Comments | emeraldimajia: Bitter-Angry, Bitter-Sweet: Reflections on a Nine-Year Journey

emeraldimajia

Bitter-Angry, Bitter-Sweet: Reflections on a Nine-Year Journey

Jul 15, 2013 15:30

I started this blog in spring 2005, just a few months after leaving Zendik. At that time, I still cleaved to the Zendik mission. I wanted, more than anything, to mow down my “DeathKultur” fantasies so I could return to the Farm and commit for life. Instead, with a lot of help from many friends, I stumbled towards understanding Zendik as a mirage, a ( Read more... )

Comments 8

anonymous July 20 2013, 20:11:17 UTC

Veritable wowness, fine thinking and writing!

Fine evolving. Great post.

Thank you.

anonymous August 30 2013, 21:46:44 UTC

Hey Helen, this is Peiro :) ....what a wonderful piece you have written here....really well done! Hope you are well friend!

anonymous September 22 2013, 20:46:28 UTC

Thanks for posting this. I was angry with you for a long time because I don't agree with much of what you have said over the years. Probably won't ever agree. But there is no rule that says we have to agree. Very well written and thought out post.
-Raus

anonymous January 17 2014, 08:03:57 UTC

It's good to see you still up and about.

My six months' experience living with the Zendiks in 1988 left a permanent impact on me. Even after all these years, after giving up trying to decide who was wrong or who was right about what, that experience still haunts me.

Zendik showed up in my dreams frequently for decades. This still occasionally happens. All the people, and the buildings, and the activities, especially indoors. This happens, I believe, to tell me something. As Zendik was trying to tell us something, even though we weren't always all that good at getting it.

The point was to try to attempt to open a door to something, and I do believe Arol and Wulf truly meant to do that. It's just so easy to wander off the path.

Kind regards,

Miep

anonymous January 17 2014, 08:15:29 UTC

I think what was most striking for me about Zendik was that we were all, in our own different ways, so desperate to escape the absurd strictures of the culture, that we were willing to put up with a lot that we weren't comfortable with, if only we could have some kind of guarantee, no matter how fragile, that we could be part of an Other that was, for a change, Us, instead of Them.

That was the attraction for me. Right there.

This site is making me post anonymously but I'm Miep at mieprowan@gmail.com, should anyone want to contact me.

anonymous April 30 2014, 08:51:04 UTC

Wow. I think you did great. Thanks for doing it in public. Thanks for leaving this up.