but angst is good too, right?
I have devoted about a year of my life (from start to finish, not of solid time) to the completion of this little thing. Parting with it is kind of like dying.
Not crack this time.
Love and War
Pairing: Yuushi/Gakuto
Summary: Sometimes, romance just isn't possible. Sometimes, there are things that you have to do.
Warning: AU. Fade-to-black. If you're looking for hugs and cuddles, please move along. :(
Word Count: 1,723
Yuushi knew, the moment he first set eyes on him. He knew, from the moment he spotted that unfamiliar flash of red glinting in the mess hall's stark lighting, from the moment he saw that fair-skinned face reflected in the chrome.
The newcomer had a toothy grin and a flirty wink, and even though it was his first day a good-sized crowd already surrounded him. They were all laughing. The newbies hadn't laughed since their first firefight, almost a month ago. The sound was like honey, drawing him in.
Yuushi perched on the edge of the long bench across the table from him and watched the boy's face in the stainless steel surface of the table. His gaze slowly traversed its way up, noting the pale hands as they almost eagerly lathered french fries in ketchup, observing the thin shoulders under the dark folds of the army uniform. He watched the flickers of the boy's eyes through his lashes as he laughed, watched as they lingered on things like the ingredients label of the milk carton, on commonplaces.
---
The next day, Yuushi had managed a seat one place closer to the boy. He could hear his voice over the normal din, could hear the slight stumble over certain words. Commonplaces. Could hear those stumbles, always caught and cleverly covered in sarcasm and laughter.
Yuushi learned that his name was Mukahi Gakuto.
Watching those long fingers smother a tater tot in barbeque sauce, he was caught almost off guard when the alarms went off, shrieking their alert with red strobe lights to punctuate. Yuushi was on his feet in split seconds, and not far after him was the redheaded boy. Surprising reflexes for a new recruit. Some of the less seasoned were still sitting, half cringing, hands over ears.
"Where do we go?" Mukahi asked, looking up at him.
"Can you shoot?" Yuushi asked him.
"With anything," Mukahi replied, and flashed that toothy grin.
Yuushi's eyes slid over the calluses on his palms, then nodded.
---
When the echoes of the last shots had died down and the casualties had been counted, the two of them sat side by side in the hospital wing with the rest of the lightly injured, a tub of salve between them.
"Nice aim," Yuushi drawled softly, letting the redhead smooth the cream into his arm. He felt the taser burn fade, until with a wisp of Healing steam it completely disappeared.
"It was nothing," the redhead murmured, grinning, looking up from lashes tinted the tiniest bit dark red in the fluorescent glare. Yuushi realized with amusement that the color must be natural, if it was in his eyelashes. "Thanks for covering me," Mukahi added, and paused, waiting.
"Oshitari Yuushi," he said, and smirked and adjusted his glasses--unscratched from the fighting, as usual--before leaving without a further word.
---
Sometimes Yuushi looked for him in the hallways from beneath his dark fringe. There he always was, a step ahead, perfectly natural, never without company. Sometimes he would turn his head, and Yuushi could feel Mukahi's eyes on him as if he knew he was looking.
At lunch, Yuushi had moved a place closer again. He watched Mukahi's pale hands as they drowned chicken strips in honey, leaving fingers sticky with sugar. They locked eyes for the tiniest moment, before turning away in the same half-second. But Yuushi didn't miss the way Mukahi's gaze still lingered on things, like the delicate packaging of the plastic straw wrappers. On commonplaces.
---
Mukahi was the best rookie marksman in the bunker, and the instructors praised him for the speed of his learning. Whatever title 'rookie' was, it belied the subtle familiarity of his fingers on the trigger. Yuushi saw that, though no one else did.
But Mukahi's accuracy, reflexes, and charm got him a space on the guard roster, a privilege few newbies ever received. Yuushi volunteered to partner him, and used his own charm shamelessly to secure that spot. It wasn't hard--nobody wanted to guard the west side at sunset anyway, even though it overlooked the Wall.
---
Eyes wide, Mukahi watched the Wall when they first went out, and Yuushi watched Mukahi.
"It's so white," he said, staring up at its pale expanse. The sun was setting at the crown of the Wall, hundreds of meters above, and its immense shadow was creeping slowly to their position. Across the empty ground before them, the graffitied bottom lip was already pooled in darkness, only broken by spotlights and the glint of barbed wire.
"It's been here for decades, and stretches for miles," Yuushi said amusedly, lashes lowering at the awe plain across Mukahi's face. "It's as old as the war. You've never seen it?"
"Not from--" he started, but cut off sharply. "No, never." His eyes ran hungrily across its surface, a surface so white that it glowed even in the shadow.
"They say it's black as pitch on the other side," Yuushi breathed, and watched some nameless expression flit across Mukahi's face.
"I've heard that too," Mukahi replied, and didn't look back.
---
"Yuushi," Mukahi said, the name sliding from his lips like skin on silk. "How's the gravy?"
The taller boy looked up from his tray at the sound of his first name, catching the redhead's eyes. "You're being awfully familiar, don't you think?" he asked. But, after days of moving only one seat closer at a time, he was finally sitting right across from Mukahi. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
"You can call me Gakuto if you want," Mukahi said, and flashed him one of those toothy grins.
Yuushi looked at him for a too-long moment, "All right then. Gakuto." It came out in his slow drawl, like molasses. "And it tastes fine today." His eyes dropped to watch Mukahi smother his beef bites in the thick gravy, pale fingers flickering. Mukahi was watching him when Yuushi looked back up at his face.
---
They had guard duty again. Mukahi watched the immense whiteness of the Wall in wonder, for once not subtly poised to toss a grin, or fight.
Looking at his hands, pale fingers lax where they rested on the railing, Yuushi didn't think he'd ever seen him so vulnerable.
"Yuushi," he murmured, eyes fixed on the crest of the Wall, so high above them, "can you even believe it was created by human hands?"
Yuushi looked at him slowly. "It wasn't. It was built by the other side's artificial beings. Everyone knows that."
Mukahi's eyes snapped to him, angry, his fingers on the railing now white-knuckled. "Artificial beings? What do you mean?"
A sinking suspicion forming in his mind, Yuushi said softly, "That's the whole reason the war was started, Gakuto. They created artificial humans, and they attacked us. We fight to stop them. It's unethical."
"Unethical?!" Mukahi spat, bristling, seemingly unaware of how dangerous it was to tread such traitorous territory. "Have they ever talked to one of these--these--artificial beings? How can they dictate things like that?"
Something in Yuushi saddened, and he looked with a new eye at the unnatural paleness of Mukahi's skin, the brightness of eye, the startling color to his hair. Watching him tremble with emotion, staring desperately up at the Wall, Yuushi felt a stirring. An emotion he couldn't place was welling up in his chest, tightening.
Mukahi's pale fingers gripped the rail, and Yuushi's own tanned ones reached out to cover them.
---
Yuushi still sat right in front of Gakuto in the mess hall, and today watched him soak his onion rings in vinegar and oil.
"I like you, Yuushi," Gakuto said, popping one into his mouth. The tips of his fingers glistened. "You're smart."
"I try," Yuushi said, smirking.
"You know a lot of things," Gakuto said, smirking back. His eyes bored into Yuushi's, like accusations. Yuushi met them squarely, and smiled.
---
That night, Gakuto's gaze up at the Wall wasn't quite so desperate, more resigned. The sunset slanted across his face, made his hair shine with a fierce, fiery light and his skin with an ethereal glow. Yuushi thought idly that he was beautiful.
"Yuushi," Gakuto said, pulling his eyes away from the Wall's whiteness. Hesitation was written in every line of his body, and Yuushi could already hear the words, I'm not who you think I am.
"I already knew, Gakuto," Yuushi whispered, and leaned forward.
Their lips met slowly, in a searing burn that made moans tumble out of both their throats. Gakuto's fingers were pale, tangled in Yuushi's uniform jacket. His hair was red silk, spilling across flushed cheeks. It was a sea of contrast and sensation, and though Yuushi knew its dangers, he still couldn't stop himself from drowning.
---
The next morning, Gakuto's pale limbs hid in the folds of pale sheets, and his bright hair spread boldly across the pillow. Yuushi stared sleepily for a long time at his eyelashes, soft and red-tinted and feathering across his cheeks, before sitting up, and leaving the bed. Pulling the uniform on--dark creases that felt nothing like the slide of Gakuto's pale skin--Yuushi felt a heaviness in his chest, and knew what he had to do.
"Yuushi," Gakuto said, and Yuushi jerked and turned and saw that Gakuto's eyes were open. "What will you do now?" he asked.
Yuushi buttoned up the shirt all the way, to the top button, and adjusted the collar. "What I have to," he said. The words fell slowly from his mouth. Like molasses.
"I knew you would." The other boy rolled over, twisting himself in the sheets. "Eventually."
"I've always loved romance," Yuushi said, and it was almost an apology.
"Then come away with me," Gakuto laughed.
Yuushi looked down at the uniform jacket in his hands, then up at Gakuto for a long, aching moment. "I... can't do that."
Gakuto's smile was resigned, and just a little bit self-mocking, before he swung his eyes to the ceiling. "I know."
Yuushi pulled his jacket on, and left the room, in silence. Gakuto wasn't watching him go.
---
The trial was scheduled for the next day, and the execution for the day after.
Yuushi felt the two shining new gold stars on his collar, and couldn't quite find it in himself to feel satisfied.
Not crack this time.
Love and War
Pairing: Yuushi/Gakuto
Summary: Sometimes, romance just isn't possible. Sometimes, there are things that you have to do.
Warning: AU. Fade-to-black. If you're looking for hugs and cuddles, please move along. :(
Word Count: 1,723
Yuushi knew, the moment he first set eyes on him. He knew, from the moment he spotted that unfamiliar flash of red glinting in the mess hall's stark lighting, from the moment he saw that fair-skinned face reflected in the chrome.
The newcomer had a toothy grin and a flirty wink, and even though it was his first day a good-sized crowd already surrounded him. They were all laughing. The newbies hadn't laughed since their first firefight, almost a month ago. The sound was like honey, drawing him in.
Yuushi perched on the edge of the long bench across the table from him and watched the boy's face in the stainless steel surface of the table. His gaze slowly traversed its way up, noting the pale hands as they almost eagerly lathered french fries in ketchup, observing the thin shoulders under the dark folds of the army uniform. He watched the flickers of the boy's eyes through his lashes as he laughed, watched as they lingered on things like the ingredients label of the milk carton, on commonplaces.
---
The next day, Yuushi had managed a seat one place closer to the boy. He could hear his voice over the normal din, could hear the slight stumble over certain words. Commonplaces. Could hear those stumbles, always caught and cleverly covered in sarcasm and laughter.
Yuushi learned that his name was Mukahi Gakuto.
Watching those long fingers smother a tater tot in barbeque sauce, he was caught almost off guard when the alarms went off, shrieking their alert with red strobe lights to punctuate. Yuushi was on his feet in split seconds, and not far after him was the redheaded boy. Surprising reflexes for a new recruit. Some of the less seasoned were still sitting, half cringing, hands over ears.
"Where do we go?" Mukahi asked, looking up at him.
"Can you shoot?" Yuushi asked him.
"With anything," Mukahi replied, and flashed that toothy grin.
Yuushi's eyes slid over the calluses on his palms, then nodded.
---
When the echoes of the last shots had died down and the casualties had been counted, the two of them sat side by side in the hospital wing with the rest of the lightly injured, a tub of salve between them.
"Nice aim," Yuushi drawled softly, letting the redhead smooth the cream into his arm. He felt the taser burn fade, until with a wisp of Healing steam it completely disappeared.
"It was nothing," the redhead murmured, grinning, looking up from lashes tinted the tiniest bit dark red in the fluorescent glare. Yuushi realized with amusement that the color must be natural, if it was in his eyelashes. "Thanks for covering me," Mukahi added, and paused, waiting.
"Oshitari Yuushi," he said, and smirked and adjusted his glasses--unscratched from the fighting, as usual--before leaving without a further word.
---
Sometimes Yuushi looked for him in the hallways from beneath his dark fringe. There he always was, a step ahead, perfectly natural, never without company. Sometimes he would turn his head, and Yuushi could feel Mukahi's eyes on him as if he knew he was looking.
At lunch, Yuushi had moved a place closer again. He watched Mukahi's pale hands as they drowned chicken strips in honey, leaving fingers sticky with sugar. They locked eyes for the tiniest moment, before turning away in the same half-second. But Yuushi didn't miss the way Mukahi's gaze still lingered on things, like the delicate packaging of the plastic straw wrappers. On commonplaces.
---
Mukahi was the best rookie marksman in the bunker, and the instructors praised him for the speed of his learning. Whatever title 'rookie' was, it belied the subtle familiarity of his fingers on the trigger. Yuushi saw that, though no one else did.
But Mukahi's accuracy, reflexes, and charm got him a space on the guard roster, a privilege few newbies ever received. Yuushi volunteered to partner him, and used his own charm shamelessly to secure that spot. It wasn't hard--nobody wanted to guard the west side at sunset anyway, even though it overlooked the Wall.
---
Eyes wide, Mukahi watched the Wall when they first went out, and Yuushi watched Mukahi.
"It's so white," he said, staring up at its pale expanse. The sun was setting at the crown of the Wall, hundreds of meters above, and its immense shadow was creeping slowly to their position. Across the empty ground before them, the graffitied bottom lip was already pooled in darkness, only broken by spotlights and the glint of barbed wire.
"It's been here for decades, and stretches for miles," Yuushi said amusedly, lashes lowering at the awe plain across Mukahi's face. "It's as old as the war. You've never seen it?"
"Not from--" he started, but cut off sharply. "No, never." His eyes ran hungrily across its surface, a surface so white that it glowed even in the shadow.
"They say it's black as pitch on the other side," Yuushi breathed, and watched some nameless expression flit across Mukahi's face.
"I've heard that too," Mukahi replied, and didn't look back.
---
"Yuushi," Mukahi said, the name sliding from his lips like skin on silk. "How's the gravy?"
The taller boy looked up from his tray at the sound of his first name, catching the redhead's eyes. "You're being awfully familiar, don't you think?" he asked. But, after days of moving only one seat closer at a time, he was finally sitting right across from Mukahi. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
"You can call me Gakuto if you want," Mukahi said, and flashed him one of those toothy grins.
Yuushi looked at him for a too-long moment, "All right then. Gakuto." It came out in his slow drawl, like molasses. "And it tastes fine today." His eyes dropped to watch Mukahi smother his beef bites in the thick gravy, pale fingers flickering. Mukahi was watching him when Yuushi looked back up at his face.
---
They had guard duty again. Mukahi watched the immense whiteness of the Wall in wonder, for once not subtly poised to toss a grin, or fight.
Looking at his hands, pale fingers lax where they rested on the railing, Yuushi didn't think he'd ever seen him so vulnerable.
"Yuushi," he murmured, eyes fixed on the crest of the Wall, so high above them, "can you even believe it was created by human hands?"
Yuushi looked at him slowly. "It wasn't. It was built by the other side's artificial beings. Everyone knows that."
Mukahi's eyes snapped to him, angry, his fingers on the railing now white-knuckled. "Artificial beings? What do you mean?"
A sinking suspicion forming in his mind, Yuushi said softly, "That's the whole reason the war was started, Gakuto. They created artificial humans, and they attacked us. We fight to stop them. It's unethical."
"Unethical?!" Mukahi spat, bristling, seemingly unaware of how dangerous it was to tread such traitorous territory. "Have they ever talked to one of these--these--artificial beings? How can they dictate things like that?"
Something in Yuushi saddened, and he looked with a new eye at the unnatural paleness of Mukahi's skin, the brightness of eye, the startling color to his hair. Watching him tremble with emotion, staring desperately up at the Wall, Yuushi felt a stirring. An emotion he couldn't place was welling up in his chest, tightening.
Mukahi's pale fingers gripped the rail, and Yuushi's own tanned ones reached out to cover them.
---
Yuushi still sat right in front of Gakuto in the mess hall, and today watched him soak his onion rings in vinegar and oil.
"I like you, Yuushi," Gakuto said, popping one into his mouth. The tips of his fingers glistened. "You're smart."
"I try," Yuushi said, smirking.
"You know a lot of things," Gakuto said, smirking back. His eyes bored into Yuushi's, like accusations. Yuushi met them squarely, and smiled.
---
That night, Gakuto's gaze up at the Wall wasn't quite so desperate, more resigned. The sunset slanted across his face, made his hair shine with a fierce, fiery light and his skin with an ethereal glow. Yuushi thought idly that he was beautiful.
"Yuushi," Gakuto said, pulling his eyes away from the Wall's whiteness. Hesitation was written in every line of his body, and Yuushi could already hear the words, I'm not who you think I am.
"I already knew, Gakuto," Yuushi whispered, and leaned forward.
Their lips met slowly, in a searing burn that made moans tumble out of both their throats. Gakuto's fingers were pale, tangled in Yuushi's uniform jacket. His hair was red silk, spilling across flushed cheeks. It was a sea of contrast and sensation, and though Yuushi knew its dangers, he still couldn't stop himself from drowning.
---
The next morning, Gakuto's pale limbs hid in the folds of pale sheets, and his bright hair spread boldly across the pillow. Yuushi stared sleepily for a long time at his eyelashes, soft and red-tinted and feathering across his cheeks, before sitting up, and leaving the bed. Pulling the uniform on--dark creases that felt nothing like the slide of Gakuto's pale skin--Yuushi felt a heaviness in his chest, and knew what he had to do.
"Yuushi," Gakuto said, and Yuushi jerked and turned and saw that Gakuto's eyes were open. "What will you do now?" he asked.
Yuushi buttoned up the shirt all the way, to the top button, and adjusted the collar. "What I have to," he said. The words fell slowly from his mouth. Like molasses.
"I knew you would." The other boy rolled over, twisting himself in the sheets. "Eventually."
"I've always loved romance," Yuushi said, and it was almost an apology.
"Then come away with me," Gakuto laughed.
Yuushi looked down at the uniform jacket in his hands, then up at Gakuto for a long, aching moment. "I... can't do that."
Gakuto's smile was resigned, and just a little bit self-mocking, before he swung his eyes to the ceiling. "I know."
Yuushi pulled his jacket on, and left the room, in silence. Gakuto wasn't watching him go.
---
The trial was scheduled for the next day, and the execution for the day after.
Yuushi felt the two shining new gold stars on his collar, and couldn't quite find it in himself to feel satisfied.