Shuttlecock, Gundam Wing, for stagesoflove
Title: Shuttlecock
Author: Ellie Biel
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Characters/pairing: Relena Peacecraft, Duo Maxwell, Duo/Heero
Warnings: AU, innuendo
Rating: PG13
Notes: Written for stagesoflove Five Colors: Black
"Black isn't a color, it's the absence of color."
"Ah," Duo pointed out, "but if you've got a bunch of paints, and you mix them all together, what do you get?"
"Brown."
"You do? I thought it was black."
"You need black in the first place, Duo."
"Ah, then black must be a color if they make a paint of that particular pigment."
"Alliteration doesn't become you."
"Pseudo-intellectual-bullshit doesn't become you, Relena. You should really stop hanging around with all those college friends of yours."
She smacked him lightly. "And you should stop being a wise ass. Honestly, Duo, saying black is your favorite color is like saying you're a nonconformist free thinker who shops at Hot Topic."
Duo pulled on his T-shirt to show off the cartoon character on the front. "Where do you think I got this?"
Relena rolled her eyes and reached over the table to snag a French fry from his plate.
"Just don't double dip that."
She bit into it and then dunked it into the paper cup of tartar sauce on his plate.
"Relena, do your college friends know you can be a real bitch when you want to?"
"My college friends don't drag me out with them when they're hoping to pick up guys."
"Relena, if you think that, you're more gullible than I thought."
She sneaked the pickle off his plate next and bit into it thoughtfully. "You don't seriously expect me to go to a gay bar with you."
"Why not? You'd be perfectly safe. None of the guys will hit on you, and the girls will compliment your hair and your ass."
"Sounds great," she said with a shake of her head. "Don't you think that maybe bars aren't exactly the best place to meet someone?"
"I'm not looking to get married, Relena, I'm just looking to get laid."
"And I'd be happy to help you with that myself, but you've already told me I'm not your type."
"That and your brother would kill me."
"He's not the boss of me," she said with a grin. She slapped his hand as he reached over for one of her mozzarella sticks. "Hands off, you mooch."
Duo put a hand to his heart. "Relena, you wound me."
She ignored his theatrics. "Why don't you try to find someone that has something in common with you? Go to the gym or an internet chat room, take up bird watching or something."
"Right now finding a guy who's into guys is having enough in common for me. Come on, Relena. Every girl wants to go to a gay bar once in her life so she can talk about it to her friends and brag about how many times she got hit on and complain about how much prettier her gay friend's hair is than hers."
"What's in it for me?"
"I knew it! You want to go with me."
"I still don't think this is a good idea."
"You think that now, but just wait, I promise you that-"
A shuttlecock whizzed by his face and landed in the potato salad that had come with his sandwich, and seconds later a pair of bare, muscular legs entered Duo's line of sight. He raised his eyes to find himself looking at the most attractive man he'd ever seen.
"I'm sorry," the stranger said. "I didn't mean to hit it so hard."
Duo's eyes didn't leave the stranger's and he reached for the shuttlecock, groping at it blindly and handing it over. He had mayonnaise on his fingers, but he was more taken with the bits of green pepper and celery sticking to the rubber end of the birdie.
He was actually envious when the stranger put the end of the birdie into his mouth and sucked off the potato salad.
"I am sorry," he apologized again. His eyes were glued to Duo's.
"No problem at all," Relena said, far too cheerfully. "No harm done."
"I've ruined your lunch," the Adonis said. "I insist on making it up to you." He tucked his badminton racquet under his arm and held out his hand. "My name's Heero."
Duo accepted it and shook it firmly. "Duo."
Heero seemed to realize they weren't alone and he glanced down at Relena, giving her a nod of his head. "I'm usually here on Saturday afternoons. Next time you're here, I'll buy you both lunch."
"Oh, that's not necess- OW! Duo!"
"What my sister means to say is we look forward to it."
Heero raised an eyebrow and saluted them with the shuttlecock. "Same here. Duo," he acknowledged with a tilt of his head. "Duo's sister."
He jogged away, and Duo took a moment to admire the view from this side.
Relena picked up another French fry and waved it in front of Duo.
"So, Duo, we still on for tonight?"
Duo didn't turn to look at her until Heero had returned to the badminton net and volleyed his birdie over to the other side.
"What? Oh, we're still on, but I think a change of venue is in order."
"Oh really." She knew exactly what was on Duo's mind, but it was more fun to get him to tell her. "Where exactly do you need me to drive you?"
Duo's eyes were back on Heero again. "Sports Authority. I need to pick up a racquet and a couple of shuttle. Cocks."
"Remind me what's in it for me."
"Free lunch, a week from today."
"You don't mind my tagging along?"
"Trust me. You're no competition when it comes to Heero."
"Has your gaydar ever been wrong before?"
"Relena, no straight man sucks shuttlecock like that."
Relena turned to watch Heero, and she had to admit Duo was right, because every now and then Heero would glance toward them just before the birdie came back over the net, backhanding it absently. She could see why Duo appreciated the entire package. Heero's shorts were shiny black, skintight, and left little to the imagination. They were more appropriate for bicycling than badminton but she was sure Duo didn't care.
She'd take Duo to Sports Authority, just like he wanted. The only question was whether she wanted him to keep it to himself when he finally got what he wanted from Heero, or if she wanted him to spill all his dirty secrets.
After all, every girl with a gay best friend earned at least that much.