Recipe for Legion; take one zombie movie, replace zombies with angels, add gay sprinkles. DELICIOUS.
Two Really Good Reasons To Watch
Picspam dedicated to lantern without whom I would never have taken an interest in this movie omg.
WARNING: MOVIE SPOILERS AND SOME WING-REMOVAL GORE WITHIN.
The beginning, in which Paul Bettany is allergic to shirts.
SPOILER WARNING FOR THE BIBLE: The Old Testament God was a bit of an asshole.
Some of the deserted surroundings shots are really rather pretty in an urban decay, cliché sort of way.
Just further establishment of our settings for the main part of the movie here; we're in the middle of nowhere.
Pretty moon.
It's raining men!
Hallelujah!
And our temporary settings are established firmly.
And we meet our friend the archangel Michael who happens to be wearing a collar in this heterosexually heterosexual movie aimed squarely at a male audience, yes. *whistles*
I reserve the right to think this knife is purdy.
Michael has realised he is wearing a top.
This needs to be amended. Swiftly.
HETEROSEXUAL MALE MOVIE.
Drama shot!
Wing-removal ouchies D:
Real, real ouchies D:
Halo shot...
Goodbye halo (and, sadly, collar).
It's not a particularly pretty shot but darned if I don't find this one strangely stunning.
That's a nice coat.
Michael wants to borrow it (betch).
OH NOES MICHAEL IS WEARING A TOP AGAIN.
Phew, that was a close one. HETEROSEXUAL MALE MOVIE.
Michael's arms are, uh...
Distracting...
Are we in for some self-stitching and glorious manpain?
I THINK WE ARE. Also? Guh, those markings.
And, um. Guh in general. I'm sorry, I. Yeah.
Flexible working there and - yeah, my brain still isn't fully functioning.
Bloody-handed sink clutching. I am pretty much gone now.
Alas, unclothed Michael cannot last forever, so it's time to get guns.
Lots of guns.
No, really, lots of guns.
Badass mofo shot #1.
Cannon fodder disillusioned cops having a quiet night in an apparently miserable part of the city...
Like we care, we've paid to see a movie!
Movies mean explosions.
GOSH THAT'S SUBTLE.
I love this guy's "... wtf" face, though.
Badass mofo shot #2.
Bad things are going on as far as the car's radio is concerned but we have no time to listen to that nonsense, there's a man here carrying two heavy-looking bags out of a building that just partially exploded. For once, I agree with the cannon fodder disillusioned cops!
Michael sighs and puts the bags down when the cops command him to do so -
- and in the process pulls the bitchiest bitchface since Sam Winchester.
Disillusioned cop guy goes to cuff him.
I CAN ONLY SEE THIS ENDING WELL.
And so it does.
That does it for the five to ten minutes of the movie; I'll spoil no more and not just because the next part is really rather silly anyway.
Bonus!
Accidental crotch shot taken when capping the gun-grabbing sequence. NOT THAT SORT OF GUN-GRABBING, GOSH.
Angels who are totally making the beast with two backs and four wings.
Screencapping rattling plates is pretty rough but I had to do it for one reason - the sound that heralds Gabriel's imminent arrival to the party. I LOVE THIS SOUND SO MUCH IT IS RIDICULOUS. If you know the story of Jericho, this is pretty much how I figure it would have sounded.
Michael warns everyone "He's coming" because things are about to go down with a serious case of Badass.
The crowd outside have already been silenced by the baby not!Jesus' arrival.
Light bursts through the door as it opens...
And before I go any further with this, allow me to warn you all I will likely be incoherent for 90% of these screencaps courtesy of this hottie.
And also of this hottie's ridiculously beautiful wings. Whoever did the design work on them deserves a medal for finally showing wings in full view that aren't horribly cringeworthy (shadow-wings and lightning-wings, while awesome, are cheats in this case :P).
Really, really, really ridiculously beautiful wings.
Gabriel does not approve of baby not!Jesus.
Gabriel's favourite time is smiting time.
You do not want to be in the path of his weapon. *cough*
Oh, and his wings are bulletproof because archangels can use their wings as armour. Yes.
They double-up as razor-sharp weapons too, hence Dennis Quaid clutching his sliced stomach.
The humans escape outside through the path of silent possessed, which would be pretty awesome and eerie-cool if we hadn't seen it already in Silent Hill. Or, you know, going back just a little, The Birds. Or...
Leaving Michael and Gabriel alone together.
I reiterate; wing-gasm!
Gabriel folds his pretties away -
- and one folds away ahead of the other, which I think is a neat touch -
- leaving him standing all stoic and statuesque while Michael broods broodily for a moment.
"I knew they'd send you, Gabriel. You were always so eager to please him."
"Unlike you - the rebellious son."
Michael knows in his heart he's not being rebellious to be a dick, he's being rebellious because he thinks he knows what God needs (yes, I know, but it makes a fun movie).
"Your wings - they would have helped you now."
"To not feel their burden is a dream."
Gabriel's all "O rly" and Michael's all "Ya rly" and Gabriel has a little bit of a sad but still doesn't really believe Michael's going to go through with this.
"Yours is a fool's sacrifice, Michael. You can help them run but they won't escape. Neither will you, my brother."
"I'm not running anymore."
Okay, Gabriel's facial expressions pretty much start killing me right about now, I'm going to try and stay coherent.
Except Michael's a dirty cheat.
Tender facetouching ;___;.
"It's enough. There's another way."
And and and there's this tiny, tiny little gasp right here and I die.
It's all this pain -
- and longing -
- and more pain -
- and more longing -
- and there are all these tiny little inflections and after Gabriel shrugged Michael's hand off his face I thought, okay, no more facetouching, it must be time to break apart and put on the knuckledusters.
But I am wrong for a moment longer as they HOLD HANDS.
And for a very real moment Gabriel seems to consider going against his orders for this and I am DEAD, I have PASSED ON, I am an EX-FANGIRL.
But no, he has to go with his orders even though they pain him so and OH, MAN.
And Michael gives him this neutral look, it's not quite a please, it's a you know I'm right but I think I know what you're going to do anyway look, and oh. Oh oh oh.
"There is no other way."
And Michael closes his eyes and does this quick little nod and he accepts this despite his sadness at it and STILL DEAD HERE.
And I haven't had a chance to see a better lit version of this but I'm still trying to work out if Michael kisses their linked hands before Gabriel pushes away. BASICALLY BLARGH I AM DEAD.
And then they fight.
Bonus!
Just a quick screencap from the HETEROSEXUAL MALE FIGHT. Also, they're cousins brothers. Totally brothers. So it would be wrong. MMHM.
THUS CONCLUDES WHY I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND WHY IT IS WORTH A WATCH.
Given I don't do any fancy colouring or anything that makes me feel possessive of my caps, you're more than welcome to nick the caps for your own nefarious (or otherwise) purposes.
Picspam dedicated to lantern without whom I would never have taken an interest in this movie omg.
WARNING: MOVIE SPOILERS AND SOME WING-REMOVAL GORE WITHIN.
The beginning, in which Paul Bettany is allergic to shirts.
SPOILER WARNING FOR THE BIBLE: The Old Testament God was a bit of an asshole.
Some of the deserted surroundings shots are really rather pretty in an urban decay, cliché sort of way.
Just further establishment of our settings for the main part of the movie here; we're in the middle of nowhere.
Pretty moon.
It's raining men!
Hallelujah!
And our temporary settings are established firmly.
And we meet our friend the archangel Michael who happens to be wearing a collar in this heterosexually heterosexual movie aimed squarely at a male audience, yes. *whistles*
I reserve the right to think this knife is purdy.
Michael has realised he is wearing a top.
This needs to be amended. Swiftly.
HETEROSEXUAL MALE MOVIE.
Drama shot!
Wing-removal ouchies D:
Real, real ouchies D:
Halo shot...
Goodbye halo (and, sadly, collar).
It's not a particularly pretty shot but darned if I don't find this one strangely stunning.
That's a nice coat.
Michael wants to borrow it (betch).
OH NOES MICHAEL IS WEARING A TOP AGAIN.
Phew, that was a close one. HETEROSEXUAL MALE MOVIE.
Michael's arms are, uh...
Distracting...
Are we in for some self-stitching and glorious manpain?
I THINK WE ARE. Also? Guh, those markings.
And, um. Guh in general. I'm sorry, I. Yeah.
Flexible working there and - yeah, my brain still isn't fully functioning.
Bloody-handed sink clutching. I am pretty much gone now.
Alas, unclothed Michael cannot last forever, so it's time to get guns.
Lots of guns.
No, really, lots of guns.
Badass mofo shot #1.
Cannon fodder disillusioned cops having a quiet night in an apparently miserable part of the city...
Like we care, we've paid to see a movie!
Movies mean explosions.
GOSH THAT'S SUBTLE.
I love this guy's "... wtf" face, though.
Badass mofo shot #2.
Bad things are going on as far as the car's radio is concerned but we have no time to listen to that nonsense, there's a man here carrying two heavy-looking bags out of a building that just partially exploded. For once, I agree with the cannon fodder disillusioned cops!
Michael sighs and puts the bags down when the cops command him to do so -
- and in the process pulls the bitchiest bitchface since Sam Winchester.
Disillusioned cop guy goes to cuff him.
I CAN ONLY SEE THIS ENDING WELL.
And so it does.
That does it for the five to ten minutes of the movie; I'll spoil no more and not just because the next part is really rather silly anyway.
Bonus!
Accidental crotch shot taken when capping the gun-grabbing sequence. NOT THAT SORT OF GUN-GRABBING, GOSH.
Angels who are totally making the beast with two backs and four wings.
Screencapping rattling plates is pretty rough but I had to do it for one reason - the sound that heralds Gabriel's imminent arrival to the party. I LOVE THIS SOUND SO MUCH IT IS RIDICULOUS. If you know the story of Jericho, this is pretty much how I figure it would have sounded.
Michael warns everyone "He's coming" because things are about to go down with a serious case of Badass.
The crowd outside have already been silenced by the baby not!Jesus' arrival.
Light bursts through the door as it opens...
And before I go any further with this, allow me to warn you all I will likely be incoherent for 90% of these screencaps courtesy of this hottie.
And also of this hottie's ridiculously beautiful wings. Whoever did the design work on them deserves a medal for finally showing wings in full view that aren't horribly cringeworthy (shadow-wings and lightning-wings, while awesome, are cheats in this case :P).
Really, really, really ridiculously beautiful wings.
Gabriel does not approve of baby not!Jesus.
Gabriel's favourite time is smiting time.
You do not want to be in the path of his weapon. *cough*
Oh, and his wings are bulletproof because archangels can use their wings as armour. Yes.
They double-up as razor-sharp weapons too, hence Dennis Quaid clutching his sliced stomach.
The humans escape outside through the path of silent possessed, which would be pretty awesome and eerie-cool if we hadn't seen it already in Silent Hill. Or, you know, going back just a little, The Birds. Or...
Leaving Michael and Gabriel alone together.
I reiterate; wing-gasm!
Gabriel folds his pretties away -
- and one folds away ahead of the other, which I think is a neat touch -
- leaving him standing all stoic and statuesque while Michael broods broodily for a moment.
"I knew they'd send you, Gabriel. You were always so eager to please him."
"Unlike you - the rebellious son."
Michael knows in his heart he's not being rebellious to be a dick, he's being rebellious because he thinks he knows what God needs (yes, I know, but it makes a fun movie).
"Your wings - they would have helped you now."
"To not feel their burden is a dream."
Gabriel's all "O rly" and Michael's all "Ya rly" and Gabriel has a little bit of a sad but still doesn't really believe Michael's going to go through with this.
"Yours is a fool's sacrifice, Michael. You can help them run but they won't escape. Neither will you, my brother."
"I'm not running anymore."
Okay, Gabriel's facial expressions pretty much start killing me right about now, I'm going to try and stay coherent.
Except Michael's a dirty cheat.
Tender facetouching ;___;.
"It's enough. There's another way."
And and and there's this tiny, tiny little gasp right here and I die.
It's all this pain -
- and longing -
- and more pain -
- and more longing -
- and there are all these tiny little inflections and after Gabriel shrugged Michael's hand off his face I thought, okay, no more facetouching, it must be time to break apart and put on the knuckledusters.
But I am wrong for a moment longer as they HOLD HANDS.
And for a very real moment Gabriel seems to consider going against his orders for this and I am DEAD, I have PASSED ON, I am an EX-FANGIRL.
But no, he has to go with his orders even though they pain him so and OH, MAN.
And Michael gives him this neutral look, it's not quite a please, it's a you know I'm right but I think I know what you're going to do anyway look, and oh. Oh oh oh.
"There is no other way."
And Michael closes his eyes and does this quick little nod and he accepts this despite his sadness at it and STILL DEAD HERE.
And I haven't had a chance to see a better lit version of this but I'm still trying to work out if Michael kisses their linked hands before Gabriel pushes away. BASICALLY BLARGH I AM DEAD.
And then they fight.
Bonus!
Just a quick screencap from the HETEROSEXUAL MALE FIGHT. Also, they're cousins brothers. Totally brothers. So it would be wrong. MMHM.
THUS CONCLUDES WHY I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND WHY IT IS WORTH A WATCH.
Given I don't do any fancy colouring or anything that makes me feel possessive of my caps, you're more than welcome to nick the caps for your own nefarious (or otherwise) purposes.