Fic
Title - Good Intentions
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - NC17
AN - Set after The Queen is Dead and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dreamscapes, Homecomings, Test Match, Wishful Thinking, Absent Friends, Small Mercies and State of Mind
Good Intentions
When she finds herself floating in the void she knows what it means, she knows this is an Emma dream, and that fact terrifies her. She wants to see Emma, she wants that more than anything, but she also knows what has to happen when she does see her. Things have to end. She has to break Emma’s heart. It’s the right thing to do. It’s the only thing to do.
From the second she learnt that her mother’s arrival was imminent Regina knew this needed to happen but she’s been avoiding the inevitable. She’s been wasting chances to end things. She has been weak and selfish and because of that they both will suffer. She should have ended things in the last dream. It would have felt purer that way - more about Emma. Now, like everything, it just feels like it’s about her mother.
The darkness around her is fitting, it’s what she deserves. Darkness is the home of those who have let go of hope. She needs to embrace the darkness, the emptiness, because she can not allow Emma to appear and make her forget the way things really are. If she lets that happen she will fail; she will have cursed them both.
Regina’s waiting eventually ends. The world flashes blindingly, painfully, white and she braces herself for what is to come, hoping desperately that she is strong enough to do the right thing.
Emma obviously sees her first because she calls, “Regina,” before Regina’s eyes have adjusted to the new environment. When their eyes do meet Emma’s face breaks into a smile that could light up a stadium and Regina feels sick to her stomach. This is going to be even harder than she imagined. “I’m so glad to see you,” Emma says, “I’ve missed you.”
“We dreamt about one another last night.”
“Yeah well I spend way more hours awake than asleep and for every single moment of those hours that I’m awake, I miss you.” Emma reaches out her arms and then stamps in frustration. “This sucks Regina, I wish I could kiss you. I want to hold you so much.”
“It’s better this way. Emma, we can’t go on like this. We need to end things.” There is no time to waste with sentimentality.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I keep kidding myself that we can do this. That we can have one another when I know we can’t. We have to end this now. It’s better for you anyway.”
“This is bullshit and don’t you even pretend you are doing this for me.”
“You can’t deny that your life would be much easier if no-one ever found out that you were with me.”
“I don’t give a shit. I don’t care what people think. I’d proudly tell them all that I’m in love with Regina Mills.”
She knows that Emma means what she says which only strengthens her resolve. She clearly needs to protect Emma from herself. “It’s too late for that. I’m not her anymore. She’s gone. I’m dead inside.” It’s better that she is honest. Better that Emma understands that there is no hope.
“Seriously Regina what the fuck has happened?”
“It’s not important. What is important is that it can’t be fixed.”
“I don’t believe that.” Emma looks at her with faith that she simply does not deserve.
“You’re belief, or rather lack there of, is irrelevant my dear. It can do nothing to change the situation. Facts are facts. It’s over Emma. You need to let it go. You should go back to him.”
“Would you go back to him?”
“I have no interest in Gold’s son,” she spits dismissively.
“Not him. Him.”
She feels herself falter. “That’s not an option,” her words come out short and clipped.
“But if it were?” Emma pushes.
“It doesn’t matter. I told you, I’m dead inside.”
“And I don’t believe that. I won’t ever believe that.”
“That’s not really up to you,” she mutters.
“I know he came back.”
Emma was right, she’s wasn’t dead inside, but she is now, Emma’s words have killed her. She’s been slain like the dragon that she is. “How do you know about that?” she whispers.
“I heard about it in passing.” Emma shrugs as though the return of Daniel is no big deal. “No one will tell me what happened though.”
“It’s nobody’s business,” her voice is as cold as ice. It sounds like she feels.
“I’m not just anyone, Regina.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Okay,” Emma replies calmly.
Regina’s tone had made it clear that there was no arguing on the matter but she is still shocked at how easily Emma backs down. It leaves her feeling a little unsettled, as though she has lost control of the conversation. If Emma had pushed she would have had something to fight against but now even that has been taken away from her. “It was awful,” she finds herself confessing.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Emma tells her softly.
She has to admit that Emma has played her well because now that Emma is not asking she finds herself desperate to tell. “He didn’t come back the same, he didn’t come back right.”
Something strange flits through Emma’s eyes but she is quick to school her features before asking Regina, “How do you mean?”
“I’m not sure how best to describe it. It was him and yet it wasn’t.” She doesn’t know what else to say.
Emma must sense her hesitation because she informs Regina, “I was serious before. You don’t have to talk about this if it’s too hard.”
She wraps her arms around herself and shakes her head slowly, “No,” she says, “I want to tell you. If I can’t give you anything else I at least owe you that.”
Emma gives her a sad look. “If that’s what you want.”
Regina wants to reach for Emma but she knows it’s pointless and so she hugs herself tighter. “I’d say he was a monster but that’s not quite right. I know a little too much about monsters,” she says mirthlessly. “He was monstrous and he was cruel but he didn’t mean to be.”
“Did he hurt you because if he did I swear I will kill him.”
“There’s no need for that. I already took care of that.”
“Oh God Regina,” Emma closes the gap between them and wraps Regina up in her arms. Regina registers Emma’s warmth but she doesn’t think about what it means.
“It doesn’t matter. It was for the best. He was tortured. It was the right thing to do.” She still believes that but it doesn’t help her to feel any better about the situation.
“You shouldn’t have had to do it.” Emma tightens her hold on her.
“Who should have done it then? You?” she asks bitterly.
“If necessary. I would have done whatever it took to keep you safe,” Emma places a kiss to Regina’s temple.
“I would never have asked you to do that. You are the last person who should have had that task. It would have poisoned things between us and I wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“Says the woman who tells me that she is dead inside and that it’s over.”
“I don’t see how it can be any other way. What has happened today can’t be undone.”
“How can bad can it be?” Emma asks. “Wait, on second thought I don’t want to know. We will deal with that soon enough. I’m on my way back.”
Somehow Regina already knew that but Emma’s confirmation fills her with anxiety. “Emma,” she cautions, “you know that is something that I have very ambivalent feelings about.”
“I know but I promise that when you see me you will be certain that I am where I’m meant to be.”
“I sincerely doubt that.”
“You can doubt all you want but you will see.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Because I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I’m meant to be wherever you are.”
She knows she shouldn’t let it happen but she can feel her resolve weakening. “I like it better when I’m near you too,” she says softly.
“Then we should both be happy that I’m on my way back.”
“When are you due to get here?” Her heart races at the thought that Emma will be home soon.
“I don’t really know.”
“Is Gold not being forthcoming about the travel arrangements?”
“I’m not sure that Gold knows how long it will take. He may not be an expert on this sort of travel. I know I’m not.”
“What are you travelling by, blimp?”
“That might be a little less weird. We are on a ship.”
“That’s not exactly an unconventional mode of transportation, Emma. I’m sure it’s possible to find out your ETA.”
“It’s a pirate ship.”
“What? How? Why?” It’s not the most eloquent that she has ever been but Emma will probably get the point.
“It’s Hook’s,” Emma explains. “He chased us here.”
“And you’re letting him bring you back?” There are times when she wonders if Emma is in fact slightly impaired.
“No. We have taken his ship.”
“Oh I see. I didn’t realise that Gold knew how to sale it but I guess there is no reason that I should.”
“I don’t know if he does. He’s not the one sailing it. His son is.”
“And you’re just telling me this now?”
“It’s not that important.”
“Henry’s father, your ex,” she doesn’t like the feel of the word in her mouth, “is coming here and you don’t think it’s important?”
“Are you worried about that because of Henry or because of me?”
“Henry of course,” she snips and wishes that were the whole truth.
“Of course,” Emma parrots. “Why would there be any other reason?”
In spite of all her plans and against her intentions, Regina finds her hands running up and down Emma’s back in what she hopes is a comforting gesture. “Do I need to worry? Do I have competition?”
“Do you even care if you do,” there is a sense of despair in Emma’s tone that frightens Regina.
“I may think it’s for the best that we end things but I’m exactly known for doing what’s best.”
“Is that so?” The hope in Emma’s eyes is hard for Regina to resist.
“Perhaps. So, tell me, do I have something to worry about?”
“No,” Emma says emphatically. “He means nothing to me.” Emma skims her hands down Regina’s neck and then over her collarbones. “Regina, it’s not the same for me as it is for you. I’m not your first choice but you are mine.”
Regina doesn’t answer with words, she just crushes her lips to Emma’s and doesn’t stop until Emma pushes her away in a weak attempt to beg for mercy. Emma rests her forehead against Regina’s, breathing heavily. “You mean to tell me that we’ve been able to do that the whole time and we’ve been wasting it talking?” she says with a smirk as she deftly removes Regina’s coat.
“I’ve told you before that talking to you is not something I ever consider to be a waste,” Regina reminds Emma but she attempts to lift Emma’s shirt and jacket over her head in a move that suggests that, right now, she might have slightly different priorities. The clothing bunches together at Emma’s elbows and effectively ties Emma’s arms above her head. She gently lowers her captive to the ground and looks down at her with hunger and satisfaction.
Emma struggles against her makeshift bounds and Regina tuts at her in disappointment. “Please,” Emma begs, “I need to be able to touch you.”
Regina relents and together they work to release the blonde. When her hands are finally free Emma toys with Regina’s scarf briefly before ripping Regina’s shirt from her body. “Miss Swan what have I told you about ruining my clothes?” Regina chides.
Emma responds with a massive roll of her eyes. “I don’t think destruction of dream clothes counts. I mean I assume this is not what you are wearing, that you didn’t go to sleep in heals and a suit.”
“No I didn’t,” Regina puzzles over the issue, “I’m wearing my…..”
A finger is placed over her lips, “Don’t tell me. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is getting you out of these clothes,” Emma says with a leer.
She smiles against Emma’s finger. “This is your dream. You are the one who put me in these clothes.
“Nuh-uh,” Emma says as she pulls Regina’s skirt up until it is around her waist. “This is your dream too. If it were just my dream there would be no clothes at all.”
“Well if were my dream you wouldn’t be wearing that ridiculous red jacket,” Regina eyes the discarded item with distain.
“I don’t know about that. It’s not what I’m wearing on the ship right now and as I keep telling you, if this were my call we would both be naked. I think the red jacket is all yours. I think you like me in it.” She slides her hands up Regina’s sides and then traces her bra strap.
“Maybe I’m just resigned to the fact that you don’t own any better clothes,” Regina says with a sigh.
“Nope. That’s not it.” Emma shakes her head and narrows her eyes as she struggles to undo Regina’s bra. “I’m normally better at this,” Emma says under her breath.
“Well it’s nice to know that you are a little rusty. I wouldn’t like to learn that you’d sharpened your skills during our separation.”
“Never!” Emma cries vehemently and at the same time she manages to remove Regina’s bra.
“Good,” Regina replies whilst pulling down Emma’s bra so that she can claim a nipple.
“I’m all yours,” Emma tells her, arching into Regina’s touch and pushing her knee between Regina’s thighs.
Regina kisses her way across Emma’s chest as her hands fumble with Emma’s belt. Regina’s own clothes prove to be far less of an obstacle as Emma easily shreds Regina’s stockings and pushes aside lace and silk to stroke what was being hidden below. Regina’s head falls forward and her fingers are having even more trouble with Emma’s jeans than they were with her belt and so she decides to change tactic.
She crawls up Emma and places her thigh along the seam of Emma’s jeans. She grinds firmly and Emma’s hips buck up to meet her. Likewise Emma lips rise up to kiss the nipple that now floats above them. Regina continues to buck and grind as Emma’s hand trails all the way up Regina’s body. Emma slowly walks her fingers down Regina’s back until she reaches Regina’s ass and grabs it firmly, silently encouraging Regina to add more pressure.
Regina thrusts harder and Emma groans in response. Emma elicits her own groan from Regina when she manages to worm a hand between their bodies and beneath Regina’s underwear in order to enter her. Emma taps her thumb over Regina’s clitoris as two fingers thrust inside of her and Regina knows that she is close to breaking. She is determined not to be the one to go first but she fears it’s a battle that she may lose. Her fingers find Emma’s nipples and she teases them with punishing force. Emma’s eyes close and her pumping fingers slow. Regina takes the opportunity to speed up her own actions until she feels Emma shudder beneath her. Emma’s fingers go rigid and still inside her and Regina pounds against them until she too is shuddering.
She collapses against Emma and watches in rapt fascination as Emma licks her fingers clean.
“Well that was definitely the best use of this dream voodoo thing ever,” Emma decides.
“Quite possibly.”
“Oh there is no possibly about it. We fucking rocked that.”
Regina laughs and delights in the way her movement transmits through Emma’s chest. She slowly traces her fingers over the skin of Emma’s breasts. “You are wrong you know.”
“Ah, no I am not,” Emma says indignantly, “what we just did was the very definition of something that fucking rocks.”
“Oh I wasn’t doubting that, dear, I was referring to something else entirely.”
“Ok,” Emma says sceptically. “What am I wrong about this time?”
“Don’t be like that,” Regina tells her as she places kisses along Emma’s jaw.
“It’s not as though it’s unusual for you to think that I am wrong.”
“I’m not trying to pick a fight,” her voice has become strained which doesn’t help her point, “I’m trying to tell you something important.”
“Then go ahead.” Emma dances her fingers up and down Regina’s back.
“What you said before, about you not being my first choice, you were wrong.”
She feels Emma stiffen beneath her. “It’s okay Regina. You don’t need to lie to me.”
“It not a lie,” she pulls herself up onto her elbow so that she can look Emma in the eyes. “It’s one of the many reasons it was so hard to have him back, seeing him only confirmed that he wasn’t the one I wanted anymore.”
“I think I’d be a lot more flattered if you hadn’t told me that he was some kind of monster who tried to hurt you,” Emma’s words were light but she embraced Regina in way that was both protective and possessive.
“Not all of him was like that. Or at least he wasn’t like that all of the time. There were moments when he was my fiancé. Standing before me was the a man I’d spent my whole waiting for, the person I’d sacrificed everything for, but he was no longer what I wanted. He wasn’t who I was meant to be with.”
“Too much water under the bridge?” Emma asks with sympathy.
“In a way,” Regina tells her, “but not in the way that you’d imagine. At least not in the way that I imagined. There is a lot of water under that bridge, a lot of bad water, but I always thought I’d be able to take it all back. That I would look at him and none of that would matter. That I could be the girl I used to be. In the way it worked. When I looked at him all the evil I had ever done seemed to disappear and for a second I could be that girl again but it turns out that I don’t want to be her.”
“I told you that you mother showed her to me, didn’t I?” Emma asks as she plays with Regina’s hair.
“You told me that she looked happy.”
“She really did,” the sadness in Emma’s voice is crippling, “I’m sorry that you can’t be with the person that makes you happy.”
“I don’t know if I can be happy with anyone but I do know that it’s not with him. Not now. When I saw him all that I ever felt for him came flooding back but it wasn’t quite enough. I’m not the same, I’m not the girl I once was. Not because of all the evil I’ve done but because I’m not a child anymore. I need more than he can offer. I need someone who can challenge me. Someone who doesn’t just overlook or forgive all the wrong that I have done but rather accepts that it is a part of me. I need you Emma.”
“And you have me.” Emma squeezes her lovingly.
“It may not be enough. I’m trying so hard but I’ve fucked up already. My mother killed someone today, someone important to your mother, I’m really not helping myself or our cause.”
“Hey. You didn’t kill this person,” Emma tells her firmly.
“But I’ve killed many, many others.”
“I know that. It’s part of the water under that bridge we were taking about before,” she gives Regina a small grin.
“Your mother will never believe that I didn’t have anything to do with the death today.”
“Mary Margaret can think what she wants. She does not get a say in how I feel about you.”
“Perhaps not but you deserve to have a relationship with her and I’m standing in the way of that.”
“Hey!” Emma says again. “When it comes down to you or her there is no competition. I told you, you are my first choice, and I mean that in all ways.”
She tangles her fingers through Emma’s hair and places a gentle kiss to her lips, “How did I ever find someone like you?”
“You got really, really lucky Regina Mills,” Emma says and then kisses her on the forehead.
She attempts to formulate the perfect reply but Emma is suddenly gone, leaving Regina in the void. She may never get to give Emma her reply. She should have been quicker; she should have asked Emma a whole lot of things, like what the hell she was doing on that ship, but it’s too late for any of that. For some reason she can’t bring herself to care though. Somehow the void doesn’t feel as empty as it used to. Somehow Emma has managed to make everything seem better, even the idea of waking isn’t as bad as it should be.
Regina knows that when it comes to her mother she has lost the recent battles but contact with Emma makes her think that doesn’t matter. Battles aren’t important when you have someone who makes you believe that you can win the war.
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - NC17
AN - Set after The Queen is Dead and follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Dreamscapes, Homecomings, Test Match, Wishful Thinking, Absent Friends, Small Mercies and State of Mind
Good Intentions
When she finds herself floating in the void she knows what it means, she knows this is an Emma dream, and that fact terrifies her. She wants to see Emma, she wants that more than anything, but she also knows what has to happen when she does see her. Things have to end. She has to break Emma’s heart. It’s the right thing to do. It’s the only thing to do.
From the second she learnt that her mother’s arrival was imminent Regina knew this needed to happen but she’s been avoiding the inevitable. She’s been wasting chances to end things. She has been weak and selfish and because of that they both will suffer. She should have ended things in the last dream. It would have felt purer that way - more about Emma. Now, like everything, it just feels like it’s about her mother.
The darkness around her is fitting, it’s what she deserves. Darkness is the home of those who have let go of hope. She needs to embrace the darkness, the emptiness, because she can not allow Emma to appear and make her forget the way things really are. If she lets that happen she will fail; she will have cursed them both.
Regina’s waiting eventually ends. The world flashes blindingly, painfully, white and she braces herself for what is to come, hoping desperately that she is strong enough to do the right thing.
Emma obviously sees her first because she calls, “Regina,” before Regina’s eyes have adjusted to the new environment. When their eyes do meet Emma’s face breaks into a smile that could light up a stadium and Regina feels sick to her stomach. This is going to be even harder than she imagined. “I’m so glad to see you,” Emma says, “I’ve missed you.”
“We dreamt about one another last night.”
“Yeah well I spend way more hours awake than asleep and for every single moment of those hours that I’m awake, I miss you.” Emma reaches out her arms and then stamps in frustration. “This sucks Regina, I wish I could kiss you. I want to hold you so much.”
“It’s better this way. Emma, we can’t go on like this. We need to end things.” There is no time to waste with sentimentality.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I keep kidding myself that we can do this. That we can have one another when I know we can’t. We have to end this now. It’s better for you anyway.”
“This is bullshit and don’t you even pretend you are doing this for me.”
“You can’t deny that your life would be much easier if no-one ever found out that you were with me.”
“I don’t give a shit. I don’t care what people think. I’d proudly tell them all that I’m in love with Regina Mills.”
She knows that Emma means what she says which only strengthens her resolve. She clearly needs to protect Emma from herself. “It’s too late for that. I’m not her anymore. She’s gone. I’m dead inside.” It’s better that she is honest. Better that Emma understands that there is no hope.
“Seriously Regina what the fuck has happened?”
“It’s not important. What is important is that it can’t be fixed.”
“I don’t believe that.” Emma looks at her with faith that she simply does not deserve.
“You’re belief, or rather lack there of, is irrelevant my dear. It can do nothing to change the situation. Facts are facts. It’s over Emma. You need to let it go. You should go back to him.”
“Would you go back to him?”
“I have no interest in Gold’s son,” she spits dismissively.
“Not him. Him.”
She feels herself falter. “That’s not an option,” her words come out short and clipped.
“But if it were?” Emma pushes.
“It doesn’t matter. I told you, I’m dead inside.”
“And I don’t believe that. I won’t ever believe that.”
“That’s not really up to you,” she mutters.
“I know he came back.”
Emma was right, she’s wasn’t dead inside, but she is now, Emma’s words have killed her. She’s been slain like the dragon that she is. “How do you know about that?” she whispers.
“I heard about it in passing.” Emma shrugs as though the return of Daniel is no big deal. “No one will tell me what happened though.”
“It’s nobody’s business,” her voice is as cold as ice. It sounds like she feels.
“I’m not just anyone, Regina.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Okay,” Emma replies calmly.
Regina’s tone had made it clear that there was no arguing on the matter but she is still shocked at how easily Emma backs down. It leaves her feeling a little unsettled, as though she has lost control of the conversation. If Emma had pushed she would have had something to fight against but now even that has been taken away from her. “It was awful,” she finds herself confessing.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” Emma tells her softly.
She has to admit that Emma has played her well because now that Emma is not asking she finds herself desperate to tell. “He didn’t come back the same, he didn’t come back right.”
Something strange flits through Emma’s eyes but she is quick to school her features before asking Regina, “How do you mean?”
“I’m not sure how best to describe it. It was him and yet it wasn’t.” She doesn’t know what else to say.
Emma must sense her hesitation because she informs Regina, “I was serious before. You don’t have to talk about this if it’s too hard.”
She wraps her arms around herself and shakes her head slowly, “No,” she says, “I want to tell you. If I can’t give you anything else I at least owe you that.”
Emma gives her a sad look. “If that’s what you want.”
Regina wants to reach for Emma but she knows it’s pointless and so she hugs herself tighter. “I’d say he was a monster but that’s not quite right. I know a little too much about monsters,” she says mirthlessly. “He was monstrous and he was cruel but he didn’t mean to be.”
“Did he hurt you because if he did I swear I will kill him.”
“There’s no need for that. I already took care of that.”
“Oh God Regina,” Emma closes the gap between them and wraps Regina up in her arms. Regina registers Emma’s warmth but she doesn’t think about what it means.
“It doesn’t matter. It was for the best. He was tortured. It was the right thing to do.” She still believes that but it doesn’t help her to feel any better about the situation.
“You shouldn’t have had to do it.” Emma tightens her hold on her.
“Who should have done it then? You?” she asks bitterly.
“If necessary. I would have done whatever it took to keep you safe,” Emma places a kiss to Regina’s temple.
“I would never have asked you to do that. You are the last person who should have had that task. It would have poisoned things between us and I wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“Says the woman who tells me that she is dead inside and that it’s over.”
“I don’t see how it can be any other way. What has happened today can’t be undone.”
“How can bad can it be?” Emma asks. “Wait, on second thought I don’t want to know. We will deal with that soon enough. I’m on my way back.”
Somehow Regina already knew that but Emma’s confirmation fills her with anxiety. “Emma,” she cautions, “you know that is something that I have very ambivalent feelings about.”
“I know but I promise that when you see me you will be certain that I am where I’m meant to be.”
“I sincerely doubt that.”
“You can doubt all you want but you will see.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Because I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I’m meant to be wherever you are.”
She knows she shouldn’t let it happen but she can feel her resolve weakening. “I like it better when I’m near you too,” she says softly.
“Then we should both be happy that I’m on my way back.”
“When are you due to get here?” Her heart races at the thought that Emma will be home soon.
“I don’t really know.”
“Is Gold not being forthcoming about the travel arrangements?”
“I’m not sure that Gold knows how long it will take. He may not be an expert on this sort of travel. I know I’m not.”
“What are you travelling by, blimp?”
“That might be a little less weird. We are on a ship.”
“That’s not exactly an unconventional mode of transportation, Emma. I’m sure it’s possible to find out your ETA.”
“It’s a pirate ship.”
“What? How? Why?” It’s not the most eloquent that she has ever been but Emma will probably get the point.
“It’s Hook’s,” Emma explains. “He chased us here.”
“And you’re letting him bring you back?” There are times when she wonders if Emma is in fact slightly impaired.
“No. We have taken his ship.”
“Oh I see. I didn’t realise that Gold knew how to sale it but I guess there is no reason that I should.”
“I don’t know if he does. He’s not the one sailing it. His son is.”
“And you’re just telling me this now?”
“It’s not that important.”
“Henry’s father, your ex,” she doesn’t like the feel of the word in her mouth, “is coming here and you don’t think it’s important?”
“Are you worried about that because of Henry or because of me?”
“Henry of course,” she snips and wishes that were the whole truth.
“Of course,” Emma parrots. “Why would there be any other reason?”
In spite of all her plans and against her intentions, Regina finds her hands running up and down Emma’s back in what she hopes is a comforting gesture. “Do I need to worry? Do I have competition?”
“Do you even care if you do,” there is a sense of despair in Emma’s tone that frightens Regina.
“I may think it’s for the best that we end things but I’m exactly known for doing what’s best.”
“Is that so?” The hope in Emma’s eyes is hard for Regina to resist.
“Perhaps. So, tell me, do I have something to worry about?”
“No,” Emma says emphatically. “He means nothing to me.” Emma skims her hands down Regina’s neck and then over her collarbones. “Regina, it’s not the same for me as it is for you. I’m not your first choice but you are mine.”
Regina doesn’t answer with words, she just crushes her lips to Emma’s and doesn’t stop until Emma pushes her away in a weak attempt to beg for mercy. Emma rests her forehead against Regina’s, breathing heavily. “You mean to tell me that we’ve been able to do that the whole time and we’ve been wasting it talking?” she says with a smirk as she deftly removes Regina’s coat.
“I’ve told you before that talking to you is not something I ever consider to be a waste,” Regina reminds Emma but she attempts to lift Emma’s shirt and jacket over her head in a move that suggests that, right now, she might have slightly different priorities. The clothing bunches together at Emma’s elbows and effectively ties Emma’s arms above her head. She gently lowers her captive to the ground and looks down at her with hunger and satisfaction.
Emma struggles against her makeshift bounds and Regina tuts at her in disappointment. “Please,” Emma begs, “I need to be able to touch you.”
Regina relents and together they work to release the blonde. When her hands are finally free Emma toys with Regina’s scarf briefly before ripping Regina’s shirt from her body. “Miss Swan what have I told you about ruining my clothes?” Regina chides.
Emma responds with a massive roll of her eyes. “I don’t think destruction of dream clothes counts. I mean I assume this is not what you are wearing, that you didn’t go to sleep in heals and a suit.”
“No I didn’t,” Regina puzzles over the issue, “I’m wearing my…..”
A finger is placed over her lips, “Don’t tell me. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is getting you out of these clothes,” Emma says with a leer.
She smiles against Emma’s finger. “This is your dream. You are the one who put me in these clothes.
“Nuh-uh,” Emma says as she pulls Regina’s skirt up until it is around her waist. “This is your dream too. If it were just my dream there would be no clothes at all.”
“Well if were my dream you wouldn’t be wearing that ridiculous red jacket,” Regina eyes the discarded item with distain.
“I don’t know about that. It’s not what I’m wearing on the ship right now and as I keep telling you, if this were my call we would both be naked. I think the red jacket is all yours. I think you like me in it.” She slides her hands up Regina’s sides and then traces her bra strap.
“Maybe I’m just resigned to the fact that you don’t own any better clothes,” Regina says with a sigh.
“Nope. That’s not it.” Emma shakes her head and narrows her eyes as she struggles to undo Regina’s bra. “I’m normally better at this,” Emma says under her breath.
“Well it’s nice to know that you are a little rusty. I wouldn’t like to learn that you’d sharpened your skills during our separation.”
“Never!” Emma cries vehemently and at the same time she manages to remove Regina’s bra.
“Good,” Regina replies whilst pulling down Emma’s bra so that she can claim a nipple.
“I’m all yours,” Emma tells her, arching into Regina’s touch and pushing her knee between Regina’s thighs.
Regina kisses her way across Emma’s chest as her hands fumble with Emma’s belt. Regina’s own clothes prove to be far less of an obstacle as Emma easily shreds Regina’s stockings and pushes aside lace and silk to stroke what was being hidden below. Regina’s head falls forward and her fingers are having even more trouble with Emma’s jeans than they were with her belt and so she decides to change tactic.
She crawls up Emma and places her thigh along the seam of Emma’s jeans. She grinds firmly and Emma’s hips buck up to meet her. Likewise Emma lips rise up to kiss the nipple that now floats above them. Regina continues to buck and grind as Emma’s hand trails all the way up Regina’s body. Emma slowly walks her fingers down Regina’s back until she reaches Regina’s ass and grabs it firmly, silently encouraging Regina to add more pressure.
Regina thrusts harder and Emma groans in response. Emma elicits her own groan from Regina when she manages to worm a hand between their bodies and beneath Regina’s underwear in order to enter her. Emma taps her thumb over Regina’s clitoris as two fingers thrust inside of her and Regina knows that she is close to breaking. She is determined not to be the one to go first but she fears it’s a battle that she may lose. Her fingers find Emma’s nipples and she teases them with punishing force. Emma’s eyes close and her pumping fingers slow. Regina takes the opportunity to speed up her own actions until she feels Emma shudder beneath her. Emma’s fingers go rigid and still inside her and Regina pounds against them until she too is shuddering.
She collapses against Emma and watches in rapt fascination as Emma licks her fingers clean.
“Well that was definitely the best use of this dream voodoo thing ever,” Emma decides.
“Quite possibly.”
“Oh there is no possibly about it. We fucking rocked that.”
Regina laughs and delights in the way her movement transmits through Emma’s chest. She slowly traces her fingers over the skin of Emma’s breasts. “You are wrong you know.”
“Ah, no I am not,” Emma says indignantly, “what we just did was the very definition of something that fucking rocks.”
“Oh I wasn’t doubting that, dear, I was referring to something else entirely.”
“Ok,” Emma says sceptically. “What am I wrong about this time?”
“Don’t be like that,” Regina tells her as she places kisses along Emma’s jaw.
“It’s not as though it’s unusual for you to think that I am wrong.”
“I’m not trying to pick a fight,” her voice has become strained which doesn’t help her point, “I’m trying to tell you something important.”
“Then go ahead.” Emma dances her fingers up and down Regina’s back.
“What you said before, about you not being my first choice, you were wrong.”
She feels Emma stiffen beneath her. “It’s okay Regina. You don’t need to lie to me.”
“It not a lie,” she pulls herself up onto her elbow so that she can look Emma in the eyes. “It’s one of the many reasons it was so hard to have him back, seeing him only confirmed that he wasn’t the one I wanted anymore.”
“I think I’d be a lot more flattered if you hadn’t told me that he was some kind of monster who tried to hurt you,” Emma’s words were light but she embraced Regina in way that was both protective and possessive.
“Not all of him was like that. Or at least he wasn’t like that all of the time. There were moments when he was my fiancé. Standing before me was the a man I’d spent my whole waiting for, the person I’d sacrificed everything for, but he was no longer what I wanted. He wasn’t who I was meant to be with.”
“Too much water under the bridge?” Emma asks with sympathy.
“In a way,” Regina tells her, “but not in the way that you’d imagine. At least not in the way that I imagined. There is a lot of water under that bridge, a lot of bad water, but I always thought I’d be able to take it all back. That I would look at him and none of that would matter. That I could be the girl I used to be. In the way it worked. When I looked at him all the evil I had ever done seemed to disappear and for a second I could be that girl again but it turns out that I don’t want to be her.”
“I told you that you mother showed her to me, didn’t I?” Emma asks as she plays with Regina’s hair.
“You told me that she looked happy.”
“She really did,” the sadness in Emma’s voice is crippling, “I’m sorry that you can’t be with the person that makes you happy.”
“I don’t know if I can be happy with anyone but I do know that it’s not with him. Not now. When I saw him all that I ever felt for him came flooding back but it wasn’t quite enough. I’m not the same, I’m not the girl I once was. Not because of all the evil I’ve done but because I’m not a child anymore. I need more than he can offer. I need someone who can challenge me. Someone who doesn’t just overlook or forgive all the wrong that I have done but rather accepts that it is a part of me. I need you Emma.”
“And you have me.” Emma squeezes her lovingly.
“It may not be enough. I’m trying so hard but I’ve fucked up already. My mother killed someone today, someone important to your mother, I’m really not helping myself or our cause.”
“Hey. You didn’t kill this person,” Emma tells her firmly.
“But I’ve killed many, many others.”
“I know that. It’s part of the water under that bridge we were taking about before,” she gives Regina a small grin.
“Your mother will never believe that I didn’t have anything to do with the death today.”
“Mary Margaret can think what she wants. She does not get a say in how I feel about you.”
“Perhaps not but you deserve to have a relationship with her and I’m standing in the way of that.”
“Hey!” Emma says again. “When it comes down to you or her there is no competition. I told you, you are my first choice, and I mean that in all ways.”
She tangles her fingers through Emma’s hair and places a gentle kiss to her lips, “How did I ever find someone like you?”
“You got really, really lucky Regina Mills,” Emma says and then kisses her on the forehead.
She attempts to formulate the perfect reply but Emma is suddenly gone, leaving Regina in the void. She may never get to give Emma her reply. She should have been quicker; she should have asked Emma a whole lot of things, like what the hell she was doing on that ship, but it’s too late for any of that. For some reason she can’t bring herself to care though. Somehow the void doesn’t feel as empty as it used to. Somehow Emma has managed to make everything seem better, even the idea of waking isn’t as bad as it should be.
Regina knows that when it comes to her mother she has lost the recent battles but contact with Emma makes her think that doesn’t matter. Battles aren’t important when you have someone who makes you believe that you can win the war.