Amusing Aftermath
Title: Amusing Aftermath
Series Title: Wandering Home
Author: FabledFigment
Disclaimer: There is no original content, except for the original content. All Hail Joss.
Timeline: Post BDM with sufficient ‘growing-up’ time for River.
Rating: R
Series Rating: NC-17
Previous
*
“Didn’t expect to see you back tonight.” Was the first thing outa BJ’s mouth when Jayne got back.
“Ain’t been home in fifteen years.” Jayne replied. “Can’t skip out on my own party.”
“Hell yes you can.” BJ laughed. “An’ I aim to help you do it. Let’s go down to the pub or something. The bugs are out, that means I’m headed in.”
Things did seem to be winding down. The rest of the people he knew were gone. Now the music was wilder and the teenagers had taken over. Jayne caught sight of Mike Helen dancing in the crowd.
“Let’s head over to Ma’s instead.” Jayne suggested. “There’s half a berry pie with our names on it.”
“Sounds good to me.” BJ stood and clapped Jayne across the back. “Your ma won’t mind none?”
“We can be quiet downstairs.” Jayne grinned.
Didn’t make a difference once they got there, because Ma was still up, talking to Zoë over the tea service.
Something sweet and breadlike was filling the kitchen with a wonderful smell.
“That little River ain’t with you?” Ma asked as soon as they were in the door.
That made Zoë eye him curiously. Damn. He hoped she wasn’t gonna give him hell over River too.
“She went back to the ship.” Jayne said. “BJ, this is Zoë, first mate on our boat. Zoë, my friend here is the sheriff over in Webberville.”
Zoë blinked, but hid her surprise by standing. “Pleased to meet you, Sheriff.”
“Beth Jason Walker at your service, ma’am.” He said.
Jayne noted with amusement that his friends seemed… interested.
“Sit yourselves down.” Ma said, gathering up her knitting and doing a poor job of using it to cover the picture album where Jayne knew for certain he’d find his most embarrassing childhood stills.
“If I know my boy, it’s that pie y’all are after. Let me pull it on out.” Ma bustled and fussed.
Weren’t hardly right that your Ma could still embarrass you in front of people after you was all grown.
They all sat, Jayne looked uncomfortably between his two…friends. Yeah, Zoë and BJ were both his friends for true.
“So, you and Jayne grew up together?” Zoë asked, sipping her tea.
“Yes, ma’am.” BJ grinned wide. “Ain’t used to hearing folk call him Jayne, though.” He poked Jayne’s arm. “Never would have come to that iffen you’d stayed home.”
Jayne shrugged. “Ain’t so bad. I’m big enough most folk don’t much laugh.” He traced a mark on the table. He’d made it himself years and years ago. Ma’d been so mad.
Jayne shook his head. “It gets to be easier than trying to explain the honor name ain’t usually used.”
Ma brought over plates full of pie and set them in front of the men. Then she went back to her chair.
“Honor name?” Zoë asked.
“Yep.” BJ gave her his most winning grin.
Gorramit, he really was trying to charm Zoë.
“A kid’s first name is to honor someone his parents knew and respected. The second name is the use name, gender correct for every day. Didn’t used to be so strictly reversed. My great grandfather was Nate Aaron. But these days the custom has shifted to imply a girl’s name for a boy and a boy’s name for a girl.”
Zoë nodded slowly. “How fascinating.”
BJ shrugged. “We’re used to it.”
“Say, Ma,” Jayne intended to distract from this topic. “Have you got anything around here fit for two grown men to drink?”
“Just some old currant wine, I guess.” She said, placidly clicking away at her knitting.
Jayne stood and snagged two more teacups from their place. He set them on the table and put the kettle back on. The wine was in the second cupboard from the right on the bottom. Funny how even after fifteen years everything he reached for was right where he remembered it should be.
Currant wine in strong tea, yet another taste of home he’d forgotten about.
Jayne opened another cupboard and reached for the biscuit tin. He opened it. Yep, still the same homemade almond biscuits, drying out because Ma liked to make them, but forgot to eat them.
The kettle whistled. He did the teapot up and snagged the dusty bottle of wine. He wiped it with a rag from the third drawer down and settled back at the table.
Zoë and BJ had moved on to talk about places she’d seen, which was safer than talking over his childhood. At least until she started in on the stupid-Jayne stories. There were too many of those for his comfort.
Jayne pulled the cork and sloshed plenty into three cups, Ma didn’t want none. He added tea to fill and snagged a biscuit to stir with. After the first few seconds, he had to shove the softened, nearly soggy thing into his mouth and grab another one.
“You never will change, will you, J Mike.” His Ma said, almost fondly.
He grinned, shook his head and took charge of the conversation just before Zoë got to talking about Canton.
*
Too many of the crew were missing when River woke. It sent her into a mild panic.
Even Simon and Kaylee were farther away than usual.
River dressed quickly and ghosted through the ship. Inara was in her shuttle. No surprise there. She was still asleep but the sadness caused by her fight with Mal lingered.
River retrieved her boots from the corner of the cargo bay where she’d tossed them in disgust the night before.
She found her brother right away. He and Kaylee had strung up a hammock in the corner of the fence to the field they were parked in. They were both still asleep.
River shook her head. No concept of security, either one of them.
“Wake up, ge ge. You have a patient.” River said. “I promised you would look over Jayne’s brother before we lift off.”
“Huh?” Simon wiped at the drool dried onto his cheek. “Wha’da ya… Now?” He rubbed his eye.
“Mal wants to lift off soonest.” River smirked. “How’s your head?”
Simon blinked.
Kaylee stirred against his arm. “River?” She opened her eyes and winced. “Morning. Is there coffee?”
“I bet Simon would make you some. I’m going to round up the crew.” River shook her head. The very idea of sleeping outside in an unfamiliar location.
“Wait.” Simon tried to sit up in the hammock and nearly fell out. “Should you be going off on your own?”
River snorted. “I know the way.”
“Wait, should you be so heavily armed?”
River laughed aloud. “Just prep the infirmary. I’ll give the guns back to Jayne later.”
“Leave her alone and find me coffee.” Kaylee ordered. “I need to check the secondary mag panels while we’re still grounded.” She extricated herself from the hammock effortlessly and stretched. “How’d you get Jayne to lend you guns?”
River smirked. “I asked.” She caught wisps of intrigue emanating from her friend. “I’ll be back before long with your patient.”
She found him psychically when she passed Nate Alice’s house. A knock on the door brought him out and River sent him along to the ship.
*
Jayne woke suddenly in unfamiliar circumstances. He froze, becoming very alert without betraying his wakefulness.
Not on board a ship, he couldn’t feel an engine. Comfortable mattress. Not a brothel, no sex smell. Birdsong through an open window, flower scented breeze.
“J Mike? Are you up yet?”
Ma.
Jayne rolled over, sitting up on the edge of the bed while he tried to remember the night before.
“Yeah, Ma, I’m awake.” He called. He was also nearly naked. Apparently he’d been sober enough to undress before falling into bed. The night before was coming back to him slowly.
“I put fresh towels in the bathroom.” Ma was right outside the door now. “I’ll go start your breakfast. That captain of yours kept going on and on about getting an early start this morning.”
“Thanks, Ma, I’ll be right down.”
Jayne rubbed both hands over his face. Had River really come on to him last night? Had he really been stupid enough to say no? Damn his head hurt.
Jayne stumbled towards the shower, half tripping over a hall table he wasn’t expecting.
He felt almost human again by the time he dressed and followed the smell of Ma’s cooking to the kitchen.
His heart and nether bits jumped when he saw River already sitting at the table. She was looking up at him with a calm, cold stare.
Damn. He hoped she wasn’t mad at him on account of turning her down. She was too good a friend to lose.
River shook her head slightly and some of the tension eased out of his shoulders. She wasn’t mad.
“There you are, son.” Ma left her knitting and started heaping food onto a plate. “I ain’t woke your friends yet. They look so peaceful.”
Jayne looked towards the living room where BJ and Zoë were sound asleep, leaning against each other on the sofa. He vaguely remembered leaving them there, still talking.
Jayne grunted and sat across from River.
Her lips pressed together in an expression that wasn’t quite a smile.
Ma set his plate in front of him and sat back in her place.
“Thanks.” He remembered to mumble.
In the past fifteen years, Jayne had forgotten what breakfast should taste like. He’d been away too long.
River waited until he was chewing before she spoke.
“Did you see Mal after I went home last night?” She asked quietly. “He’s the only one I haven’t located this morning.”
Jayne shook his head and swallowed before speaking. “No, I didn’t see him all night.”
“I saw him fighting with Inara.” River revealed. “She was in the shuttle this morning.”
Jayne bit back the curse he would have used if he wasn’t at his Ma’s table. “Could be trouble.”
“Should I ring the sheriff?” Ma asked.
River met his eyes, looking alarmed and amused. “After all those warnings he gave us about not to landing in jail… It would be ironic, wouldn’t it?”
Jayne closed his eyes. “Yes,” He groaned. “We’d better check the lockup. He’s probably a drunk and disorderly if he fought with Inara.”
Ma stood to make the wire call. She looked worried when she sat back down. “You’re right. The sheriff locked him up to sleep it off.”
Jayne met River’s eye and they both snorted with laughter.
“What’s funny?” Zoë asked from the doorway. She looked sleepy and her hair was mussed up.
“The captain refused to heed his own warning and needs to be bailed out of jail.” River bit her lip to stop the laughter.
Zoë made a face like she’d bit a lemon, but her eyes danced with amusement.
“Who’s in jail?” BJ asked coming up behind Zoë.
“Our captain.” Zoë said, managing to stay straight faced.
“Want me to go along to spring him out?” BJ asked.
Zoë’s smile was warmer than Jayne had seen since Wash died.
River caught his eye questioningly, he shrugged slightly.
“I’d appreciate that.” Zoë agreed.
“You should eat first.” River insisted.
*
Mal was still asleep and snoring when the Amity sheriff let the four of them into the jailhouse. He was alone in the small cell, curled up under some blankets.
“Looks sort of peaceful and childlike doesn’t he?” Zoë said, tilting her head.
“I have an inhumane urge to bang on the bars.” River admitted.
Jayne winced. He still had enough of a hangover to hate that idea. He picked her up bodily and moved her a few feet from the cell.
Zoë laughed. Mal stirred.
“Wait, I know,” Zoë took a deep breath. “Fall in.” She barked in a parade voice. “Fall in you worthless sacks of meat.” She smiled wryly at the rest of them. “Inspection!” She drew the last word out syllable by syllable.
Mal jumped up, half tripped on his blanket, and stumbled into a stance that could almost pass for attention. Then he opened his eyes.
“Zoë?” He squinted. “Ain’t a nice trick to play.” He slumped back on the prison cot.
Zoë chuckled. “Are you still planning on an early start, sir?”
“As soon as I can get out of here.” Mal groaned.
Zoë turned to the Amity sheriff. “Can we take him home?”
“Don’t see why not. As long as he don’t bother no one else.” The man pulled a ring of keys off his belt and opened the cell.
River walked in and patted Mal on the head. “Poor, poor captain, should Jayne carry you home?”
“Hey, leave me outta this.” Jayne grinned. “Seems like we was warned good and proper not to get ourselves locked up. Ain’t my fault.”
Mal stood again. “Please tell me you brought the mule.”
“Sorry.” Zoë said too brightly.
Mal groaned and headed for the open cell door.
Back to stories : Next
Oooh. Picking on Mal again… Bad Fig.
Series Title: Wandering Home
Author: FabledFigment
Disclaimer: There is no original content, except for the original content. All Hail Joss.
Timeline: Post BDM with sufficient ‘growing-up’ time for River.
Rating: R
Series Rating: NC-17
Previous
*
“Didn’t expect to see you back tonight.” Was the first thing outa BJ’s mouth when Jayne got back.
“Ain’t been home in fifteen years.” Jayne replied. “Can’t skip out on my own party.”
“Hell yes you can.” BJ laughed. “An’ I aim to help you do it. Let’s go down to the pub or something. The bugs are out, that means I’m headed in.”
Things did seem to be winding down. The rest of the people he knew were gone. Now the music was wilder and the teenagers had taken over. Jayne caught sight of Mike Helen dancing in the crowd.
“Let’s head over to Ma’s instead.” Jayne suggested. “There’s half a berry pie with our names on it.”
“Sounds good to me.” BJ stood and clapped Jayne across the back. “Your ma won’t mind none?”
“We can be quiet downstairs.” Jayne grinned.
Didn’t make a difference once they got there, because Ma was still up, talking to Zoë over the tea service.
Something sweet and breadlike was filling the kitchen with a wonderful smell.
“That little River ain’t with you?” Ma asked as soon as they were in the door.
That made Zoë eye him curiously. Damn. He hoped she wasn’t gonna give him hell over River too.
“She went back to the ship.” Jayne said. “BJ, this is Zoë, first mate on our boat. Zoë, my friend here is the sheriff over in Webberville.”
Zoë blinked, but hid her surprise by standing. “Pleased to meet you, Sheriff.”
“Beth Jason Walker at your service, ma’am.” He said.
Jayne noted with amusement that his friends seemed… interested.
“Sit yourselves down.” Ma said, gathering up her knitting and doing a poor job of using it to cover the picture album where Jayne knew for certain he’d find his most embarrassing childhood stills.
“If I know my boy, it’s that pie y’all are after. Let me pull it on out.” Ma bustled and fussed.
Weren’t hardly right that your Ma could still embarrass you in front of people after you was all grown.
They all sat, Jayne looked uncomfortably between his two…friends. Yeah, Zoë and BJ were both his friends for true.
“So, you and Jayne grew up together?” Zoë asked, sipping her tea.
“Yes, ma’am.” BJ grinned wide. “Ain’t used to hearing folk call him Jayne, though.” He poked Jayne’s arm. “Never would have come to that iffen you’d stayed home.”
Jayne shrugged. “Ain’t so bad. I’m big enough most folk don’t much laugh.” He traced a mark on the table. He’d made it himself years and years ago. Ma’d been so mad.
Jayne shook his head. “It gets to be easier than trying to explain the honor name ain’t usually used.”
Ma brought over plates full of pie and set them in front of the men. Then she went back to her chair.
“Honor name?” Zoë asked.
“Yep.” BJ gave her his most winning grin.
Gorramit, he really was trying to charm Zoë.
“A kid’s first name is to honor someone his parents knew and respected. The second name is the use name, gender correct for every day. Didn’t used to be so strictly reversed. My great grandfather was Nate Aaron. But these days the custom has shifted to imply a girl’s name for a boy and a boy’s name for a girl.”
Zoë nodded slowly. “How fascinating.”
BJ shrugged. “We’re used to it.”
“Say, Ma,” Jayne intended to distract from this topic. “Have you got anything around here fit for two grown men to drink?”
“Just some old currant wine, I guess.” She said, placidly clicking away at her knitting.
Jayne stood and snagged two more teacups from their place. He set them on the table and put the kettle back on. The wine was in the second cupboard from the right on the bottom. Funny how even after fifteen years everything he reached for was right where he remembered it should be.
Currant wine in strong tea, yet another taste of home he’d forgotten about.
Jayne opened another cupboard and reached for the biscuit tin. He opened it. Yep, still the same homemade almond biscuits, drying out because Ma liked to make them, but forgot to eat them.
The kettle whistled. He did the teapot up and snagged the dusty bottle of wine. He wiped it with a rag from the third drawer down and settled back at the table.
Zoë and BJ had moved on to talk about places she’d seen, which was safer than talking over his childhood. At least until she started in on the stupid-Jayne stories. There were too many of those for his comfort.
Jayne pulled the cork and sloshed plenty into three cups, Ma didn’t want none. He added tea to fill and snagged a biscuit to stir with. After the first few seconds, he had to shove the softened, nearly soggy thing into his mouth and grab another one.
“You never will change, will you, J Mike.” His Ma said, almost fondly.
He grinned, shook his head and took charge of the conversation just before Zoë got to talking about Canton.
*
Too many of the crew were missing when River woke. It sent her into a mild panic.
Even Simon and Kaylee were farther away than usual.
River dressed quickly and ghosted through the ship. Inara was in her shuttle. No surprise there. She was still asleep but the sadness caused by her fight with Mal lingered.
River retrieved her boots from the corner of the cargo bay where she’d tossed them in disgust the night before.
She found her brother right away. He and Kaylee had strung up a hammock in the corner of the fence to the field they were parked in. They were both still asleep.
River shook her head. No concept of security, either one of them.
“Wake up, ge ge. You have a patient.” River said. “I promised you would look over Jayne’s brother before we lift off.”
“Huh?” Simon wiped at the drool dried onto his cheek. “Wha’da ya… Now?” He rubbed his eye.
“Mal wants to lift off soonest.” River smirked. “How’s your head?”
Simon blinked.
Kaylee stirred against his arm. “River?” She opened her eyes and winced. “Morning. Is there coffee?”
“I bet Simon would make you some. I’m going to round up the crew.” River shook her head. The very idea of sleeping outside in an unfamiliar location.
“Wait.” Simon tried to sit up in the hammock and nearly fell out. “Should you be going off on your own?”
River snorted. “I know the way.”
“Wait, should you be so heavily armed?”
River laughed aloud. “Just prep the infirmary. I’ll give the guns back to Jayne later.”
“Leave her alone and find me coffee.” Kaylee ordered. “I need to check the secondary mag panels while we’re still grounded.” She extricated herself from the hammock effortlessly and stretched. “How’d you get Jayne to lend you guns?”
River smirked. “I asked.” She caught wisps of intrigue emanating from her friend. “I’ll be back before long with your patient.”
She found him psychically when she passed Nate Alice’s house. A knock on the door brought him out and River sent him along to the ship.
*
Jayne woke suddenly in unfamiliar circumstances. He froze, becoming very alert without betraying his wakefulness.
Not on board a ship, he couldn’t feel an engine. Comfortable mattress. Not a brothel, no sex smell. Birdsong through an open window, flower scented breeze.
“J Mike? Are you up yet?”
Ma.
Jayne rolled over, sitting up on the edge of the bed while he tried to remember the night before.
“Yeah, Ma, I’m awake.” He called. He was also nearly naked. Apparently he’d been sober enough to undress before falling into bed. The night before was coming back to him slowly.
“I put fresh towels in the bathroom.” Ma was right outside the door now. “I’ll go start your breakfast. That captain of yours kept going on and on about getting an early start this morning.”
“Thanks, Ma, I’ll be right down.”
Jayne rubbed both hands over his face. Had River really come on to him last night? Had he really been stupid enough to say no? Damn his head hurt.
Jayne stumbled towards the shower, half tripping over a hall table he wasn’t expecting.
He felt almost human again by the time he dressed and followed the smell of Ma’s cooking to the kitchen.
His heart and nether bits jumped when he saw River already sitting at the table. She was looking up at him with a calm, cold stare.
Damn. He hoped she wasn’t mad at him on account of turning her down. She was too good a friend to lose.
River shook her head slightly and some of the tension eased out of his shoulders. She wasn’t mad.
“There you are, son.” Ma left her knitting and started heaping food onto a plate. “I ain’t woke your friends yet. They look so peaceful.”
Jayne looked towards the living room where BJ and Zoë were sound asleep, leaning against each other on the sofa. He vaguely remembered leaving them there, still talking.
Jayne grunted and sat across from River.
Her lips pressed together in an expression that wasn’t quite a smile.
Ma set his plate in front of him and sat back in her place.
“Thanks.” He remembered to mumble.
In the past fifteen years, Jayne had forgotten what breakfast should taste like. He’d been away too long.
River waited until he was chewing before she spoke.
“Did you see Mal after I went home last night?” She asked quietly. “He’s the only one I haven’t located this morning.”
Jayne shook his head and swallowed before speaking. “No, I didn’t see him all night.”
“I saw him fighting with Inara.” River revealed. “She was in the shuttle this morning.”
Jayne bit back the curse he would have used if he wasn’t at his Ma’s table. “Could be trouble.”
“Should I ring the sheriff?” Ma asked.
River met his eyes, looking alarmed and amused. “After all those warnings he gave us about not to landing in jail… It would be ironic, wouldn’t it?”
Jayne closed his eyes. “Yes,” He groaned. “We’d better check the lockup. He’s probably a drunk and disorderly if he fought with Inara.”
Ma stood to make the wire call. She looked worried when she sat back down. “You’re right. The sheriff locked him up to sleep it off.”
Jayne met River’s eye and they both snorted with laughter.
“What’s funny?” Zoë asked from the doorway. She looked sleepy and her hair was mussed up.
“The captain refused to heed his own warning and needs to be bailed out of jail.” River bit her lip to stop the laughter.
Zoë made a face like she’d bit a lemon, but her eyes danced with amusement.
“Who’s in jail?” BJ asked coming up behind Zoë.
“Our captain.” Zoë said, managing to stay straight faced.
“Want me to go along to spring him out?” BJ asked.
Zoë’s smile was warmer than Jayne had seen since Wash died.
River caught his eye questioningly, he shrugged slightly.
“I’d appreciate that.” Zoë agreed.
“You should eat first.” River insisted.
*
Mal was still asleep and snoring when the Amity sheriff let the four of them into the jailhouse. He was alone in the small cell, curled up under some blankets.
“Looks sort of peaceful and childlike doesn’t he?” Zoë said, tilting her head.
“I have an inhumane urge to bang on the bars.” River admitted.
Jayne winced. He still had enough of a hangover to hate that idea. He picked her up bodily and moved her a few feet from the cell.
Zoë laughed. Mal stirred.
“Wait, I know,” Zoë took a deep breath. “Fall in.” She barked in a parade voice. “Fall in you worthless sacks of meat.” She smiled wryly at the rest of them. “Inspection!” She drew the last word out syllable by syllable.
Mal jumped up, half tripped on his blanket, and stumbled into a stance that could almost pass for attention. Then he opened his eyes.
“Zoë?” He squinted. “Ain’t a nice trick to play.” He slumped back on the prison cot.
Zoë chuckled. “Are you still planning on an early start, sir?”
“As soon as I can get out of here.” Mal groaned.
Zoë turned to the Amity sheriff. “Can we take him home?”
“Don’t see why not. As long as he don’t bother no one else.” The man pulled a ring of keys off his belt and opened the cell.
River walked in and patted Mal on the head. “Poor, poor captain, should Jayne carry you home?”
“Hey, leave me outta this.” Jayne grinned. “Seems like we was warned good and proper not to get ourselves locked up. Ain’t my fault.”
Mal stood again. “Please tell me you brought the mule.”
“Sorry.” Zoë said too brightly.
Mal groaned and headed for the open cell door.
Back to stories : Next
Oooh. Picking on Mal again… Bad Fig.