covert affairs chapter 10
for anyone who wants to reread(cuz i know it's been FOREVER since i updated this fic), here's the chapter links.
chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8 chapter 9
also, triggery warning for rape. nothing explicit, but one is described. or well, the assault prior to the rape is described. not in incredible detail. really, it should be fine.
oh, rating is M, as usual. and thanks baby for reading over it.
10
Helena sighed. Alone in her room the weight of the day began to crash down upon her. She'd been insulted, yelled at, nearly tesla-ed, accused of trying to kill Pete and Myka, and worst of all, nearly lost the woman she loved with all her heart. Her eyes began to tear at the thought of having to go on without her.
There was a soft knock on her door. She wiped her eyes furiously and called for Myka to come in.
Myka opened the door slowly and closed it quietly behind her. She stepped over to Helena at her vanity, but stopped short. "Claudia told me what happened," she said in a small voice.
"She did?" Myka nodded. "What did she say?" Helena struggled to keep her voice calm, but Myka knew her better than the others and could hear the strain playing in her chords.
"That something happened and the power surged, which shorted out the circuits in the time machine. That you almost couldn't bring us back."
Helena admired Claudia's loyalty, she had managed to explain to Myka the danger she'd been in without calling fault on Artie. "I would have told you, Myka."
"I know."
Helena's eyes welled up again. "I almost lost you, Myka. My darling Myka." Helena crossed the distance between them and fell against Myka, holding her tight and sobbing on her shoulder.
Myka held her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. "I'm here Helena. You didn't lose me."
She caught her breath. "But I almost did. So very closely. And Artie never would have forgiven me; he was going to shoot me. And it would have all been his bloody fault."
Myka furrowed her brow. "All his fault?"
"Shit." She honestly hadn't meant to say anything about that.
"Helena." Myka pushed her away so she could look her in the eyes. "Helena, what did he do to you?"
There was no anger in those green eyes. At least not for her. Myka rubbed a tear from her cheek with her thumb. Helena took a deep breath. "He pulsed the system. The time machine was drawing on the power system causing fluctuations and he sent a pulse to try to clear it. That's what fried the wiring."
Myka held her, hands resting gently against either cheek, searching those dark eyes for something, some clue. "What did he do to you, Helena?"
She didn't want to say, she didn't want to cause any more strife between the two of them. But there was no getting out of this. "Claudia ran off to get her snow globe, brilliant idea by the way." She forced a smile.
"Helena, don't be flip."
She nodded slightly and the smile faded. "Artie found me, alone, messing frantically with the wires of my time machine. He held a tesla to the back of my head, and ordered me to stop what I was doing. I was forced to sit on the platform at gunpoint with my hands behind my head like a prisoner until Claudia and Rebecca came back." She took a breath. "He accused me of trying to kill you. He didn't believe me. He didn't believe Claudia. It was only when Rebecca took responsibility that he listened." Her breath caught and she cut herself off.
"Helena..." Myka held her face and ducked her head slightly as she tried to catch HG's dropped gaze. "What aren't you telling me?"
She shook her head at first, refusing to tell Myka what that man had said to her then. It was said in anger, out of fear and desperation and he didn't mean it. Probably. She looked up at Myka. The worry playing on her face, the hurt and fear tugging at her eyes. "He threatened to kill me if I didn't bring you back."
"I'm gonna kill him." Myka turned and was headed for the door.
"Myka, please." She stopped. "Myka. Please. Let it go." She turned around. "I need you." Helena's voice was weak, small, like a child in the dark.
Myka rushed to her and held her close. "I'm here, Helena." She stroked her hair. "It's okay, Helena."
HG caught her breath between sobs. "I can't lose you too."
Myka's heart broke and her own eyes teared up. But she had to be strong for Helena. "You didn't lose me, Helena. I'm right here. I'll always be right here." She kissed Helena's hair and held her head gently as she cried.
Myka held her until she'd calmed a little. "Let's get you to bed, sweetie," she spoke softly as she moved them toward the bed.
"Stay with me tonight."
"Of course." Myka laid Helena down in bed and covered her with the comforter. She stepped back to go change, but Helena pulled on her thigh.
"Don't go."
"I was just gonna change."
"Please, Myka...I don't want to be alone." Her voice grew desperate.
"Okay, okay." Myka took off her jeans and bra and laid them over Helena's desk chair before climbing into bed behind her. Helena melted instantly into her body. Myka wrapped her arm around Helena's waist and pulled her close. "Sleep, Helena."
Helena's breathing slowed as she drifted off to sleep. "I'm sorry, Christina," she murmured before she fell still for the night.
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Myka woke and found herself wrapped tightly in Helena's arms and smiled. She was so beautiful when she slept, so warm and comfortable beside her. Myka kissed her forehead and stroked Helena's hair until she woke.
"Mmmm." Helena nuzzled against Myka's shoulder. "That feels wonderful, Myka."
"Good." Myka hugged her tight and kissed her forehead again. "Helena, will you be okay here for a little while?"
"Yes, but don't leave yet, Myka." Helena pulled Myka closer to her.
"Okay."
Pete hovered around Leena in the kitchen as she made waffles. "Did you put chocolate chips in there?"
"No, Pete. Not everyone likes them."
"Awww," he pouted.
"I'll make yours last and put chips in for you."
"Score!"
Leena chuckled to herself.
Artie roared from the hall, then the dining room and finally the man caught up to his voice in the kitchen. "And I am not done talking to you young lady." Claudia saluted following him. "But-" Artie's stomach growled, and Claudia eyed him smugly. "I need to eat first."
"Leena's making waffles for breakfast!" Pete grinned.
"With chocolate chips?" Claudia perked up.
"I'll put them in yours too."
"Sweet." Pete high fived her.
"Pete, I wanted to say, job well done yesterday. Despite one glaringly bad decision. But, I know you had a long day, so I'm giving you and Myka the day off." He eyed Claudia's hopeful smile sideways. "I'm giving all of you the day off."
"Thank you." Pete nodded. Claudia threw her arms up in a silent cheer.
Artie nodded. "Where is Myka?"
"Probably upstairs still doing her girly morning stuff."
"You mean like brushing her teeth?" Claudia smirked at him.
Pete made a face at her. "I'll check on her."
Pete headed upstairs and caught Myka coming out of Helena's room with her bra in her hand. "Did you...?"
Myka froze. "What?"
"You didn't...Myka..."
Myka stared at him and wrinkled her forehead. "What Pete?"
"Did you sleep with her?"
"Pete." Myka sighed. "Yesterday was...rough for her. She didn't want to be alone last night. So I stayed with her."
Pete nodded. "Hey, so...Artie gave us the day off." He grinned big. "And Leena's making waffles." He was considerably more excited about the waffles.
Myka smiled. "I'll be down in a little bit." Pete turned to go back downstairs. "And tell Leena I don't mind chips in mine, she can go ahead and make yours and Claudia's, save mine and Helena's for last.
Pete stopped on the stairs and grinned back at Myka. He kissed his hand and waved his arm toward her.
Myka had stayed with Helena until she felt comfortable enough to be alone again. They both showered and dressed, heading downstairs after the others had already cleared out for the morning. Leena handed them their plates and left them alone. Even if she hadn't known about them, it was obvious that Helena needed it.
They had eaten in silence, rubbing each other's legs under the table. Myka put their dishes in the sink and turned to Helena, quietly watching her from her seat at the table. "We're going out today. I know a place, a good place away from here where we can be alone." Helena nodded. "It's a short drive and then a little bit of a walk."
"Okay."
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Myka led Helena into a small glade in the woods. There was a large maple tree and a soft floor of deep green grass. "It's beautiful, Myka. How did you ever find this place?"
Myka smiled at her. "Growing up spending most of your time alone, you learn how to find the best hiding spots," she winked. "Now come, sit with me. And tell me about your daughter."
"Myka..."
"Helena," Myka looked at her with such affection in her eyes. "Please. I want to know."
Helena nodded and they sat under the tree together. Myka put her arm around Helena's shoulders and Helena leaned into her.
"Who was her father?"
Helena sighed deeply and was silent for a moment, before beginning haltingly. "I...never knew his name." Myka frowned slightly and tried not to be upset about Helena having had a one night stand. "I was always prone to flirtation, a light touch and a quick wink with an easy smile. It was hardly my intent to mislead anyone; it was merely in my nature to be coquettish."
She sighed again and Myka felt her start to tense. "I was young...and naive. I had seen men at times get a little too firm in their expectations of me based on my flirtations. But I had never had any of them...even when they were inebriated. He...he was an acquaintance of Charles' I think, or perhaps my father's. I only saw him a handful of times, he...perhaps it was never my fault. But he seemed to think I had...misled him in some fashion." She swallowed and paused long. Myka stroked her arm softly, waiting patiently.
"He...had waited out back one evening, lingered after a night of brandy and men's tales. I was sneaking out to see one of my female lovers. I didn't see him in the shadows. He took me from behind, slammed me against the cobblestones. They were cold and wet against my skin, grit rubbed into the cuts on my cheek as he tore my dress. I fought as best I could, but I'd had no training. I tried to scream, but he'd known that I would and had wrapped a rag tight, gagging me. It tasted like sweat and smelled vaguely of fish and brandy. He grunted vulgar things into my ear as he forced him on me, proclaimed that I would pay for encouraging him, for leading him on falsely and that if I would not give myself up to him as he had been lead to expect, he would take what was fairly his by all rights due to my actions."
"That's terrible Helena. You didn't try to prosecute him?"
"My dear Myka...things were different then. And I had...a reputation of sorts. Even if it wasn't entirely true. No one would have believed me, so I told no one. When asked about the cuts on my face I explained that I had slipped on the road and cut my cheek when I fell. I had one friend who inquired about the dress, I had burned it, but I told her that I had caught the skirt on a loose nail and it had been ripped irreparably. Due to my less than shining reputation and that much of my company socially was with men, no one questioned when I was suddenly 'in an interesting condition.' I decided then that if men were going to use me, than I was going to use them first and remove from them the opportunity. So I accepted my reputation with relish. And I took up kenpo, no one would have such an easy task of subduing me again."
Myka hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry you went through that."
Helena sank into Myka more, laying her head in Myka's lap. She stroked Helena's hair softly. "I didn't have a choice but to go ahead with the pregnancy, but I did choose to keep her. My Christina. She was beautiful. As brilliant and sweet as anyone I'd known. She was my most glorious triumph. She smiled all the time and her heart was full of nothing but joy. She would have been an incredible woman." Helena sighed and curled her fingers around Myka's thigh. "Until those men took her from me."
"What men?"
"Claudia didn't tell you then?"
"She told me you'd lost your daughter and that you'd built the time machine because of that."
Helena sighed. "She is a good child, that girl. Reminds me of my Christina at times." Helena settled against Myka more and wandered in thought, Myka's fingers still brushing slowly through her hair. "Claudia had asked me where I went once I'd built the machine. I told her, I inhabited the body of Sophie, my cousin's housekeeper in Paris where I sent Christina when she had fallen ill. I thought the cleaner air and quieter environment would help her fever recede. Two men broke into the house, expecting it to be empty. I tried to fight them off as Sophie, but I failed. They killed my daughter."
"Helena..." Myka's voice was soft and soothing.
"I...I'm not proud of what I did to those men when I finally tracked them down. They paid for my pain. But they deserved what they got."
"You believe that still?"
"Yes." Helena's tone was firm, resolute.
"I'm so sorry you went through all of that, Helena. I wish I could have been there to help."
Helena sat up. "But then you wouldn't be here with me in this life." She smiled at Myka and kissed her softly. "And I am quite fond of having you now."
Myka wrapped her arms around Helena, pulling her close. "I'm rather fond of it myself." She kissed Helena long and slow. Their kiss deepened as Helena relaxed.
As they kissed Helena fell Myka against. Held close in Myka's arms, Helena threw off the weight of her past. Feeling a catharsis of-after 120 years-finally releasing herself from the secret of Christina's conception, she felt cleansed. And she wanted comfort. She slipped her hands under Myka's shirt and rubbed her sides softly. Sliding a leg between Myka's she broke their kiss. Helena looked at her, eyes heavy with desire and Myka swallowed. That gaze never ceased to catch her utterly off-guard, no one had ever looked at her that way and it sent her stomach into backflips. "Myka," Helena purred, "have you ever made love in the out-of-doors?" Myka slowly shook her head, transfixed by those eyes she was speechless. "It can be a rather glorious experience. Incredibly liberating." Helena kissed the crook of Myka's neck softly, her lips close to her ear. "You can scream as loud as you want, no one can hear you but me." Myka groaned and gripped Helena's body tighter. "May I, Myka?"
Myka arched her back, rolling her hips against Helena's thigh. "Please."
Helena laughed, a deep chuckle in the back of her throat as she undid Myka's jeans, slipping her hand inside. She kissed along Myka's jaw, sucking gently on her pulse point, careful not to mark her. Myka rolled her head back and pressed her hips against Helena's hand, begging. Helena slid her nimble fingers down, savoring how hot and wet she was. She rubbed Myka's clit gently and Myka moaned. "Oh yes, darling. Be loud, make as much noise as you wish. You are free, Myka." Helena ran her fingers slowly up and down Myka's clit, her lover's cries growing in volume as she let go her restraints. Myka's hips rose and fell as she ground against Helena's hand. God that woman knew just how to touch her. Helena's mouth wandered over the pale skin of Myka's neck and chest, kissing and licking and nipping ever so slightly, her fingers moving faster and pressing harder. Myka dug her nails into Helena's back. "Harder," she muttered.
"You want me to press harder, Myka?"
"Yes. Please."
"Anything you desire." Helena pressed her fingers firmer against Myka as she worked steady circles around her clit. She pressed into Myka's thigh, rolling her hips with each rise of her lover's; Myka's deep moans and soft whimpers were too much for her. She could feel Myka building-that familiar tremor in her thighs-and she slowed, lingering in the feeling of Myka's body.
"I need you inside me."
"Yes, darling." Helena pressed her fingers inside Myka slowly. She moaned deep and surged her hips up against Helena.
"Oh god." Myka arched her body against Helena's.
Helena bit down on the soft spot behind Myka's ear and she screamed. She pressed her hips down harder against Myka and worked her fingers in and out of her faster and faster. She was close; Helena pulled Myka closer against her body. Myka kissed her deeply, desperately. Helena pulled back just before she came; she wanted to hear Myka scream. She watched Myka's face as she came, her head rolled back gently and she let loose the most glorious moan. "You are beautiful when you climax, Myka." Myka caught her breath and looked at Helena, she pulled her close and kissed her deeply.
Myka fumbled blindly with Helena's pants, undoing the buttons while their tongues mingled. She bit down on Helena's lip and she moaned. "Myka..."
"I want to hear you cry out for me hear in these trees."
Helena ground heavily against Myka's thigh. "Oh please, darling."
Myka had finally gotten comfortable enough in her relationship with a woman, with Helena, to have made love to her with her tongue. And she found that she had quite a taste for it. She grabbed Helena by the hips and rolled them over so she sat astride her thighs. Helena looked up at Myka with wide eyes, breathing heavy. Myka pulled Helena's pants down, running her hands over her ass. "Mmmm, I can't get enough of touching your body, Helena."
Helena bucked her hips and Myka pushed her jeans down to her knees. "By all means, Myka, take your fill."
Myka ripped off Helena's boots and pulled her clothing free of her legs. Running her hands up the back of Helena's legs, she grabbed firmly onto her ass. "Oh I will." Myka pressed her lips to Helena and flicked her tongue over her clit.
Helena groaned deep and buried her fingers in Myka's curls. "Oh god, Myka."
Myka lapped at Helena slowly, drawing gentle patterns around her clit. Helena's hips rose and fell in rhythm with Myka; she bucked harder, pressing against Myka's mouth. Myka licked faster and pressed firmer as Helena moaned and gripped her hair tightly. She gripped Helena's ass harder, digging her nails in. Helena moaned loudly. "Yes, darling, oh yes." Myka flicked her tongue over Helena's clit, working circles around it. Helena's nails dug into Myka's scalp as her thighs started to tighten. She pressed Myka closer, grinding her hips up against her hard. Myka sucked her clit between her lips and fluttered the tip of her tongue over it; Helena gripped as tight as she could, pulling Myka's hair. Her hips bucked wildly as she screamed Myka's name at the top of her lungs when she came.
Helena sank down against the grass, Myka's hands still cupping her ass, panting. She released her hand from Myka's curls and caught her breath. Myka rested her cheek against Helena's thigh and stared up at her. "Oh my sweet, darling Myka." She stroked Myka's cheek softly. "Come here." Myka climbed up Helena's body; she pulled her and kissed her deep. "I'd like to stay here a while longer with you."
"We have all the time in the world, Helena."
chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8 chapter 9
also, triggery warning for rape. nothing explicit, but one is described. or well, the assault prior to the rape is described. not in incredible detail. really, it should be fine.
oh, rating is M, as usual. and thanks baby for reading over it.
10
Helena sighed. Alone in her room the weight of the day began to crash down upon her. She'd been insulted, yelled at, nearly tesla-ed, accused of trying to kill Pete and Myka, and worst of all, nearly lost the woman she loved with all her heart. Her eyes began to tear at the thought of having to go on without her.
There was a soft knock on her door. She wiped her eyes furiously and called for Myka to come in.
Myka opened the door slowly and closed it quietly behind her. She stepped over to Helena at her vanity, but stopped short. "Claudia told me what happened," she said in a small voice.
"She did?" Myka nodded. "What did she say?" Helena struggled to keep her voice calm, but Myka knew her better than the others and could hear the strain playing in her chords.
"That something happened and the power surged, which shorted out the circuits in the time machine. That you almost couldn't bring us back."
Helena admired Claudia's loyalty, she had managed to explain to Myka the danger she'd been in without calling fault on Artie. "I would have told you, Myka."
"I know."
Helena's eyes welled up again. "I almost lost you, Myka. My darling Myka." Helena crossed the distance between them and fell against Myka, holding her tight and sobbing on her shoulder.
Myka held her, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. "I'm here Helena. You didn't lose me."
She caught her breath. "But I almost did. So very closely. And Artie never would have forgiven me; he was going to shoot me. And it would have all been his bloody fault."
Myka furrowed her brow. "All his fault?"
"Shit." She honestly hadn't meant to say anything about that.
"Helena." Myka pushed her away so she could look her in the eyes. "Helena, what did he do to you?"
There was no anger in those green eyes. At least not for her. Myka rubbed a tear from her cheek with her thumb. Helena took a deep breath. "He pulsed the system. The time machine was drawing on the power system causing fluctuations and he sent a pulse to try to clear it. That's what fried the wiring."
Myka held her, hands resting gently against either cheek, searching those dark eyes for something, some clue. "What did he do to you, Helena?"
She didn't want to say, she didn't want to cause any more strife between the two of them. But there was no getting out of this. "Claudia ran off to get her snow globe, brilliant idea by the way." She forced a smile.
"Helena, don't be flip."
She nodded slightly and the smile faded. "Artie found me, alone, messing frantically with the wires of my time machine. He held a tesla to the back of my head, and ordered me to stop what I was doing. I was forced to sit on the platform at gunpoint with my hands behind my head like a prisoner until Claudia and Rebecca came back." She took a breath. "He accused me of trying to kill you. He didn't believe me. He didn't believe Claudia. It was only when Rebecca took responsibility that he listened." Her breath caught and she cut herself off.
"Helena..." Myka held her face and ducked her head slightly as she tried to catch HG's dropped gaze. "What aren't you telling me?"
She shook her head at first, refusing to tell Myka what that man had said to her then. It was said in anger, out of fear and desperation and he didn't mean it. Probably. She looked up at Myka. The worry playing on her face, the hurt and fear tugging at her eyes. "He threatened to kill me if I didn't bring you back."
"I'm gonna kill him." Myka turned and was headed for the door.
"Myka, please." She stopped. "Myka. Please. Let it go." She turned around. "I need you." Helena's voice was weak, small, like a child in the dark.
Myka rushed to her and held her close. "I'm here, Helena." She stroked her hair. "It's okay, Helena."
HG caught her breath between sobs. "I can't lose you too."
Myka's heart broke and her own eyes teared up. But she had to be strong for Helena. "You didn't lose me, Helena. I'm right here. I'll always be right here." She kissed Helena's hair and held her head gently as she cried.
Myka held her until she'd calmed a little. "Let's get you to bed, sweetie," she spoke softly as she moved them toward the bed.
"Stay with me tonight."
"Of course." Myka laid Helena down in bed and covered her with the comforter. She stepped back to go change, but Helena pulled on her thigh.
"Don't go."
"I was just gonna change."
"Please, Myka...I don't want to be alone." Her voice grew desperate.
"Okay, okay." Myka took off her jeans and bra and laid them over Helena's desk chair before climbing into bed behind her. Helena melted instantly into her body. Myka wrapped her arm around Helena's waist and pulled her close. "Sleep, Helena."
Helena's breathing slowed as she drifted off to sleep. "I'm sorry, Christina," she murmured before she fell still for the night.
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Myka woke and found herself wrapped tightly in Helena's arms and smiled. She was so beautiful when she slept, so warm and comfortable beside her. Myka kissed her forehead and stroked Helena's hair until she woke.
"Mmmm." Helena nuzzled against Myka's shoulder. "That feels wonderful, Myka."
"Good." Myka hugged her tight and kissed her forehead again. "Helena, will you be okay here for a little while?"
"Yes, but don't leave yet, Myka." Helena pulled Myka closer to her.
"Okay."
Pete hovered around Leena in the kitchen as she made waffles. "Did you put chocolate chips in there?"
"No, Pete. Not everyone likes them."
"Awww," he pouted.
"I'll make yours last and put chips in for you."
"Score!"
Leena chuckled to herself.
Artie roared from the hall, then the dining room and finally the man caught up to his voice in the kitchen. "And I am not done talking to you young lady." Claudia saluted following him. "But-" Artie's stomach growled, and Claudia eyed him smugly. "I need to eat first."
"Leena's making waffles for breakfast!" Pete grinned.
"With chocolate chips?" Claudia perked up.
"I'll put them in yours too."
"Sweet." Pete high fived her.
"Pete, I wanted to say, job well done yesterday. Despite one glaringly bad decision. But, I know you had a long day, so I'm giving you and Myka the day off." He eyed Claudia's hopeful smile sideways. "I'm giving all of you the day off."
"Thank you." Pete nodded. Claudia threw her arms up in a silent cheer.
Artie nodded. "Where is Myka?"
"Probably upstairs still doing her girly morning stuff."
"You mean like brushing her teeth?" Claudia smirked at him.
Pete made a face at her. "I'll check on her."
Pete headed upstairs and caught Myka coming out of Helena's room with her bra in her hand. "Did you...?"
Myka froze. "What?"
"You didn't...Myka..."
Myka stared at him and wrinkled her forehead. "What Pete?"
"Did you sleep with her?"
"Pete." Myka sighed. "Yesterday was...rough for her. She didn't want to be alone last night. So I stayed with her."
Pete nodded. "Hey, so...Artie gave us the day off." He grinned big. "And Leena's making waffles." He was considerably more excited about the waffles.
Myka smiled. "I'll be down in a little bit." Pete turned to go back downstairs. "And tell Leena I don't mind chips in mine, she can go ahead and make yours and Claudia's, save mine and Helena's for last.
Pete stopped on the stairs and grinned back at Myka. He kissed his hand and waved his arm toward her.
Myka had stayed with Helena until she felt comfortable enough to be alone again. They both showered and dressed, heading downstairs after the others had already cleared out for the morning. Leena handed them their plates and left them alone. Even if she hadn't known about them, it was obvious that Helena needed it.
They had eaten in silence, rubbing each other's legs under the table. Myka put their dishes in the sink and turned to Helena, quietly watching her from her seat at the table. "We're going out today. I know a place, a good place away from here where we can be alone." Helena nodded. "It's a short drive and then a little bit of a walk."
"Okay."
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Myka led Helena into a small glade in the woods. There was a large maple tree and a soft floor of deep green grass. "It's beautiful, Myka. How did you ever find this place?"
Myka smiled at her. "Growing up spending most of your time alone, you learn how to find the best hiding spots," she winked. "Now come, sit with me. And tell me about your daughter."
"Myka..."
"Helena," Myka looked at her with such affection in her eyes. "Please. I want to know."
Helena nodded and they sat under the tree together. Myka put her arm around Helena's shoulders and Helena leaned into her.
"Who was her father?"
Helena sighed deeply and was silent for a moment, before beginning haltingly. "I...never knew his name." Myka frowned slightly and tried not to be upset about Helena having had a one night stand. "I was always prone to flirtation, a light touch and a quick wink with an easy smile. It was hardly my intent to mislead anyone; it was merely in my nature to be coquettish."
She sighed again and Myka felt her start to tense. "I was young...and naive. I had seen men at times get a little too firm in their expectations of me based on my flirtations. But I had never had any of them...even when they were inebriated. He...he was an acquaintance of Charles' I think, or perhaps my father's. I only saw him a handful of times, he...perhaps it was never my fault. But he seemed to think I had...misled him in some fashion." She swallowed and paused long. Myka stroked her arm softly, waiting patiently.
"He...had waited out back one evening, lingered after a night of brandy and men's tales. I was sneaking out to see one of my female lovers. I didn't see him in the shadows. He took me from behind, slammed me against the cobblestones. They were cold and wet against my skin, grit rubbed into the cuts on my cheek as he tore my dress. I fought as best I could, but I'd had no training. I tried to scream, but he'd known that I would and had wrapped a rag tight, gagging me. It tasted like sweat and smelled vaguely of fish and brandy. He grunted vulgar things into my ear as he forced him on me, proclaimed that I would pay for encouraging him, for leading him on falsely and that if I would not give myself up to him as he had been lead to expect, he would take what was fairly his by all rights due to my actions."
"That's terrible Helena. You didn't try to prosecute him?"
"My dear Myka...things were different then. And I had...a reputation of sorts. Even if it wasn't entirely true. No one would have believed me, so I told no one. When asked about the cuts on my face I explained that I had slipped on the road and cut my cheek when I fell. I had one friend who inquired about the dress, I had burned it, but I told her that I had caught the skirt on a loose nail and it had been ripped irreparably. Due to my less than shining reputation and that much of my company socially was with men, no one questioned when I was suddenly 'in an interesting condition.' I decided then that if men were going to use me, than I was going to use them first and remove from them the opportunity. So I accepted my reputation with relish. And I took up kenpo, no one would have such an easy task of subduing me again."
Myka hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry you went through that."
Helena sank into Myka more, laying her head in Myka's lap. She stroked Helena's hair softly. "I didn't have a choice but to go ahead with the pregnancy, but I did choose to keep her. My Christina. She was beautiful. As brilliant and sweet as anyone I'd known. She was my most glorious triumph. She smiled all the time and her heart was full of nothing but joy. She would have been an incredible woman." Helena sighed and curled her fingers around Myka's thigh. "Until those men took her from me."
"What men?"
"Claudia didn't tell you then?"
"She told me you'd lost your daughter and that you'd built the time machine because of that."
Helena sighed. "She is a good child, that girl. Reminds me of my Christina at times." Helena settled against Myka more and wandered in thought, Myka's fingers still brushing slowly through her hair. "Claudia had asked me where I went once I'd built the machine. I told her, I inhabited the body of Sophie, my cousin's housekeeper in Paris where I sent Christina when she had fallen ill. I thought the cleaner air and quieter environment would help her fever recede. Two men broke into the house, expecting it to be empty. I tried to fight them off as Sophie, but I failed. They killed my daughter."
"Helena..." Myka's voice was soft and soothing.
"I...I'm not proud of what I did to those men when I finally tracked them down. They paid for my pain. But they deserved what they got."
"You believe that still?"
"Yes." Helena's tone was firm, resolute.
"I'm so sorry you went through all of that, Helena. I wish I could have been there to help."
Helena sat up. "But then you wouldn't be here with me in this life." She smiled at Myka and kissed her softly. "And I am quite fond of having you now."
Myka wrapped her arms around Helena, pulling her close. "I'm rather fond of it myself." She kissed Helena long and slow. Their kiss deepened as Helena relaxed.
As they kissed Helena fell Myka against. Held close in Myka's arms, Helena threw off the weight of her past. Feeling a catharsis of-after 120 years-finally releasing herself from the secret of Christina's conception, she felt cleansed. And she wanted comfort. She slipped her hands under Myka's shirt and rubbed her sides softly. Sliding a leg between Myka's she broke their kiss. Helena looked at her, eyes heavy with desire and Myka swallowed. That gaze never ceased to catch her utterly off-guard, no one had ever looked at her that way and it sent her stomach into backflips. "Myka," Helena purred, "have you ever made love in the out-of-doors?" Myka slowly shook her head, transfixed by those eyes she was speechless. "It can be a rather glorious experience. Incredibly liberating." Helena kissed the crook of Myka's neck softly, her lips close to her ear. "You can scream as loud as you want, no one can hear you but me." Myka groaned and gripped Helena's body tighter. "May I, Myka?"
Myka arched her back, rolling her hips against Helena's thigh. "Please."
Helena laughed, a deep chuckle in the back of her throat as she undid Myka's jeans, slipping her hand inside. She kissed along Myka's jaw, sucking gently on her pulse point, careful not to mark her. Myka rolled her head back and pressed her hips against Helena's hand, begging. Helena slid her nimble fingers down, savoring how hot and wet she was. She rubbed Myka's clit gently and Myka moaned. "Oh yes, darling. Be loud, make as much noise as you wish. You are free, Myka." Helena ran her fingers slowly up and down Myka's clit, her lover's cries growing in volume as she let go her restraints. Myka's hips rose and fell as she ground against Helena's hand. God that woman knew just how to touch her. Helena's mouth wandered over the pale skin of Myka's neck and chest, kissing and licking and nipping ever so slightly, her fingers moving faster and pressing harder. Myka dug her nails into Helena's back. "Harder," she muttered.
"You want me to press harder, Myka?"
"Yes. Please."
"Anything you desire." Helena pressed her fingers firmer against Myka as she worked steady circles around her clit. She pressed into Myka's thigh, rolling her hips with each rise of her lover's; Myka's deep moans and soft whimpers were too much for her. She could feel Myka building-that familiar tremor in her thighs-and she slowed, lingering in the feeling of Myka's body.
"I need you inside me."
"Yes, darling." Helena pressed her fingers inside Myka slowly. She moaned deep and surged her hips up against Helena.
"Oh god." Myka arched her body against Helena's.
Helena bit down on the soft spot behind Myka's ear and she screamed. She pressed her hips down harder against Myka and worked her fingers in and out of her faster and faster. She was close; Helena pulled Myka closer against her body. Myka kissed her deeply, desperately. Helena pulled back just before she came; she wanted to hear Myka scream. She watched Myka's face as she came, her head rolled back gently and she let loose the most glorious moan. "You are beautiful when you climax, Myka." Myka caught her breath and looked at Helena, she pulled her close and kissed her deeply.
Myka fumbled blindly with Helena's pants, undoing the buttons while their tongues mingled. She bit down on Helena's lip and she moaned. "Myka..."
"I want to hear you cry out for me hear in these trees."
Helena ground heavily against Myka's thigh. "Oh please, darling."
Myka had finally gotten comfortable enough in her relationship with a woman, with Helena, to have made love to her with her tongue. And she found that she had quite a taste for it. She grabbed Helena by the hips and rolled them over so she sat astride her thighs. Helena looked up at Myka with wide eyes, breathing heavy. Myka pulled Helena's pants down, running her hands over her ass. "Mmmm, I can't get enough of touching your body, Helena."
Helena bucked her hips and Myka pushed her jeans down to her knees. "By all means, Myka, take your fill."
Myka ripped off Helena's boots and pulled her clothing free of her legs. Running her hands up the back of Helena's legs, she grabbed firmly onto her ass. "Oh I will." Myka pressed her lips to Helena and flicked her tongue over her clit.
Helena groaned deep and buried her fingers in Myka's curls. "Oh god, Myka."
Myka lapped at Helena slowly, drawing gentle patterns around her clit. Helena's hips rose and fell in rhythm with Myka; she bucked harder, pressing against Myka's mouth. Myka licked faster and pressed firmer as Helena moaned and gripped her hair tightly. She gripped Helena's ass harder, digging her nails in. Helena moaned loudly. "Yes, darling, oh yes." Myka flicked her tongue over Helena's clit, working circles around it. Helena's nails dug into Myka's scalp as her thighs started to tighten. She pressed Myka closer, grinding her hips up against her hard. Myka sucked her clit between her lips and fluttered the tip of her tongue over it; Helena gripped as tight as she could, pulling Myka's hair. Her hips bucked wildly as she screamed Myka's name at the top of her lungs when she came.
Helena sank down against the grass, Myka's hands still cupping her ass, panting. She released her hand from Myka's curls and caught her breath. Myka rested her cheek against Helena's thigh and stared up at her. "Oh my sweet, darling Myka." She stroked Myka's cheek softly. "Come here." Myka climbed up Helena's body; she pulled her and kissed her deep. "I'd like to stay here a while longer with you."
"We have all the time in the world, Helena."