We found a pair of roller blades in the cupboard the other day (one of my flatmates is forcing the other one to clean all her stuff out of the communal areas, its interesting to watch the tap dance of politeness slowly escalate into a full on war ( Read more... )

I tipped my work keyboard upside down and shook it yesterday and then recoiled in horror at what came out. I won’t be doing that again any time soon (or maybe I should do it more often, maybe that’s part of the problem ( Read more... )

On the weekend we went to France to recapture Calais for the British, but after being seduced by the tourism opportunities of Normandy ran out of time for a full scale invasion and had to be content with recapturing a lot of red wine from Calais instead. We didn't give the red wine to the British ( Read more... )

A suspicious package was found in the Hayes Galleria yesterday causing momentary hysteria when Daniel found he may not be able to buy a chocolate bar from the newsagent due to a general evacuation of the area ( Read more... )

We flee across the channel to France this weekend to partake of various cheeses and bring back copious amounts of French wine to a parched SE England (there is a drought apparently, although not on weekends). I’m confident that we will be able to make ourselves understood to the wily French locals, I’m sure Neil will have learnt a phrase or two on ( Read more... )

There are squirrels everywhere at the moment. I guess it is the spring thing, they are all coming out of the (literal) woodwork. There are so many in Kensington Gardens at the moment you could pretend you were the Pied Piper (only without rats). Despite signage admonishing people not to feed them many people go there for that express purpose. ( Read more... )

I've spent the last week in blissful semi-solitude house-sitting for Neil and Ange while they're in Italy (they're the ones doing me the favour here, its so nice to have some quiet alone time and walk around the house naked again (joking ( Read more... )

My file cabinet at work is locked today and I don't have the key. I locked it last night and put the key in my trouser pocket and then took off my trousers (after an appropriate amount of time had passed and in an appropriate location - not at work). My trousers are now hanging off the end of my bed in Surrey Quays, along with the key ( Read more... )

Went for an Oriental buffet with N&A, A&J and A&P on Sunday. Oriental somehow morphed into Indian but since everyone east of Turkey appears to be called "Asian" in the UK it was still nearly correct. Continuing the "What we need is a great big melting pot" ethnic theme of the day we stopped at a pub afterwards, perfectly English looking in every ( Read more... )

We have dozens and dozens of new people starting at the moment (four) so played "get to know you" games as a warm up for our monthly team meeting yesterday. I was given the task of telling an amusing or interesting work anecdote so told everyone about the time I had to reattach the false leg to the drunken patron out the front of The Bank Bar and ( Read more... )