Maybe cuz it's sunny outside, maybe because I know that I have people who love me, maybe because I just laughed and it felt really good. Whatever the reason I'm feeling a lot better today. Better than I usually do or have been feeling lately. What's surprising is that everything is just as shitty as it's always been...maybe shittier in some aspects ( Read more... )

As I look out my window; A thousand thots swim in my head ( Read more... )

I've been writing poet tree lately. Trying, desperately, to calm the storm of thot that's always flowing thru my head. I get frustrated when I can't spit it out or make it breathe. But then something inside of me shouts "THANK GOD!" I can't help but be greatful for the fact that I can't empty it all out. Then I'd be deflated and lonely. My thots ( Read more... )

It's all misshaped and rejected. Way too ugly to ever TRUELY understand. The mind is a terrible thing to waste...but it's also a terrible thing to misunderstand. Not understanding the pieces on the inside will destroy ALL of them over time ( Read more... )

I'm so filled with thots that I almost feel emptee. It's strange and doesn't make sense but I'm just chasing them around right now. Trying to catch one that I'm happy with. Maybe I'm happy with all of them...I can't tell ( Read more... )

I've been feeling very stressed out lately. It's like the littlest things pick and gnaw at my brain and it's really starting to annoy me. I know that I need to "chillax". The greatest weapon against this demon called stress is choosing one thot over another...it's just not that simple. The leading cause of this disease is reality...I guess I'm just ( Read more... )

Life has a tendency to fall apart. Sometimes it falls back together but it looks and feels different ( Read more... )

I cling too tightly to things from my past. I know I shouldn't, I know it's not "healthy", but it's all that I know. I don't know where to go or what to do and I feel as though everyone was given a map but me. I'm just feeling pretty low today. I guess my happiness depends on the little shit too much. I'm trying to focus my powers on the craft of ( Read more... )

Writing was so beautiful last night that I cried. It was so meaningful...sleep didn't come, but it's been my NME for awhile now. Talking of things that have happened, things that have molded me and sculpted my entire life, hurt a little but Preston's always willing to listen. He made me laugh and it felt so good. Taking a tragedy, an unwanted ( Read more... )

Sometimes I think that this whole journal thing is a little fuct up and funny. I must admit that it's a good way to communicate with others and express what's on your mind, but updating has become somewhat of a hassle to me. It's always good for me to pour my emotions into writing but maybe on paper...not on a computer screen. I feel the difference ( Read more... )