Numb3rs/Firefly Fic: Across the Universe
Posted to numb3rs_fic
Crossposted to firefly_plus and n3crossovers
Title: Across the Universe
Pairing/Characters: Mal, Don, Wash/Zoe, Larry/Megan, Billy/Kaylee, Jayne, Simon, River, Book, Charlie, Colby, David, Ian
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Pilot, Sniper Zero, Man Hunt, Judgment Call (Numb3rs), Pilot (Firefly)
Summary: Mal does a crew count before takeoff with fellow browncoat Don (AU)
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ
"That's the last of it."
Mal finished checking the cargo list, scanned the cargo bay and checked the outside one last time before smacking his hand against the button to raise the ramp.
"Captain! Refueling is complete and we have clearance to take off."
Wash's voice came out of the intercom so Mal picked up the handset to answer.
"Then let's get this boat in the air," he replied.
"It's hard not to respond when I hear someone say captain." Mal looked to where Don was ruminating amidst the cases of his and his crew's possessions. "Technically I'm not a captain anymore now that I've sold my ship."
"Technically we're not browncoats anymore either," Mal reminded him with a friendly clap on the back. "But we'll always think of each other that way."
"Yeah," Don agreed with a sentimental smile.
"And you'll have your new ship in six days, maybe less if Wash and Kaylee can coax a little more speed out of Serenity."
Don waved a hand dismissively. "Take your time. In fact I'd prefer it if it took the full six days. My crew's worked hard. They need a break."
"In that case, why not let them go on a real vacation?" Mal asked as they walked up the stairs out of the cargo bay together. "You could have hired a much faster - and I'll admit much more luxurious - ship to take you across the verse from where you sold your boat to where you're buying your new one. Not that I'm not grateful for the work, mind you, but we're a cargo ship, not a pleasure vessel - companions Inara and Amita not withstanding," he added hastily.
Don let out a long exhalation. "I could take them to Pelorum and they'd have a good time for a day or so, but then they'd get bored and antsy... No, what they really need is to let their guard down. We spend so much time on Alliance planets, working with Alliance police..."
"A necessary evil, you being kidnap recovery specialists and all," Mal interjected.
"Exactly." Don shook his head, his expression filled with sadness and dismay. "I can't tell you how many families hire us because they believe former rebels are the ones behind the kidnapping of their loved ones. They think we have an in, that we speak their language or something, that since we fought together they'll trust us over the Alliance police. Truth is it's just greedy people, vindictive people who kidnap. Not rebels." He hung his head for a moment. "We lost that war. We can't win it back by taking on rich and powerful Alliance families one by one."
"I hear that." Mal nodded in solidarity.
Don straightened up and looked at Mal. "My crew can never relax in Alliance territory or on Alliance ships. That's why I hired you. We know you, we trust your crew to handle things, so the whole week my people can spend doing whatever they want without having to look over their shoulder for a change."
"Can't think of a better gift a captain can give his crew," Mal said solemnly. "You're a good man, Don."
"Thanks." They walked up the stairs heading for the bridge. "So do you do a crew count before take off?" he asked.
"Not as I'd tell the crew, but sure enough I do every time. Almost leaving Jayne behind twice showed me I had to, though sometimes I ain't so sure leaving him behind would've been such a bad idea."
Don chortled as they walked onto the bridge.
"Wash! I said get this boat in the air! Why're we still in dock?"
Wash looked up guiltily from the floor where he sat under the helm with Charlie, both of their hands in a mass of wires.
"Sorry, Mal. Charlie and I thought we'd have time to finish this one quick mod before we got underway."
"It's all installed," Charlie promised, twisting wires as he spoke. "I just thought we should check to make sure the wiring won't overload as a result of the increased amperage."
"Ah, a critical distinction," Mal pretended to muse, before adding with some force, "completely lost on a captain who just wants his ship to fly!" Mal shot a brief glare at Wash, who looked suitably chastened, before turning his attention back to Charlie. "This is how it's going to be, my fine genius friend," Mal said, crouching down to Charlie's level. "This is my boat and you do not attempt any modifications - regardless of how good your intentions are - without my advance permission. Not Wash's, mine. Now if this boat ain't in the air in fifteen minutes I'm charging your brother here double for your passage. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes," Charlie said a bit sullenly.
"I believe that should be 'Yes, Captain'?" Mal mocked.
"Don!" Charlie looked up at his brother who shrugged, barely able to suppress a grin.
"Not my boat, buddy. He's the captain, not me."
"Fine," Charlie grumbled. "I accept your terms."
Mal put a hand behind his ear. "What was that you said?"
"Best just to humor him," Wash said under his breath.
"Yes, Captain," Charlie said sarcastically.
"Excellent!" Mal said brightly. He turned around to leave with Don in tow. "Then I'll be expecting us to be leaving on time. Clock's ticking..." Once he and Don got out of earshot, they both laughed.
"Think he'll actually obey that order?" Don asked.
"Probably not," Mal said, shaking his head. "But at least he'll think first before he opens up a panel on his own. Not that he'd leave us stranded in the black, but a man's got a right to know who's mucking about his ship's parts, you know?"
"Absolutely," Don agreed as they headed through the fore passage.
"Give me a second! I'm going to grab a few brews from the mess!" Jayne headed into the dining area leaving Ian waiting near the crew quarters.
"Making friends already?" Mal teased, glancing from Ian to Jayne. "I know it's slim pickings on board, but you couldn't do better than Jayne your first day?"
"He said he's going to introduce me to Vera." Ian accepted a bottle from Jayne as he returned.
"My bunk's down here," Jayne said, opening the hatch to his bunk and heading down the stairs into it.
"Uh, Ian?" Mal said hesitantly. Ian turned around as he waited for his turn at the ladder. "You do know that Vera's a gun, right?"
Ian looked at him, totally unfazed. "Yeah, so?" He popped the top on the bottle, took a swig and headed down after Jayne with a grin on his face.
"I give him twenty minutes before he goes and drags his sniper rifle out of the cargo hold," Don bemoaned. "I made him pack it away for a reason!"
"Boys will be boys," Mal said with a smirk. "Always got to be comparing the size of their guns. But hey! A drink doesn't sound like a bad plan. Crew counting's thirsty work! You with me?"
"Sure," Don said, loosening up. "After all it's my vacation too, right?"
Mal escorted him into the dining area where Megan and Zoe were engaged in a head down discussion across the table from each other.
"A tactical retreat is a viable alternative most of the time," Zoe was stating, in all seriousness, as Megan leaned forward, taking in every word. "But marrying it with the Crazy Ivan maneuver..."
"Yes, but that only works with reversible thrusters," Megan interjected. "Our new ship doesn't have them. We had to sacrifice them for greater speed and larger fuel storage to eliminate the need to stop for gas when time's critical on a kidnapping case."
"Ladies..." Mal stepped into the room, beaming. "How are our first mates getting along?"
"You've got yourself a first rate second in command," Zoe told Don, who nodded in acknowledgment and appreciation. "I can't believe Megan's not off running her own crew," she added slyly.
"Don't think that's not part of our expansion plans," Don pointed out, squeezing Megan's shoulder affectionately as he followed Mal towards the kitchen.
"You guys doing a crew count?" Megan asked, leaning back in her chair, arm slung over the back in a relaxed fashion.
"A crew count? Now why would you think I can't trust my crew to..." Mal stopped himself. "No, I can't even act surprised." He handed Don a bottle and took one for himself as well. "Just don't tell Jayne. He gets ornery when he thinks I'm keeping tabs on him."
"Got it," Megan said, gesturing as if making a note of it. "Note to self: Jayne bites."
"Not to worry," Mal joshed. "He's had all his shots. I made sure of it." He beckoned and Don followed him into the aft passage, heading for the engine room. After a few steps he held a finger to his mouth to quiet Don then snuck back towards the entrance to the dining room to eavesdrop on Megan and Zoe.
"Seriously, I don't get the Larry thing."
"Well, I bet a lot of people don't get you and Wash."
"True. He may come off as a total nāozhǒng, but he's a Viking in the sack."
"I know Larry's a total shūdāizi, but he's brilliant - so brilliant I can't even figure out most of what he says, but he makes me want to get it! And he's unpredictable. I definitely like unpredictable."
They tiptoed away, both grinning. "I knew they couldn't really be talking tactical before we came in," Mal said, mocking shock. "The Crazy Ivan was a dead giveaway."
"Hey, that Crazy Ivan maneuver saved our bacon once so I'm going to miss being able to pull it," Don said, his tone filled with nostalgia. "I'm going to miss The Craftsman. She was a good ship."
"Got a name for your new boat yet?" Mal asked as they crossed the passage to the engine room and headed inside.
"Hate to say it, but I'm thinking of The Craftsman 2." Don gave him a wry smile. "Call me unoriginal."
Mal cleared his throat rather loudly and there was an answering noise behind the engine - the clang of a dropped tool followed by the rustle of clothing. "Kaylee!" he bellowed.
"Yes, Cap'n!" Kaylee appeared from behind the engine, hair mussed, still straightening her shirt as Billy appeared behind her, unable to keep the smug smirk from his face.
"Now see here, young lady. You can have all the R and R you want once we're on our way, but until Wash gets this boat in the air and out of orbit I need you working on keeping Serenity flying, not coming up for air with Coop here."
"Yes, Cap'n!" Kaylee was as bright and smiley as always, looking ever obedient save the hand behind her back slapping Billy's hands away surreptitiously. "No problem!"
"Until we're in the air, Coop," Don repeated, eyes on Billy. "And out of orbit."
"Yes, sir!" Billy responded with a smarmy salute, making Don just chuckle.
Mal and Don turned to leave and Kaylee was giggling again within seconds.
"We might need a seventh day for this trip," Mal deadpanned.
"That I wouldn't mind," Don said with a chortle. "But if you charge me extra for waylaying your engineer from her duties it's coming out of Coop's pay."
"She strands us in the black 'cause of him, it's coming out of his hide!" Mal retorted.
They turned to take the stairs down to the Med Bay, coming out in time to see Simon midway through wrapping bandages around Colby's bare ribcage as he sat shirtless on the exam table.
"How's our patient doing?" Don asked, clapping Colby on the shoulder.
"The Alliance doctors did an excellent job repairing the broken ribs, but whoever wrapped his bandages made them too loose to provide the required support for healing."
"In short," Colby interjected. "Simon was sure he could do it better."
Simon's arms went around Colby's waist as he wound the bandages around slowly and carefully, the action keeping them in very close proximity, which Colby didn't seem to mind in the least.
"As long as you avoid strenuous activity and keep up with your bandages - they'll help keep you from overdoing it - you should be back working in a couple more weeks."
"I trust you to take good care of him, Doctor," Don said, nodding his appreciation before turning his attention to Colby. "No strenuous activity," he repeated. "That means you get whoever else you're with to do the hard work for you, understand?"
Don could barely suppress a grin and Mal gave him a little wink, which Simon - fully engrossed in Colby's torso - missed entirely.
"Yes, Sir," Colby responded, a knowing grin on his own face. "I'm sure I can find someone on the ship to give me a hand if I need one."
"Good man!" Mal said brightly. "Just don't be leaving my boat with more bumps and bruises than you came with, you hear?"
Mal led the way out to the common room where they found David and Book lounging around, enjoying a relaxed conversation.
"Trust me on this," Book was stressing as they approached.
"Shepherd!" Mal took in the two of them with an amused expression. "You enlightening this poor heathen into the ways of the good book?"
"More like a good meal!" David responded. "The good shepherd knows quite a few good restaurants on Alliance planets!"
"And how does a simple man of the cloth know so much about fancy dinners?" Don asked, perching on the edge of a chair as he took a drink from the bottle in his hand.
"I may be a man of the cloth," Book said with a sly expression, "but I'm far from simple. Besides I had to have eaten before I took up my mission and, as David here and I have been discussing, some meals are truly memorable."
"The fresh bao on Sihnon," Don waxed nostalgic.
"Gung bao ji ding on Osiris," David chimed in, a blissful smile on his face.
"Unagi don with sunomono and miso soup on Persephone," Book rhapsodized. "So unassuming yet exquisite."
"Gorram, you're making me hungry!" Mal complained. He glanced around briefly. "Any of you fellows seen little miss fengzi around? I ain't seen her and that's always worrisome. I'd go check her bunk, but I prefer not to mess with someone a few fēn short of a yuán."
"She was in the cargo bay just before we started loading," David said. "I saw Simon tell her to go hide, so I figured she did."
"I've been here reading so she didn't come past me to go to her room," Book mentioned, gesturing to his bible.
Mal took a swig out of his bottle then let out a long exhalation. "Really don't want to be playing hide and seek about now." He got up, giving Don a nudge. "Come with me to see the ladies."
"You need backup to go see companions?" Don asked, laughing as he got up.
"Inara'll be all nice to me if you come," Mal explained on their way out. "She never insults me in front of company! Well, almost never..."
"Lucky you," Don huffed, bemused.
They made their way over to Inara's shuttle and found the entry open already. Mal ducked into the entry, but not past the curtain closing off her chamber.
"Inara?"
"I don't recall giving you permission to enter my shuttle, Captain," Inara's voice floated out from inside.
Don called out from just outside the shuttle door. "Requesting permission to come aboard."
"Don!" Amita this time, sounding pleased.
"Don, you may enter."
Don smirked as he walked past Mal who followed Don in anyway.
"Greetings, my fair ladies," Don said with a formal bow.
Amita sat on a low ottoman while Inara sat behind her brushing her dark locks with long slow strokes of her ornate hairbrush.
Both Don and Mal's eyes were drawn to the graceful rhythmic motion and to the serenely blissful expression of peace and pleasure on Amita's face.
"What might I do for you, Captain?" Inara asked.
"Well..." Mal started.
"I meant Don," Inara said, forcing a smile at Mal before turning to Don with a genuine one. "I am looking forward to seeing you later this evening."
"Wouldn't miss it," Don told her with another smaller bow.
"W-what?" Mal sputtered, clearly flustered, looking back and forth between Inara and Don in shock.
"Amita told me Don is quite the weiqi player so I invited him to a game in my quarters. It's been a while since I had a formidable opponent to test my skills on."
"I think you'll find Don's quite the strategist," Amita purred.
"I look forward to the challenge," Inara said, bowing her head to Don. "So what brings you here now?"
"I appear to be short one Larry and Mal's missing a River."
"I shudder to think of those two minds meeting," Mal said, looking worried. "I really hope we don't find them in the same place."
"Did you try the other shuttle?" Amita asked. "I find the small spaces too confining," she paused, turning back to Inara, "my apologies."
"Not at all," Inara said sweetly. "If leaving the door open makes you more comfortable I'm happy to do that for you."
"Thank you." Amita turned back to Don and Mal. "Larry, on the other hand, says he finds limited spaces test the confines of his mind and help him to expand them. I'm not certain how that works, but he finds it enlightening."
"We'll check there next." Don backed away with a final bow. "Until later."
"I'm looking forward to it." Inara sent him off with a smile then went back to grooming Amita, running her fingers through her now glossy curls.
Once they got outside Mal blinked himself back to reality.
"Now there's a visual I won't soon forget." He gave Don a smack on the arm that wasn't entirely for show. "And don't you be getting friendly with my companion! You got your own for your ship, don't be poaching on mine."
"It's just a game!" Don protested, eyes crinkling up at Mal's obvious jealousy.
"Let it not turn into fun and games, my friend," Mal warned. "Come on. We've got a couple of loony geniuses to eject from my spare shuttle."
They crossed the cargo bay to the other side on the catwalk and Mal pressed the controls to open the shuttle.
Larry sat crosslegged in the middle of the shuttle floor.
River, on the other hand, had wedged herself into an upper corner of the bulkhead, giving her the appearance of a massive fly on the wall.
Mal just looked from one to the other.
"I don't want to ask what you two were talking about."
"Actually, we were discussing Lyman alpha regions as tracers of dark matter," Larry explained, clearly oblivious to Mal's lack of desire for an explanation.
"We started with anti-neutrinos in beta decay, but that only lasted 12 minutes." She laughed, a wild and not altogether sane sound while Larry just smiled, amused.
"I think Mal would prefer not to have his spare shuttle be astrophysics central," Don said, gesturing to Larry to exit the craft. "I think talk about violent and destructive particles makes him uncomfortable."
"And the decay!" Mal piped up. "That's no good either! Don't want no decay on my boat!"
Larry gave both Mal and Don a zen head nod on his way past them. "Gentlemen. I think I shall go in search of my own personal nebula and reestablish my orbit."
"Megan's in the dining room with Zoe," Don told him.
"Ah... Thank you." He turned back to River who was still lodged up in the corner. "We shall continue this discussion, I hope. Debating gravitational forces is something I greatly look forward to on this journey."
River just flashed him a toothy grin of delight then jumped down abruptly.
"There's cake," she said simply. "But only I know where."
She flounced out past Mal and Don and glanced back to get Larry to follow, which he did, obediently, just as Serenity's engines rumbled - the ship preparing to lift off.
Don and Mal stared after them, Don shaking his head at the spectacle.
"I never know if he's going to invent something mind blowing or blow us up," he mused. "But at least the count's done. We found them all."
Wash's voice came over the intercom. "All systems go. We're ready for takeoff."
Mal just had an annoyed and confused look on his face.
"There's cake?"
=
Crossposted to firefly_plus and n3crossovers
Title: Across the Universe
Pairing/Characters: Mal, Don, Wash/Zoe, Larry/Megan, Billy/Kaylee, Jayne, Simon, River, Book, Charlie, Colby, David, Ian
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Pilot, Sniper Zero, Man Hunt, Judgment Call (Numb3rs), Pilot (Firefly)
Summary: Mal does a crew count before takeoff with fellow browncoat Don (AU)
Notes/Warnings: Read the disclaimer on my LJ
"That's the last of it."
Mal finished checking the cargo list, scanned the cargo bay and checked the outside one last time before smacking his hand against the button to raise the ramp.
"Captain! Refueling is complete and we have clearance to take off."
Wash's voice came out of the intercom so Mal picked up the handset to answer.
"Then let's get this boat in the air," he replied.
"It's hard not to respond when I hear someone say captain." Mal looked to where Don was ruminating amidst the cases of his and his crew's possessions. "Technically I'm not a captain anymore now that I've sold my ship."
"Technically we're not browncoats anymore either," Mal reminded him with a friendly clap on the back. "But we'll always think of each other that way."
"Yeah," Don agreed with a sentimental smile.
"And you'll have your new ship in six days, maybe less if Wash and Kaylee can coax a little more speed out of Serenity."
Don waved a hand dismissively. "Take your time. In fact I'd prefer it if it took the full six days. My crew's worked hard. They need a break."
"In that case, why not let them go on a real vacation?" Mal asked as they walked up the stairs out of the cargo bay together. "You could have hired a much faster - and I'll admit much more luxurious - ship to take you across the verse from where you sold your boat to where you're buying your new one. Not that I'm not grateful for the work, mind you, but we're a cargo ship, not a pleasure vessel - companions Inara and Amita not withstanding," he added hastily.
Don let out a long exhalation. "I could take them to Pelorum and they'd have a good time for a day or so, but then they'd get bored and antsy... No, what they really need is to let their guard down. We spend so much time on Alliance planets, working with Alliance police..."
"A necessary evil, you being kidnap recovery specialists and all," Mal interjected.
"Exactly." Don shook his head, his expression filled with sadness and dismay. "I can't tell you how many families hire us because they believe former rebels are the ones behind the kidnapping of their loved ones. They think we have an in, that we speak their language or something, that since we fought together they'll trust us over the Alliance police. Truth is it's just greedy people, vindictive people who kidnap. Not rebels." He hung his head for a moment. "We lost that war. We can't win it back by taking on rich and powerful Alliance families one by one."
"I hear that." Mal nodded in solidarity.
Don straightened up and looked at Mal. "My crew can never relax in Alliance territory or on Alliance ships. That's why I hired you. We know you, we trust your crew to handle things, so the whole week my people can spend doing whatever they want without having to look over their shoulder for a change."
"Can't think of a better gift a captain can give his crew," Mal said solemnly. "You're a good man, Don."
"Thanks." They walked up the stairs heading for the bridge. "So do you do a crew count before take off?" he asked.
"Not as I'd tell the crew, but sure enough I do every time. Almost leaving Jayne behind twice showed me I had to, though sometimes I ain't so sure leaving him behind would've been such a bad idea."
Don chortled as they walked onto the bridge.
"Wash! I said get this boat in the air! Why're we still in dock?"
Wash looked up guiltily from the floor where he sat under the helm with Charlie, both of their hands in a mass of wires.
"Sorry, Mal. Charlie and I thought we'd have time to finish this one quick mod before we got underway."
"It's all installed," Charlie promised, twisting wires as he spoke. "I just thought we should check to make sure the wiring won't overload as a result of the increased amperage."
"Ah, a critical distinction," Mal pretended to muse, before adding with some force, "completely lost on a captain who just wants his ship to fly!" Mal shot a brief glare at Wash, who looked suitably chastened, before turning his attention back to Charlie. "This is how it's going to be, my fine genius friend," Mal said, crouching down to Charlie's level. "This is my boat and you do not attempt any modifications - regardless of how good your intentions are - without my advance permission. Not Wash's, mine. Now if this boat ain't in the air in fifteen minutes I'm charging your brother here double for your passage. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes," Charlie said a bit sullenly.
"I believe that should be 'Yes, Captain'?" Mal mocked.
"Don!" Charlie looked up at his brother who shrugged, barely able to suppress a grin.
"Not my boat, buddy. He's the captain, not me."
"Fine," Charlie grumbled. "I accept your terms."
Mal put a hand behind his ear. "What was that you said?"
"Best just to humor him," Wash said under his breath.
"Yes, Captain," Charlie said sarcastically.
"Excellent!" Mal said brightly. He turned around to leave with Don in tow. "Then I'll be expecting us to be leaving on time. Clock's ticking..." Once he and Don got out of earshot, they both laughed.
"Think he'll actually obey that order?" Don asked.
"Probably not," Mal said, shaking his head. "But at least he'll think first before he opens up a panel on his own. Not that he'd leave us stranded in the black, but a man's got a right to know who's mucking about his ship's parts, you know?"
"Absolutely," Don agreed as they headed through the fore passage.
"Give me a second! I'm going to grab a few brews from the mess!" Jayne headed into the dining area leaving Ian waiting near the crew quarters.
"Making friends already?" Mal teased, glancing from Ian to Jayne. "I know it's slim pickings on board, but you couldn't do better than Jayne your first day?"
"He said he's going to introduce me to Vera." Ian accepted a bottle from Jayne as he returned.
"My bunk's down here," Jayne said, opening the hatch to his bunk and heading down the stairs into it.
"Uh, Ian?" Mal said hesitantly. Ian turned around as he waited for his turn at the ladder. "You do know that Vera's a gun, right?"
Ian looked at him, totally unfazed. "Yeah, so?" He popped the top on the bottle, took a swig and headed down after Jayne with a grin on his face.
"I give him twenty minutes before he goes and drags his sniper rifle out of the cargo hold," Don bemoaned. "I made him pack it away for a reason!"
"Boys will be boys," Mal said with a smirk. "Always got to be comparing the size of their guns. But hey! A drink doesn't sound like a bad plan. Crew counting's thirsty work! You with me?"
"Sure," Don said, loosening up. "After all it's my vacation too, right?"
Mal escorted him into the dining area where Megan and Zoe were engaged in a head down discussion across the table from each other.
"A tactical retreat is a viable alternative most of the time," Zoe was stating, in all seriousness, as Megan leaned forward, taking in every word. "But marrying it with the Crazy Ivan maneuver..."
"Yes, but that only works with reversible thrusters," Megan interjected. "Our new ship doesn't have them. We had to sacrifice them for greater speed and larger fuel storage to eliminate the need to stop for gas when time's critical on a kidnapping case."
"Ladies..." Mal stepped into the room, beaming. "How are our first mates getting along?"
"You've got yourself a first rate second in command," Zoe told Don, who nodded in acknowledgment and appreciation. "I can't believe Megan's not off running her own crew," she added slyly.
"Don't think that's not part of our expansion plans," Don pointed out, squeezing Megan's shoulder affectionately as he followed Mal towards the kitchen.
"You guys doing a crew count?" Megan asked, leaning back in her chair, arm slung over the back in a relaxed fashion.
"A crew count? Now why would you think I can't trust my crew to..." Mal stopped himself. "No, I can't even act surprised." He handed Don a bottle and took one for himself as well. "Just don't tell Jayne. He gets ornery when he thinks I'm keeping tabs on him."
"Got it," Megan said, gesturing as if making a note of it. "Note to self: Jayne bites."
"Not to worry," Mal joshed. "He's had all his shots. I made sure of it." He beckoned and Don followed him into the aft passage, heading for the engine room. After a few steps he held a finger to his mouth to quiet Don then snuck back towards the entrance to the dining room to eavesdrop on Megan and Zoe.
"Seriously, I don't get the Larry thing."
"Well, I bet a lot of people don't get you and Wash."
"True. He may come off as a total nāozhǒng, but he's a Viking in the sack."
"I know Larry's a total shūdāizi, but he's brilliant - so brilliant I can't even figure out most of what he says, but he makes me want to get it! And he's unpredictable. I definitely like unpredictable."
They tiptoed away, both grinning. "I knew they couldn't really be talking tactical before we came in," Mal said, mocking shock. "The Crazy Ivan was a dead giveaway."
"Hey, that Crazy Ivan maneuver saved our bacon once so I'm going to miss being able to pull it," Don said, his tone filled with nostalgia. "I'm going to miss The Craftsman. She was a good ship."
"Got a name for your new boat yet?" Mal asked as they crossed the passage to the engine room and headed inside.
"Hate to say it, but I'm thinking of The Craftsman 2." Don gave him a wry smile. "Call me unoriginal."
Mal cleared his throat rather loudly and there was an answering noise behind the engine - the clang of a dropped tool followed by the rustle of clothing. "Kaylee!" he bellowed.
"Yes, Cap'n!" Kaylee appeared from behind the engine, hair mussed, still straightening her shirt as Billy appeared behind her, unable to keep the smug smirk from his face.
"Now see here, young lady. You can have all the R and R you want once we're on our way, but until Wash gets this boat in the air and out of orbit I need you working on keeping Serenity flying, not coming up for air with Coop here."
"Yes, Cap'n!" Kaylee was as bright and smiley as always, looking ever obedient save the hand behind her back slapping Billy's hands away surreptitiously. "No problem!"
"Until we're in the air, Coop," Don repeated, eyes on Billy. "And out of orbit."
"Yes, sir!" Billy responded with a smarmy salute, making Don just chuckle.
Mal and Don turned to leave and Kaylee was giggling again within seconds.
"We might need a seventh day for this trip," Mal deadpanned.
"That I wouldn't mind," Don said with a chortle. "But if you charge me extra for waylaying your engineer from her duties it's coming out of Coop's pay."
"She strands us in the black 'cause of him, it's coming out of his hide!" Mal retorted.
They turned to take the stairs down to the Med Bay, coming out in time to see Simon midway through wrapping bandages around Colby's bare ribcage as he sat shirtless on the exam table.
"How's our patient doing?" Don asked, clapping Colby on the shoulder.
"The Alliance doctors did an excellent job repairing the broken ribs, but whoever wrapped his bandages made them too loose to provide the required support for healing."
"In short," Colby interjected. "Simon was sure he could do it better."
Simon's arms went around Colby's waist as he wound the bandages around slowly and carefully, the action keeping them in very close proximity, which Colby didn't seem to mind in the least.
"As long as you avoid strenuous activity and keep up with your bandages - they'll help keep you from overdoing it - you should be back working in a couple more weeks."
"I trust you to take good care of him, Doctor," Don said, nodding his appreciation before turning his attention to Colby. "No strenuous activity," he repeated. "That means you get whoever else you're with to do the hard work for you, understand?"
Don could barely suppress a grin and Mal gave him a little wink, which Simon - fully engrossed in Colby's torso - missed entirely.
"Yes, Sir," Colby responded, a knowing grin on his own face. "I'm sure I can find someone on the ship to give me a hand if I need one."
"Good man!" Mal said brightly. "Just don't be leaving my boat with more bumps and bruises than you came with, you hear?"
Mal led the way out to the common room where they found David and Book lounging around, enjoying a relaxed conversation.
"Trust me on this," Book was stressing as they approached.
"Shepherd!" Mal took in the two of them with an amused expression. "You enlightening this poor heathen into the ways of the good book?"
"More like a good meal!" David responded. "The good shepherd knows quite a few good restaurants on Alliance planets!"
"And how does a simple man of the cloth know so much about fancy dinners?" Don asked, perching on the edge of a chair as he took a drink from the bottle in his hand.
"I may be a man of the cloth," Book said with a sly expression, "but I'm far from simple. Besides I had to have eaten before I took up my mission and, as David here and I have been discussing, some meals are truly memorable."
"The fresh bao on Sihnon," Don waxed nostalgic.
"Gung bao ji ding on Osiris," David chimed in, a blissful smile on his face.
"Unagi don with sunomono and miso soup on Persephone," Book rhapsodized. "So unassuming yet exquisite."
"Gorram, you're making me hungry!" Mal complained. He glanced around briefly. "Any of you fellows seen little miss fengzi around? I ain't seen her and that's always worrisome. I'd go check her bunk, but I prefer not to mess with someone a few fēn short of a yuán."
"She was in the cargo bay just before we started loading," David said. "I saw Simon tell her to go hide, so I figured she did."
"I've been here reading so she didn't come past me to go to her room," Book mentioned, gesturing to his bible.
Mal took a swig out of his bottle then let out a long exhalation. "Really don't want to be playing hide and seek about now." He got up, giving Don a nudge. "Come with me to see the ladies."
"You need backup to go see companions?" Don asked, laughing as he got up.
"Inara'll be all nice to me if you come," Mal explained on their way out. "She never insults me in front of company! Well, almost never..."
"Lucky you," Don huffed, bemused.
They made their way over to Inara's shuttle and found the entry open already. Mal ducked into the entry, but not past the curtain closing off her chamber.
"Inara?"
"I don't recall giving you permission to enter my shuttle, Captain," Inara's voice floated out from inside.
Don called out from just outside the shuttle door. "Requesting permission to come aboard."
"Don!" Amita this time, sounding pleased.
"Don, you may enter."
Don smirked as he walked past Mal who followed Don in anyway.
"Greetings, my fair ladies," Don said with a formal bow.
Amita sat on a low ottoman while Inara sat behind her brushing her dark locks with long slow strokes of her ornate hairbrush.
Both Don and Mal's eyes were drawn to the graceful rhythmic motion and to the serenely blissful expression of peace and pleasure on Amita's face.
"What might I do for you, Captain?" Inara asked.
"Well..." Mal started.
"I meant Don," Inara said, forcing a smile at Mal before turning to Don with a genuine one. "I am looking forward to seeing you later this evening."
"Wouldn't miss it," Don told her with another smaller bow.
"W-what?" Mal sputtered, clearly flustered, looking back and forth between Inara and Don in shock.
"Amita told me Don is quite the weiqi player so I invited him to a game in my quarters. It's been a while since I had a formidable opponent to test my skills on."
"I think you'll find Don's quite the strategist," Amita purred.
"I look forward to the challenge," Inara said, bowing her head to Don. "So what brings you here now?"
"I appear to be short one Larry and Mal's missing a River."
"I shudder to think of those two minds meeting," Mal said, looking worried. "I really hope we don't find them in the same place."
"Did you try the other shuttle?" Amita asked. "I find the small spaces too confining," she paused, turning back to Inara, "my apologies."
"Not at all," Inara said sweetly. "If leaving the door open makes you more comfortable I'm happy to do that for you."
"Thank you." Amita turned back to Don and Mal. "Larry, on the other hand, says he finds limited spaces test the confines of his mind and help him to expand them. I'm not certain how that works, but he finds it enlightening."
"We'll check there next." Don backed away with a final bow. "Until later."
"I'm looking forward to it." Inara sent him off with a smile then went back to grooming Amita, running her fingers through her now glossy curls.
Once they got outside Mal blinked himself back to reality.
"Now there's a visual I won't soon forget." He gave Don a smack on the arm that wasn't entirely for show. "And don't you be getting friendly with my companion! You got your own for your ship, don't be poaching on mine."
"It's just a game!" Don protested, eyes crinkling up at Mal's obvious jealousy.
"Let it not turn into fun and games, my friend," Mal warned. "Come on. We've got a couple of loony geniuses to eject from my spare shuttle."
They crossed the cargo bay to the other side on the catwalk and Mal pressed the controls to open the shuttle.
Larry sat crosslegged in the middle of the shuttle floor.
River, on the other hand, had wedged herself into an upper corner of the bulkhead, giving her the appearance of a massive fly on the wall.
Mal just looked from one to the other.
"I don't want to ask what you two were talking about."
"Actually, we were discussing Lyman alpha regions as tracers of dark matter," Larry explained, clearly oblivious to Mal's lack of desire for an explanation.
"We started with anti-neutrinos in beta decay, but that only lasted 12 minutes." She laughed, a wild and not altogether sane sound while Larry just smiled, amused.
"I think Mal would prefer not to have his spare shuttle be astrophysics central," Don said, gesturing to Larry to exit the craft. "I think talk about violent and destructive particles makes him uncomfortable."
"And the decay!" Mal piped up. "That's no good either! Don't want no decay on my boat!"
Larry gave both Mal and Don a zen head nod on his way past them. "Gentlemen. I think I shall go in search of my own personal nebula and reestablish my orbit."
"Megan's in the dining room with Zoe," Don told him.
"Ah... Thank you." He turned back to River who was still lodged up in the corner. "We shall continue this discussion, I hope. Debating gravitational forces is something I greatly look forward to on this journey."
River just flashed him a toothy grin of delight then jumped down abruptly.
"There's cake," she said simply. "But only I know where."
She flounced out past Mal and Don and glanced back to get Larry to follow, which he did, obediently, just as Serenity's engines rumbled - the ship preparing to lift off.
Don and Mal stared after them, Don shaking his head at the spectacle.
"I never know if he's going to invent something mind blowing or blow us up," he mused. "But at least the count's done. We found them all."
Wash's voice came over the intercom. "All systems go. We're ready for takeoff."
Mal just had an annoyed and confused look on his face.
"There's cake?"
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