Alienware

[faelynleaf]

It's the fifth week of production, and my Alienware appears to have gone back in time! Where it was phase six just last night, it is now five

Comments

But but but

[anonymous]

There are reasons why Alienware laptops take so much time to create.

For one thing, they have to carefully hand-craft all of the parts out of the bones of endangered animals.

The solid-diamond faceplate is also problematic- have you ever seen a diamond large enough to be cut into a laptop's faceplate? Cutting those big suckers isn't easy, either.

And finally, the Infinite Power Engine can really only be bought with a human soul, and finding a refugee with a poor understanding of English to sign a contract, while easy, requires at least a little bit of careful maneouvring.

Re: But but but

[faelynleaf]

You forgot the orphans' tears they use in place of regular LCD crystals. Only the best quality orphans' tears go into the production of an Alienware, and harvesting those takes awhile. You can't just go up to any kid and tease them with a pony and a real family -- no, these children have to be specially selected by Alienware's top technicians.

At any rate, the tears were collected, the faceplate and chassis drilled out, and enough human souls were harvested. I'm getting my laptop on the third!

Re: But but but

[anonymous]

Yeah, yeah, I know how to harvest high-grade orphan tears. They have a million uses.

The trick is, they can't be pain tears- those are easy, but of low quality. They have to be genuine sorrow tears.

LSD and you: a fable

[anonymous]

LSD is a wonderous thing you know. Warps perception of time/space, bends all of reality to what you see and what you think you think...wonderous and mythical in it's power. In the end your life is as is. The same old, same old. At least you have an Alienware.

Lord Matokron