Yeah yeah, I remember this journal thing. I just hate posting about things that aren't important to me, and for some reason the important things are not fun to talk about ( Read more... )

Life is good--I started my training for this volunteer thing today, and I'm really excited about that. In addition, my job training is this weekend, so soon I'll be nice and busy (but not tooooo busy since I get to pick my hours). In short, I'm glad that I'm in PA and happy and shit like that ( Read more... )

Ok, I'm about to attempt posting pictures of my new and improved room. The colors of the walls are a little off, but at least it's better than nothing.


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Today I feel good--it's been a very healing day for me. I didn't do anything really special, just rested and took care of myself. I had fun making a list of things I can do this summer that will help to empower me and hopefully allow me to recover and grow. I've also decided to balance all the negative emotions I've been getting out through art ( Read more... )

i am trying to share more--be it through artwork or just talking--to help recover from the mess of a life i'm living right now. i just feel like there are so many secrets and i want them all to go away...how does that happen? do they disappear in the light or become augmented gossip? i guess i'll know what to disclose when the time comes. for ( Read more... )

I'm so glad that I made it out yesterday to see friends--I hope I didn't bring everyone down too much. Thank you to everyone for being so patient with me ( Read more... )

today i got a whole new set of medicines...how exciting! at least if i can't stop panicking at work, i can earn extra money on the side selling off some of these drugs...any takers?

i've been obsessing all yesterday and this morning since 5 about how to get myself back to work....and i finally have a plan! i'm going to try half a day tomorrow where i'll be teaching with another teacher, so if i panic it will be ok because she can help keep the class under control. then thursday i know i can recover because i have to go in ( Read more... )

well i have an appointment to help with all this panic stuff so that's good...i just need to remember to breathe and count when i'm anxious and think about just getting through each day and keep doing calming, relaxing things and not beat myself up over missing some work or any of the other million things that is getting me worked up.

i'm all panicky and nervous and i don't know if i can teach tomorrow, but if i don't go when will i ever go i should just go and get it over with. i'm really freaked out about so much right now, almost to the point where i'm in the numb stage again. leaving the apartment is stressful, going into stores can cause me to freak out to the point where ( Read more... )