Facebook and Flamewars

[erstexman]

So I posted a political thought today that evolved into what became a bit of a nasty fight between two close friends - REAL friends in the flesh that I have met in person and love each in his own way. They however do not know each other from Adam's house cat.

Anyway, my status update read...

I really believe the if the Republicans don't watch it they

Comments

[barak]

Everyone has room to be tolerant of their friend's beliefs. But demanding, at the insistence of your friendship, that you end a friendship with someone else? Douchebaggery. That's not a friend, that's a control freak. Is he really worth keeping around?

[erstexman]

Tim that is something I have to consider. If Ixxxx drops out of my life then the answer is easy. I know that right now he sees my action as disloyal, and he does tend to wear his feelings on his sleeve, so time will tell. I have been there for him through very dark times for him - the death of his mother, ongoing health issues that dominated his life for nearly a full year and deep depressions through it all. I was a shoulder for him to cry on many times (over the phone mostly since he is over 1000 miles from here) and when we met in person it was as if we had known each other forever. It just saddens me that he can forget all that in the midst of this.

[barak]

It strikes me as emotionally manipulative to say "you have to stop being friends with so-and-so, even though I do not know them, because their beliefs (or actions) offend me." Its pretty self-centered

[erstexman]

I sent Ixxxx a long email pretty much outlining my actions and why I have taken them and told him I refuse to take sides. The ball is in his court now if he chooses to remain my friend. If he walks away, so be it. I can apologize for him being offended, but also did his part to attack Sxxx as well, so in my eyes, they are both idiots for attacking each other. I called Sxxx on what he did and he apologized to me for his attack and his tone/language. He will not apologize for his viewpoint and I do not blame him at all.

Anyway, it made for an exciting day I suppose...

[geometrician]

I love you too! This is one of the many reasons I've stopped using Facebook.

[erstexman]

Well, I am not quite at that level of disgust with it, but it does take me aback a bit. Thanks for the love from a distance...

[jccub1]

I think you've handled the situation admirably and with dignity. I hope you're friends learn to be as tolerant of other people as you have shown with this sad episode.

*hugs* Evan

[erstexman]

I have a fairly high threshold in the tolerance level in many respects. However, I forget that there are people who have anything but tolerance for the views and discourse of others. I am not sure how it is in Australia, but civil discourse and debate here is now hardly civil at all...

[jccub1]

If there is one thing I admire about Australians it's their ability to hold a heated discussion and then have a beer and share a joke. Of course there are exceptions but we're a fairly tolerant race down here - although international situations such as huge immigration in recent years have tested that tolerance sadly.

[erstexman]

Australians have always struck me as a fairly laid back, happy-go-lucky sort. We need more of that in this country...

[maxauburn]

I won't ever go on Facebook because I've heard of things like that and way worse happening there.

Look how crazy things get on YouTube in the comments section: Guy A says he loves Metallica and that NO other band is as good as they are, Guy B calls Guy A a faggot for saying that.. and it just keeps going downhill from there.

I'm sorry this happened to you.. I'm sorry so many people see the internet as a place to dump on and manipulate others.

My rule for the internet:

I never say anything online that I wouldn't say in person.

I wish everyone else would subscribe to this.

*ULTRA-HUGS*

[erstexman]

That is a good rule Jerry. I try to live my life as much by the golden rule - treat others as I would want to be treated. I am not perfect by any means, but I really do try. Sometimes people think that means they can walk all over me, but they find out that does not work either.

Yes, I have seen it on You Tube even on videos of classical choral music I have seen. I tend to ignore the comments there...

[maxauburn]

Yes. People see I'm a nice guy, so they dump on me. I've had strangers in this neighborhood go up to me and start calling me names to my face; sometimes they'll just start hitting me

[erstexman]

Thanks for the insight Jerry...

[mrdreamjeans]

Well, now you know how I felt over the other incident. You leave your journal to actually work and it's flown off in another direction, despite your best intentions. Like you, I have friends with strong opinions and I don't necessarily agree with them on some issues. You did the only thing you could do and remove the exchanges. There's nothing wrong with feeling passionate about something ... we all have our hot buttons ... But, as you have said, we should try to remain civil. I bet if these two friends of yours met in person, the exchanges would not have deteriorated ... sometimes, words ... writing is so imprecise, because we don't have the body language of face to face exchanges. I think you've handled it as well as possible. I'm headed to Madison today ... Hopefully, the recall of the Republican Senators is underway.

HUGS!

[erstexman]

Thanks Neil - I am just fine and hope along with you that the Republicans totally get bitten in the ass about all this...