Hallelujiah: A Guide to Suho Part 3
WELCOME TO ~HEAVEN~ AKA THE SUHO PIMP POST
You’re definitely mistaken if you think Suho can only look and act like an ahjussi (even though he is a total Gramps at heart, bless him). They say smart is the new sexy, but for Suho, his smarts only take his natural hotness to a whole new level. He is one GQMF whose chocolate abs can make your panty drop. Yes, that’s his body and not photoshop. And if you think Kai's the only one who likes to tease fans onstage, Suho does that subtly, too! Like 3 6 5 ~. You know, even his pimples are kinda sexy and endearing.
Seriously, though, Gramps is one photogenic guy. He’s adorable when he smiles, but when he stops and stares, say goodbye to your train of thought. He can make manipulating light look hot. His hip thrusts and hair flip would also make you want to flip tables.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Okay, back to business. ┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)
It’s not apparent at first glance, but Suhoses knows how to grease it up, too. Ultimately, though, what really amps up Suho’s hotness level is that not only does he have the body, the beauty, but he also has his brains, and how he doesn’t hide his being smart.
Sexy Suhoses aside, Gramps is really the earnest daddy of EXO-K. Suho’s type of leadership is quiet and thoughtful. As the lenient appa of this rowdy group of boys, he enjoys carrying on and watching over them in his own quiet, individual way, content to be a part of it all rather than to be leading it.
His diplomatic answers during interviews might bore some but he is always ready to give his support with a reassuring pat on the back, or even fanboy when needed. Ever the nurturing appa, he even teaches his maknaes how to do aegyo and is willing to steal drinks for his members or provide their water. Plus, no matter how canned his answers may seem, it’s reassuring to see how he takes leadership (and being EXO’s guardian) seriously. You get the feeling that they’re in safe hands. And even if Suho Appa seems to be the favorite target of his sons’ bullying, you know they treasure him and they just do it out of love (just like us).
He believes in resolving problems with love and hugs (his own words, not even kidding) and holding family meetings every week with his members. He even coined “EXO Let’s love!” as their group chant.
While fandom jokes are appreciated, beating a dead horse isn’t what we’re after. Nevertheless, we cannot disregard Junmyeon’s, shall we say, “elderly” demeanor and habits. It started with getting offstage after Sorry Sorry for international fans (Oh, Gramps), but it may have a bit of history before that.
The K-fandom gave Suho a nickname, “아날로그 감성”, which means, “analog sensibility”. He got that nickname because Suho has an “old” sense of humor. His strong love for “hahaha”’s and his typing speed (okay, maybe he’s not as slow as Kyungsoo) seem to prove the claim above. And really, who still handwrites his reports for school in this century?
Furthermore, Suho is the oldest member of EXO-K. And because he went to school early, he’s friends with the ‘90 line. Plus he likes to play golf! Because of these, Suho has been called “Gramps” by many. So even in this cute traffic song (where everyone else looks about 5-10 years younger), he’s still called “Gramps”--especially in that outfit. Suho personally doesn’t take offense to being called Gramps so fans shouldn’t worry; he even plays along with it.
With his permissive parenting style, things are bound to go wrong. As young men will continue to be brats, EXO-K’s benevolent leader bears the brunt of their jokes and teasing.
From blocking his attempts at speaking during birthday events or wanting him restrained and dragged out from the event itself. Likewise, the EXO kids call him out as a liar whenever Suho expresses his love for the fans. He even gets shrugged away when he tries to be a bit closer to his members or growled and hit by their maknae. He also had to take off his jacket in negative degree celsius weather after a truth or dare game with his members who were laughing their asses off when he did. But this guardian knows how to fight back (sometimes). He once let Chanyeol do the closing statement because they were teasing him (again) and watched Chanyeol fail stumble upon his words. In Xiumin’s recent birthday event, Tao made a jab at Suho’s dancing skills which had the leader kicking Tao and inadvertently hitting Lay (Unicorn wasn’t doing anything!).
In times when he’s not smiling like the happiest day of his life or amping up the grease, he tends to pout like a petulant child whose candy got stolen or have a lingering sadness in his eyes. It could be him contemplating the wonders of life or thinking about what Kyungsoo will cook for dinner, we’ll never know. Aside from when he’s giving ments or speeches, he is also likely to be overcome with feels when he sings. It’s okay, Suho, LET IT OUT.
Warning: Exceedingly lame jokes. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Suho is known to be really...corny and hardworking. At least he tries! However, his members keep judging and disowning him everytime he says something inappropriate aka a lame joke. He likes cracking jokes only he finds funny. From chicken jokes to being Jongin’s mentor to implying that he was the most handsome member (sorry Gramps, but Chen’s having none of that).
Suho doesn’t mediate fights, he eggs them on. Though that may be partly because of the mention of height, which is a sensitive topic for him. Maybe those slippers can help with that. He has his bouts of TMI and letting his inner dancing machine loose. Junmen also tried his hand at being evil or more like creepy, if you ask us. (To the hardcore Suho stans, that isn’t even a threat.) He doesn’t even try to escape in doing aegyo to appease fans. Now you know where Kris got that line from.
Everyone loves post-it note questions! It may be a hodgepodge of lame jokes, and sweet moments but there’s more of try-hard Suho than anything. It’s okay though because he’s endearing as hell with his answers.
And no Suho, you can’t outsmart fans.
Despite his tragic sense of humor, he also has some sass, snark, and trolling ways in him. He’s not always the helpful leader. Examples: saying Baekhyun’s powers are useless, trolling his high school friends, responding snarkily to Sehun, even Chanyeol wasn’t able to escape him sassy ways. Have some more of his predebut shenanigans. (He doesn’t have a car yet, Xiumin.) Fans have also been the victims of Suho’s trolling. Like the fan who just wanted to focus on her studies or those wanting some give aways. This man belongs in Kyu-line. Or he already is.
Ready for more Suho? Proceed to part 1. part 2. part 4. part 5.