Fic: Trials Unending (13-15/22)
Title: Trials Unending
Author: Faceted Mind
Summary: After his return from Antarctica, Remy's trials are far from over.
For awesome visit:
groups.yahoo.com/group/logan_remy
http://www.squidge.org/~peja/cgi-bin/categories.php?catid=19&parentcatid=19
http://logan-remy.50megs.com/slash_stories_2.htm
Warnings: Slash, mention of child abuse and rape. Occasional medical/pseudoscientific info-blasts which despite researching may or may not be accurate; forgive me anyone who reads and shakes their heads in annoyance, I am no medic. Oh, and a little British spelling, which I'm sure you can forgive me for.
Notes: This is AU for how Remy gets back to the Mansion and in what state. No glowy green ladies here. A variety of Betas have worked on this fic; Cruel Illusion, Ross and "Point me at the coffee" as far as I remember, but I have done work on it since so all mistakes are my own. This was written in 2005/6, so I blame my youth for all rose-tinted-ness, the sequel (2008/9) is more cynical, jaded and tortuous. I've obviously hit my writing's teen-aged years.
Pairing: Future Logan/Remy, but not just yet ;)
Master Post . Chapters 1-3 . Chapters 4-6 . Chapters 7-9 . Chapters 10-12 . Chapters 13-15 . Chapters 16-18 . Chapters 19-22 . An End In Sight
-,., -
Chapter 13
-,., -
"Remy, may I see your hands? I fear they may have been further damaged by your long lassitude." A gentle hand rested on his shoulder as a reminder of another's presence before trailing down his arm to his hand - allowing Remy to follow his movements with his body as he couldn't with his eyes. Taking the slender hand in his much larger palm, Hank looked it over. Gently pressing down on the fingers to curl them into a fist he watched Remy go white, though he showed no other reaction to a movement that obviously and unsurprisingly pained him. "Hmm." Hank intoned. "As I thought, the muscles have contracted once again. I will start a passive physiotherapy course with you until you are ready to rejoin us."
-,., -
"Forgive me, my brother. Hank tells me it is not our fault that we turned against you, yet I fear that is not completely true. We should have fought harder against Rogue's return. Fought harder against her leaving with out answering for her crimes. Always I find myself here, begging your forgiveness, and always you refuse to let me take the blame. Today you cannot refuse me. Forgive me, my brother. Please."
-,., -
"I find myself wondering if Sinister was the one who taught you the use of your powers. You say he offered you control over your charging powers, but you have not told us how. I dare say it is unlikely you will bring yourself to talk to us about such things, you have already been forced to say far too much in your own mind on the matter. Regardless, I am curious how much different your life might have been had we found you just a little earlier. What things might not have come to pass. We can blame you for nothing, if we might have been able to change things ourselves."
-,., -
"I have to admit I am most distressed." Hank's voice was low and bitter. "Sometimes I wonder how these people pass their medical degrees. If they plan to go out into the world and make things worse than they already are… they shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine!" A deep sigh as Hank reigned back in his emotions. The creak of a chair as he took a seat at Remy's side. "Forgive me. I haven't explained. A helicopter flying over the North Sea spotted what they thought to be a small rowing boat far out to sea. Worried, they called in the rescue services and were told to get closer and see if the passenger needed any help. There was a doctor on board the helicopter, just by chance, who realised the truth of the matter. They had found Warren, unconscious in the North Sea." The sudden double beep of Hank's pager, only slightly muffled by his lab coat pocket. He didn't apologise as he dashed from the room, and Remy didn't complain.
-,., -
"Anyway." Hank sounded tired as he returned, later. "Where was I? You are becoming quite the reliable sounding post, my Acadian friend, I hope you understand this. I am coming to trust your advice quite implicitly." He laughed, voice hoarse with tiredness. "Somehow Warren managed to hold enough air in his feathers to keep afloat, but his rescuers seemed determined to make things worse for him. They pulled him out upright - head first. He is lucky he has been well trained and has a very healthy heart else he would not be here with us today. When retrieving a person from the water with a helicopter - and this is the lowest level of medical instruction - they must always be pulled out horizontal, or they suffer huge heart strain at the pressure change." A sigh. "He is pulling through. Goodness knows where Rogue is now."
-,., -
"Gambit." A clearing of the throat. Almost apologetic. "Remy." An annoyed expulsion of air. "It's… Scott. I've been sent by your cluster of female admirers on the team - my wife included - to offer my…" A brief laugh, almost startled. "My apologies for my behaviour. Jean suggests it's because I'm constantly linked to her that I was susceptible to empathic attack by Rogue. She also says I have a subconscious weight of guilt, but then I don't see how talking to you while you're unconscious will help with that…" This under his breath, not really directed to anyone. "Still, this confrontation with Rogue has shown us all what we were missing, and explained one or two things. Now I would very much like you to get up and please get your sister out of my house. She's making a nuisance of herself."
-,., -
"Bobby took Betsy out for ice-cream today." Hank's warm voice. "She has been a little institutionalised since Warren's illness. She blames herself a little, I think." There was a sloshing noise of liquid in a bag as Hank changed the IV providing Remy with the food to keep him alive as he lay there. "I think Bobby enjoyed the ice-cream a little too much, though. Sometimes I wonder whether that boy will ever grow up. I think Betsy was quite embarrassed to be seen with him, and I do not blame her for that. And only yesterday I was thinking how much he had grown up, I should have know better!" Bandages loosening over his collarbone and a sharp pain as Hank felt over a wound. "This is definitely the most severe injury, you could have done worse. The laceration touched the bone, but is healing up quite well." The bandages re-tightened. A soft sigh. "I really had hoped to see you out of this before now."
-,., -
Ororo humming some distant tune, the sounds of movement around the lab. "Morning, brother. The sun is shining today, and everyone is too busy to enjoy it." A quiet sigh. "There is a short mission today, I am just packing up supplies. We will be back before you know it."
-,., -
A distant long whining beep… no stop to it. Running feet, shouting voices. The noise goes quiet as the door is shut. Hank doesn't visit that day.
-,., -
A week passed in much the same way, Hank always finding some quiet monologue as he went about his business in the lab.
One morning Hank came down into the peaceful silence of the lab to find it empty. With a cheerful grin he went about his business. If Remy needed him, he would call.
-,., -
Chapter 14
-,., -
"Logan? Are you alright?" Jean asked, seeing him zone out at the kitchen table. Ororo looked up from the newspaper, alert and on her guard. When Wolverine zoned out, people worried.
"Remy's up." He answered absently. Putting his fork down, he headed out into the hall. Remy was sat at the bottom of the stairs, breathing heavily with his head in his hands. Ororo rushed to his side and Logan flinched along with Remy - surprise panic fear - as she tried to help him up. Perhaps a little roughly - he did not like being afraid - Logan pulled Ororo away. She stumbled backwards and Jean caught her, pulling her away a little to give Logan room.
"Give the kid some room, 'Ro." He muttered without looking back at them, kneeling in front of Remy but not touching. "Hey Remy. Ya hear me?" He asked. A vague nod. "Can ya look at me?" His head lifted from his hands and a broad white bandage reminded Logan what a stupid question that was.
"'Fraid… 'fraid not, Wolvie." Deep breathy answer, but the sound of his voice and the heavy tint of humour that flowed into his mind was enough for Logan.
"Sorry, dumb question. Yer lookin' a bit off, ya wanna go back down ta see Hank?" The fear that raced through his mind was not at all expected and he fought to keep from popping his claws. Fight or run, fight or run… can't fight… can't run… what then? "OK, OK, not Hank." He soothed, gripping Remy's upper arm in an attempt to calm him.
"Sorry." A soft whisper, his mind filled with remorse.
"It's alright, really. Just take some deep breaths and we'll get ya up to your room. Get ya into some space you're comfortable with."
"No…" A whisper, not aimed at Logan but at himself. "No, not… I can't…" Standing, pushing Logan away with one hand pressed to his own forehead, backing away and stumbling as his feet hit the stairs. Logan stayed where Remy had put him, glancing to Ororo and Jean to make sure they wouldn't move either.
"Remy, talk to us. What can we do?" Ororo beseeched him as he scrabbled up the stairs away from them.
"Stay away. God, please, stay away. I can'… control it. Can' shut it down."
"Come on kid, stay with us. Tell us what's goin' on."
"Remy hears y'… jus' don'…" Panicky, shallow breaths. Withdrawing into the third person like a security blanket. It's not *me* this is happening to, someone else, somewhere else. Not me. Never me.
"I'm stayin' right here. Not moving an inch." Logan soothed.
"What is it that you can't control, Remy?" Jean pushed gently.
"Dere isn' a name… de… de movemen'."
"The sense you have? The one that leaves you open." Logan realised immediately. The one that you don't use because you can't control it, he added mentally. Remy very rarely allowed himself to use that power out of the controlled environment of the danger room - where there was very little other kinetic activity to distract him. And he would only use it in practice with Logan, who he was less likely to hurt permanently.
"Yes! Open an' dangerous. Charged. Remy don'… Remy don' wanna hurt y'."
"This is *me*, Remy. Logan. You can't hurt me for long. You know I'm here, can you feel me?" He waved, slowly, to create an extra element of movement for Remy to lock on to.
"Remy… sees y'."
"OK. You stay right where you are, and everyone else is going to stay right where they are, and I'm going to come to you, alright?" Slow and precise words, emoting calm. Deep breaths.
"Oui." Almost a sigh. At that acknowledgement, Logan started moving painfully slowly towards Remy. If he could keep him focused and not let him get distracted there wouldn't be a problem. No problem at all.
Just as he thought he was there, Remy's head flicked up towards the living room door.
"Someone's…" Logan was close enough to hear Remy's heart step up a beat as he fought to rein in powers that were threatening to lash out. He froze.
"It's OK. It's alright. Ororo, ya wanna see who that is." His voice was level and calm, and Logan was quite proud of himself. "Remy? Focus on me, alright? Let Ororo get the door, let me get to you."
"Ou… Oui." The last few steps and he was sat beside Remy on the third step of the grand staircase. Logan forced himself not to react as Remy flinched away from his touch. "Sorry."
"Hey, it's OK. Everyone gets times like this."
"Everyone 'cept…" A steadying breath. "'Cept you an' ol' fearless, neh?"
"What, ya think I don't get times like this?"
"Y' got y' powers on a shorter leash. Learnt control long ago."
"Hey Cyke?" Remy tentatively sought out Scott and Ororo as they walked across the hall towards him, very slowly. "D'ya remember that time I almost stuck ya through?" Scott laughed, shortly.
"We all thought you'd gone feral, but it turned out you'd just got up on the wrong side of the bed."
"What about yerself, anythin' ya can think of?"
"What? Times when I've lost control of my powers? You have to be kidding, right?" He snorted, with less humour this time. "I have infinite control over my powers. It is unshakeable." The dry sarcasm almost hid the pain in those words.
"The hole in the boathouse wall is probably the best example." Jean answered for him. "We had fun that night."
"Ahem." Scott intoned.
"At least it didn't take us long to realise that intimate relations without the goggles was a bad idea." Jean added. Scott's obvious embarrassment was enough to bring a touch of a smile to Remy's lips.
"Remy, you're up!" Remy flinched, jumping at the sudden sound. Logan was sure he was about to have a heart attack as Scott ducked and Jean and Ororo followed him to the ground, leaving Bobby standing, confused and baffled, on the other side of the room. When there was no sudden explosions, Scott looked up at Remy and Logan still sat on the stairs. The tension in Logan's body was all that betrayed his apprehension, but Remy was just looking confused.
"Wolvie?" He asked.
"Nothing happened, kid. Maybe ya got more control than ya give yerself credit for?"
"It's… I feel more stable dan I should. Per'aps… Per'aps I'm jus' too tired fo' charges?"
"Either way, let's get yer upstairs before we test the theory out."
-,., -
Quite apprehensively, Remy took the card that Logan placed in his hand. The charge flared quickly into life and tapered out as Remy pulled the energy back into himself. He waited for the flare of energy to fade from his mind, letting his new opened state view the world around him.
He was sat on the bed and an open window behind closed curtains was letting in enough breeze to shift the curtains slightly, the draught causing a soft eddy of movement through his room.
Logan was sat across from him, in the chair that normally sat under his desk. He was sitting too still to see the whole of him, but steady breathing, a heartbeat and the blinking of his eyes were all details that he could pick out. The clock's second hand moved slowly around the face. A butterfly brushed against the back of his curtain before finding its way back outside.
He fought to shut it all out enough to think about the words that he was trying to find to describe it. Too much information. He couldn't process it all. Logan shifted at the same time as a bird moved past his window and he was lost in trying to follow both. He pushed a hand against his forehead as he tried to hold it together.
"Y'all right?" So much in that simple question. Lips, face, body, breath.
"It's too much."
"Yer had it together out there. Don't lose it now."
"I don' know…"
"Distance yerself from it. Draw back." It seemed so simple when he put it like that. Remy frowned, trying *not* to see the tiny detail that was just offering itself up for examination. Seeing the broader picture. Like a painting made up of tiny pixels, nothing when seen from too close. Like a blind man learning how to see the world, when all he really wanted to look at was the contours of his lover's face. Remy smiled at that comparison.
"Better?"
"I don' know if dere's more detail dan befo', or if I jus' never let m'sel' see dis much wit'out losin' control."
"But ya got control now?" Remy frowned, searching.
"It's like… th' chargin' power ain' connected anymore." He shrugged.
"Ya think Rogue did this to ya?"
"If she did…" He shrugged. "She did me a favour."
"What… *did* she do to ya? We don't know enough about yer powers ta work out anythin' more than she had them, and she was usin' them." Remy paled a little.
"What… what happened t' Rogue?"
"We sent her away. It didn't take much ta break away from her when I knew ya weren't… Ya know." He shrugged emphatically. Remy saw. "She messed up Jean and Betsy too, but they're…"
"I know. I… heard." Logan sat up a little straighter, curious.
"Ya were listenin' ta all that crap? I though Hank said ya weren't conscious."
"I didn'… understand. Spent las' night processin' it all. Couldn' react ta anyt'in'…" He shuddered. "T'ink Rogue jus' overloaded m' emotions. Shoved all sorts of t'ings in th' wrong places. I had t'… sort it out. Somehow." He frowned, then shrugged with a wry smile. "Dat's what it felt like, anyways."
"How's ya head feel now?"
"Strange." He smiled softly. "I'll get over bein' open like dis eventually if it means I can keep th' extra sense."
There was a knock at the door, and Remy didn't jump this time.
"Come in, Henri." He greeted. The doctor stepped inside. Remy turned to face Hank, a deep frown in place. "Oh, dis is gonna be fun." He half-whispered. Remy was aware of a morass of movement as Hank took a step into the room. Every element of his fur caught his attention and threw it every which way as he moved, and his thick coat moved with him. He felt nauseous, vaguely aware that Hank was speaking and unable to concentrate on his words.
"Hank, stop, please!" He begged.
"Stop what…?"
"Moving. Stop moving." Logan clarified, at a loss as to why Remy was having such a problem.
"Mon Dieu… the fur." Remy slumped backwards on to his bed, clutching his head once more.
"His sense of movement has broken out, and he doesn't know how to control it." Logan explained as Hank froze in place.
"Isn't that…"
"The one that blows shit up, yeah. But so far nothing's gone bang. He thinks Rogue might have re-wired it accidentally." Hank absorbed this, trying not to nod reassuringly, or make any unnecessary movements.
"Well, as I said, Jean sent me, and I brought up a red filter for your windows. I thought it might allow you to change into your contact lenses without too much pain on your part." Remy nodded.
"Dat's clever." He smiled from where he lay on the bed. "Was hopin' y' wouldn' ask me t' come back t' y' lab to put dem back in. Y' have de only red lamp in th' mansion."
"I'll just…" Hank made a step towards the window with intent to place the filters, but Remy's groan stopped him. "I'll leave these with Logan." He finished. "Call me if you need me." He added, heading quickly for the door.
-,., -
Chapter 15
-,., -
Heading back to his lab and worrying that Remy now had yet another reason to avoid him, Hank walked the quiet corridors of the lower levels to stand at the door to the medilab. Warren was sat up on the bed, talking with Betsy as he ate his first solid meal in days, a newspaper not far away. Hank strode into the room, quickly taking in the readings on all the monitors. He nodded quickly, taking the chart and noting them all down before acknowledging either of his attentive audience with a smile.
"You're doing very well, Warren." He grinned, a bright flash of teeth. "I want you doing gentle exercise today, walking around the house. No rushing, no flying, don't leave the house. If you start to feel pressure around your chest, or any dizziness or nausea, I want you to come straight back here, and call me on the way down. Don't wait until you're here to tell me. Otherwise, you're free to go. I want you back at noon tomorrow so I can do a follow up." Hank silently blessed being able to stay in the same house as these people, so that he could release them from his lab long before any other doctor might be able to.
Watching Warren's slow progress out of his lab, Hank nodded to himself. Another customer well served. He chuckled to himself.
He had only just settled in his office when the phone on his desk rang, registering an internal call.
"Hey Hank?" Logan's voice. "Ya think yer could come back up here a second?"
-,., -
Remy was still sat on the bed, where he had been before, but the bandage was gone from around his head and the curtains were open, the big red filters were in place over the window, giving the room a deep red tint. Remy physically flinched as Hank walked through the door, but held still and looked up, trying to haze over the detail of Hank's fur.
Hank resisted the urge to gasp as Remy looked up, approaching quickly and forgetting about Remy's discomfort. With one hand on Remy's shoulder, he turned his chin towards the window so that he could take a better look at his eyes.
At first Hank had thought that his pupils had shrunk down to near nothing with the brightness of the red light, but now he could see that his eyes no longer held that deep red glow.
"My goodness." Remy smiled wryly at Hank's gasp.
"Yeah, that's what I said." Logan smirked. Remy had to snort at that.
"Well… I never."
"Dat's encouragin'. Hank 'ain' never'."
"Forgive me. I suspect this is linked to the sudden expansion of your kinesthetic powers."
"Y' have th' nicest names fo' what I am, Henri."
"I've just never seen mutant powers redistributed in this way. Though I have to admit I've never seen anyone put in this position before."
"So… dis is it den. No more chances fo' recovery?" Blank face, poker face. As if he didn't care either way.
"I wouldn't say that. Certainly not. This is simply your body adapting to the constraints placed upon it. We can no more judge how it might develop that I could have guessed that it might have happened in the first place. Have you tested whether or not you are still photosensitive?"
"I don'… th' bat'room has a window." Logan got the hint, and disappeared through the door, leaving Remy to realise that so long as there was nothing *moving* between him and another moving object, he could see it just as well. He watched Logan through the wall as he headed towards the window, opening the blinds. He looked back to where he knew the door was, trying to work out whether or not it was open.
It was becoming obvious that he could focus his attentions on one thing to high detail and shut out a lot of what else was going on around him, or just let himself be open to bulk details all around him. Neither involved actually turning his head in the right direction, though habit demanded it of him. He couldn't find the door, open or closed. He scowled, until he realised Logan was leaning out of the bathroom and looking at him expectantly. Which meant the door was open.
"Not'in'." He confirmed what Hank and Logan could already see. A deep weight settled in his stomach, and he felt Logan's wrench even as he heard his sigh. Hank could use all the pretty words he wanted, he knew what this meant for him.
"Ah well, this will save you the added problem of changing the lenses, at least." Hank suggested, his voice overly cheerful. Quietly excusing himself, Hank left Logan and Remy alone once more.
-,., -
"Bin tol' t' get some exercise Stormy." Remy grinned at his long-time friend as she settled beside him on the bed with a groan. "Bin a while since we sparred, hehn?"
"It has, Remy, but are you sure? You're only just out of bed." Remy flexed his fingers one at a time, wincing as damaged skin tightened across his knuckles. His 'Stormy' was one of the few people he would not hide his vulnerability from and he would expect the same openness from her, it was part of what made their relationship what it was.
"Gotta start somewhere." He answered eventually. Storm's grin shone through into her voice as she replied,
"Then there is nothing I would like more, Remy. And *please* stop calling me by that ridiculous name."
-,., -
Ororo left only long enough to retrieve her own bo staff from her room and to check with Hank to ask when she should force him to stop, knowing he would continue much beyond his own limits if allowed to. She loved him dearly, but sometimes he had to be watched to stop from hurting himself. She knew the Goddess had delivered her to him for a bigger reason than her own safety in her time of vulnerability. He needed protection, now more than ever. And she was more than willing to give it.
"Come then, my friend. Let us see if, even in this state, you are able to defeat me without effort as you used to."
"You've beaten me b'fo'." Remy replied, laughing as he attempted to sooth her ego. She took his hand as he held it out to her, wrapping it securely in the crook of her own elbow as they made their way out of the door, picking up the two wooden practice staffs from the doorway as they went.
"Maybe once or twice, but I have a distinct suspicion that it wasn't my own skill that allowed me to succeed on those occasions. I believe one of those was due to a broken wrist that you had 'forgotten' to inform me about." Remy had the good grace to look a little sheepish.
"Yeah, but…" Remy tensed and it took Ororo only a moment to discern the reason. Warren was stood at the end of the corridor they had been walking down, looking at them with a kind of distain in his eyes. She had no doubt Remy knew exactly what the man's emotions were and she could feel him shrinking back with every step she took forward.
"Stand tall, Remy. Stand tall." She murmured to him just before they came into ear-shot. Projecting her love with all her might, Ororo felt Remy's stance change, not confrontational, simply strong. She prayed Worthington would keep his mouth shut and not spoil that temporary strength that she had been able to lend him.
"Don't worry, LeBeau, girls love a vulnerable man." It was too much to ask really, she mused, flinching at the sound of the other man's voice. Some things even the Goddess had no control over. Remy's body language faltered, but he continued striding on in his long-legged gait. It became questionable who was leading whom. "Running LeBeau? Well now I know who hasn't been getting any lately... you should really be careful--" Ororo's arm slipped from Remy's and, uncertain, he stopped still, not wanting to stick around Warren longer than need-be, but not trusting his own knowledge of the building enough to walk on blindfold. Perhaps if he had been focused on his own position from his room… but he had been talking with Ororo, allowing her to distract him. Most of the other trained thieves wouldn't have had a problem in this situation, but because he had night vision, he couldn't help but use it.
Vertigo and panic began washing over him, one boosting the other until both were completely out of control and he was fighting the urge to curl up and hide from the darkness. The spinning of the cold blank walls around him stopped him from focusing on Ororo and Warren, not so far away. A far distant part of him was amused that he would have taken even Warren's presence just then to stabilise himself. A deep void opened around him, and he fought the unreasonable feeling that the floor was dropping away around him, leaving him on an island of solid ground around some great abyss.
-,., -
The feeling of Ororo's hand on his arm brought him back to himself.
"Remy?" The word was flooded with concern. He must look as bad as he felt. "Do you want to go back to your room?"
"Non, I'll be fine. What happen' t' th' birdbrain?" He asked, wanting to draw attention away from himself for a moment and genuinely curious as to where the weather goddess had disappeared to and why Warren's tirade had stopped so abruptly.
"He's taking a moment's rest. Though he may wake with a small headache." She sounded tremendously pleased with herself and not at all guilty.
"Y' knocked him out?"
"You see… my hand… it slipped." She claimed innocently. Not an ounce of guilt. Remy couldn't help but smile too. "Are you sure you're OK, Remy?" She asked, suddenly serious. "You're looking quite pale."
"Jus' a li'l dizzy. T'ought vertigo was fo' heights, no' fo' mansion corridors."
"Do you feel disorientated? Nauseous?" She pulled away and he almost moaned at the loss of the contact. "I'll get Hank…" She continued, oblivious. He caught her hand before she could step away.
"Stay." His voice cracked and he hated himself for it.
"Of course." And immediately she was back at his side, holding him, grounding him. Slowly the ground returned to its usual position and he brought his breathing back under control. "Better?" She asked as he sighed deeply. He nodded, not trusting his voice straight away. The earlier betrayal had left him wary. She took his arm again and began to walk back towards his room.
"Where'y' goin' Stormy? We' supposed t' be doin' some sparring."
"You don't expect me to believe that after that display you're still in a fit state to spar."
"Y' know me, a'ways up fo' more."
"You've just had a vertigo attack in the middle of the hallway, Remy."
"I've seen you get claustrophobia in th' middle o' a danger room sim. an' not call halt. All dat's differ'nt 'ere is… I'm no' scared o' small spaces." She heard the unspoken words as soon as he realised what he was about to say and changed them. She looked up at him, wishing she could meet his strange and alien eyes, see some truth in them.
"What are you afraid of my friend?" She asked softly.
"Bein' alone. In th' dark." His words were whispered. Barely there. As though the less they were spoken the less true they would become. Ororo looked on in wonder.
"But you are a thief, you live in darkness. And alone."
"Dis t'ief's eye's ain't normal t'ough. An' when th' only darkness y' see all y' life is th' bit b'hin' your eyelids… it become' a diff'rent place."
"I never knew…"
"Don' t'ink I did. Nev'r bin in true dark b'fo'." There was a hesitation in the sentence that made Ororo curious, but if Remy didn't want to say something then he wouldn't be convinced.
"Then… we shall simply have to ensure you are never alone."
"I can' ask y' to babysit me, 'Ro. Y' have ot'er t'ings t' do. I'm gonna be in Xavier's school…" He snorted. "His ot'er school, befo' long."
"What 'other things' do I have to do? There is no crisis looming, so missions will be rare and most will not need my expertise. The only time I am busy with anything other than meditation and the care of my plants is my danger room sessions, which seem to take place long before you awake each morning." She took a long breath. "Remy, I enjoy your company. Please do not deprive me of it under some unnecessary sense of independence." Remy chuckled.
"So now I'm 'deprivin' y' of m' company'."
"Are you sure you feel up to sparring. I will sit with you even if you choose not to go through with this." Her voice soft and low.
"Oui, Stormy, I'm sure."
"If you use that cursed nickname one more time, by the Goddess, I'll leave you here to find your own way back to your room." She was teasing and he knew it, but he couldn't help but tense a little at the threat.
"Ok, Ok, Ororo," he enunciated her name heavily, "Now lets go, befo' the bird brain wakes up an' tries t' accuse Remy o' hittin' him."
"He wouldn't dare. Think how badly it would reflect on him, to be knocked out by you even now." They laughed together and Ororo couldn't remember any sound she heard that lifted her spirits so.
Master Post . Chapters 1-3 . Chapters 4-6 . Chapters 7-9 . Chapters 10-12 . Chapters 13-15 . Chapters 16-18 . Chapters 19-22 . An End In Sight
Author: Faceted Mind
Summary: After his return from Antarctica, Remy's trials are far from over.
For awesome visit:
groups.yahoo.com/group/logan_remy
http://www.squidge.org/~peja/cgi-bin/categories.php?catid=19&parentcatid=19
http://logan-remy.50megs.com/slash_stories_2.htm
Warnings: Slash, mention of child abuse and rape. Occasional medical/pseudoscientific info-blasts which despite researching may or may not be accurate; forgive me anyone who reads and shakes their heads in annoyance, I am no medic. Oh, and a little British spelling, which I'm sure you can forgive me for.
Notes: This is AU for how Remy gets back to the Mansion and in what state. No glowy green ladies here. A variety of Betas have worked on this fic; Cruel Illusion, Ross and "Point me at the coffee" as far as I remember, but I have done work on it since so all mistakes are my own. This was written in 2005/6, so I blame my youth for all rose-tinted-ness, the sequel (2008/9) is more cynical, jaded and tortuous. I've obviously hit my writing's teen-aged years.
Pairing: Future Logan/Remy, but not just yet ;)
Master Post . Chapters 1-3 . Chapters 4-6 . Chapters 7-9 . Chapters 10-12 . Chapters 13-15 . Chapters 16-18 . Chapters 19-22 . An End In Sight
-,., -
Chapter 13
-,., -
"Remy, may I see your hands? I fear they may have been further damaged by your long lassitude." A gentle hand rested on his shoulder as a reminder of another's presence before trailing down his arm to his hand - allowing Remy to follow his movements with his body as he couldn't with his eyes. Taking the slender hand in his much larger palm, Hank looked it over. Gently pressing down on the fingers to curl them into a fist he watched Remy go white, though he showed no other reaction to a movement that obviously and unsurprisingly pained him. "Hmm." Hank intoned. "As I thought, the muscles have contracted once again. I will start a passive physiotherapy course with you until you are ready to rejoin us."
-,., -
"Forgive me, my brother. Hank tells me it is not our fault that we turned against you, yet I fear that is not completely true. We should have fought harder against Rogue's return. Fought harder against her leaving with out answering for her crimes. Always I find myself here, begging your forgiveness, and always you refuse to let me take the blame. Today you cannot refuse me. Forgive me, my brother. Please."
-,., -
"I find myself wondering if Sinister was the one who taught you the use of your powers. You say he offered you control over your charging powers, but you have not told us how. I dare say it is unlikely you will bring yourself to talk to us about such things, you have already been forced to say far too much in your own mind on the matter. Regardless, I am curious how much different your life might have been had we found you just a little earlier. What things might not have come to pass. We can blame you for nothing, if we might have been able to change things ourselves."
-,., -
"I have to admit I am most distressed." Hank's voice was low and bitter. "Sometimes I wonder how these people pass their medical degrees. If they plan to go out into the world and make things worse than they already are… they shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine!" A deep sigh as Hank reigned back in his emotions. The creak of a chair as he took a seat at Remy's side. "Forgive me. I haven't explained. A helicopter flying over the North Sea spotted what they thought to be a small rowing boat far out to sea. Worried, they called in the rescue services and were told to get closer and see if the passenger needed any help. There was a doctor on board the helicopter, just by chance, who realised the truth of the matter. They had found Warren, unconscious in the North Sea." The sudden double beep of Hank's pager, only slightly muffled by his lab coat pocket. He didn't apologise as he dashed from the room, and Remy didn't complain.
-,., -
"Anyway." Hank sounded tired as he returned, later. "Where was I? You are becoming quite the reliable sounding post, my Acadian friend, I hope you understand this. I am coming to trust your advice quite implicitly." He laughed, voice hoarse with tiredness. "Somehow Warren managed to hold enough air in his feathers to keep afloat, but his rescuers seemed determined to make things worse for him. They pulled him out upright - head first. He is lucky he has been well trained and has a very healthy heart else he would not be here with us today. When retrieving a person from the water with a helicopter - and this is the lowest level of medical instruction - they must always be pulled out horizontal, or they suffer huge heart strain at the pressure change." A sigh. "He is pulling through. Goodness knows where Rogue is now."
-,., -
"Gambit." A clearing of the throat. Almost apologetic. "Remy." An annoyed expulsion of air. "It's… Scott. I've been sent by your cluster of female admirers on the team - my wife included - to offer my…" A brief laugh, almost startled. "My apologies for my behaviour. Jean suggests it's because I'm constantly linked to her that I was susceptible to empathic attack by Rogue. She also says I have a subconscious weight of guilt, but then I don't see how talking to you while you're unconscious will help with that…" This under his breath, not really directed to anyone. "Still, this confrontation with Rogue has shown us all what we were missing, and explained one or two things. Now I would very much like you to get up and please get your sister out of my house. She's making a nuisance of herself."
-,., -
"Bobby took Betsy out for ice-cream today." Hank's warm voice. "She has been a little institutionalised since Warren's illness. She blames herself a little, I think." There was a sloshing noise of liquid in a bag as Hank changed the IV providing Remy with the food to keep him alive as he lay there. "I think Bobby enjoyed the ice-cream a little too much, though. Sometimes I wonder whether that boy will ever grow up. I think Betsy was quite embarrassed to be seen with him, and I do not blame her for that. And only yesterday I was thinking how much he had grown up, I should have know better!" Bandages loosening over his collarbone and a sharp pain as Hank felt over a wound. "This is definitely the most severe injury, you could have done worse. The laceration touched the bone, but is healing up quite well." The bandages re-tightened. A soft sigh. "I really had hoped to see you out of this before now."
-,., -
Ororo humming some distant tune, the sounds of movement around the lab. "Morning, brother. The sun is shining today, and everyone is too busy to enjoy it." A quiet sigh. "There is a short mission today, I am just packing up supplies. We will be back before you know it."
-,., -
A distant long whining beep… no stop to it. Running feet, shouting voices. The noise goes quiet as the door is shut. Hank doesn't visit that day.
-,., -
A week passed in much the same way, Hank always finding some quiet monologue as he went about his business in the lab.
One morning Hank came down into the peaceful silence of the lab to find it empty. With a cheerful grin he went about his business. If Remy needed him, he would call.
-,., -
Chapter 14
-,., -
"Logan? Are you alright?" Jean asked, seeing him zone out at the kitchen table. Ororo looked up from the newspaper, alert and on her guard. When Wolverine zoned out, people worried.
"Remy's up." He answered absently. Putting his fork down, he headed out into the hall. Remy was sat at the bottom of the stairs, breathing heavily with his head in his hands. Ororo rushed to his side and Logan flinched along with Remy - surprise panic fear - as she tried to help him up. Perhaps a little roughly - he did not like being afraid - Logan pulled Ororo away. She stumbled backwards and Jean caught her, pulling her away a little to give Logan room.
"Give the kid some room, 'Ro." He muttered without looking back at them, kneeling in front of Remy but not touching. "Hey Remy. Ya hear me?" He asked. A vague nod. "Can ya look at me?" His head lifted from his hands and a broad white bandage reminded Logan what a stupid question that was.
"'Fraid… 'fraid not, Wolvie." Deep breathy answer, but the sound of his voice and the heavy tint of humour that flowed into his mind was enough for Logan.
"Sorry, dumb question. Yer lookin' a bit off, ya wanna go back down ta see Hank?" The fear that raced through his mind was not at all expected and he fought to keep from popping his claws. Fight or run, fight or run… can't fight… can't run… what then? "OK, OK, not Hank." He soothed, gripping Remy's upper arm in an attempt to calm him.
"Sorry." A soft whisper, his mind filled with remorse.
"It's alright, really. Just take some deep breaths and we'll get ya up to your room. Get ya into some space you're comfortable with."
"No…" A whisper, not aimed at Logan but at himself. "No, not… I can't…" Standing, pushing Logan away with one hand pressed to his own forehead, backing away and stumbling as his feet hit the stairs. Logan stayed where Remy had put him, glancing to Ororo and Jean to make sure they wouldn't move either.
"Remy, talk to us. What can we do?" Ororo beseeched him as he scrabbled up the stairs away from them.
"Stay away. God, please, stay away. I can'… control it. Can' shut it down."
"Come on kid, stay with us. Tell us what's goin' on."
"Remy hears y'… jus' don'…" Panicky, shallow breaths. Withdrawing into the third person like a security blanket. It's not *me* this is happening to, someone else, somewhere else. Not me. Never me.
"I'm stayin' right here. Not moving an inch." Logan soothed.
"What is it that you can't control, Remy?" Jean pushed gently.
"Dere isn' a name… de… de movemen'."
"The sense you have? The one that leaves you open." Logan realised immediately. The one that you don't use because you can't control it, he added mentally. Remy very rarely allowed himself to use that power out of the controlled environment of the danger room - where there was very little other kinetic activity to distract him. And he would only use it in practice with Logan, who he was less likely to hurt permanently.
"Yes! Open an' dangerous. Charged. Remy don'… Remy don' wanna hurt y'."
"This is *me*, Remy. Logan. You can't hurt me for long. You know I'm here, can you feel me?" He waved, slowly, to create an extra element of movement for Remy to lock on to.
"Remy… sees y'."
"OK. You stay right where you are, and everyone else is going to stay right where they are, and I'm going to come to you, alright?" Slow and precise words, emoting calm. Deep breaths.
"Oui." Almost a sigh. At that acknowledgement, Logan started moving painfully slowly towards Remy. If he could keep him focused and not let him get distracted there wouldn't be a problem. No problem at all.
Just as he thought he was there, Remy's head flicked up towards the living room door.
"Someone's…" Logan was close enough to hear Remy's heart step up a beat as he fought to rein in powers that were threatening to lash out. He froze.
"It's OK. It's alright. Ororo, ya wanna see who that is." His voice was level and calm, and Logan was quite proud of himself. "Remy? Focus on me, alright? Let Ororo get the door, let me get to you."
"Ou… Oui." The last few steps and he was sat beside Remy on the third step of the grand staircase. Logan forced himself not to react as Remy flinched away from his touch. "Sorry."
"Hey, it's OK. Everyone gets times like this."
"Everyone 'cept…" A steadying breath. "'Cept you an' ol' fearless, neh?"
"What, ya think I don't get times like this?"
"Y' got y' powers on a shorter leash. Learnt control long ago."
"Hey Cyke?" Remy tentatively sought out Scott and Ororo as they walked across the hall towards him, very slowly. "D'ya remember that time I almost stuck ya through?" Scott laughed, shortly.
"We all thought you'd gone feral, but it turned out you'd just got up on the wrong side of the bed."
"What about yerself, anythin' ya can think of?"
"What? Times when I've lost control of my powers? You have to be kidding, right?" He snorted, with less humour this time. "I have infinite control over my powers. It is unshakeable." The dry sarcasm almost hid the pain in those words.
"The hole in the boathouse wall is probably the best example." Jean answered for him. "We had fun that night."
"Ahem." Scott intoned.
"At least it didn't take us long to realise that intimate relations without the goggles was a bad idea." Jean added. Scott's obvious embarrassment was enough to bring a touch of a smile to Remy's lips.
"Remy, you're up!" Remy flinched, jumping at the sudden sound. Logan was sure he was about to have a heart attack as Scott ducked and Jean and Ororo followed him to the ground, leaving Bobby standing, confused and baffled, on the other side of the room. When there was no sudden explosions, Scott looked up at Remy and Logan still sat on the stairs. The tension in Logan's body was all that betrayed his apprehension, but Remy was just looking confused.
"Wolvie?" He asked.
"Nothing happened, kid. Maybe ya got more control than ya give yerself credit for?"
"It's… I feel more stable dan I should. Per'aps… Per'aps I'm jus' too tired fo' charges?"
"Either way, let's get yer upstairs before we test the theory out."
-,., -
Quite apprehensively, Remy took the card that Logan placed in his hand. The charge flared quickly into life and tapered out as Remy pulled the energy back into himself. He waited for the flare of energy to fade from his mind, letting his new opened state view the world around him.
He was sat on the bed and an open window behind closed curtains was letting in enough breeze to shift the curtains slightly, the draught causing a soft eddy of movement through his room.
Logan was sat across from him, in the chair that normally sat under his desk. He was sitting too still to see the whole of him, but steady breathing, a heartbeat and the blinking of his eyes were all details that he could pick out. The clock's second hand moved slowly around the face. A butterfly brushed against the back of his curtain before finding its way back outside.
He fought to shut it all out enough to think about the words that he was trying to find to describe it. Too much information. He couldn't process it all. Logan shifted at the same time as a bird moved past his window and he was lost in trying to follow both. He pushed a hand against his forehead as he tried to hold it together.
"Y'all right?" So much in that simple question. Lips, face, body, breath.
"It's too much."
"Yer had it together out there. Don't lose it now."
"I don' know…"
"Distance yerself from it. Draw back." It seemed so simple when he put it like that. Remy frowned, trying *not* to see the tiny detail that was just offering itself up for examination. Seeing the broader picture. Like a painting made up of tiny pixels, nothing when seen from too close. Like a blind man learning how to see the world, when all he really wanted to look at was the contours of his lover's face. Remy smiled at that comparison.
"Better?"
"I don' know if dere's more detail dan befo', or if I jus' never let m'sel' see dis much wit'out losin' control."
"But ya got control now?" Remy frowned, searching.
"It's like… th' chargin' power ain' connected anymore." He shrugged.
"Ya think Rogue did this to ya?"
"If she did…" He shrugged. "She did me a favour."
"What… *did* she do to ya? We don't know enough about yer powers ta work out anythin' more than she had them, and she was usin' them." Remy paled a little.
"What… what happened t' Rogue?"
"We sent her away. It didn't take much ta break away from her when I knew ya weren't… Ya know." He shrugged emphatically. Remy saw. "She messed up Jean and Betsy too, but they're…"
"I know. I… heard." Logan sat up a little straighter, curious.
"Ya were listenin' ta all that crap? I though Hank said ya weren't conscious."
"I didn'… understand. Spent las' night processin' it all. Couldn' react ta anyt'in'…" He shuddered. "T'ink Rogue jus' overloaded m' emotions. Shoved all sorts of t'ings in th' wrong places. I had t'… sort it out. Somehow." He frowned, then shrugged with a wry smile. "Dat's what it felt like, anyways."
"How's ya head feel now?"
"Strange." He smiled softly. "I'll get over bein' open like dis eventually if it means I can keep th' extra sense."
There was a knock at the door, and Remy didn't jump this time.
"Come in, Henri." He greeted. The doctor stepped inside. Remy turned to face Hank, a deep frown in place. "Oh, dis is gonna be fun." He half-whispered. Remy was aware of a morass of movement as Hank took a step into the room. Every element of his fur caught his attention and threw it every which way as he moved, and his thick coat moved with him. He felt nauseous, vaguely aware that Hank was speaking and unable to concentrate on his words.
"Hank, stop, please!" He begged.
"Stop what…?"
"Moving. Stop moving." Logan clarified, at a loss as to why Remy was having such a problem.
"Mon Dieu… the fur." Remy slumped backwards on to his bed, clutching his head once more.
"His sense of movement has broken out, and he doesn't know how to control it." Logan explained as Hank froze in place.
"Isn't that…"
"The one that blows shit up, yeah. But so far nothing's gone bang. He thinks Rogue might have re-wired it accidentally." Hank absorbed this, trying not to nod reassuringly, or make any unnecessary movements.
"Well, as I said, Jean sent me, and I brought up a red filter for your windows. I thought it might allow you to change into your contact lenses without too much pain on your part." Remy nodded.
"Dat's clever." He smiled from where he lay on the bed. "Was hopin' y' wouldn' ask me t' come back t' y' lab to put dem back in. Y' have de only red lamp in th' mansion."
"I'll just…" Hank made a step towards the window with intent to place the filters, but Remy's groan stopped him. "I'll leave these with Logan." He finished. "Call me if you need me." He added, heading quickly for the door.
-,., -
Chapter 15
-,., -
Heading back to his lab and worrying that Remy now had yet another reason to avoid him, Hank walked the quiet corridors of the lower levels to stand at the door to the medilab. Warren was sat up on the bed, talking with Betsy as he ate his first solid meal in days, a newspaper not far away. Hank strode into the room, quickly taking in the readings on all the monitors. He nodded quickly, taking the chart and noting them all down before acknowledging either of his attentive audience with a smile.
"You're doing very well, Warren." He grinned, a bright flash of teeth. "I want you doing gentle exercise today, walking around the house. No rushing, no flying, don't leave the house. If you start to feel pressure around your chest, or any dizziness or nausea, I want you to come straight back here, and call me on the way down. Don't wait until you're here to tell me. Otherwise, you're free to go. I want you back at noon tomorrow so I can do a follow up." Hank silently blessed being able to stay in the same house as these people, so that he could release them from his lab long before any other doctor might be able to.
Watching Warren's slow progress out of his lab, Hank nodded to himself. Another customer well served. He chuckled to himself.
He had only just settled in his office when the phone on his desk rang, registering an internal call.
"Hey Hank?" Logan's voice. "Ya think yer could come back up here a second?"
-,., -
Remy was still sat on the bed, where he had been before, but the bandage was gone from around his head and the curtains were open, the big red filters were in place over the window, giving the room a deep red tint. Remy physically flinched as Hank walked through the door, but held still and looked up, trying to haze over the detail of Hank's fur.
Hank resisted the urge to gasp as Remy looked up, approaching quickly and forgetting about Remy's discomfort. With one hand on Remy's shoulder, he turned his chin towards the window so that he could take a better look at his eyes.
At first Hank had thought that his pupils had shrunk down to near nothing with the brightness of the red light, but now he could see that his eyes no longer held that deep red glow.
"My goodness." Remy smiled wryly at Hank's gasp.
"Yeah, that's what I said." Logan smirked. Remy had to snort at that.
"Well… I never."
"Dat's encouragin'. Hank 'ain' never'."
"Forgive me. I suspect this is linked to the sudden expansion of your kinesthetic powers."
"Y' have th' nicest names fo' what I am, Henri."
"I've just never seen mutant powers redistributed in this way. Though I have to admit I've never seen anyone put in this position before."
"So… dis is it den. No more chances fo' recovery?" Blank face, poker face. As if he didn't care either way.
"I wouldn't say that. Certainly not. This is simply your body adapting to the constraints placed upon it. We can no more judge how it might develop that I could have guessed that it might have happened in the first place. Have you tested whether or not you are still photosensitive?"
"I don'… th' bat'room has a window." Logan got the hint, and disappeared through the door, leaving Remy to realise that so long as there was nothing *moving* between him and another moving object, he could see it just as well. He watched Logan through the wall as he headed towards the window, opening the blinds. He looked back to where he knew the door was, trying to work out whether or not it was open.
It was becoming obvious that he could focus his attentions on one thing to high detail and shut out a lot of what else was going on around him, or just let himself be open to bulk details all around him. Neither involved actually turning his head in the right direction, though habit demanded it of him. He couldn't find the door, open or closed. He scowled, until he realised Logan was leaning out of the bathroom and looking at him expectantly. Which meant the door was open.
"Not'in'." He confirmed what Hank and Logan could already see. A deep weight settled in his stomach, and he felt Logan's wrench even as he heard his sigh. Hank could use all the pretty words he wanted, he knew what this meant for him.
"Ah well, this will save you the added problem of changing the lenses, at least." Hank suggested, his voice overly cheerful. Quietly excusing himself, Hank left Logan and Remy alone once more.
-,., -
"Bin tol' t' get some exercise Stormy." Remy grinned at his long-time friend as she settled beside him on the bed with a groan. "Bin a while since we sparred, hehn?"
"It has, Remy, but are you sure? You're only just out of bed." Remy flexed his fingers one at a time, wincing as damaged skin tightened across his knuckles. His 'Stormy' was one of the few people he would not hide his vulnerability from and he would expect the same openness from her, it was part of what made their relationship what it was.
"Gotta start somewhere." He answered eventually. Storm's grin shone through into her voice as she replied,
"Then there is nothing I would like more, Remy. And *please* stop calling me by that ridiculous name."
-,., -
Ororo left only long enough to retrieve her own bo staff from her room and to check with Hank to ask when she should force him to stop, knowing he would continue much beyond his own limits if allowed to. She loved him dearly, but sometimes he had to be watched to stop from hurting himself. She knew the Goddess had delivered her to him for a bigger reason than her own safety in her time of vulnerability. He needed protection, now more than ever. And she was more than willing to give it.
"Come then, my friend. Let us see if, even in this state, you are able to defeat me without effort as you used to."
"You've beaten me b'fo'." Remy replied, laughing as he attempted to sooth her ego. She took his hand as he held it out to her, wrapping it securely in the crook of her own elbow as they made their way out of the door, picking up the two wooden practice staffs from the doorway as they went.
"Maybe once or twice, but I have a distinct suspicion that it wasn't my own skill that allowed me to succeed on those occasions. I believe one of those was due to a broken wrist that you had 'forgotten' to inform me about." Remy had the good grace to look a little sheepish.
"Yeah, but…" Remy tensed and it took Ororo only a moment to discern the reason. Warren was stood at the end of the corridor they had been walking down, looking at them with a kind of distain in his eyes. She had no doubt Remy knew exactly what the man's emotions were and she could feel him shrinking back with every step she took forward.
"Stand tall, Remy. Stand tall." She murmured to him just before they came into ear-shot. Projecting her love with all her might, Ororo felt Remy's stance change, not confrontational, simply strong. She prayed Worthington would keep his mouth shut and not spoil that temporary strength that she had been able to lend him.
"Don't worry, LeBeau, girls love a vulnerable man." It was too much to ask really, she mused, flinching at the sound of the other man's voice. Some things even the Goddess had no control over. Remy's body language faltered, but he continued striding on in his long-legged gait. It became questionable who was leading whom. "Running LeBeau? Well now I know who hasn't been getting any lately... you should really be careful--" Ororo's arm slipped from Remy's and, uncertain, he stopped still, not wanting to stick around Warren longer than need-be, but not trusting his own knowledge of the building enough to walk on blindfold. Perhaps if he had been focused on his own position from his room… but he had been talking with Ororo, allowing her to distract him. Most of the other trained thieves wouldn't have had a problem in this situation, but because he had night vision, he couldn't help but use it.
Vertigo and panic began washing over him, one boosting the other until both were completely out of control and he was fighting the urge to curl up and hide from the darkness. The spinning of the cold blank walls around him stopped him from focusing on Ororo and Warren, not so far away. A far distant part of him was amused that he would have taken even Warren's presence just then to stabilise himself. A deep void opened around him, and he fought the unreasonable feeling that the floor was dropping away around him, leaving him on an island of solid ground around some great abyss.
-,., -
The feeling of Ororo's hand on his arm brought him back to himself.
"Remy?" The word was flooded with concern. He must look as bad as he felt. "Do you want to go back to your room?"
"Non, I'll be fine. What happen' t' th' birdbrain?" He asked, wanting to draw attention away from himself for a moment and genuinely curious as to where the weather goddess had disappeared to and why Warren's tirade had stopped so abruptly.
"He's taking a moment's rest. Though he may wake with a small headache." She sounded tremendously pleased with herself and not at all guilty.
"Y' knocked him out?"
"You see… my hand… it slipped." She claimed innocently. Not an ounce of guilt. Remy couldn't help but smile too. "Are you sure you're OK, Remy?" She asked, suddenly serious. "You're looking quite pale."
"Jus' a li'l dizzy. T'ought vertigo was fo' heights, no' fo' mansion corridors."
"Do you feel disorientated? Nauseous?" She pulled away and he almost moaned at the loss of the contact. "I'll get Hank…" She continued, oblivious. He caught her hand before she could step away.
"Stay." His voice cracked and he hated himself for it.
"Of course." And immediately she was back at his side, holding him, grounding him. Slowly the ground returned to its usual position and he brought his breathing back under control. "Better?" She asked as he sighed deeply. He nodded, not trusting his voice straight away. The earlier betrayal had left him wary. She took his arm again and began to walk back towards his room.
"Where'y' goin' Stormy? We' supposed t' be doin' some sparring."
"You don't expect me to believe that after that display you're still in a fit state to spar."
"Y' know me, a'ways up fo' more."
"You've just had a vertigo attack in the middle of the hallway, Remy."
"I've seen you get claustrophobia in th' middle o' a danger room sim. an' not call halt. All dat's differ'nt 'ere is… I'm no' scared o' small spaces." She heard the unspoken words as soon as he realised what he was about to say and changed them. She looked up at him, wishing she could meet his strange and alien eyes, see some truth in them.
"What are you afraid of my friend?" She asked softly.
"Bein' alone. In th' dark." His words were whispered. Barely there. As though the less they were spoken the less true they would become. Ororo looked on in wonder.
"But you are a thief, you live in darkness. And alone."
"Dis t'ief's eye's ain't normal t'ough. An' when th' only darkness y' see all y' life is th' bit b'hin' your eyelids… it become' a diff'rent place."
"I never knew…"
"Don' t'ink I did. Nev'r bin in true dark b'fo'." There was a hesitation in the sentence that made Ororo curious, but if Remy didn't want to say something then he wouldn't be convinced.
"Then… we shall simply have to ensure you are never alone."
"I can' ask y' to babysit me, 'Ro. Y' have ot'er t'ings t' do. I'm gonna be in Xavier's school…" He snorted. "His ot'er school, befo' long."
"What 'other things' do I have to do? There is no crisis looming, so missions will be rare and most will not need my expertise. The only time I am busy with anything other than meditation and the care of my plants is my danger room sessions, which seem to take place long before you awake each morning." She took a long breath. "Remy, I enjoy your company. Please do not deprive me of it under some unnecessary sense of independence." Remy chuckled.
"So now I'm 'deprivin' y' of m' company'."
"Are you sure you feel up to sparring. I will sit with you even if you choose not to go through with this." Her voice soft and low.
"Oui, Stormy, I'm sure."
"If you use that cursed nickname one more time, by the Goddess, I'll leave you here to find your own way back to your room." She was teasing and he knew it, but he couldn't help but tense a little at the threat.
"Ok, Ok, Ororo," he enunciated her name heavily, "Now lets go, befo' the bird brain wakes up an' tries t' accuse Remy o' hittin' him."
"He wouldn't dare. Think how badly it would reflect on him, to be knocked out by you even now." They laughed together and Ororo couldn't remember any sound she heard that lifted her spirits so.
Master Post . Chapters 1-3 . Chapters 4-6 . Chapters 7-9 . Chapters 10-12 . Chapters 13-15 . Chapters 16-18 . Chapters 19-22 . An End In Sight