I'm Sorry, But My Favorite Authors Have to At Least Be 8s

[evadne_noel]

As a long time reader and admirer of Jane Austen’s works, do you know what causes me to lose sleep at night? Why, the thought that she may not have been a total hottie, of course.

You know who else I worry about? This guy. Man, just look at that forehead. Freaktacular. Okay, maybe that’s not a fair picture. No one looks good in an engraving

Comments

[electricwitch]

You silly, Shakespeare is a MAN so it doesn´t matter what he looked like. Because we all know that when it comes to MEN power, money, talent and personality are what counts.

But that chick you were talking about was an UGLY CHICK and we all know how worthless anything made by UGLY CHICKS is. We´d better give her a 200 year-tardy nosejob or no-one will buy her books.

I laughed so hard at their dismissing George Eliot as dowdy though.

[evadne_noel]

Oh, no! They are not so shallow as to believe that her portrait reveals her as an UGLY CHICK, it's that it doesn't show her "wit, intelligence and firmness of character"! That's really all they're interested in. And obviously that shines through the Shakespeare portraits, because why else would we not be updating his hairline for future additions?

[dreamstrifer]

I find it amusing because I know SO many people flip to the back cover or the back of the book to make sure the author picture isn't hideous. Hideous author? Rubbish bin, kthnxbye!

[evadne_noel]

Serious? But what if it doesn't have a picture? Do they toss it aside on the off chance the author may be a toad?

[iweep4u]

Well, I dunno. I wouldn't let my mom read me Shel Silverstein when I was a kid because the picture of him on the back of the book was damn scary looking (and, of course, that would be what I was looking at while she was holding the book up and reading to me).

[evadne_noel]

Ah, the thin line between an unattractive author and an author that looks like a serial killer.

[lindewen]

i do have to say that joseph fiennes makes a yummy shakespeare.

but your point is valid. who the hell cares what you looked like??

[evadne_noel]

Oh, yes. Joseph Fiennes is a lovely looking Shakespeare. Though, I don't expect his face to be on the Annotated Complete Works of Shakespeare.

[lustforlike]

All my favourite authors are perfect 10s in my head, despite any evidence to the contrary, because as a reader I have learned to place undue importance on looks, unlike those movie-watching people who don't mind only 8s and 9s. Moreover, my infallibly accurate mental images have just the right hint of wit, humour, sarcasm, and perceptiveness as is appropriate to the author in question, because I know that appearances are not just skin-deep - they reflect the basic character of a person, and this is why you can tell everything you need to know just from one good glamour shot.

I laugh when I read Jane Eyre, because of the insistence of most of the characters on their ability to judge a person based on their looks.

[evadne_noel]

Jane Eyre is great for that. What? A romance between a plain Jane and a eventually scarred, scary man? That's not love. Pfft.

[lustforlike]

That's why they've never made a movie of it. No-one would believe it.

[musicalqueen101]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but there are several versions of the film--at least...four that I can think of...I would recommend the A&E Ciaran Hinds version...:)

[alory_shannon]

Shakespeare HAD to have a huge forehead--all those brains had to go somewhere.

Plus, because it was so shiny, he could use it to redirect light onto the stage in the Globe if the location of the sun cast the stage into shadow.

[evadne_noel]

because it was so shiny, he could use it to redirect light onto the stage in the Globe

And THAT is how the Globe burned down.

[irishmastermind]

XDDDD

Though, Christopher Plummer did say in the 6th Star Trek movie that Shakespeare was originally Klingon. Perhaps he was actually wearing a big rubber mask to cover up his crazy forehead. [/uber-geekery]