hc_bingo extra: straight line 2
Title: Life or Something Like It
Fandom: FF13
Pairing: none
Prompt: Forced to Participate in Illegal/Hurtful Activity, Mental Health Issues, WILD CARD (Family), Combat, Runaways
Rating: PG
Word Count: 728
Summary: Pulse is a dangerous world, even if you’re a l’Cie. But sometimes the most dangerous places are all in your head. Hope spends way too much time there.
AN: Written, as the subject and tag say, for hc_bingo. Masterpost with game card is here.
Hope stared up at the false moon that filled the sky from down here. Cocoon. Home.
A home that thought he was pure evil. He rubbed a hand absently over his wrist and the mark hidden under his bandana. Except it wasn’t home anymore, was it? He wondered if his father was even still alive. After they’d left, had the soldiers killed him? Was he an orphan for real by now?
He sighed, shoving himself to his feet to walk around the edge of the camp. He’d drawn the short straw for the middle watch, but he supposed he should at least be glad that they trusted him enough now to give him any watch at all. Before this all started, he wasn’t sure he would have trusted himself enough. He’d spent most of his time running away from his problems, but he couldn’t exactly get away from this one, could he? None of them could.
Destroy everything he’d ever known, or become a monster right out of a nightmare. How was that for a choice? Whenever they fought a Cie’th he wondered, do they go crazy as soon as they change? Or are they just in so much pain because of what they’ve become that they want to die?
Would he still remember who he was when he wasn’t him anymore?
He jumped when he heard a sound behind him, swinging around, boomerang raised, only to find Snow with his hands up and a wary smile on his face. “Whoa, kid. Little jumpy there?”
...Great. Just great. They were never going to trust him again. His shoulders slumped as he lowered his weapon. “Sorry. Was just thinking.”
Snow nodded, like this was a perfectly normal conversation to have in near-whispers in the middle of the night on the camping trip from hell. Snow’s definition of normal had always seemed a little suspect. “Understandable. There’s a lot to think about.”
Hope hesitated but eventually shrugged. “Yeah. Do you... do you really think we’ll make it?” They had to survive Pulse, let alone all the people on Cocoon who wanted them dead, assuming they ever even managed to find a way up there, and they still didn’t know if they’d be able to complete their Focus. That was a lot of if.
Not that it seemed to bother Snow. He struck his ‘hero’ pose that always made Hope roll his eyes. “You can count on it. Serah trusted us not to fail. So we won’t fail. You’ll see.”
Hope turned back to the dark landscape, turning his back on Snow again. “Yeah. I’ll see.”
He heard the footsteps this time, so he didn’t jump when Snow curled an arm around his shoulders. “I’m serious. We’ll beat whoever we have to beat to finish this. Even Dysley. Show him that we aren’t his pawns, even if we are l’Cie.”
That was a pretty convincing argument. Maybe he was already going crazy. He craned his neck to look up at Snow. “You really think so?”
Snow laughed and ruffled his hair, ignoring Hope’s automatic protest. “Yes, I think so. I just said, didn’t I? As long as we stick together, we’re golden.” He shoved at Hope’s shoulder. “Now go to bed. I can get the rest of this watch.”
Hope stood his ground. “I... I’d like to stay up. I mean. I’m good. To keep watch.” At least it was dark so Snow couldn’t mock him for being embarrassed on top of everything. “You can stay, if you want, though.”
Snow nodded after a second. “Yeah, okay. I’ll stay.”
They fell silent after that, and Hope went back to his thoughts, watching Cocoon as much as for monsters. So maybe he was a l’Cie and doomed at fifteen. That sucked, but maybe there was something good about it, too. Maybe he didn’t have a family anymore, but he’d found the next best thing. Fighting next to them, and sometimes fighting with them, had taught him a lot about himself. Most of it wasn’t very good, but they still had a long ways to go. Maybe...
“Oh, and Hope?”
He jerked out of his thoughts again, almost as startled as the first time. “Huh?”
Snow tapped his own forehead. “Stop thinking so much. You’re giving me a migraine.”
Sometimes he still had to remind himself that killing family was bad.
This entry was originally posted at http://envious-muses.dreamwidth.org/14020.html.
Fandom: FF13
Pairing: none
Prompt: Forced to Participate in Illegal/Hurtful Activity, Mental Health Issues, WILD CARD (Family), Combat, Runaways
Rating: PG
Word Count: 728
Summary: Pulse is a dangerous world, even if you’re a l’Cie. But sometimes the most dangerous places are all in your head. Hope spends way too much time there.
AN: Written, as the subject and tag say, for hc_bingo. Masterpost with game card is here.
Hope stared up at the false moon that filled the sky from down here. Cocoon. Home.
A home that thought he was pure evil. He rubbed a hand absently over his wrist and the mark hidden under his bandana. Except it wasn’t home anymore, was it? He wondered if his father was even still alive. After they’d left, had the soldiers killed him? Was he an orphan for real by now?
He sighed, shoving himself to his feet to walk around the edge of the camp. He’d drawn the short straw for the middle watch, but he supposed he should at least be glad that they trusted him enough now to give him any watch at all. Before this all started, he wasn’t sure he would have trusted himself enough. He’d spent most of his time running away from his problems, but he couldn’t exactly get away from this one, could he? None of them could.
Destroy everything he’d ever known, or become a monster right out of a nightmare. How was that for a choice? Whenever they fought a Cie’th he wondered, do they go crazy as soon as they change? Or are they just in so much pain because of what they’ve become that they want to die?
Would he still remember who he was when he wasn’t him anymore?
He jumped when he heard a sound behind him, swinging around, boomerang raised, only to find Snow with his hands up and a wary smile on his face. “Whoa, kid. Little jumpy there?”
...Great. Just great. They were never going to trust him again. His shoulders slumped as he lowered his weapon. “Sorry. Was just thinking.”
Snow nodded, like this was a perfectly normal conversation to have in near-whispers in the middle of the night on the camping trip from hell. Snow’s definition of normal had always seemed a little suspect. “Understandable. There’s a lot to think about.”
Hope hesitated but eventually shrugged. “Yeah. Do you... do you really think we’ll make it?” They had to survive Pulse, let alone all the people on Cocoon who wanted them dead, assuming they ever even managed to find a way up there, and they still didn’t know if they’d be able to complete their Focus. That was a lot of if.
Not that it seemed to bother Snow. He struck his ‘hero’ pose that always made Hope roll his eyes. “You can count on it. Serah trusted us not to fail. So we won’t fail. You’ll see.”
Hope turned back to the dark landscape, turning his back on Snow again. “Yeah. I’ll see.”
He heard the footsteps this time, so he didn’t jump when Snow curled an arm around his shoulders. “I’m serious. We’ll beat whoever we have to beat to finish this. Even Dysley. Show him that we aren’t his pawns, even if we are l’Cie.”
That was a pretty convincing argument. Maybe he was already going crazy. He craned his neck to look up at Snow. “You really think so?”
Snow laughed and ruffled his hair, ignoring Hope’s automatic protest. “Yes, I think so. I just said, didn’t I? As long as we stick together, we’re golden.” He shoved at Hope’s shoulder. “Now go to bed. I can get the rest of this watch.”
Hope stood his ground. “I... I’d like to stay up. I mean. I’m good. To keep watch.” At least it was dark so Snow couldn’t mock him for being embarrassed on top of everything. “You can stay, if you want, though.”
Snow nodded after a second. “Yeah, okay. I’ll stay.”
They fell silent after that, and Hope went back to his thoughts, watching Cocoon as much as for monsters. So maybe he was a l’Cie and doomed at fifteen. That sucked, but maybe there was something good about it, too. Maybe he didn’t have a family anymore, but he’d found the next best thing. Fighting next to them, and sometimes fighting with them, had taught him a lot about himself. Most of it wasn’t very good, but they still had a long ways to go. Maybe...
“Oh, and Hope?”
He jerked out of his thoughts again, almost as startled as the first time. “Huh?”
Snow tapped his own forehead. “Stop thinking so much. You’re giving me a migraine.”
Sometimes he still had to remind himself that killing family was bad.
This entry was originally posted at http://envious-muses.dreamwidth.org/14020.html.