Fic
Title - Homecomings
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - NC17
AN - Set during Queen of Hearts which features interaction between my babies. Actual interaction! It also follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes and Dreamscapes
Homecomings
Light has turned to dark, day to night, but she hasn’t moved from her position. She sits sentry, the waiting killing her. She doesn’t have many virtues and patience is certainly not amongst them. Her vigil is sad and lonely. Some would say it was pointless, that her place was made clear when she was left at Gold’s without a second thought, but she doesn’t believe that this will be for nothing. She is not someone who waits, she has had little in her life worth waiting for, but she is willing to wait for Emma.
She sits on the steps that separate the entranceway from the foyer and stares at the unlocked front door. This is a level to which she could never have imagined she would stoop but she finds she’s stuck. She can’t move because to do so would mean the possibility of missing precious seconds with Emma and she has missed far too much already.
She tries not to think of her actions as desperate. A desperate person would be waiting out on the street or would have bodily dragged Emma out of Granny’s. This display is pathetic but at least it’s not desperate.
The wait feels endless but everything ends eventually. She hears the sound of someone trying to make their way quietly up her path. Trying but failing. Emma’s footfalls are heavy and it’s clear to Regina that she is moving quickly. That fact almost makes Regina forgive her for the wait.
Emma knocks on the door but Regina doesn’t respond. She neither moves nor makes a sound. Regina expected that Emma would continue to pound on her door, she was looking forward to a crescendo in sound and possibly some hollering but Emma proves they are a little too much in synch by pushing the door open.
If Emma thinks anything of Regina sitting so close and yet failing to make her presence known she doesn’t bother to mention it. She falls to her knees in front of Regina and says, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think they’d ever go to bed.”
Regina had expected Emma to kiss her but that doesn’t happen, instead Emma grabs a clump of Regina’s hair and pulls on it tightly. The sheriff sits in silence and looks deeply into Regina’s eyes. Regina feels like she’s drowning and she reaches out to stroke Emma’s face, it’s not a conventional life preserver but for Regina it’s an extremely effective one.
Emma turns her head and places a kiss on Regina’s palm. “I can’t believe you are really here,” Emma whispers.
“Well you certainly took your time,” she complains.
Emma takes Regina’s head between her hands, “From the moment I got sucked into that wasteland you called a world I’ve been trying to get back to you.”
Her heart soars at those words but she keeps her voice cool and even, “And yet you wasted precious time going off for a celebratory meal.”
“I honestly thought you would come,” Emma looks like a wounded child.
“I wasn’t invited.”
“I didn’t realise that you needed to be.”
“Nobody wanted me there,” it annoys Regina that she sounds petulant because it’s very much the truth.
“I wanted you there,” Emma insists. “I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.” She pushes Regina back onto the floor and crawls up the stairs to lie on top of her.
There is so much that Regina wants to say but right now words feel unnecessarily cumbersome. Her body can talk for her. It is screaming with need and now that Emma’s weight is on top of her that need is impossible to ignore. She claims Emma’s lips and fully intends to claim every inch of her body.
Emma allows the kiss but when Regina’s hands begin to roam Emma takes them and pins them above Regina’s head. “I want to touch you,” Regina protests.
“Not just yet,” Emma tells her and then proceeds to attack the skin of Regina’s neck with her lips and teeth.
Regina’s fingers twitch, they appear to be unable to understand that they are currently restrained and they seek blindly for contact with Emma’s skin. Emma gives her a stern look as takes her hands away for Regina’s wrists. “Don’t you move,” she instructs.
Active thought is required for Regina to keep her arms on the floor. She curses Emma, metaphorically, as Emma slowly trails her fingers down Regina’s arms. Regina is grateful that she had the foresight to remove her jacket but laments the fact that she didn’t change out of her shirt as she longs for the Emma to be touching her skin.
Emma unbuttons Regina’s shirt but to Regina the process seems painstakingly slow. Several times Regina’s arms move towards Emma of their own accord and she has to remind herself to put them back down. Things become a little easier when Emma finally parts Regina’s shirt and simultaneously pushes her thigh between Regina’s legs. Her arms become too heavy to lift and her head falls to the side as Emma captures one of Regina’s nipples and grinds a thigh against her.
She shouldn’t have been angry with Emma for dragging things out earlier because it’s becoming very apparent that this is going to end all too soon. Emma’s movements are pushing the seam of Regina’s pants against her aching core and she can feel the pressure building.
Regina thrusts her hips against Emma as Emma moves her attention to Regina’s other nipple. The friction between her legs is becoming unbearable and she breaks Emma’s rules by grabbing the blonde’s ass and pulling it firmly towards her. Emma bites down on Regina’s nipple and Regina falls over the edge.
When she climbs her way back up to reality Emma is looking down at her and stroking her hair. “I would be mad at you for moving but you are so beautiful when you are out of control.”
“Thank you dear,” she demurs.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“Oh trust me, I really do,” Regina says, “but now it’s your turn.”
She pushes on Emma’s shoulder and tries to reverse their positions but Emma resists. “No, not here. Not like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to take this upstairs.”
“But it was ok for you to take me on the floor?” she can feel her anger rising inside of her.
“I couldn’t wait,” Emma confesses.
Regina’s anger instantly evaporates, “Is that so?”
“I’d been separated from you for way too long. I couldn’t wait another second.”
“And neither can I,” Regina tells her as she again tries to push Emma onto her back.
“Regina, normally I would be happy for you to fuck me anywhere you want but I haven’t slept in a real bed in what feels like forever and I’d really like to be somewhere comfortable.”
“That world can lack certain creature comforts.”
“Probably not for you. You were a queen.”
“Not by choice.”
“Well that works out well because I didn’t choose to be a princess.”
“No I guess not.”
“I didn’t get to choose many things,” Emma says glumly and Regina senses that their evening has taken a turn.
“Me neither.”
“I feel like nothing I’ve ever done was really for me. Everything was mapped out before I was born. Even Henry. I was meant to be here at exactly this time and exactly this age. I was meant to break the curse by saving my son. I don’t feel like anything is mine.” Regina is surprised to see a tear fall down Emma’s cheek.
“I see,” is all she is able to say. Anything more and she thinks she may lose it.
“Everything but you,” Emma says and kisses her gently.
“Do you really think that?”
“Yes. Yes I do.” Regina sighs in relief and Emma smiles at her. “We were meant to meet.”
Suddenly she is feeling anxious again, “That sounds suspiciously like something that was mapped out.”
“Oh our meeting was definitely planned. I was meant to come here, I was meant to meet you, I was sent to break the curse.”
“None of that sounds comforting,” she says softly.
Emma reaches up and pushes Regina’s hair behind her ear, “Let me finish. All of that was meant to happen but this wasn’t,” she kisses Regina again. “I was not meant to fall in love with you. That, we did all on our own.”
“You think I love you?” she asks and can’t stop the smirk that plays at her lips.
“No,” Emma says. “I know you love me.”
“Aren’t we confident all of a sudden?” Regina mocks as she runs a finger down the centre of Emma’s chest.
“I have every right to be. We fucking made magic together.”
“We’ve always done that,” she could gag on her own sappiness.
Emma doesn’t seem to mind, in fact her face breaks into a huge smile. “Enough talking. Take me to bed. I don’t want to think I snuck out like a horny teenager for nothing.”
“It would be my pleasure.”
Emma pushes herself up onto her knees and Regina gets up. She moves around Emma and goes to lock the door.
“You’re locking this now?” Emma sounds amused.
“I am very safety conscious Sheriff Swan.”
“You didn’t seem so worried about it before.”
“I was a little preoccupied,” she admits as she returns to Emma. She takes the blonde’s hand and pulls her to her feet. As she leads Emma upstairs Emma has trouble keeping her free hand to herself. “Stop that,” she admonishes.
“You don’t like it?” Emma asks.
“I don’t like your chances of getting to a bed if you keep this up.”
Emma is positively chaste for the rest of the trip. Things change when they reach Regina’s bed and Emma removes her own clothes as if they are on fire. Regina feels a surge of affection for her as she carefully removes her own clothing. This way might be less erotic but it is better for Regina’s wardrobe. Emma has destroyed a number of expensive items by refusing to stop to undo buttons.
She crawls onto the bed and feels strangely vulnerable. It’s not as though she’s never been naked in front of Emma before but somehow this feels different. Maybe she is not the only one feeling that way because when Emma joins her on the bed she hesitates before touching her, “There’s something I need to ask you.”
Given Emma can’t meet her eye Regina is very worried what the question might be but she says, “Anything,” with a certainty that she does not feel.
“There’s this thing tomorrow….” Emma starts but trails off.
“You are going to have to be a little more specific dear.”
Emma takes a deep breath and Regina watches her shoulders rise and fall, “There’s this sort of party tomorrow night at Granny’s. It’s a welcome back thing. I think I might only be included as an afterthought but it’s my welcome back too and I want you there.”
The request eases some of the pain she felt when she was left standing at Gold’s. “Like as your date?” she asks wickedly.
Emma looks completely thrown, “I hadn’t thought about that. I just wanted you there. If you want to be my date you can.”
“It’s ok”, she runs her fingers over Emma’s breasts and smiles when Emma hisses in response. “I don’t think we are ready for that.”
“So you won’t come?” Emma sounds like Henry when he doesn’t get his way.
“I’ll come. I just won’t be your date, at least not officially.”
Emma smiles widely, “We’ll work up to officially.”
Regina squeezes Emma’s nipples and says, ‘That’s ok.” Truth be told going public with their relationship is something that terrifies her. People learning that she was in love did not exactly go well for her last time.
She removes her right hand from Emma’s nipple and lets her lips take its place. Emma wraps her arms around Regina and squeezes tightly. “Now that I have you back I’m never going to let you go again.”
Regina ceases her movement and looks Emma in the eye, “You may have to.”
“Never,” Emma insists.
“My mother is determined to come here and if she does it won’t be safe.” She closes her eyes and adds, “I will not be safe.”
“We’ll fight her together.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“It’s not a question of asking.”
“Emma,” she whispers and moves up so that she can capture her lips, “you have to promise me that if she ever comes you will let me go.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You can and you will,” Regina insists.
“You don’t get to make that decision for me. Stop acting like you know better than me.”
“When it comes to Cora I do know better than you.”
“I know enough,” Emma mutters.
“Oh Emma you can’t begin to imagine what she is capable of.”
Regina’s words are soft but somehow they seem to annoy Emma because Emma rolls away from her and flinches when Regina tries to touch her. “I don’t need to imagine. She stuck her hand in my chest and tried to rip my heart out.”
Regina’s own heart stops and she clutches desperately at Emma, flipping the other woman onto her back. Emma looks as though she wants to punch her in the face but she settles when Regina places her hand on her chest. Regina maps out the region of Emma’s heart and its presence both comforts and confuses her, “It’s still here.”
“Yep,” Emma agrees. “I said she tried to take it, I didn’t say she succeeded.”
“She can’t have tried very hard,” Regina muses as her fingers continue to trace the flesh in the centre of Emma’s chest.
“Her fucking arm went straight into my chest like it was nothing.”
Regina flattens her palm over Emma’s chest, “Then I don’t understand how it can still be here.”
“You don’t think I’m strong enough to withstand your mother?” Emma sounds insulted.
She removes her hand from Emma’s chest, lamenting the loss of the warmth, and wraps her arms around herself. “I wasn’t.”
Emma sits up and envelopes Regina in a hug, “I’m sorry.” Regina feels a kiss brush across her temple. “Sometimes I don’t think before I speak.”
“It’s ok,” Regina moves her hands up to Emma’s forearms and gives them a squeeze, “but I legitimately don’t understand how anyone could resist her.”
“I’m not sure that I did.”
“But you have your heart.” Regina felt that heart hammering beneath her fingers so she’s knows it’s safe but she also knows that’s impossible.
“She couldn’t take it.”
“What do you mean?” Regina asks.
“It wouldn’t leave my chest.”
Regina turns in the embrace and looks at Emma in wonder, “But how?”
“I really don’t know. Mary Margaret thinks it’s because of saviour magic and her true love with David.”
Regina delights in the fact that Emma still refers to Snow as Mary Margaret. “You don’t sound like you believe that.”
“I’m not sure I think all that much of the world that you come from,” Emma says with a shrug.
“We’ve already discussed that it lacks charms,” Regina admits, “but what does that have to do with it?”
“There is a lot of stuff invested in love in your world but I don’t think love there is all that it’s cracked up to be.”
“Is that so?” she asks, genuinely intrigued.
“Everyone keeps banging on about how I am the product of true love like that is some major deal but they are blind. I’m not anything special. I’m a pawn in Gold’s plans. I think I might have been born only to break your curse,” Emma pauses and tilts her head to the side, “but it’s not really your curse is it?”
“No, I don’t think it ever was,” she has known that for a long time. “What makes you say that?”
Emma reaches for Regina’s hand and laces their fingers together, “You are a pawn like me.”
Regina bristles at the statement but asks, “What?”
“Gold,” Emma states simply.
“You do know that’s not actually an answer, don’t you dear?”
“I think it answers everything but I don’t want it to be true.”
“Are you asking me if Gold made the curse?”
“I don’t need to ask. I know he did it. You may have placed the curse and you may have believed that you wanted it but that curse was always for him.”
These thoughts echo Regina’s own but she never expected anyone to agree with her, “I did think it was for me. I don’t think I did it for the reasons Gold tried to feed me but I still thought it was what I wanted.”
“Why?”
“Because it had to be better than how things were.”
“Well indoor plumbing is definitely an improvement.” Emma smiles at her and she feels her own smile form in return.
“I didn’t want people to be miserable here. I didn’t want to have to be cruel. I actually wanted things to be different. I wanted to be different.” A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “I was stupid enough to think that I wasn’t too far gone to change. That there was still some good in me.”
“Of course there is good in you,” Emma insists.
“There can’t be. I could have killed you today.”
“Henry says you saved me,” Emma reminds her.
“I did but if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have needed saving.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I cast a barrier. It would have destroyed anyone who came through it.”
“Why?” Regina can see the hurt in Emma’s eyes and she feels deeply ashamed.
“Because Gold convinced me that it would be Cora coming through the portal.”
“And you didn’t think she could be beaten?”
“No,” she says honestly.
“So why take the barrier down? I know what it would mean for you if she came through.”
“Because if Cora came through it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“The hell it wouldn’t. Regina that bitch be crazy.”
“I know that.”
“So I ask again why take the barrier down? Henry kinda implied that it hurt you a lot to do it.”
“It did. I’m drained and weak but I didn’t have a choice.”
“You wanted your mother to come?” For the first time in a long time Emma looks at her as though she fears her.
“No. Not at all. If she had come through the portal it would have all been over for me.”
“Then you should have kept it shut.” Emma tightens her grip on the hand that is still joined with Regina’s. “I don’t ever want you to be in a position where that woman has the power to hurt you.”
“I couldn’t keep it shut. What if I was wrong? What if it wasn’t her coming through? I couldn’t live with myself if I thought there was a chance that I had killed you.” Regina takes her free hand and threads it into Emma’s hair.
“Henry says you hesitated though,” Emma accuses.
“It seemed so impossible. Also, Gold was there. He can never be allowed to think that I care for you.”
“Is this you telling me that we can not let anyone know about our relationship?”
“Emma there’s so many reasons why we can’t do that.”
“You don’t need to be ashamed of me, you know.” Emma’s eyes are steely. “I’m not just some ex-con turned sheriff anymore, I’m a princess.”
“None of that matters to me. It never did. Besides, in this town if anyone is going to be ashamed of someone you should be ashamed to be with me.”
“And yet I couldn’t be more proud. If you’d let me I’d tell everyone. I’d shout it from the rooftops.”
“That would not impress your parents at all.” In response to her words Emma kisses her. “What was that for?”
“Because you know how much it would hurt my parents to learn that we are together.”
“It would kill them,” and although she would never admit it, that fact makes Regina sad.
“And yet you don’t tell them.”
“This is none of their business,” her voice is forceful.
“Regina Mills don’t you see what this means?”
“I’m a very private person.”
“That’s not it at all.”
“I am a private person,” she argues, “you don’t know me at all.”
“I know that you have the daughter of Snow White, you sworn enemy, naked in your bed and dying for you to touch her,” Emma takes Regina’s hand and slides it down her body placing it over the site of some undeniable arousal, “and yet you don’t take advantage of that.”
“I’m certainly going to take advantage of this,” Regina says as she pushes Emma back onto the bed and lets her fingers explore wet folds.
Emma moans and then says, “Oh you had better take advantage of that. I want you to fuck me so hard that I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
“I do like a challenge,” Regina tells her and then kisses her way down the column of Emma’s neck.
“And I like that you don’t use our relationship as a weapon against Mary Margaret.”
“I would never do that. This isn’t about her.”
Emma looks up at her in awe and runs her fingers along Regina’s jaw line, “And you don’t think you’ve changed.”
“Not as much as I wanted to,” she confesses as she nips at Emma’s earlobe.
“I don’t believe that the Evil Queen would have even given a second thought to the importance of our relationship. She would have happily stabbed Snow White in the heart with the knowledge of what her little girl lets you do to her.” Emma’s words are particularly apt because at present Regina is pushing two fingers into Snow White’s child and wondering when she can insert a third.
“The Evil Queen knew not to have feelings for people. I haven’t become better. I’ve become dumber.” She thrusts her fingers deeper and Emma gasps.
Emma kisses Regina soundly, “Love is not a weakness.”
“For me it always has been.”
“Did your mother teach you that?”
“I’d prefer it if we didn’t talk about my mother right now.”
“And yet you had no problem talking about mine.”
“Point taken,” Regina changes the angle of her hand and Emma’s hips buck up to meet her.
“Love isn’t a weakness though. It’s a strength. I think it’s why she couldn’t take my heart.” Regina leaves her fingers where they are but she stills their movements.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t mention her again. Please just don’t stop,” Emma begs.
“I thought you didn’t believe it was about love.”
“I said I didn’t believe it was about me being the saviour or who gave birth to me. I never said I didn’t think it was about love.”
“What do you mean?” Regina asks and then holds her breath.
“I didn’t have a heart for her to take. It’s already gone.”
She needs more air because her head feels light, “I hope that doesn’t mean that you think life destroyed your heart.”
“It did a bit. It’s not in the best condition but as battered as it is, it’s yours.”
Regina kisses Emma’s chest, “Do you really think that’s why it didn’t work?”
“It’s not like I’m an expert at any of this but I know how I feel when I’m with you. I know what I felt when I touched you and the hat spun and maybe I’m crazy but I feel that same power now.”
She is not about to prattle on about True Love, she will not turn herself into a fawning fool like Snow and Charming, but she can’t deny that she feels the power moving between them. To be honest it frightens her. Touching Emma is intoxicating, it always has been, but the addition of magic is unwelcome. It’s pleasant, it’s more than pleasant, it’s amazing. She feels her orgasms will be quite literally mind blowing. What it’s not is safe. She knows how susceptible she is to magic’s pull, she doesn’t want that corrupting what she has with Emma. It was the one thing that was hers. The one thing that her past decisions hadn’t polluted.
Now is not the time to think about things that can’t be changed. Now is the time to take advantage of the fact that they are together. She kisses a path between Emma’s breasts, conscious with every touch of the heart that is housed beneath the skin, and resumes the movement of her fingers.
Emma lets out a sound which sounds like a prayer of thanks. Regina smiles and then licks her way to Emma’s bellybutton. She dips her tongue in and out and Emma squirms in protest. Emma pushes at Regina’s shoulders and complains, “It tickles.”
She feels a darkness well inside her at what she perceive to be a criticism and her body tenses. Emma somehow senses a change in her because she reaches down to stroke Regina’s hair and whispers, “It’s ok. I still love you.”
She can’t explain why that makes her feel better but it does. The darkness evaporates, there is no place for it here. She moves her attention away from Emma’s sensitive navel and places her tongue somewhere she feels it will be better appreciated. If Emma’s moan is anything to go by, Regina’s assessment of the situation was correct.
Regina circles her tongue and pushes another finger inside of Emma eliciting a deeper moan. Her movements are fast and hard and Emma offers a string of expletives as encouragement. She feels Emma’s hands land on her head and then pull firmly at her hair. Emma’s body is becoming uncoordinated but Emma’s walls grab rhythmically at Regina’s fingers. She swipes her tongue over Emma’s clitoris and then all of Emma shudders in unison.
She climbs back up the bed and watches Emma. Regina wants to touch her but her closed eyes and serene expression seem to belong to someone who is in her own world. Someone who should be left alone.
Regina is not sure how long she waits but eventually Emma gives her a sign that she has returned to reality. Emma stretches and then pulls Regina against her. “This is so much better than my dreams.”
“You dreamt about me?” she feels rather smug at the thought.
“Constantly but not very successfully. We never managed to have sex in my dreams.”
“That seems very remiss of you,” Regina rolls onto her side and strokes Emma’s hip.
“It wasn’t me. You wouldn’t have sex with me in my dreams.”
“What ever was wrong with me?” she asks absently as she traces patterns on Emma’s thigh.
“You were worried Cora was watching us. You said we were in danger, that she couldn’t know about us.”
Something shatters in Regina’s head and images of her dreams flood back to her. “I had the same dreams.”
Emma looks gleeful, “I thought we were communicating but then there was all the Henry stuff, that dream world was so different to ours that I thought ours couldn’t possibly be real. It was though wasn’t it? You were really there.”
She sits upright. “This is so much worse than I thought. We weren’t careful enough. You have to leave. You can’t be seen with me.”
“Regina you are being ridiculous. They were still just dreams. She may not even find a way to come here.”
“She will come,” she states firmly because it’s not a groundless fear. It’s a fact.
“I don’t know how to tell you this but I think your mother might have already believed that we were in a relationship before the dreams.”
“What gave her that idea?” the voice that issues from her isn’t her own. At least not a voice that she has used for some time. It’s the voice of the queen and she hates that her mother can bring that out in her.
Emma seems to notice the change in her because she moves further away on the bed before telling Regina, “I may have implied that we have a son together.”
There is only one course of action that can be taken. She can not decrease the risk to Henry, he will be a target no matter what, but she can try to minimise the risk to Emma. “She has to think that things have changed. We can’t be alone together. Not ever. We are going to need to stage some sort of dramatic argument. No one can think that there is anything but bad blood between us.” It saddens her to realise that for most people that won’t even be a stretch.
“You want us to break up?” Emma looks horrified.
“Of course not,” the thought alone makes her want to vomit.
“But I won’t be able to see you, or touch you, or be alone with you.”
“Yes.”
“How is that not breaking up?”
“In my heart I’ll still be with you. There is no one else. I’d like to think you feel the same.”
“You were all I thought about when I was trapped in that ridiculous place. You were what kept me going. I can’t just turn around and give that up.”
She can see the hurt in Emma’s eyes but the pain now is nothing compared with what Cora would do to Emma. She may not want this course of action but it is the only one that they can take. “You will do this for me.”
“Why would I ever do that?”
“Because I love you.”
Emma looks like she has just been slapped. “That is so unfair. You’ve never said it before and now you use it against me.”
“Because she will use it against me. She will destroy you like she destroyed Daniel.”
At the mention of the boy Emma goes pale, “I think I saw him. I think your mother showed him to me in my dreams. You looked happy with him.”
“I was happy,” she admits.
“Happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Hey,” she traces her fingers over Emma’s face. “You make me happy. I wish you understood that. I wish you knew how much I love you.”
“How can you say that when you are willing to give me up?”
“Because my mother killed Daniel and I don’t want her to kill you too,” she blinks away the tears that have formed in her eyes.
“Oh baby,” Emma peppers her face with kisses. “We will find a way to make everything ok.”
“I really hope so because it has taken me so long to find you and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I won’t let that happen. I promise we will find a way to stop her.”
“I hope you’re right but until we do everyone, and I do mean everyone, has to think that you hate me.”
“I hate this.”
“I do too but now you have to go before I do something stupid like letting you stay over.”
They turn away from one another and redress in silence. They both seem aware that looking or talking would led to touching and are careful not to make that mistake. This doesn’t need to be any harder than it already is.
The walk downstairs is sombre and in stark contrast to the trip to the bedroom. They both hesitate when they reach the door. They stand still, staring at one another, wanting to draw the moment out. They know they may not have another one for a long time.
Regina breaks the spell by unlocking the door. Emma makes it easier on both of them by going through it but just as Regina is about to close the door she turns around.
“Regina,” Emma looks at her with imploring eyes, “will you at least still come to the party?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Emma’s face falls and Regina wants to take everything back. “At least come for Henry’s sake. He would want you there.”
The sheriff turns on her heel and heads to her car. Regina closes the door and bangs her head against the wood. She knows she will go to the party and she knows that she won’t do it for Henry. She will go because she won’t be able to stay way. Because she won’t be able to disappoint Emma.
A feeling of dread takes hold in her chest. She is terrified that she won’t be able to do what needs to be done to keep Emma safe. How can see convince Cora that Emma is not important to her when she can’t even convince herself not to go to one stupid little party?
Fandom - Once Upon a Time
Pairing - Emma/Regina
Rating - NC17
AN - Set during Queen of Hearts which features interaction between my babies. Actual interaction! It also follows my drabbles, Mirror Mirror, This Provincial Life, Viviane or Nimue, Dreams and Wishes, All the Better to…., Magic Keys, Curiouser and Curiouser, Snow Blind, Spinning Straw , Wooden Hearts , Poisoned , True Love and Other Curses, Spellbound, Over the Rainbow, Facades, Lost Girls, Monstrosities, Love and Lies, Something Wicked This Way Comes and Dreamscapes
Homecomings
Light has turned to dark, day to night, but she hasn’t moved from her position. She sits sentry, the waiting killing her. She doesn’t have many virtues and patience is certainly not amongst them. Her vigil is sad and lonely. Some would say it was pointless, that her place was made clear when she was left at Gold’s without a second thought, but she doesn’t believe that this will be for nothing. She is not someone who waits, she has had little in her life worth waiting for, but she is willing to wait for Emma.
She sits on the steps that separate the entranceway from the foyer and stares at the unlocked front door. This is a level to which she could never have imagined she would stoop but she finds she’s stuck. She can’t move because to do so would mean the possibility of missing precious seconds with Emma and she has missed far too much already.
She tries not to think of her actions as desperate. A desperate person would be waiting out on the street or would have bodily dragged Emma out of Granny’s. This display is pathetic but at least it’s not desperate.
The wait feels endless but everything ends eventually. She hears the sound of someone trying to make their way quietly up her path. Trying but failing. Emma’s footfalls are heavy and it’s clear to Regina that she is moving quickly. That fact almost makes Regina forgive her for the wait.
Emma knocks on the door but Regina doesn’t respond. She neither moves nor makes a sound. Regina expected that Emma would continue to pound on her door, she was looking forward to a crescendo in sound and possibly some hollering but Emma proves they are a little too much in synch by pushing the door open.
If Emma thinks anything of Regina sitting so close and yet failing to make her presence known she doesn’t bother to mention it. She falls to her knees in front of Regina and says, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think they’d ever go to bed.”
Regina had expected Emma to kiss her but that doesn’t happen, instead Emma grabs a clump of Regina’s hair and pulls on it tightly. The sheriff sits in silence and looks deeply into Regina’s eyes. Regina feels like she’s drowning and she reaches out to stroke Emma’s face, it’s not a conventional life preserver but for Regina it’s an extremely effective one.
Emma turns her head and places a kiss on Regina’s palm. “I can’t believe you are really here,” Emma whispers.
“Well you certainly took your time,” she complains.
Emma takes Regina’s head between her hands, “From the moment I got sucked into that wasteland you called a world I’ve been trying to get back to you.”
Her heart soars at those words but she keeps her voice cool and even, “And yet you wasted precious time going off for a celebratory meal.”
“I honestly thought you would come,” Emma looks like a wounded child.
“I wasn’t invited.”
“I didn’t realise that you needed to be.”
“Nobody wanted me there,” it annoys Regina that she sounds petulant because it’s very much the truth.
“I wanted you there,” Emma insists. “I don’t ever want to be apart from you again.” She pushes Regina back onto the floor and crawls up the stairs to lie on top of her.
There is so much that Regina wants to say but right now words feel unnecessarily cumbersome. Her body can talk for her. It is screaming with need and now that Emma’s weight is on top of her that need is impossible to ignore. She claims Emma’s lips and fully intends to claim every inch of her body.
Emma allows the kiss but when Regina’s hands begin to roam Emma takes them and pins them above Regina’s head. “I want to touch you,” Regina protests.
“Not just yet,” Emma tells her and then proceeds to attack the skin of Regina’s neck with her lips and teeth.
Regina’s fingers twitch, they appear to be unable to understand that they are currently restrained and they seek blindly for contact with Emma’s skin. Emma gives her a stern look as takes her hands away for Regina’s wrists. “Don’t you move,” she instructs.
Active thought is required for Regina to keep her arms on the floor. She curses Emma, metaphorically, as Emma slowly trails her fingers down Regina’s arms. Regina is grateful that she had the foresight to remove her jacket but laments the fact that she didn’t change out of her shirt as she longs for the Emma to be touching her skin.
Emma unbuttons Regina’s shirt but to Regina the process seems painstakingly slow. Several times Regina’s arms move towards Emma of their own accord and she has to remind herself to put them back down. Things become a little easier when Emma finally parts Regina’s shirt and simultaneously pushes her thigh between Regina’s legs. Her arms become too heavy to lift and her head falls to the side as Emma captures one of Regina’s nipples and grinds a thigh against her.
She shouldn’t have been angry with Emma for dragging things out earlier because it’s becoming very apparent that this is going to end all too soon. Emma’s movements are pushing the seam of Regina’s pants against her aching core and she can feel the pressure building.
Regina thrusts her hips against Emma as Emma moves her attention to Regina’s other nipple. The friction between her legs is becoming unbearable and she breaks Emma’s rules by grabbing the blonde’s ass and pulling it firmly towards her. Emma bites down on Regina’s nipple and Regina falls over the edge.
When she climbs her way back up to reality Emma is looking down at her and stroking her hair. “I would be mad at you for moving but you are so beautiful when you are out of control.”
“Thank you dear,” she demurs.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“Oh trust me, I really do,” Regina says, “but now it’s your turn.”
She pushes on Emma’s shoulder and tries to reverse their positions but Emma resists. “No, not here. Not like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to take this upstairs.”
“But it was ok for you to take me on the floor?” she can feel her anger rising inside of her.
“I couldn’t wait,” Emma confesses.
Regina’s anger instantly evaporates, “Is that so?”
“I’d been separated from you for way too long. I couldn’t wait another second.”
“And neither can I,” Regina tells her as she again tries to push Emma onto her back.
“Regina, normally I would be happy for you to fuck me anywhere you want but I haven’t slept in a real bed in what feels like forever and I’d really like to be somewhere comfortable.”
“That world can lack certain creature comforts.”
“Probably not for you. You were a queen.”
“Not by choice.”
“Well that works out well because I didn’t choose to be a princess.”
“No I guess not.”
“I didn’t get to choose many things,” Emma says glumly and Regina senses that their evening has taken a turn.
“Me neither.”
“I feel like nothing I’ve ever done was really for me. Everything was mapped out before I was born. Even Henry. I was meant to be here at exactly this time and exactly this age. I was meant to break the curse by saving my son. I don’t feel like anything is mine.” Regina is surprised to see a tear fall down Emma’s cheek.
“I see,” is all she is able to say. Anything more and she thinks she may lose it.
“Everything but you,” Emma says and kisses her gently.
“Do you really think that?”
“Yes. Yes I do.” Regina sighs in relief and Emma smiles at her. “We were meant to meet.”
Suddenly she is feeling anxious again, “That sounds suspiciously like something that was mapped out.”
“Oh our meeting was definitely planned. I was meant to come here, I was meant to meet you, I was sent to break the curse.”
“None of that sounds comforting,” she says softly.
Emma reaches up and pushes Regina’s hair behind her ear, “Let me finish. All of that was meant to happen but this wasn’t,” she kisses Regina again. “I was not meant to fall in love with you. That, we did all on our own.”
“You think I love you?” she asks and can’t stop the smirk that plays at her lips.
“No,” Emma says. “I know you love me.”
“Aren’t we confident all of a sudden?” Regina mocks as she runs a finger down the centre of Emma’s chest.
“I have every right to be. We fucking made magic together.”
“We’ve always done that,” she could gag on her own sappiness.
Emma doesn’t seem to mind, in fact her face breaks into a huge smile. “Enough talking. Take me to bed. I don’t want to think I snuck out like a horny teenager for nothing.”
“It would be my pleasure.”
Emma pushes herself up onto her knees and Regina gets up. She moves around Emma and goes to lock the door.
“You’re locking this now?” Emma sounds amused.
“I am very safety conscious Sheriff Swan.”
“You didn’t seem so worried about it before.”
“I was a little preoccupied,” she admits as she returns to Emma. She takes the blonde’s hand and pulls her to her feet. As she leads Emma upstairs Emma has trouble keeping her free hand to herself. “Stop that,” she admonishes.
“You don’t like it?” Emma asks.
“I don’t like your chances of getting to a bed if you keep this up.”
Emma is positively chaste for the rest of the trip. Things change when they reach Regina’s bed and Emma removes her own clothes as if they are on fire. Regina feels a surge of affection for her as she carefully removes her own clothing. This way might be less erotic but it is better for Regina’s wardrobe. Emma has destroyed a number of expensive items by refusing to stop to undo buttons.
She crawls onto the bed and feels strangely vulnerable. It’s not as though she’s never been naked in front of Emma before but somehow this feels different. Maybe she is not the only one feeling that way because when Emma joins her on the bed she hesitates before touching her, “There’s something I need to ask you.”
Given Emma can’t meet her eye Regina is very worried what the question might be but she says, “Anything,” with a certainty that she does not feel.
“There’s this thing tomorrow….” Emma starts but trails off.
“You are going to have to be a little more specific dear.”
Emma takes a deep breath and Regina watches her shoulders rise and fall, “There’s this sort of party tomorrow night at Granny’s. It’s a welcome back thing. I think I might only be included as an afterthought but it’s my welcome back too and I want you there.”
The request eases some of the pain she felt when she was left standing at Gold’s. “Like as your date?” she asks wickedly.
Emma looks completely thrown, “I hadn’t thought about that. I just wanted you there. If you want to be my date you can.”
“It’s ok”, she runs her fingers over Emma’s breasts and smiles when Emma hisses in response. “I don’t think we are ready for that.”
“So you won’t come?” Emma sounds like Henry when he doesn’t get his way.
“I’ll come. I just won’t be your date, at least not officially.”
Emma smiles widely, “We’ll work up to officially.”
Regina squeezes Emma’s nipples and says, ‘That’s ok.” Truth be told going public with their relationship is something that terrifies her. People learning that she was in love did not exactly go well for her last time.
She removes her right hand from Emma’s nipple and lets her lips take its place. Emma wraps her arms around Regina and squeezes tightly. “Now that I have you back I’m never going to let you go again.”
Regina ceases her movement and looks Emma in the eye, “You may have to.”
“Never,” Emma insists.
“My mother is determined to come here and if she does it won’t be safe.” She closes her eyes and adds, “I will not be safe.”
“We’ll fight her together.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“It’s not a question of asking.”
“Emma,” she whispers and moves up so that she can capture her lips, “you have to promise me that if she ever comes you will let me go.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You can and you will,” Regina insists.
“You don’t get to make that decision for me. Stop acting like you know better than me.”
“When it comes to Cora I do know better than you.”
“I know enough,” Emma mutters.
“Oh Emma you can’t begin to imagine what she is capable of.”
Regina’s words are soft but somehow they seem to annoy Emma because Emma rolls away from her and flinches when Regina tries to touch her. “I don’t need to imagine. She stuck her hand in my chest and tried to rip my heart out.”
Regina’s own heart stops and she clutches desperately at Emma, flipping the other woman onto her back. Emma looks as though she wants to punch her in the face but she settles when Regina places her hand on her chest. Regina maps out the region of Emma’s heart and its presence both comforts and confuses her, “It’s still here.”
“Yep,” Emma agrees. “I said she tried to take it, I didn’t say she succeeded.”
“She can’t have tried very hard,” Regina muses as her fingers continue to trace the flesh in the centre of Emma’s chest.
“Her fucking arm went straight into my chest like it was nothing.”
Regina flattens her palm over Emma’s chest, “Then I don’t understand how it can still be here.”
“You don’t think I’m strong enough to withstand your mother?” Emma sounds insulted.
She removes her hand from Emma’s chest, lamenting the loss of the warmth, and wraps her arms around herself. “I wasn’t.”
Emma sits up and envelopes Regina in a hug, “I’m sorry.” Regina feels a kiss brush across her temple. “Sometimes I don’t think before I speak.”
“It’s ok,” Regina moves her hands up to Emma’s forearms and gives them a squeeze, “but I legitimately don’t understand how anyone could resist her.”
“I’m not sure that I did.”
“But you have your heart.” Regina felt that heart hammering beneath her fingers so she’s knows it’s safe but she also knows that’s impossible.
“She couldn’t take it.”
“What do you mean?” Regina asks.
“It wouldn’t leave my chest.”
Regina turns in the embrace and looks at Emma in wonder, “But how?”
“I really don’t know. Mary Margaret thinks it’s because of saviour magic and her true love with David.”
Regina delights in the fact that Emma still refers to Snow as Mary Margaret. “You don’t sound like you believe that.”
“I’m not sure I think all that much of the world that you come from,” Emma says with a shrug.
“We’ve already discussed that it lacks charms,” Regina admits, “but what does that have to do with it?”
“There is a lot of stuff invested in love in your world but I don’t think love there is all that it’s cracked up to be.”
“Is that so?” she asks, genuinely intrigued.
“Everyone keeps banging on about how I am the product of true love like that is some major deal but they are blind. I’m not anything special. I’m a pawn in Gold’s plans. I think I might have been born only to break your curse,” Emma pauses and tilts her head to the side, “but it’s not really your curse is it?”
“No, I don’t think it ever was,” she has known that for a long time. “What makes you say that?”
Emma reaches for Regina’s hand and laces their fingers together, “You are a pawn like me.”
Regina bristles at the statement but asks, “What?”
“Gold,” Emma states simply.
“You do know that’s not actually an answer, don’t you dear?”
“I think it answers everything but I don’t want it to be true.”
“Are you asking me if Gold made the curse?”
“I don’t need to ask. I know he did it. You may have placed the curse and you may have believed that you wanted it but that curse was always for him.”
These thoughts echo Regina’s own but she never expected anyone to agree with her, “I did think it was for me. I don’t think I did it for the reasons Gold tried to feed me but I still thought it was what I wanted.”
“Why?”
“Because it had to be better than how things were.”
“Well indoor plumbing is definitely an improvement.” Emma smiles at her and she feels her own smile form in return.
“I didn’t want people to be miserable here. I didn’t want to have to be cruel. I actually wanted things to be different. I wanted to be different.” A bitter laugh escapes her throat. “I was stupid enough to think that I wasn’t too far gone to change. That there was still some good in me.”
“Of course there is good in you,” Emma insists.
“There can’t be. I could have killed you today.”
“Henry says you saved me,” Emma reminds her.
“I did but if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have needed saving.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I cast a barrier. It would have destroyed anyone who came through it.”
“Why?” Regina can see the hurt in Emma’s eyes and she feels deeply ashamed.
“Because Gold convinced me that it would be Cora coming through the portal.”
“And you didn’t think she could be beaten?”
“No,” she says honestly.
“So why take the barrier down? I know what it would mean for you if she came through.”
“Because if Cora came through it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“The hell it wouldn’t. Regina that bitch be crazy.”
“I know that.”
“So I ask again why take the barrier down? Henry kinda implied that it hurt you a lot to do it.”
“It did. I’m drained and weak but I didn’t have a choice.”
“You wanted your mother to come?” For the first time in a long time Emma looks at her as though she fears her.
“No. Not at all. If she had come through the portal it would have all been over for me.”
“Then you should have kept it shut.” Emma tightens her grip on the hand that is still joined with Regina’s. “I don’t ever want you to be in a position where that woman has the power to hurt you.”
“I couldn’t keep it shut. What if I was wrong? What if it wasn’t her coming through? I couldn’t live with myself if I thought there was a chance that I had killed you.” Regina takes her free hand and threads it into Emma’s hair.
“Henry says you hesitated though,” Emma accuses.
“It seemed so impossible. Also, Gold was there. He can never be allowed to think that I care for you.”
“Is this you telling me that we can not let anyone know about our relationship?”
“Emma there’s so many reasons why we can’t do that.”
“You don’t need to be ashamed of me, you know.” Emma’s eyes are steely. “I’m not just some ex-con turned sheriff anymore, I’m a princess.”
“None of that matters to me. It never did. Besides, in this town if anyone is going to be ashamed of someone you should be ashamed to be with me.”
“And yet I couldn’t be more proud. If you’d let me I’d tell everyone. I’d shout it from the rooftops.”
“That would not impress your parents at all.” In response to her words Emma kisses her. “What was that for?”
“Because you know how much it would hurt my parents to learn that we are together.”
“It would kill them,” and although she would never admit it, that fact makes Regina sad.
“And yet you don’t tell them.”
“This is none of their business,” her voice is forceful.
“Regina Mills don’t you see what this means?”
“I’m a very private person.”
“That’s not it at all.”
“I am a private person,” she argues, “you don’t know me at all.”
“I know that you have the daughter of Snow White, you sworn enemy, naked in your bed and dying for you to touch her,” Emma takes Regina’s hand and slides it down her body placing it over the site of some undeniable arousal, “and yet you don’t take advantage of that.”
“I’m certainly going to take advantage of this,” Regina says as she pushes Emma back onto the bed and lets her fingers explore wet folds.
Emma moans and then says, “Oh you had better take advantage of that. I want you to fuck me so hard that I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
“I do like a challenge,” Regina tells her and then kisses her way down the column of Emma’s neck.
“And I like that you don’t use our relationship as a weapon against Mary Margaret.”
“I would never do that. This isn’t about her.”
Emma looks up at her in awe and runs her fingers along Regina’s jaw line, “And you don’t think you’ve changed.”
“Not as much as I wanted to,” she confesses as she nips at Emma’s earlobe.
“I don’t believe that the Evil Queen would have even given a second thought to the importance of our relationship. She would have happily stabbed Snow White in the heart with the knowledge of what her little girl lets you do to her.” Emma’s words are particularly apt because at present Regina is pushing two fingers into Snow White’s child and wondering when she can insert a third.
“The Evil Queen knew not to have feelings for people. I haven’t become better. I’ve become dumber.” She thrusts her fingers deeper and Emma gasps.
Emma kisses Regina soundly, “Love is not a weakness.”
“For me it always has been.”
“Did your mother teach you that?”
“I’d prefer it if we didn’t talk about my mother right now.”
“And yet you had no problem talking about mine.”
“Point taken,” Regina changes the angle of her hand and Emma’s hips buck up to meet her.
“Love isn’t a weakness though. It’s a strength. I think it’s why she couldn’t take my heart.” Regina leaves her fingers where they are but she stills their movements.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t mention her again. Please just don’t stop,” Emma begs.
“I thought you didn’t believe it was about love.”
“I said I didn’t believe it was about me being the saviour or who gave birth to me. I never said I didn’t think it was about love.”
“What do you mean?” Regina asks and then holds her breath.
“I didn’t have a heart for her to take. It’s already gone.”
She needs more air because her head feels light, “I hope that doesn’t mean that you think life destroyed your heart.”
“It did a bit. It’s not in the best condition but as battered as it is, it’s yours.”
Regina kisses Emma’s chest, “Do you really think that’s why it didn’t work?”
“It’s not like I’m an expert at any of this but I know how I feel when I’m with you. I know what I felt when I touched you and the hat spun and maybe I’m crazy but I feel that same power now.”
She is not about to prattle on about True Love, she will not turn herself into a fawning fool like Snow and Charming, but she can’t deny that she feels the power moving between them. To be honest it frightens her. Touching Emma is intoxicating, it always has been, but the addition of magic is unwelcome. It’s pleasant, it’s more than pleasant, it’s amazing. She feels her orgasms will be quite literally mind blowing. What it’s not is safe. She knows how susceptible she is to magic’s pull, she doesn’t want that corrupting what she has with Emma. It was the one thing that was hers. The one thing that her past decisions hadn’t polluted.
Now is not the time to think about things that can’t be changed. Now is the time to take advantage of the fact that they are together. She kisses a path between Emma’s breasts, conscious with every touch of the heart that is housed beneath the skin, and resumes the movement of her fingers.
Emma lets out a sound which sounds like a prayer of thanks. Regina smiles and then licks her way to Emma’s bellybutton. She dips her tongue in and out and Emma squirms in protest. Emma pushes at Regina’s shoulders and complains, “It tickles.”
She feels a darkness well inside her at what she perceive to be a criticism and her body tenses. Emma somehow senses a change in her because she reaches down to stroke Regina’s hair and whispers, “It’s ok. I still love you.”
She can’t explain why that makes her feel better but it does. The darkness evaporates, there is no place for it here. She moves her attention away from Emma’s sensitive navel and places her tongue somewhere she feels it will be better appreciated. If Emma’s moan is anything to go by, Regina’s assessment of the situation was correct.
Regina circles her tongue and pushes another finger inside of Emma eliciting a deeper moan. Her movements are fast and hard and Emma offers a string of expletives as encouragement. She feels Emma’s hands land on her head and then pull firmly at her hair. Emma’s body is becoming uncoordinated but Emma’s walls grab rhythmically at Regina’s fingers. She swipes her tongue over Emma’s clitoris and then all of Emma shudders in unison.
She climbs back up the bed and watches Emma. Regina wants to touch her but her closed eyes and serene expression seem to belong to someone who is in her own world. Someone who should be left alone.
Regina is not sure how long she waits but eventually Emma gives her a sign that she has returned to reality. Emma stretches and then pulls Regina against her. “This is so much better than my dreams.”
“You dreamt about me?” she feels rather smug at the thought.
“Constantly but not very successfully. We never managed to have sex in my dreams.”
“That seems very remiss of you,” Regina rolls onto her side and strokes Emma’s hip.
“It wasn’t me. You wouldn’t have sex with me in my dreams.”
“What ever was wrong with me?” she asks absently as she traces patterns on Emma’s thigh.
“You were worried Cora was watching us. You said we were in danger, that she couldn’t know about us.”
Something shatters in Regina’s head and images of her dreams flood back to her. “I had the same dreams.”
Emma looks gleeful, “I thought we were communicating but then there was all the Henry stuff, that dream world was so different to ours that I thought ours couldn’t possibly be real. It was though wasn’t it? You were really there.”
She sits upright. “This is so much worse than I thought. We weren’t careful enough. You have to leave. You can’t be seen with me.”
“Regina you are being ridiculous. They were still just dreams. She may not even find a way to come here.”
“She will come,” she states firmly because it’s not a groundless fear. It’s a fact.
“I don’t know how to tell you this but I think your mother might have already believed that we were in a relationship before the dreams.”
“What gave her that idea?” the voice that issues from her isn’t her own. At least not a voice that she has used for some time. It’s the voice of the queen and she hates that her mother can bring that out in her.
Emma seems to notice the change in her because she moves further away on the bed before telling Regina, “I may have implied that we have a son together.”
There is only one course of action that can be taken. She can not decrease the risk to Henry, he will be a target no matter what, but she can try to minimise the risk to Emma. “She has to think that things have changed. We can’t be alone together. Not ever. We are going to need to stage some sort of dramatic argument. No one can think that there is anything but bad blood between us.” It saddens her to realise that for most people that won’t even be a stretch.
“You want us to break up?” Emma looks horrified.
“Of course not,” the thought alone makes her want to vomit.
“But I won’t be able to see you, or touch you, or be alone with you.”
“Yes.”
“How is that not breaking up?”
“In my heart I’ll still be with you. There is no one else. I’d like to think you feel the same.”
“You were all I thought about when I was trapped in that ridiculous place. You were what kept me going. I can’t just turn around and give that up.”
She can see the hurt in Emma’s eyes but the pain now is nothing compared with what Cora would do to Emma. She may not want this course of action but it is the only one that they can take. “You will do this for me.”
“Why would I ever do that?”
“Because I love you.”
Emma looks like she has just been slapped. “That is so unfair. You’ve never said it before and now you use it against me.”
“Because she will use it against me. She will destroy you like she destroyed Daniel.”
At the mention of the boy Emma goes pale, “I think I saw him. I think your mother showed him to me in my dreams. You looked happy with him.”
“I was happy,” she admits.
“Happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Hey,” she traces her fingers over Emma’s face. “You make me happy. I wish you understood that. I wish you knew how much I love you.”
“How can you say that when you are willing to give me up?”
“Because my mother killed Daniel and I don’t want her to kill you too,” she blinks away the tears that have formed in her eyes.
“Oh baby,” Emma peppers her face with kisses. “We will find a way to make everything ok.”
“I really hope so because it has taken me so long to find you and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I won’t let that happen. I promise we will find a way to stop her.”
“I hope you’re right but until we do everyone, and I do mean everyone, has to think that you hate me.”
“I hate this.”
“I do too but now you have to go before I do something stupid like letting you stay over.”
They turn away from one another and redress in silence. They both seem aware that looking or talking would led to touching and are careful not to make that mistake. This doesn’t need to be any harder than it already is.
The walk downstairs is sombre and in stark contrast to the trip to the bedroom. They both hesitate when they reach the door. They stand still, staring at one another, wanting to draw the moment out. They know they may not have another one for a long time.
Regina breaks the spell by unlocking the door. Emma makes it easier on both of them by going through it but just as Regina is about to close the door she turns around.
“Regina,” Emma looks at her with imploring eyes, “will you at least still come to the party?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Emma’s face falls and Regina wants to take everything back. “At least come for Henry’s sake. He would want you there.”
The sheriff turns on her heel and heads to her car. Regina closes the door and bangs her head against the wood. She knows she will go to the party and she knows that she won’t do it for Henry. She will go because she won’t be able to stay way. Because she won’t be able to disappoint Emma.
A feeling of dread takes hold in her chest. She is terrified that she won’t be able to do what needs to be done to keep Emma safe. How can see convince Cora that Emma is not important to her when she can’t even convince herself not to go to one stupid little party?