For atfushi-dear!
Since she asked if I had any logs currently going that she could read, and AIM was being stupid, I decided to just post this one up here. <3 You know we're not done with it yet, Arashi-chan, but this was the fastest way, hm?
CONTEXT for anyone who isn't in the RP and yet feels like reading this: During an extended stay at Atobe's mansion, Yukimura and Atobe (bitter rivals! well, actually, they just more or less hated each other) got into a big deal of trouble when the floor gave out on them, sending them falling about thirty feet. This log takes place roughly two weeks after the event.
Arashi plays Sanada, and I have too much fun with angsty!Yukimura. XD; Oops.?
It was cold outside, but Sanada paid it no mind. He was walking outside without a jacket, or scarf (though he did have his hat--not that it kept him particularly warm). He barely noticed the chill of the wind as he made his way toward the hospital, and was even less aware of the chill fading to warmth as he stepped inside. He didn't think as he walked the memorized path to Yukimura's room, not until he turned the corner and found himself inside.
The sunlight that came through the window was cold, and the angles of Yukimura's face looked even more sharp illuminated in it. Sanada looked at him for just a minute, but tried not to dwell on how deathly pale he looked. The only thing he could do was sit, and wait, and stay by Yukimura's side. So he lowered himself into the chair by the bed, and did exactly that.
Funny thing about being deeply asleep (unconscious, really; a light coma, the doctors said); there was absolutely no concept of passing time. Why should there be? Minutes, hours, days, they were all exactly the same. Sanada could have been sitting at his side only a minute, or only two hours, and Yukimura wouldn't know. Chest rising and falling shallowly to the rhythmic, easy beat of the heart monitors, the tempo suddenly skipped a beat, jumping into a different pattern. It slowed a moment later as Yukimura let out an almost inaudible moan, brow furrowing as his eyes twitched. They opened a moment later, just a crack, and Yukimura stared in blurred confusion at the clock on the opposite wall. Where...am I...?
When the pattern of the heart monitor's beeping changed, Sanada's eyes flickered open. He'd just begun to doze off; Atobe was sleeping on the other side of the room, Yukimura was unconscious, there wasn't much to occupy him. But he never fell asleep very deeply in hosiptal rooms, not in comparison to how he slept normally, and even the subtle change of the beeping was enough to wake him.
He leaned forward, quickly blinking fuzziness from his eyes, to look at Yukimura's face. The other boy's eyes were starting to open. "Yukimura," Sanada said quietly, knowing he must be disoriented. He'd been asleep for a long time, after all.
Sanada's quiet voice startled him, but Yukimura didn't jump like he might have in any other situation where he was paying absolutely no attention. Instead, he dragged his attention slowly away from the clock and the hands pointing to the three and the eight, turning his head slowly. He blinked, trying to bring the image of the person sitting next to his bed further into focus, but it was hard. His head hurt. Sanada...? His vocal cords refused to work, and he thought slowly that if it was Sanada, Sanada was probably going to kill him. ...why...he couldn't remember. Slowly his eyes fell shut again.
Sanada could tell Yukimura was trying to look up at him, and he waited for the other to say something, but a minute passed by with nothing, and eventually Yukimura's eyes slid shut again. Sanada slumped back in his chair, somewhat disappointed, and stared up at the clock again. He'd already been here for an hour or two, and should probably leave shortly. But then, glancing back at Yukimura's face, he decided not to. He'd wait another hour, at most. Maybe Yukimura would wake up again.
The long hand of the clock had just slipped past the six by the time Yukimura woke up again. Again he blinked, but focusing came faster and he was able to make out the numbers on the clock, the chart on the opposite wall, and--turning his head--Sanada, looking like he was drowsing despite obvious attempts not to. A small smile flitted onto his face. Sanada looked so different when he slept. Vulnerable, unguarded, almost peaceful. ....almost cute.
The change in the rhythm of the heart monitor wasn't quite enough to draw Sanada out of his unintentional slumber this time. He hadn't been sleeping well lately; when Yukimura was in the hospital, he never did.
Sanada didn't stir; Yukimura's smile softened with fondness. Sanada was so good to him, to visit him and take care of him even when it was Yukimura's fault the situation had gotten this bad in the first place. As much as he wanted to wake the other up and talk to him, and ask him how long he'd been sleeping and how much time had passed anyway, Sanada deserved the sleep. It didn't stop Yukimura from slowly propping himself up on his arms and reaching to stroke his fingers lightly over the back of Sanada's hand, the only part of him he could reach. Poor Sanada. He didn't deserve all the worry Yukimura put him through.
Sanada's head jerked at the touch. He blinked fuzzily, wondering what had woken him and how long he'd been sleeping, and caught sight of Yukimura, half-sitting up. "Yukimura," he said, trying to clear the haze from his thoughts. "You're awake. Are you feeling alright?"
Oh. He had woken him. Yukimura drew back, regretful. "I've been better," he answered truthfully, "I'm sorry to have woken you."
"It's alright," Sanada said, straightening from his sleep-induced slouch and rubbing at his eyes with one hand. He caught Yukimura's withdrawing hand with the other. "Have you been awake very long?"
Stomach fluttering just at the touch of Sanada's hand, Yukimura smiled. Sanada really did look cute when he was tired. Not that Yukimura looked much more awake. "No. Were you sleeping long?"
Sanada glanced at the clock, though it didn't really help as he didn't know what time he had fallen asleep in the first place. "I'm not sure, but I still have time." He didn't have anything else he really needed to do today, and he much preferred spending time with Yukimura over anything else. Especially since, recently, he'd felt as if the time he could spend with Yukimura was getting more and more limited.
Time. How many days had passed since the whole incident? Yukimura's smile faded into a light frown. "Am I keeping you from something?" He hated to be a bother, really. How long had Sanada really been sitting there? How many days?
"No," Sanada said, realizing how that must have sounded when Yukimura's smile left his face. "I just told myself I would leave after an hour, when you woke up last time. You're feeling better?"
"Oh." Yukimura blinked slowly. He honestly didn't remember waking up. What had happened? What had he said? Had Sanada said anything? His mind was full of questions, and his head was starting to hurt as a result. Still, he nodded. "Mm."
Sanada paused, taking notice of Yukimura's wordless replies. "You've been in a coma for a little more than two weeks," he said quietly. "We were starting to worry. You woke up a little bit, a bit less than an hour ago, but I thought I must have dreamed it."
A coma? Staring up at Sanada, the arm Yukimura was using to prop himself up gave out, and he fell weakly back onto the bed. "Oh," he managed. Oh. Two weeks...no wonder he couldn't move well. Two full weeks...the questions overwhelmed him until his head was literally throbbing with the sheer magnitude of trying to comprehend how it was possible and why it had happened, and Yukimura closed his eyes with a grimace. "...'m sorry."
"Don't be," Sanada was quick to tell him. "You hit your head when you fell from the library, and fell asleep afterwards." He felt the usual pang of guilt when he mentioned the library.
....oh. He remembered that, and everything before it, and...Yukimura sat up suddenly, eyes wide. "Where's--" The slight difference in altitude sent the blood rushing all-too-quickly to his head with a wave of dizziness and--nausea. His face paled drastically.
"Don't move!" Sanada was quick to say, jumping forward to press Yukimura gently back to the bed. "You've been lying down for two weeks. Keep still or you'll hurt yourself."
Yukimura let Sanada help him back down, droplets of sweat beading down his face. It was a long moment and several deep breaths before he could speak again, trying to express his worry for the other person who'd been in much the same predicament. "...atobe..?"
"He's sleeping," Sanada said, nodding over to the boy in question, in the bed on the other side of the room.
...sleeping? Yukimura turned his head--and, yes, there was Atobe, fast asleep in another bed in the same room. His chest was moving, he was breathing...obviously, he was alive. "...he's alright?"
"His worst injury was a broken wrist," Sanada said, settling back down into his chair after he was sure that Yukimura wasn't going to try moving again. "After his blood transfusion he was out of danger. They're just keeping him here to be sure."
Ah. That was good. Yukimura turned back towards Sanada, reaching out to touch his hand again. "And you?"
Sanada smiled a little bit at the touch to his hand, but the expression dissolved at the question. "I've just worried about you."
Face falling, Yukimura looked away from Sanada's open, honest face, unable to keep eye contact. Sanada was too good to him. He bit his lip, trying to keep his vision steady and not watering, like it was threatening to. Why did this keep happening? It wasn't his fault!
"Don't cry," Sanada said quietly, reaching out to touch Yukimura's face. "If it was me, you'd do the same thing."
He tried, but Sanada's steady, calm touch wasn't helping matters. The tears rolled hotly down his cheeks, regardless. Ashamed, Yukimura brought one of his hands up to scrub at his face, trying to make himself stop or at least hide the fact that he was crying. "I'm s-sorry--I keep doing this to you--" He felt like such an idiot.
"Stop that," Sanada told him, "it wasn't your fault." Despite his stern words, he leant over to wrap his arms around Yukimura, trying to hug him while being careful not to jostle him too much.
He wasn't so weak that he was going to fall apart at any moment. As Sanada embraced him, however cautiously, Yukimura wrapped his arms around the other's neck as if Sanada was the only thing keeping him...here. His grip, however strong and desperate it seemed to him, was in actuality not that strong. It frustrated him further, and he buried his face in Sanada's shoulder. "I can't--imagine what it's like for you--"
"It's harder for you," Sanada told him quietly, sensing the frustration Yukimura felt at his own weakness. "Just focus on getting better. I'll be there for you."
They always went through this. Each and every time something happened, it was always Yukimura who broke down in pent-up frustration and always Sanada who picked up the pieces. It couldn't be fair to him. It hardly was fair. Sanada was one of the most patient and caring people he knew, despite how little of it he showed to others. Yukimura closed his eyes. He really was lucky, to have someone like him. "...'m still sorry."
"And I'm still telling you not to be," Sanada said again. He was not going to budge on this matter--Yukimura never was and never would be a burden to him. Waiting was hard, supporting was hard, the hardest things he'd ever done, especially since he often felt he was really making no impact at all on the hardships Yukimura was dealing with, but he would never find waiting and supporting the one he loved to be something to be sorry for. He would do it forever, if it was for Yukimura.
CONTEXT for anyone who isn't in the RP and yet feels like reading this: During an extended stay at Atobe's mansion, Yukimura and Atobe (bitter rivals! well, actually, they just more or less hated each other) got into a big deal of trouble when the floor gave out on them, sending them falling about thirty feet. This log takes place roughly two weeks after the event.
Arashi plays Sanada, and I have too much fun with angsty!Yukimura. XD; Oops.?
It was cold outside, but Sanada paid it no mind. He was walking outside without a jacket, or scarf (though he did have his hat--not that it kept him particularly warm). He barely noticed the chill of the wind as he made his way toward the hospital, and was even less aware of the chill fading to warmth as he stepped inside. He didn't think as he walked the memorized path to Yukimura's room, not until he turned the corner and found himself inside.
The sunlight that came through the window was cold, and the angles of Yukimura's face looked even more sharp illuminated in it. Sanada looked at him for just a minute, but tried not to dwell on how deathly pale he looked. The only thing he could do was sit, and wait, and stay by Yukimura's side. So he lowered himself into the chair by the bed, and did exactly that.
Funny thing about being deeply asleep (unconscious, really; a light coma, the doctors said); there was absolutely no concept of passing time. Why should there be? Minutes, hours, days, they were all exactly the same. Sanada could have been sitting at his side only a minute, or only two hours, and Yukimura wouldn't know. Chest rising and falling shallowly to the rhythmic, easy beat of the heart monitors, the tempo suddenly skipped a beat, jumping into a different pattern. It slowed a moment later as Yukimura let out an almost inaudible moan, brow furrowing as his eyes twitched. They opened a moment later, just a crack, and Yukimura stared in blurred confusion at the clock on the opposite wall. Where...am I...?
When the pattern of the heart monitor's beeping changed, Sanada's eyes flickered open. He'd just begun to doze off; Atobe was sleeping on the other side of the room, Yukimura was unconscious, there wasn't much to occupy him. But he never fell asleep very deeply in hosiptal rooms, not in comparison to how he slept normally, and even the subtle change of the beeping was enough to wake him.
He leaned forward, quickly blinking fuzziness from his eyes, to look at Yukimura's face. The other boy's eyes were starting to open. "Yukimura," Sanada said quietly, knowing he must be disoriented. He'd been asleep for a long time, after all.
Sanada's quiet voice startled him, but Yukimura didn't jump like he might have in any other situation where he was paying absolutely no attention. Instead, he dragged his attention slowly away from the clock and the hands pointing to the three and the eight, turning his head slowly. He blinked, trying to bring the image of the person sitting next to his bed further into focus, but it was hard. His head hurt. Sanada...? His vocal cords refused to work, and he thought slowly that if it was Sanada, Sanada was probably going to kill him. ...why...he couldn't remember. Slowly his eyes fell shut again.
Sanada could tell Yukimura was trying to look up at him, and he waited for the other to say something, but a minute passed by with nothing, and eventually Yukimura's eyes slid shut again. Sanada slumped back in his chair, somewhat disappointed, and stared up at the clock again. He'd already been here for an hour or two, and should probably leave shortly. But then, glancing back at Yukimura's face, he decided not to. He'd wait another hour, at most. Maybe Yukimura would wake up again.
The long hand of the clock had just slipped past the six by the time Yukimura woke up again. Again he blinked, but focusing came faster and he was able to make out the numbers on the clock, the chart on the opposite wall, and--turning his head--Sanada, looking like he was drowsing despite obvious attempts not to. A small smile flitted onto his face. Sanada looked so different when he slept. Vulnerable, unguarded, almost peaceful. ....almost cute.
The change in the rhythm of the heart monitor wasn't quite enough to draw Sanada out of his unintentional slumber this time. He hadn't been sleeping well lately; when Yukimura was in the hospital, he never did.
Sanada didn't stir; Yukimura's smile softened with fondness. Sanada was so good to him, to visit him and take care of him even when it was Yukimura's fault the situation had gotten this bad in the first place. As much as he wanted to wake the other up and talk to him, and ask him how long he'd been sleeping and how much time had passed anyway, Sanada deserved the sleep. It didn't stop Yukimura from slowly propping himself up on his arms and reaching to stroke his fingers lightly over the back of Sanada's hand, the only part of him he could reach. Poor Sanada. He didn't deserve all the worry Yukimura put him through.
Sanada's head jerked at the touch. He blinked fuzzily, wondering what had woken him and how long he'd been sleeping, and caught sight of Yukimura, half-sitting up. "Yukimura," he said, trying to clear the haze from his thoughts. "You're awake. Are you feeling alright?"
Oh. He had woken him. Yukimura drew back, regretful. "I've been better," he answered truthfully, "I'm sorry to have woken you."
"It's alright," Sanada said, straightening from his sleep-induced slouch and rubbing at his eyes with one hand. He caught Yukimura's withdrawing hand with the other. "Have you been awake very long?"
Stomach fluttering just at the touch of Sanada's hand, Yukimura smiled. Sanada really did look cute when he was tired. Not that Yukimura looked much more awake. "No. Were you sleeping long?"
Sanada glanced at the clock, though it didn't really help as he didn't know what time he had fallen asleep in the first place. "I'm not sure, but I still have time." He didn't have anything else he really needed to do today, and he much preferred spending time with Yukimura over anything else. Especially since, recently, he'd felt as if the time he could spend with Yukimura was getting more and more limited.
Time. How many days had passed since the whole incident? Yukimura's smile faded into a light frown. "Am I keeping you from something?" He hated to be a bother, really. How long had Sanada really been sitting there? How many days?
"No," Sanada said, realizing how that must have sounded when Yukimura's smile left his face. "I just told myself I would leave after an hour, when you woke up last time. You're feeling better?"
"Oh." Yukimura blinked slowly. He honestly didn't remember waking up. What had happened? What had he said? Had Sanada said anything? His mind was full of questions, and his head was starting to hurt as a result. Still, he nodded. "Mm."
Sanada paused, taking notice of Yukimura's wordless replies. "You've been in a coma for a little more than two weeks," he said quietly. "We were starting to worry. You woke up a little bit, a bit less than an hour ago, but I thought I must have dreamed it."
A coma? Staring up at Sanada, the arm Yukimura was using to prop himself up gave out, and he fell weakly back onto the bed. "Oh," he managed. Oh. Two weeks...no wonder he couldn't move well. Two full weeks...the questions overwhelmed him until his head was literally throbbing with the sheer magnitude of trying to comprehend how it was possible and why it had happened, and Yukimura closed his eyes with a grimace. "...'m sorry."
"Don't be," Sanada was quick to tell him. "You hit your head when you fell from the library, and fell asleep afterwards." He felt the usual pang of guilt when he mentioned the library.
....oh. He remembered that, and everything before it, and...Yukimura sat up suddenly, eyes wide. "Where's--" The slight difference in altitude sent the blood rushing all-too-quickly to his head with a wave of dizziness and--nausea. His face paled drastically.
"Don't move!" Sanada was quick to say, jumping forward to press Yukimura gently back to the bed. "You've been lying down for two weeks. Keep still or you'll hurt yourself."
Yukimura let Sanada help him back down, droplets of sweat beading down his face. It was a long moment and several deep breaths before he could speak again, trying to express his worry for the other person who'd been in much the same predicament. "...atobe..?"
"He's sleeping," Sanada said, nodding over to the boy in question, in the bed on the other side of the room.
...sleeping? Yukimura turned his head--and, yes, there was Atobe, fast asleep in another bed in the same room. His chest was moving, he was breathing...obviously, he was alive. "...he's alright?"
"His worst injury was a broken wrist," Sanada said, settling back down into his chair after he was sure that Yukimura wasn't going to try moving again. "After his blood transfusion he was out of danger. They're just keeping him here to be sure."
Ah. That was good. Yukimura turned back towards Sanada, reaching out to touch his hand again. "And you?"
Sanada smiled a little bit at the touch to his hand, but the expression dissolved at the question. "I've just worried about you."
Face falling, Yukimura looked away from Sanada's open, honest face, unable to keep eye contact. Sanada was too good to him. He bit his lip, trying to keep his vision steady and not watering, like it was threatening to. Why did this keep happening? It wasn't his fault!
"Don't cry," Sanada said quietly, reaching out to touch Yukimura's face. "If it was me, you'd do the same thing."
He tried, but Sanada's steady, calm touch wasn't helping matters. The tears rolled hotly down his cheeks, regardless. Ashamed, Yukimura brought one of his hands up to scrub at his face, trying to make himself stop or at least hide the fact that he was crying. "I'm s-sorry--I keep doing this to you--" He felt like such an idiot.
"Stop that," Sanada told him, "it wasn't your fault." Despite his stern words, he leant over to wrap his arms around Yukimura, trying to hug him while being careful not to jostle him too much.
He wasn't so weak that he was going to fall apart at any moment. As Sanada embraced him, however cautiously, Yukimura wrapped his arms around the other's neck as if Sanada was the only thing keeping him...here. His grip, however strong and desperate it seemed to him, was in actuality not that strong. It frustrated him further, and he buried his face in Sanada's shoulder. "I can't--imagine what it's like for you--"
"It's harder for you," Sanada told him quietly, sensing the frustration Yukimura felt at his own weakness. "Just focus on getting better. I'll be there for you."
They always went through this. Each and every time something happened, it was always Yukimura who broke down in pent-up frustration and always Sanada who picked up the pieces. It couldn't be fair to him. It hardly was fair. Sanada was one of the most patient and caring people he knew, despite how little of it he showed to others. Yukimura closed his eyes. He really was lucky, to have someone like him. "...'m still sorry."
"And I'm still telling you not to be," Sanada said again. He was not going to budge on this matter--Yukimura never was and never would be a burden to him. Waiting was hard, supporting was hard, the hardest things he'd ever done, especially since he often felt he was really making no impact at all on the hardships Yukimura was dealing with, but he would never find waiting and supporting the one he loved to be something to be sorry for. He would do it forever, if it was for Yukimura.