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[ppuma]

Hey guys, I just joined today and this is my first entry., so first of all, HELLOOO everyone!! =)  I suppose my expat situation might be a bit reversed

Comments

[sofamiliar]

I relate deeply. I moved abroad a few months ago, and it has been very difficult, and very lonely sometimes. I wrote to a friend who had made a similar move, and asked her advice, and I'll pass it on to you: It gets better after a year or maybe less. You just moved halfway across the world, and left behind your old life - it's not going to be a snap adjustment.

Give yourself time. For me, it got a lot worse before it got better. I have been here over six months now, and it's only just started to feel like home.

*hugs* You can do it.

For me, I got more involved in my husband's church, and made an effort to hang out with people I didn't know very well. And it's slowly, but surely, started to feel more like home.

[ppuma]

Hi, thank you so much for the response, its really comforting to know that other people know how I feel. I really wish I had a church that I could get involved in, but I don't even know where to look =/

That is really good advice from your friend and I will try to keep thinking about that everytime I get frusterated about being here on my own. How long have you been over there now? Was it difficult for you to find friends in the beginning as well?

[samtaro82]

I also moved to Germany (although I am American and was born in the US), and despite the fact that I knew some people there when I moved over, and despite the fact that I was going to university, I still had trouble making friends sometimes. The best thing I did was sign up for a language tandem - my two tandem partners have been two of the best friends I've had here, and they've introduced me to their friends as well

[ppuma]

Thank you for this response! The language tandem sounds really interesting.. I've heard about that before. Do you have to attend Uni to do it (I'm actually doing an Ausbildung right now, but just wrote college because I figured not many people would be familiar with the German term) or can you just volunteer your time to do it? It sounds amazing and I'd love to do something like that

[samtaro82]

Sorry it took me so long to reply! I don't think you have to be a university student to do Tandem, although I think most of the programs are run by universities. If you google Tandem for your area, you should find the local programs, and then you can contact them to find out whether you can participate or not. I did my first one through a university and my second through an independent language school, so I am pretty sure there are ways to do it without being a university student

[semitribe]

I've been living abroad in Japan for about two and a half years now, and even though I can speak Japanese with a fairly high level of fluency, I too was plagued by loneliness for probably about the first year and a half. I would spend weeks in the "wake up-go to work-go home and sleep, repeat," not going out or even talking to anyone in the evening or all weekend. Even now, it's hard to cope with some days when I get that overwhelming feeling and can't get out of bed.

I second the poster above when they mention a language exchange. If you're fluent in German already, why not try learning another language? That in itself will open up a lot of doors. Also, try finding friends on Meetup.com, or see if Germany has some kind of Social Networking Site with communities you can join. If you're interested in traveling or travelers, try Couch Surfing. Use the internet to your advantage!

[the_gypsy_queen]

I can relate very well to the way you describe your feelings. I have moved countries twice, I am originally from Venezuela where I was born and grew up, I moved to the US when I was 18 and lived there for nearly 10 yrs and I moved to Spain almost 2 yrs ago. This last move had been the toughest one for me and I've tried and forced myself to go out there and meet people and I've had met some but everybody else leaves or they are just what I call "disposable friends" You meet them, have a great time and then they say "I'll call you" and ends there. I've tried language exchanges even though I am bilingual, I've tried volunteering programs, etc all I've met are disposable friends. I am going in reverse, to the point that I don't feel like going out or make the effort to meet anybody but I need to keep trying somehow since I have nobody here in Spain with me.

Hope things improve for you *hugs*