care. We are all just alone in the end anyway full of resentment, anger, and pain. The world will keep right on spinning on it's axis no matter what I do. The pain is just too much and I thought i ( Read more... )

Here is the latest on the happenings in Kingwood. I am slowly going insane but it's ok because that is normal in my world. Helen is running off to Oklahoma with her new man,Wayne for Thanksgiving and seems to be playing with him like a cat plays with a mouse. It has come to my attention that sweet little Anthony has become a sex fiend, as in ( Read more... )

this weird thought just crossed my mind. Is every woman who becomes a mother supposed to be a mother? There are so many ways to explore that question and cause more questions, like not every mother is a good mother. Some are abusive, some are drug addicts, some just ignore their children until the children just become nothing to them. Some mothers ( Read more... )

Reality sucks so I've blurred the line here but I think 'Angel" will understand what I'm saying ( Read more... )

Hold on by Jamie Walters ( Read more... )

I will be hitting total meltdown any second now. While I am happy in so many places that Paul is here this weekend, this bit of good luck does not change the fact that I still live with the big bad monster. Paul's father is right. I should not put him in the position of facing brians wrath. Although I know he would never really physically hurt Paul ( Read more... )

I am hanging by a thread here people. Everything that can go wrong in my life has gone wrong and all in the span of a week and a half. Paul, At this point I could give a fuck and a half how my so called husband will react to any unruly thing I might do such as drive my shamu ass(his words not mine) to College Station. If I had the money I'd already ( Read more... )

I am alive but not really living. The huge hole that was once my life is sinking me down into the depths of darkness. Sweet everlasting sleep that's all I ask for, why is the universe trying to keep me here? Fuck god, fuck all these people that say there's a grand plan. If there is I'm screwed!! All I want is to go to CS and see Paul but (Here's ( Read more... )

I want to go to sleep and never wake up!! I want to believe that the afterlife has to be better than this. I hope that we get the place we always wanted in our dreams. My heaven has dancing all night and everyone is happy. All the mixed up people of the world are there but now everything is clear to them. I could cry a thousand tears but I'm afraid ( Read more... )