Hockey RPF podfic masterlist
All the Hockey RPF podfics I've recorded, my own fic and others with author permission
SPN podfic can be found here. SPN/CW RPF podfic can be found here. Avengers/Marvel podfic can be found here. Other fandoms (including Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra & Idol RPF) can be found here.
Permanent download links courtesy of paraka
All Audiofic Archive links courtesy of general_jinjur
Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane
A Hollow Nest to Dream In
celli | Teen & up | 5:46
Author's Summary: Emotionally constipated dudes expressing love through making out and deciding to have a kid. In front of the Stanley Cup. #thatsit #thatsthefic
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.65 MB]
A Very Kaner Christmas
hawksjolras | Teen & up | 1:26:31
Author's Summary: Patrick blurts, “I need you to be my Christmas boyfriend.” “No,” Jonny says. He sounds confused, but in Patrick’s defense, it was a pretty straightforward request. Like, there’s only so much a guy can do. (A lighthearted Christmas fic featuring a twin size bed, a hand knit scarf, a light-up Rudolph sweater, and a truly embarrassing amount of pining.)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [40 MB] | m4b [41.5 MB]
According to Plan
rsadelle | Mature | 14:41, 6.7 MB
Author's Summary: So then Pat stops and thinks about it. Because they've talked about how their kids are going to play hockey together and how Jonny can take them golfing and how Pat is never allowed to name a kid after Kanye, no matter how awesome he is. But he's never actually said that the kids they're talking about are going to be his and Jonny's together. He always thought that part was obvious.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
All that junk inside those trunks
mermaid | Teen & up | 20:47
Author's Summary: Making sure to stand in profile, Jon watches Kaner take in the sight of him in the too-tight swim trunks. Kaner's fingers twitch at his sides and his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, but Jon can't read his expression.
"Jeez," Kaner says after a moment. "It's like two bowling balls stuffed inside a tube sock."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [9.6 MB] | m4b [10.2 MB]
all your favourite foods
torigates | Mature | 36:27
Author's Summary: Jonny sent Pat a picture of him fishing. Naturally, things escalated from there.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [16.8 MB] | m4b [17.8 MB]
Be Thou My Ally
ingenius | Explicit | 40:52
Author's Summary: Patrick is a priest of Aphrodite and Jonathan has a debt to pay.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [19 MB] | m4b [20 MB]
Better Off With You
tictactoews | Teen & up | 1:05:53
Author's Summary: Tazer has always seemed prickly on the outside, but he takes it to a whole new level when he turns into an actual hedgehog and becomes dependent on Patrick's care.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [30 MB] | m4b [32 MB]
Bluehawk
aohatsu | Explicit | 1:26:59
Author's Summary: Jo sleeps with Kaner for the second time when she’s twenty-one and gets drunk off her ass in a bar in Vancouver.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [40 MB] | m4b [41.65 MB]
call it magic
thundersquall | Teen & up | 59:22
Author's Summary: “It’s the faerie blood in me,” Patrick explains.
Jonny is just not equipped to deal with this shit.
OR, on March 17, Patrick turns into a faerie.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [27 MB]
Clean and Shirk
mermaid | Teen & up | 4:36
Author's Summary: "I don't see why I have to help clean," Patrick says, even as he stacks the scattered DVD cases into a neat pile. He's bent over the coffee table, and Johnny takes a moment to admire the view of his ass in those shorts. "First of all, you're the messy one."
This is partly true, Johnny has to admit. But still: "Messier," he corrects, from where he's standing in front of the open fridge. "You're no neat freak yourself, man - most of this old takeout is yours."
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.1 MB]
defrost, debauch, destroy
psocoptera | Mature | 5:24
Author's Summary: Beneath the ice, dread things lie dreaming. Or listening to One Direction, whatever.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.5 MB]
do it like they do on the discovery channel
hazel | Explicit | 1:04:13
Author's Summary: It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [29.5 MB] | m4b [30.7 MB]
Dude, Where's the Stanley Cup?!
svmadelyn | Mature | 1:18:14
Author's Summary: Johnny lands in Saskatoon at noon, and is shocked to see Kaner hovering furtively at Johnny's gate exit. He's wearing a baggy gray hoodie and obnoxiously huge sunglasses and he doesn't look like he's showered in at least three days. Johnny is somehow still relieved to see him.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [36 MB] | m4b [37.8 MB]
engagement sex
torigates | Mature | 2:41
Author's Summary: Written for the prompt "engagement sex."
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [1.23 MB]
For they are rain upon the binding dust of earth
ingenius | Explicit | 23:39
Author's Summary: Sometimes, Patrick cries during sex.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.8 MB]
Good hands
mermaid | Explicit | 58:36
Author's Summary: "I think you owe me more than just a blowjob, Patrick," the physical therapist says. "I could have just worked on your wrist, but I gave you the full treatment."
"Because you chose to," Kaner protests.
"Yes, I did. And now I can choose what I get from you in return...can't I?" From the careful tone and the intent expression, Kaner suspects that Jonny's asking instead of - or as well as - the therapist. It's hard to keep track now. He's so fucking turned on that it's a challenge to hold his head up, let alone think straight.
"Yeah, man, you can," Kaner tells whoever needs to know.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [27 MB] | M4B [28 MB]
high roller
demotu | Explicit | 13:23
Author's Summary: “I’m not doing you in the seats,” Pat says, tilting his head back to grin up at Jonny’s red face. “Turn around.” [timestamp for put your money where your mouth is]
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [6.13 MB]
Hooked on a Feeling
pyrodynamo | Teen & up | 26:12
Author's Summary: The one where Patrick is not exactly Bella Swan and Jonathan is definitely not Sparkly Whatshisname. OR, THE WERE-PUG AU.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [12 MB] | m4b [13 MB]
i dreamed of you at nighttime
vlieger | Cover art by fishpatrol | Teen & up | 40:15
Author's Summary: Kaner is pumped to be rooming by himself after five years with Tazer. Only then shit gets weird.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [19 MB] | m4b [19 MB]
i should say and you should hear
staraflur | Explicit | 1:12:40
Author's Summary: So yeah, it takes a few days, but eventually Jonny gets to deliver the gospel of winning a faceoff by interfering directly with your opponent’s stick. (Heh.)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [33 MB] | m4b [35 MB]
if you feel me put your hands high
vlieger | Explicit | 17:53
Author's Summary: Obligatory post-lockout porn. With super-indulgent bonus feelings, sorry.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [8.19 MB]
Illuminate
sophia_helix | Explicit | 18:00
Author's Summary: Jonny likes to sunbathe naked.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [8.5 MB] | m4b [9.6 MB]
Instincts
grim_lupine | Explicit | 23:20, 10.7 MB
Author's Summary: They don’t talk about what happens during the moon; and they don’t talk about how Patrick drives over sometimes to curl up on the couch and put his head in Johnny’s lap, jittery all over until he gets the anchoring weight of Johnny’s hand on the back of his neck; and they don’t talk about how Johnny calls him some nights and says, “Come over,” and Patrick does, because Johnny’s head is pounding with the need to get Patrick where he can see him, breathe in the scent of him, know he’s there and well. If they don’t talk about it they can just keep having whatever they need from each other; and that’s what they’ll do, because Johnny is Patrick’s alpha and Patrick needs him to be that for him. For Johnny, it’s always been more.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
Into Each Life Some Rain Will Fall Like Cat Piss In Your Shoes
james | Teen & up | 8:31
Author's Summary: Johnny is waiting for Patrick to get home from Switzerland. What he gets is a surprise.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [3.9 MB]
just keep it on the down low
zarathuse | Mature | 15:33
Author's Summary: That night, to shut Jonny up, Patrick spends most of dinner talking loudly about the super hot blonde he met in the hotel lobby last night. He tries to keep it convincing but tame because Patrick’s learned the hard way that even though this was Jonny’s idea, he’ll be pissy the rest of the night if Patrick sounds too believable.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [7.12 MB]
Keep Calm and Don't Think of Star Wars
cherryvanilla | Teen & up | 1:15:58
Author's Summary: After I once again assure Abby that Johnny and I are not, NOT related (by googling the difference between half-brother and stepbrother because jesus fucking christ am I am the only knowledgeable one around here?), she agrees to help.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [35 MB] | m4b [36 MB]
Kiss and Ride on the CTA
hikaru | Explicit | 52:39
Author's Summary: Pat is never, ever forgiving Smitty. Now, every time he sees that Canadian douchebag on the train, his brain mentally reminds him that the guy has a name, that he’s Jonathan and he probably grows his own fucking kale while reading original source texts about the French Revolution. His brain also keeps supplying Pat with reminders that the guy is really remarkably good looking.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [24 MB] | m4b [25.6 MB]
let's make it plural
ellot | Mature | 2:26:21
Author's Summary: Tazer and Kaner are dating. Too bad they don't know it. Yet.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [62 MB, zipped] | m4b [70 MB]
light 'em up
radioaches | Explicit | 6:46
Author's Summary: The night before is mostly just a blur of booze and yelling and celebrating, but Patrick is pretty sure he fell asleep in the middle of giving Jonny a two times Stanley Cup winner handjob.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [3.1 MB]
like you want me to
radioaches and ellievolia | Explicit | 39:33
Author's Summary: So it's easy, when they're drunk and high on winning, and they've been dancing for a while, and Kaner is so so close and breathing heavily against her ear. It's so easy to say, "Wanna go back to mine?"
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [18.11 MB]
On the Line
queeniegalore | Explicit | 2:44:34
Author's Summary: AKA the one with the phone sex. In which Kaner finds out Jonny wants to fuck him and is pretty okay with that turn of events. Phone sex, picnic baskets, crazy eyes, hockey and insanity ensue.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [69 MB, zipped] | m4b [77 MB]
Orbital Resonance
fourfreedoms & joyfulseeker | Explicit | 7:39:08
Author's Summary: Sublimation
1. Passing from one phase to another without transitioning through an intermediate phase.
2. Where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are consciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse.
Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews should probably have figured out the first time what this type of behavior meant.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [195 MB, zipped] | m4b [218 MB]
our song is the way you laugh
thenorthface | Mature | 59:06
Author's Summary: “Okay,” Kaner says quickly. There’s no letting Jonny change his mind. He’ll look disgusting with a mullet. It’ll be beautiful. Maybe he’ll make little kids on the street cry. “You’ve got a deal. I’ll pretend to date you, and you’ll wear a mullet until we’re hopefully lifting the Cup again or until we’re otherwise eliminated. Horrible photos, probing questions in press conferences and all.”
“Fine,” Jonny says. “Deal.”
His palm is warm under Kaner’s when they shake on it.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [27MB] | m4b [28.5 MB]
Penalties in Minutes
fahye | Explicit | 35:49
Author's Summary: And yeah, maybe Patrick has ranted at him a bit about how you can't always treat sex like a powerplay, Jonathan, but Pat knows as well as Jon that the best plays fall in that sweet spot between preparation and inspiration.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [17 MB]
Pure Destroyer
jukeboxghost | Explicit | 35:46
Author's Summary: Jonny's bent over in front of the fridge, fussing about and making the glass bottles clank together. His back is sleek. The waistband of his boxers is all jacked up at the back, little white label sticking up. Patrick wants to fuck him cross-eyed.
Permanent download link:(right-click, save-as) mp3 [16.38 MB]
put your money where your mouth is
demotu | Explicit | 56:48
Author's Summary: Honestly, Pat isn't sure how they got here. He's had a lot to drink, and they've been engaged in about four hours of what was Mario Kart war but turned into an epic Smash Bros. tournament, and somewhere along the way bets that required badges of honour were made, except instead of badges of honour somebody-okay, probably Pat-decided they were to be badges of shame, and somebody-again, probably Pat-decided the winner got to mark the loser so everybody could heckle him until it faded.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26 MB] | m4b [27 MB]
Q and A
jezzyjay | Teen & up | 10:14
Author's Summary: "Which would you rather,” Patrick says one rainy night in November. “Be able to run a hundred miles an hour or be able to fly?”
Jonny turns in the bed a little. “Why isn't one of those options go to sleep?”
Patrick sighs. “Bear with me, Jonny. I'm going somewhere with this.”
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.7 MB]
Racy
scribblinlenore | Explicit | 31:50
Author's Summary: Patrick flipped on the water, kicked off his underwear and-jolted to a stop, staring at himself in the mirror. He had racing stripes. Down below. For a moment, he honestly couldn't think how they'd gotten there. Had the awesomeness fairy visited him?
In which Patrick drunk dares Jonny, and Jonny rises to the challenge, and Patrick finds it a little hot. Okay, a lot hot.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [14.5 MB]
rinse, repeat
zara_t | Teen & up | 24:31
Author's Summary: Patrick shook his head again, holding up a finger like he was about to make an important point. “I have a better idea,” he said. “We’re gonna fix your hair.”
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [11.3 MB] | m4b [12 MB]
Shut Up Honey
aohatsu | Teen & up | 1:07:09
Author's Summary: It's just a little frustrating, that Patricia can be so good at their sport, and then still look the way she does.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [31 MB] | m4b [32 MB]
Sign it with your heart
tictactoews | Teen & up | 56:22
Author's Summary: Patrick loses a bet and is dared to plant an anonymous love letter into a random locker. It just so happens that the locker belongs to one Jonathan Toews, captain of the school hockey team. Meanwhile, Jonny finds himself in need of a math tutor, and following the advice of his teacher, he asks the new kid, Patrick Kane, for help.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26 MB] | m4b [27 MB]
Soft
altri_uccelli | Teen & up | 48:31
Author's Summary: Uhhhh, hedgehog Kaner in Switzerland.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [22.4 MB] | m4b [23.4 MB]
some say love is a burning thing.
cherryvanilla | Explicit | 33:37
Author's Summary: If anyone had told Johnny upon entering the NHL that thirteen years later he'd not only have a kid with Patrick Kane, but would be getting ready to go on a 'date night,’ he'd have said they must be smoking some pretty good shit. And then he'd have to wait a decade to eat his words.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [15.4 MB]
something old, something new
longtime_lurker | Explicit | 1:51:24
Author's Summary: Jonny's standard canned press response is that he loves Kaner like a sister...which is perfectly true, if you’re talking like on Game of Thrones.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [51 MB] | m4b [53 MB]
Somewhere Only We Know
jezzyjay | Mature | 2:17:00
Author's Summary: Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis.
Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [64 MB]
Space Kaner
celli | Mature | 18:05
Author's Summary: Patrick has an extra toe from an unfortunate accident as a child and an inconvenient crush on his commanding officer. It gets worse from there.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [8.28 MB]
Strings Definitely Attached
grim_lupine | Mature | 8:59
Author's Summary: “It’d be convenient, and it makes sense,” Pat says when she brings it up, her shoulders curving in a shrug as she slides her way into Janie’s space and lets her fingers brush Janie’s wrist in a touch that’s innocent, a sly, winsome smile on her face that is anything but.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.12 MB]
Surface
grim_lupine | Explicit | 14:07, 6.5 MB
Author's Summary: Johnny knows what Patrick used to do when he felt like this, before they got together: he’d find a bar, drink until the too-sharp edge under his skin sanded away; take a girl home, come back the next morning looking a little better but still unsatisfied, because he isn’t looking to be calmed. He’s looking to be caught.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
the days are young
zarathuse | Mature | 42:49
Author's Summary: After the Vancouver Olympics, Patrick and Jonny work some things out.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [19.8 MB] | m4b [21 MB]
The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All
forochel | Teen & up | 22:56
Author's Summary: It’s a little known fact that the Kane family are in possession of a genetic quirk - an x-linked recessive gene - that basically boils down to this: Kaner turns into a hedgehog one day and gets stuck.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.7 MB] | m4b [11.5 MB]
The Importance of Swimming in Clear Water
turningterrific | Explicit | 2:33:48
Author's Summary: “You weren’t answering texts.”
Jonny glances over to where his phone is face down on the table. “Oh.”
“But now that I’m here, and I know you were busily inspecting the carpet and staring out the window like a loner poet, I’m officially not worried at all.”
Or: One week during the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Games are lost, opposing captains are concussed, feelings are recognized, TV is watched, naps are shared, games are won. In other words, it's a big week.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [70.57 MB] | m4b [74 MB]
The Limited Circle
chibirhm | Teen & up | 34:09
Author's Summary: “The limited circle is pure.” - Franz Kafka (Or: Six Times Tazer Was an Introvert and Kaner Was Pretty Cool About It.)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [16 MB] | m4b [17 MB]
The slowest spark is a breather
cherryvanilla | Mature | 13:05
Author's Summary: “Did you do something to my phone?”
“Aww, Peeks, would I do that?” replies Sharpy, all fake innocence and stupidly white teeth.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a fucking saint,” Kaner mutters, searching through his phone for downloaded photos or apps or God knows what. He really needs to put a lock on the thing, especially after that crap Sharpy pulled with Duncs a few years back.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) version 1 mp3 [6 MB] ||| version 2 mp3 [6 MB]
there ain't nothing please me more than you
vlieger | Explicit | 1:08:26
Author's Summary: Kaner knows he's going to spend part of the summer with Jonny, that's a given, but he's not actually expecting it when he answers the door to his place in Buffalo and Jonny's just there.
"Hey," says Jonny, mouth curling up in a smug smirk at Kaner's look of surprise. "Wanna go fishing?"
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [31.5 MB] | m4b [33 MB]
This Love Is Be and End All
hawksjolras | Teen & up | 22:17
Author's Summary: Jonny reads. Jonny reads plenty. Jonny is college educated (sort of) and Sharpy can suck his dick, because he reads all the fucking time, okay. Except, see, he sort of doesn’t, and then Sharpy challenged him to a book club, and how do you even do that, book clubs aren’t supposed to have winners, but apparently the Blackhawks Book Club will, and PR is trying to make a thing out of it to encourage literacy and promote the library system in the city or something, so the whole team and a lot of the staff have to go find and read this book, and basically what all this means is that it’s a week before Christmas and Jonathan Toews is grumbling to himself and scowling at a shelf in the library like he wants it to be set on fire, because the shelf is missing the book he’s supposed to be reading for this stupid club that he is going to win.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.21 MB]
three hundred sandwiches
cathedralhearts | Mature | 1:25:18
Author's Summary: “Want a sandwich?” he asks, cutting Tazer off as he starts to build up into an impressive rant about the businessman he got stuck next to. Tazer nods, settling down at the island and flipping through Patrick’s mail, even though it’s incredibly rude. (Or: “There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavour out of a peanut butter sandwich.” -- Charlie Brown)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [39 MB] | m4b [41 MB]
Til You Make It
sophia_helix | Explicit | 21:57
Author's Summary: "Even if Patrick were actually bi and dumb enough to fall for Jonny, it isn't going to get him anywhere. Right now, Patrick's feeling pretty dumb, and he's had four drinks and is starting to wonder about the other part."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.2 MB] | m4b [11.1 MB]
Timed Out Man
sabrina_il | Explicit | 9:37
Author's Summary: Tazer has a problem. Kaner's just found a solution.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.4 MB]
Two-Way Forward
torigates | Explicit | 42:15
Author's Summary: "I think I’m on my phone enough as it is, you know, always texting and emailing, and people complain that I get back to them three, four days later, I’m not fast enough for that. I’m bad enough as it is, and I feel like I’m always on my phone."
Or; Five Times Pat emailed Jonny and one time he emailed her back.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [39 MB] | m4b [21 MB]
you ruined everything in the best way
thisissirius | Teen & up | 1:30:23
Author's Summary: Kaner's looking down at the kid, though, frowning. He crouches down. "Hey, kid, where are your parents?"
The kid's bottom lip juts out and starts wobbling. Fuck, that means he's going to start crying, right?
"Oh shi-oot, kid, don't cry," Kaner says. "I mean, if you don't know where they are, we can find 'em?"
"Kaner," Sharpy presses. "That's Saad."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [41.6 MB] | m4b [43.4 MB]
Why Do Birds
angelsaves | Mature | 33:02
Author's Summary: Jonathan Toews has uncomfortable feelings about Patrick Kane. He tries to be reasonable about these things. It doesn't work very well.
Permanent download link:(right-click, save-as) mp3 [15.13 MB]
Write Our Names On the Wall
twentysomething | Explicit | 1:31:55
Author's Summary: "What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’
"We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [42.19 MB] | m4b [43.88 MB]
Sid/Geno
a best friend hug
hapakitsune | Teen & up | 40:00
Author's Summary: Sidney looks from Flower's arm to their handcuffs to the little nest on the floor where he assumes Kris slept. There's a giant, empty champagne bottle on the table in front of the couch, he's pretty sure the same glitter that was on Kris's face is also on his jeans, and his head still aches.
"Okay," he says loudly, "I know I'm kind of stating the obvious here, but what the hell happened last night?"
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [18.4 MB] | m4b [19.3 MB]
Canadian Coping Mechanisms (or It Takes a Village)
iBear | Teen & up | 33:37
Author's Summary: Sid gets de-aged. The Russian clique helps? interferes in? Geno's attempts to care for him.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [15.5 MB] | m4b [16.4 MB]
cardinalis
magneticwave | Teen & up | 1:42:19
Author's Summary: Before Geno, Sid had seen approximately three places in Pittsburgh with any frequency. They were, in order of how much time he'd spent in them from greatest to least: the Lemieux house / guesthouse, the Iceoplex, and the South Side den of iniquity that Max had called his "haunt."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [47 MB] | m4b [49 MB]
Close to Water
derryderrydown | General Audiences | 13:40
Author's Summary: "I was wondering." Sid cleared his throat and looked awkward, and Geno had a moment of dread over what horror Sid was going to ask of him, before Sid said, in a rush, "Do you want to go canoeing?"
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [6.26 MB]
Four Times Sid Didn't Get What He Wanted for Christmas and One Time He Did
scribblinlenore | Teen & up | 34:02
Author's Summary: A tale of holiday fluff.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [16 MB] | m4b [16 MB]
Game Plan
thehoyden | Explicit | 59:52
Author's Summary: Unlike Nealsy, Evgeni can cook his own food when he has it. He’s perfectly capable of making breakfast. His kitchen is well-equipped, and he’s got some good basic cooking skills down. In short, he is not going to starve to death if left to his own devices. None of this seems to matter to Sid.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [28 MB] | m4b [29 MB]
Gray in the Dark
angelsaves | Mature | 57:46
Author's Summary: In which Sidney finds out that Geno is a werecat, and that he... kind of has these strange... feelings. Well, it's something to think about besides his stupid concussion, right?
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26.5 MB] | m4b [27.8 MB]
King and Lionheart
thehoyden | Explicit | 5:33:55
Author's Summary: Sidney’s wedding day doesn’t go quite as he’d planned. When he’d bothered to imagine it at all, he’d thought of a nice June wedding in Nova Scotia, outdoors with the sun streaming down. He hadn’t imagined this hurried affair on the tarmac on a rainy and unseasonably cool day in early September, a month after his twenty-fifth birthday.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [141 MB, zipped] | m4b [159 MB]
magic in the midnight sun
hapakitsune | Mature | 51:24
Author's Summary: There's a curse mark on the back of Sidney's neck.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [23.7 MB] | m4b [25 MB]
Suckered
james | Recorded with
regonym | General audiences | contains bonus James Neal/Paul Martin | 9:26
Author's Summary: James Neal is a wandering octopus. This causes not exactly the sort of problems you might expect.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.8 MB] | m4b [5.4 MB]
the work is done (now you're doing battle)
AlchemyAlice | General Audiences | 18:29, 8.4 MB
Author's Summary: Sid is still pretty sure this is a bad idea, but he keeps walking because he's given it a full twenty-four hours since the game, and now he has to do something.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
This Must Be the Place
thehoyden | Explicit | 1:45:23
Author's Summary: There’s what everyone else does, and there’s what Sidney does, and there’s not much intersection between the two.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [48 MB] | m4b [50 MB]
you'll never have to wonder
nebulia | Teen & up | 35:56
Author's Summary: Sidney is telepathic, which explains 95% of his idiosyncrasies.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [17 MB] | m4b [18 MB]
Femslash
AMANDA
aohatsu | Teen & up | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 30:52
Author's Summary: When she looks up, Amanda’s eyes are big and her face is red. Her other hand is twitching, like she wants to grab something. Her hair is spilling over her shoulders, blocking one of the USA logos from sight. Hilary presses her fingers harder into Amanda’s wrist guard, and Amanda jerks but doesn’t pull her hand away.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [14.3 MB] | m4b [15.4 MB]
Family Weekend
accidentallymelted | Teen & up | Amanda Kessel/Hilary Knight, Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann (Check Please crossover) | 10:14
Author's Summary: Bitty glances up from the kitchen - that’s a new voice - just in time to see Shitty fling himself across the room at a tall brunette girl. “Hils! Fucking shit, man, so great to see you! You didn’t say you were coming!”
OR: The one in which Hilary Knight is Shitty's big sister.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [8.58 MB]
It's Going Down (I'm Yelling Tinder)
hapakitsune | Explicit | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 19:06
Author's Summary: Hilary finds Amanda on Tinder.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [9 MB] | m4b [9.7 MB]
No One Thinks About Eternity
impertinence | Explicit | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 4:16:27
Author's Summary: It's the Griner signing that starts everything, really, propelling Amanda into the NHL; but for Amanda, the thing with Hilary starts a few years before.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [zipped, 108 MB] ||| M4B [122 MB]
put the heart in my chest on wings
scintilla10 | Teen & up | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 27:07
Author's Summary: Amanda hadn't come to Boston to relive the frustrating Olympics, or to cry on Hilary's shoulder. She was here to spend four days away from her parents' house. She was here to watch Hilary play breath-taking hockey, and she was not going to dwell on the fact that she wasn't playing herself. Also, she was maybe, possibly, going to see if she was right about the impression she had that Hilary might be into her, too.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [13 MB] | M4B [14 MB]
tomorrow seems a year away
cottoneyed | Teen & up | Hilary Knight/Genevieve Lacasse | 58:15
Author's Summary: Probably lots of American hockey players invite Canadian hockey players to train with them over the summer. God, she's going to get kicked off the squad.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26.9 MB] | m4b [28.26 MB]
Other Slash & gen
Foursquare
james | Teen & up | Sidney Crosby/Patrick Kane/Evgeni Malkin/Jonathan Toews | 14:01
Summary: Patrick never expected to have three names on his wrist.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [6.42 MB]
Marriage is What Brings Us Together
james | General Audiences | James Neal/Paul Martin | 17:08
Summary: James gets a letter which makes him realise all kinds of things he didn't know. Like that he might be married to Paulie.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [7.85 MB]
The Secret Ingredient
teshumai | General audiences | Carey Price/P. K. Subban | 7:21
Author's Summary: "Cooking is love made edible." A short piece for the getting_good_wood magical realism prompt.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [3.37 MB]
Olympic Bros
coggs | General Audiences | Kaner & Oshie & Toews gen | 5:23
Summary: Jonny knew TJ was rooming with Kaner at the Olympics because TJ had texted him “rooming with ya boy!” followed by five emoticon thumbs up when they had found out. Kaner had spent the last month trying to get Jonny to tell him the worst things about TJ “other than the obvious.”
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.46 MB]
SPN podfic can be found here. SPN/CW RPF podfic can be found here. Avengers/Marvel podfic can be found here. Other fandoms (including Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra & Idol RPF) can be found here.
Permanent download links courtesy of paraka
All Audiofic Archive links courtesy of general_jinjur
Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane
A Hollow Nest to Dream In
celli | Teen & up | 5:46
Author's Summary: Emotionally constipated dudes expressing love through making out and deciding to have a kid. In front of the Stanley Cup. #thatsit #thatsthefic
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.65 MB]
A Very Kaner Christmas
hawksjolras | Teen & up | 1:26:31
Author's Summary: Patrick blurts, “I need you to be my Christmas boyfriend.” “No,” Jonny says. He sounds confused, but in Patrick’s defense, it was a pretty straightforward request. Like, there’s only so much a guy can do. (A lighthearted Christmas fic featuring a twin size bed, a hand knit scarf, a light-up Rudolph sweater, and a truly embarrassing amount of pining.)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [40 MB] | m4b [41.5 MB]
According to Plan
rsadelle | Mature | 14:41, 6.7 MB
Author's Summary: So then Pat stops and thinks about it. Because they've talked about how their kids are going to play hockey together and how Jonny can take them golfing and how Pat is never allowed to name a kid after Kanye, no matter how awesome he is. But he's never actually said that the kids they're talking about are going to be his and Jonny's together. He always thought that part was obvious.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
All that junk inside those trunks
mermaid | Teen & up | 20:47
Author's Summary: Making sure to stand in profile, Jon watches Kaner take in the sight of him in the too-tight swim trunks. Kaner's fingers twitch at his sides and his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, but Jon can't read his expression.
"Jeez," Kaner says after a moment. "It's like two bowling balls stuffed inside a tube sock."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [9.6 MB] | m4b [10.2 MB]
all your favourite foods
torigates | Mature | 36:27
Author's Summary: Jonny sent Pat a picture of him fishing. Naturally, things escalated from there.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [16.8 MB] | m4b [17.8 MB]
Be Thou My Ally
ingenius | Explicit | 40:52
Author's Summary: Patrick is a priest of Aphrodite and Jonathan has a debt to pay.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [19 MB] | m4b [20 MB]
Better Off With You
tictactoews | Teen & up | 1:05:53
Author's Summary: Tazer has always seemed prickly on the outside, but he takes it to a whole new level when he turns into an actual hedgehog and becomes dependent on Patrick's care.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [30 MB] | m4b [32 MB]
Bluehawk
aohatsu | Explicit | 1:26:59
Author's Summary: Jo sleeps with Kaner for the second time when she’s twenty-one and gets drunk off her ass in a bar in Vancouver.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [40 MB] | m4b [41.65 MB]
call it magic
thundersquall | Teen & up | 59:22
Author's Summary: “It’s the faerie blood in me,” Patrick explains.
Jonny is just not equipped to deal with this shit.
OR, on March 17, Patrick turns into a faerie.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [27 MB]
Clean and Shirk
mermaid | Teen & up | 4:36
Author's Summary: "I don't see why I have to help clean," Patrick says, even as he stacks the scattered DVD cases into a neat pile. He's bent over the coffee table, and Johnny takes a moment to admire the view of his ass in those shorts. "First of all, you're the messy one."
This is partly true, Johnny has to admit. But still: "Messier," he corrects, from where he's standing in front of the open fridge. "You're no neat freak yourself, man - most of this old takeout is yours."
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.1 MB]
defrost, debauch, destroy
psocoptera | Mature | 5:24
Author's Summary: Beneath the ice, dread things lie dreaming. Or listening to One Direction, whatever.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.5 MB]
do it like they do on the discovery channel
hazel | Explicit | 1:04:13
Author's Summary: It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [29.5 MB] | m4b [30.7 MB]
Dude, Where's the Stanley Cup?!
svmadelyn | Mature | 1:18:14
Author's Summary: Johnny lands in Saskatoon at noon, and is shocked to see Kaner hovering furtively at Johnny's gate exit. He's wearing a baggy gray hoodie and obnoxiously huge sunglasses and he doesn't look like he's showered in at least three days. Johnny is somehow still relieved to see him.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [36 MB] | m4b [37.8 MB]
engagement sex
torigates | Mature | 2:41
Author's Summary: Written for the prompt "engagement sex."
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [1.23 MB]
For they are rain upon the binding dust of earth
ingenius | Explicit | 23:39
Author's Summary: Sometimes, Patrick cries during sex.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.8 MB]
Good hands
mermaid | Explicit | 58:36
Author's Summary: "I think you owe me more than just a blowjob, Patrick," the physical therapist says. "I could have just worked on your wrist, but I gave you the full treatment."
"Because you chose to," Kaner protests.
"Yes, I did. And now I can choose what I get from you in return...can't I?" From the careful tone and the intent expression, Kaner suspects that Jonny's asking instead of - or as well as - the therapist. It's hard to keep track now. He's so fucking turned on that it's a challenge to hold his head up, let alone think straight.
"Yeah, man, you can," Kaner tells whoever needs to know.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [27 MB] | M4B [28 MB]
high roller
demotu | Explicit | 13:23
Author's Summary: “I’m not doing you in the seats,” Pat says, tilting his head back to grin up at Jonny’s red face. “Turn around.” [timestamp for put your money where your mouth is]
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [6.13 MB]
Hooked on a Feeling
pyrodynamo | Teen & up | 26:12
Author's Summary: The one where Patrick is not exactly Bella Swan and Jonathan is definitely not Sparkly Whatshisname. OR, THE WERE-PUG AU.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [12 MB] | m4b [13 MB]
i dreamed of you at nighttime
vlieger | Cover art by fishpatrol | Teen & up | 40:15
Author's Summary: Kaner is pumped to be rooming by himself after five years with Tazer. Only then shit gets weird.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [19 MB] | m4b [19 MB]
i should say and you should hear
staraflur | Explicit | 1:12:40
Author's Summary: So yeah, it takes a few days, but eventually Jonny gets to deliver the gospel of winning a faceoff by interfering directly with your opponent’s stick. (Heh.)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [33 MB] | m4b [35 MB]
if you feel me put your hands high
vlieger | Explicit | 17:53
Author's Summary: Obligatory post-lockout porn. With super-indulgent bonus feelings, sorry.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [8.19 MB]
Illuminate
sophia_helix | Explicit | 18:00
Author's Summary: Jonny likes to sunbathe naked.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [8.5 MB] | m4b [9.6 MB]
Instincts
grim_lupine | Explicit | 23:20, 10.7 MB
Author's Summary: They don’t talk about what happens during the moon; and they don’t talk about how Patrick drives over sometimes to curl up on the couch and put his head in Johnny’s lap, jittery all over until he gets the anchoring weight of Johnny’s hand on the back of his neck; and they don’t talk about how Johnny calls him some nights and says, “Come over,” and Patrick does, because Johnny’s head is pounding with the need to get Patrick where he can see him, breathe in the scent of him, know he’s there and well. If they don’t talk about it they can just keep having whatever they need from each other; and that’s what they’ll do, because Johnny is Patrick’s alpha and Patrick needs him to be that for him. For Johnny, it’s always been more.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
Into Each Life Some Rain Will Fall Like Cat Piss In Your Shoes
james | Teen & up | 8:31
Author's Summary: Johnny is waiting for Patrick to get home from Switzerland. What he gets is a surprise.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [3.9 MB]
just keep it on the down low
zarathuse | Mature | 15:33
Author's Summary: That night, to shut Jonny up, Patrick spends most of dinner talking loudly about the super hot blonde he met in the hotel lobby last night. He tries to keep it convincing but tame because Patrick’s learned the hard way that even though this was Jonny’s idea, he’ll be pissy the rest of the night if Patrick sounds too believable.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [7.12 MB]
Keep Calm and Don't Think of Star Wars
cherryvanilla | Teen & up | 1:15:58
Author's Summary: After I once again assure Abby that Johnny and I are not, NOT related (by googling the difference between half-brother and stepbrother because jesus fucking christ am I am the only knowledgeable one around here?), she agrees to help.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [35 MB] | m4b [36 MB]
Kiss and Ride on the CTA
hikaru | Explicit | 52:39
Author's Summary: Pat is never, ever forgiving Smitty. Now, every time he sees that Canadian douchebag on the train, his brain mentally reminds him that the guy has a name, that he’s Jonathan and he probably grows his own fucking kale while reading original source texts about the French Revolution. His brain also keeps supplying Pat with reminders that the guy is really remarkably good looking.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [24 MB] | m4b [25.6 MB]
let's make it plural
ellot | Mature | 2:26:21
Author's Summary: Tazer and Kaner are dating. Too bad they don't know it. Yet.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [62 MB, zipped] | m4b [70 MB]
light 'em up
radioaches | Explicit | 6:46
Author's Summary: The night before is mostly just a blur of booze and yelling and celebrating, but Patrick is pretty sure he fell asleep in the middle of giving Jonny a two times Stanley Cup winner handjob.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [3.1 MB]
like you want me to
radioaches and ellievolia | Explicit | 39:33
Author's Summary: So it's easy, when they're drunk and high on winning, and they've been dancing for a while, and Kaner is so so close and breathing heavily against her ear. It's so easy to say, "Wanna go back to mine?"
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [18.11 MB]
On the Line
queeniegalore | Explicit | 2:44:34
Author's Summary: AKA the one with the phone sex. In which Kaner finds out Jonny wants to fuck him and is pretty okay with that turn of events. Phone sex, picnic baskets, crazy eyes, hockey and insanity ensue.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [69 MB, zipped] | m4b [77 MB]
Orbital Resonance
fourfreedoms & joyfulseeker | Explicit | 7:39:08
Author's Summary: Sublimation
1. Passing from one phase to another without transitioning through an intermediate phase.
2. Where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are consciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse.
Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews should probably have figured out the first time what this type of behavior meant.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [195 MB, zipped] | m4b [218 MB]
our song is the way you laugh
thenorthface | Mature | 59:06
Author's Summary: “Okay,” Kaner says quickly. There’s no letting Jonny change his mind. He’ll look disgusting with a mullet. It’ll be beautiful. Maybe he’ll make little kids on the street cry. “You’ve got a deal. I’ll pretend to date you, and you’ll wear a mullet until we’re hopefully lifting the Cup again or until we’re otherwise eliminated. Horrible photos, probing questions in press conferences and all.”
“Fine,” Jonny says. “Deal.”
His palm is warm under Kaner’s when they shake on it.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [27MB] | m4b [28.5 MB]
Penalties in Minutes
fahye | Explicit | 35:49
Author's Summary: And yeah, maybe Patrick has ranted at him a bit about how you can't always treat sex like a powerplay, Jonathan, but Pat knows as well as Jon that the best plays fall in that sweet spot between preparation and inspiration.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [17 MB]
Pure Destroyer
jukeboxghost | Explicit | 35:46
Author's Summary: Jonny's bent over in front of the fridge, fussing about and making the glass bottles clank together. His back is sleek. The waistband of his boxers is all jacked up at the back, little white label sticking up. Patrick wants to fuck him cross-eyed.
Permanent download link:(right-click, save-as) mp3 [16.38 MB]
put your money where your mouth is
demotu | Explicit | 56:48
Author's Summary: Honestly, Pat isn't sure how they got here. He's had a lot to drink, and they've been engaged in about four hours of what was Mario Kart war but turned into an epic Smash Bros. tournament, and somewhere along the way bets that required badges of honour were made, except instead of badges of honour somebody-okay, probably Pat-decided they were to be badges of shame, and somebody-again, probably Pat-decided the winner got to mark the loser so everybody could heckle him until it faded.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26 MB] | m4b [27 MB]
Q and A
jezzyjay | Teen & up | 10:14
Author's Summary: "Which would you rather,” Patrick says one rainy night in November. “Be able to run a hundred miles an hour or be able to fly?”
Jonny turns in the bed a little. “Why isn't one of those options go to sleep?”
Patrick sighs. “Bear with me, Jonny. I'm going somewhere with this.”
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.7 MB]
Racy
scribblinlenore | Explicit | 31:50
Author's Summary: Patrick flipped on the water, kicked off his underwear and-jolted to a stop, staring at himself in the mirror. He had racing stripes. Down below. For a moment, he honestly couldn't think how they'd gotten there. Had the awesomeness fairy visited him?
In which Patrick drunk dares Jonny, and Jonny rises to the challenge, and Patrick finds it a little hot. Okay, a lot hot.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [14.5 MB]
rinse, repeat
zara_t | Teen & up | 24:31
Author's Summary: Patrick shook his head again, holding up a finger like he was about to make an important point. “I have a better idea,” he said. “We’re gonna fix your hair.”
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [11.3 MB] | m4b [12 MB]
Shut Up Honey
aohatsu | Teen & up | 1:07:09
Author's Summary: It's just a little frustrating, that Patricia can be so good at their sport, and then still look the way she does.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [31 MB] | m4b [32 MB]
Sign it with your heart
tictactoews | Teen & up | 56:22
Author's Summary: Patrick loses a bet and is dared to plant an anonymous love letter into a random locker. It just so happens that the locker belongs to one Jonathan Toews, captain of the school hockey team. Meanwhile, Jonny finds himself in need of a math tutor, and following the advice of his teacher, he asks the new kid, Patrick Kane, for help.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26 MB] | m4b [27 MB]
Soft
altri_uccelli | Teen & up | 48:31
Author's Summary: Uhhhh, hedgehog Kaner in Switzerland.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [22.4 MB] | m4b [23.4 MB]
some say love is a burning thing.
cherryvanilla | Explicit | 33:37
Author's Summary: If anyone had told Johnny upon entering the NHL that thirteen years later he'd not only have a kid with Patrick Kane, but would be getting ready to go on a 'date night,’ he'd have said they must be smoking some pretty good shit. And then he'd have to wait a decade to eat his words.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [15.4 MB]
something old, something new
longtime_lurker | Explicit | 1:51:24
Author's Summary: Jonny's standard canned press response is that he loves Kaner like a sister...which is perfectly true, if you’re talking like on Game of Thrones.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [51 MB] | m4b [53 MB]
Somewhere Only We Know
jezzyjay | Mature | 2:17:00
Author's Summary: Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis.
Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [64 MB]
Space Kaner
celli | Mature | 18:05
Author's Summary: Patrick has an extra toe from an unfortunate accident as a child and an inconvenient crush on his commanding officer. It gets worse from there.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [8.28 MB]
Strings Definitely Attached
grim_lupine | Mature | 8:59
Author's Summary: “It’d be convenient, and it makes sense,” Pat says when she brings it up, her shoulders curving in a shrug as she slides her way into Janie’s space and lets her fingers brush Janie’s wrist in a touch that’s innocent, a sly, winsome smile on her face that is anything but.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.12 MB]
Surface
grim_lupine | Explicit | 14:07, 6.5 MB
Author's Summary: Johnny knows what Patrick used to do when he felt like this, before they got together: he’d find a bar, drink until the too-sharp edge under his skin sanded away; take a girl home, come back the next morning looking a little better but still unsatisfied, because he isn’t looking to be calmed. He’s looking to be caught.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
the days are young
zarathuse | Mature | 42:49
Author's Summary: After the Vancouver Olympics, Patrick and Jonny work some things out.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [19.8 MB] | m4b [21 MB]
The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All
forochel | Teen & up | 22:56
Author's Summary: It’s a little known fact that the Kane family are in possession of a genetic quirk - an x-linked recessive gene - that basically boils down to this: Kaner turns into a hedgehog one day and gets stuck.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.7 MB] | m4b [11.5 MB]
The Importance of Swimming in Clear Water
turningterrific | Explicit | 2:33:48
Author's Summary: “You weren’t answering texts.”
Jonny glances over to where his phone is face down on the table. “Oh.”
“But now that I’m here, and I know you were busily inspecting the carpet and staring out the window like a loner poet, I’m officially not worried at all.”
Or: One week during the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Games are lost, opposing captains are concussed, feelings are recognized, TV is watched, naps are shared, games are won. In other words, it's a big week.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [70.57 MB] | m4b [74 MB]
The Limited Circle
chibirhm | Teen & up | 34:09
Author's Summary: “The limited circle is pure.” - Franz Kafka (Or: Six Times Tazer Was an Introvert and Kaner Was Pretty Cool About It.)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [16 MB] | m4b [17 MB]
The slowest spark is a breather
cherryvanilla | Mature | 13:05
Author's Summary: “Did you do something to my phone?”
“Aww, Peeks, would I do that?” replies Sharpy, all fake innocence and stupidly white teeth.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a fucking saint,” Kaner mutters, searching through his phone for downloaded photos or apps or God knows what. He really needs to put a lock on the thing, especially after that crap Sharpy pulled with Duncs a few years back.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) version 1 mp3 [6 MB] ||| version 2 mp3 [6 MB]
there ain't nothing please me more than you
vlieger | Explicit | 1:08:26
Author's Summary: Kaner knows he's going to spend part of the summer with Jonny, that's a given, but he's not actually expecting it when he answers the door to his place in Buffalo and Jonny's just there.
"Hey," says Jonny, mouth curling up in a smug smirk at Kaner's look of surprise. "Wanna go fishing?"
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [31.5 MB] | m4b [33 MB]
This Love Is Be and End All
hawksjolras | Teen & up | 22:17
Author's Summary: Jonny reads. Jonny reads plenty. Jonny is college educated (sort of) and Sharpy can suck his dick, because he reads all the fucking time, okay. Except, see, he sort of doesn’t, and then Sharpy challenged him to a book club, and how do you even do that, book clubs aren’t supposed to have winners, but apparently the Blackhawks Book Club will, and PR is trying to make a thing out of it to encourage literacy and promote the library system in the city or something, so the whole team and a lot of the staff have to go find and read this book, and basically what all this means is that it’s a week before Christmas and Jonathan Toews is grumbling to himself and scowling at a shelf in the library like he wants it to be set on fire, because the shelf is missing the book he’s supposed to be reading for this stupid club that he is going to win.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.21 MB]
three hundred sandwiches
cathedralhearts | Mature | 1:25:18
Author's Summary: “Want a sandwich?” he asks, cutting Tazer off as he starts to build up into an impressive rant about the businessman he got stuck next to. Tazer nods, settling down at the island and flipping through Patrick’s mail, even though it’s incredibly rude. (Or: “There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavour out of a peanut butter sandwich.” -- Charlie Brown)
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [39 MB] | m4b [41 MB]
Til You Make It
sophia_helix | Explicit | 21:57
Author's Summary: "Even if Patrick were actually bi and dumb enough to fall for Jonny, it isn't going to get him anywhere. Right now, Patrick's feeling pretty dumb, and he's had four drinks and is starting to wonder about the other part."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [10.2 MB] | m4b [11.1 MB]
Timed Out Man
sabrina_il | Explicit | 9:37
Author's Summary: Tazer has a problem. Kaner's just found a solution.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.4 MB]
Two-Way Forward
torigates | Explicit | 42:15
Author's Summary: "I think I’m on my phone enough as it is, you know, always texting and emailing, and people complain that I get back to them three, four days later, I’m not fast enough for that. I’m bad enough as it is, and I feel like I’m always on my phone."
Or; Five Times Pat emailed Jonny and one time he emailed her back.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [39 MB] | m4b [21 MB]
you ruined everything in the best way
thisissirius | Teen & up | 1:30:23
Author's Summary: Kaner's looking down at the kid, though, frowning. He crouches down. "Hey, kid, where are your parents?"
The kid's bottom lip juts out and starts wobbling. Fuck, that means he's going to start crying, right?
"Oh shi-oot, kid, don't cry," Kaner says. "I mean, if you don't know where they are, we can find 'em?"
"Kaner," Sharpy presses. "That's Saad."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [41.6 MB] | m4b [43.4 MB]
Why Do Birds
angelsaves | Mature | 33:02
Author's Summary: Jonathan Toews has uncomfortable feelings about Patrick Kane. He tries to be reasonable about these things. It doesn't work very well.
Permanent download link:(right-click, save-as) mp3 [15.13 MB]
Write Our Names On the Wall
twentysomething | Explicit | 1:31:55
Author's Summary: "What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’
"We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [42.19 MB] | m4b [43.88 MB]
Sid/Geno
a best friend hug
hapakitsune | Teen & up | 40:00
Author's Summary: Sidney looks from Flower's arm to their handcuffs to the little nest on the floor where he assumes Kris slept. There's a giant, empty champagne bottle on the table in front of the couch, he's pretty sure the same glitter that was on Kris's face is also on his jeans, and his head still aches.
"Okay," he says loudly, "I know I'm kind of stating the obvious here, but what the hell happened last night?"
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [18.4 MB] | m4b [19.3 MB]
Canadian Coping Mechanisms (or It Takes a Village)
iBear | Teen & up | 33:37
Author's Summary: Sid gets de-aged. The Russian clique helps? interferes in? Geno's attempts to care for him.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [15.5 MB] | m4b [16.4 MB]
cardinalis
magneticwave | Teen & up | 1:42:19
Author's Summary: Before Geno, Sid had seen approximately three places in Pittsburgh with any frequency. They were, in order of how much time he'd spent in them from greatest to least: the Lemieux house / guesthouse, the Iceoplex, and the South Side den of iniquity that Max had called his "haunt."
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [47 MB] | m4b [49 MB]
Close to Water
derryderrydown | General Audiences | 13:40
Author's Summary: "I was wondering." Sid cleared his throat and looked awkward, and Geno had a moment of dread over what horror Sid was going to ask of him, before Sid said, in a rush, "Do you want to go canoeing?"
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [6.26 MB]
Four Times Sid Didn't Get What He Wanted for Christmas and One Time He Did
scribblinlenore | Teen & up | 34:02
Author's Summary: A tale of holiday fluff.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [16 MB] | m4b [16 MB]
Game Plan
thehoyden | Explicit | 59:52
Author's Summary: Unlike Nealsy, Evgeni can cook his own food when he has it. He’s perfectly capable of making breakfast. His kitchen is well-equipped, and he’s got some good basic cooking skills down. In short, he is not going to starve to death if left to his own devices. None of this seems to matter to Sid.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [28 MB] | m4b [29 MB]
Gray in the Dark
angelsaves | Mature | 57:46
Author's Summary: In which Sidney finds out that Geno is a werecat, and that he... kind of has these strange... feelings. Well, it's something to think about besides his stupid concussion, right?
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26.5 MB] | m4b [27.8 MB]
King and Lionheart
thehoyden | Explicit | 5:33:55
Author's Summary: Sidney’s wedding day doesn’t go quite as he’d planned. When he’d bothered to imagine it at all, he’d thought of a nice June wedding in Nova Scotia, outdoors with the sun streaming down. He hadn’t imagined this hurried affair on the tarmac on a rainy and unseasonably cool day in early September, a month after his twenty-fifth birthday.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [141 MB, zipped] | m4b [159 MB]
magic in the midnight sun
hapakitsune | Mature | 51:24
Author's Summary: There's a curse mark on the back of Sidney's neck.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [23.7 MB] | m4b [25 MB]
Suckered
james | Recorded with
regonym | General audiences | contains bonus James Neal/Paul Martin | 9:26
Author's Summary: James Neal is a wandering octopus. This causes not exactly the sort of problems you might expect.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [4.8 MB] | m4b [5.4 MB]
the work is done (now you're doing battle)
AlchemyAlice | General Audiences | 18:29, 8.4 MB
Author's Summary: Sid is still pretty sure this is a bad idea, but he keeps walking because he's given it a full twenty-four hours since the game, and now he has to do something.
Permanent download link: mp3 [right-click, save-as]
This Must Be the Place
thehoyden | Explicit | 1:45:23
Author's Summary: There’s what everyone else does, and there’s what Sidney does, and there’s not much intersection between the two.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [48 MB] | m4b [50 MB]
you'll never have to wonder
nebulia | Teen & up | 35:56
Author's Summary: Sidney is telepathic, which explains 95% of his idiosyncrasies.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [17 MB] | m4b [18 MB]
Femslash
AMANDA
aohatsu | Teen & up | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 30:52
Author's Summary: When she looks up, Amanda’s eyes are big and her face is red. Her other hand is twitching, like she wants to grab something. Her hair is spilling over her shoulders, blocking one of the USA logos from sight. Hilary presses her fingers harder into Amanda’s wrist guard, and Amanda jerks but doesn’t pull her hand away.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [14.3 MB] | m4b [15.4 MB]
Family Weekend
accidentallymelted | Teen & up | Amanda Kessel/Hilary Knight, Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann (Check Please crossover) | 10:14
Author's Summary: Bitty glances up from the kitchen - that’s a new voice - just in time to see Shitty fling himself across the room at a tall brunette girl. “Hils! Fucking shit, man, so great to see you! You didn’t say you were coming!”
OR: The one in which Hilary Knight is Shitty's big sister.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [8.58 MB]
It's Going Down (I'm Yelling Tinder)
hapakitsune | Explicit | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 19:06
Author's Summary: Hilary finds Amanda on Tinder.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [9 MB] | m4b [9.7 MB]
No One Thinks About Eternity
impertinence | Explicit | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 4:16:27
Author's Summary: It's the Griner signing that starts everything, really, propelling Amanda into the NHL; but for Amanda, the thing with Hilary starts a few years before.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [zipped, 108 MB] ||| M4B [122 MB]
put the heart in my chest on wings
scintilla10 | Teen & up | Hilary Knight/Amanda Kessel | 27:07
Author's Summary: Amanda hadn't come to Boston to relive the frustrating Olympics, or to cry on Hilary's shoulder. She was here to spend four days away from her parents' house. She was here to watch Hilary play breath-taking hockey, and she was not going to dwell on the fact that she wasn't playing herself. Also, she was maybe, possibly, going to see if she was right about the impression she had that Hilary might be into her, too.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [13 MB] | M4B [14 MB]
tomorrow seems a year away
cottoneyed | Teen & up | Hilary Knight/Genevieve Lacasse | 58:15
Author's Summary: Probably lots of American hockey players invite Canadian hockey players to train with them over the summer. God, she's going to get kicked off the squad.
Permanent download links: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [26.9 MB] | m4b [28.26 MB]
Other Slash & gen
Foursquare
james | Teen & up | Sidney Crosby/Patrick Kane/Evgeni Malkin/Jonathan Toews | 14:01
Summary: Patrick never expected to have three names on his wrist.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [6.42 MB]
Marriage is What Brings Us Together
james | General Audiences | James Neal/Paul Martin | 17:08
Summary: James gets a letter which makes him realise all kinds of things he didn't know. Like that he might be married to Paulie.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [7.85 MB]
The Secret Ingredient
teshumai | General audiences | Carey Price/P. K. Subban | 7:21
Author's Summary: "Cooking is love made edible." A short piece for the getting_good_wood magical realism prompt.
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) MP3 [3.37 MB]
Olympic Bros
coggs | General Audiences | Kaner & Oshie & Toews gen | 5:23
Summary: Jonny knew TJ was rooming with Kaner at the Olympics because TJ had texted him “rooming with ya boy!” followed by five emoticon thumbs up when they had found out. Kaner had spent the last month trying to get Jonny to tell him the worst things about TJ “other than the obvious.”
Permanent download link: (right-click, save-as) mp3 [2.46 MB]