in other news...

[fadedsecrets]

I'm feeling a little better today. I think the shock of finding out I was pregnant, mixed with all the stress we've been dealing with lately, has been kind of taking a toll on me. It's not that I don't want this child, it's just that maybe I'm not as cool and collected about it as I thought I was. I have been panicking, and not just about the

Comments

[glimmeringhope]

Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way. It's normal to feel like you didn't visit as often as you should have and all, but please don't beat yourself up over it. I felt that way and for the last 13 years of my grandparents lives I lived across the street and was over there at least every other day (usually at least once a day). Hopefully you can find comfort in the memories you have. As Jessica said, you'll be able to see him again one day.

[iguthrie]

I'm so sorry, Ashley. Hugs to you and my prayers are for your family.

[thecatsmeow77]

Oh I'm really sorry. :( I sounds like you have a lot of amazing memories of him and even when he passes know that he will never be far from you.

I'll be thinking of you and your family during this time. :(

[fadedsecrets]

yeah, I have lots of good memories. I still kind of regret not getting that letter to him, but even when I wrote it he may not have been able to comprehend it anyway. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I wrote a lot about the good memories of him that I had, and how he has taught me so much...
thanks :)

[xopink_heartsox]

oh wow. i can only imgine how you feel. especially being told it would be "best" not to go and that i think was really messed up. you could've at least gone to say your good byes and things. i really wish i got that chance before my dad passed in jan.
thats really messed up that your work would yell at you for sitting down when you were pregnant with reagan. i just dont understand people sometimes.
The morning sickness has kinda gone for me. but i still feel sick sometimes. hopefully you wont have to deal with it much longer. hopfully it will go by really quick. *hugs* i ll be thinking about you.

[fadedsecrets]

well, I understand her point. I mean, he's basically drugged to the point where he's asleep and won't wake up. So I don't get to say official goodbyes, because he won't be awake while we're there. We'd just be in the way, and cause more confusion because of Reagan. I knew last time we went that he wasn't going to be much longer, so we spent lots of time with him and I talked to him in his room alone for a good 10 minutes or so. So I kind of got my goodbyes in then.

They always acted a little annoyed with me at work when I said I really needed to sit down, but the morning sickness was 100x worse than it is now. I understood that sitting with customers coming in wasn't right, but during slow times I had to ask permission and then I got dirty looks even if I was just resting for 5 minutes. It wasnt always terrible, but when you're pregnant and sick, it feels so much worse I think.

anyway, thanks :)

[xopink_heartsox]

The morning sickness wasn't at all as bad this time then it was with Savannah either. I was sick ALL day and night with her. This one not as much. THANK GOODNESS! haha. Are you hoping for a little boy this time? or another girl?
I really dont know what I want yet and i am in my 13th week. John really thinks this one is a boy though. He was right about Savannah. A friend of mine had her baby yesterday. It was supposed to be a Girl...and HE came out a boy! wow. i sure hope that doesn't happen to me haha.

[mand_a_lion]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't feel any guilt. Your grandfather knows you love him and doesn't need a spate of visits to assure him of it. I'm glad he got to know Reagan and I'm sure he'll keep watching out for her. I still remember that awesome picture you took of their hands. It touched me so much.