CROSSOVER!FIC: Star Trek/Big Bang Theory -- "The Veritable Lightning Storm Corollary" (PG)
Title: The Veritable Lightning Storm Corollary
Author:
Ello_Kitty
Crossover: Star Trek (2009) / The Big Bang Theory
Pairing: No real pairing, all though it could be seen as Pre-Spock/Sheldon
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,546 words
Summary: Written for this prompt at st_xi_kink
A Big Bang Theory crossover in which Spock accidentally gets beamed to Earth, Sheldon thinks someone’s robbing the place, and Leonard really, really wants to be dreaming.
Disclaimer: Nobody’s mine. I just write about them.
A/N #1: I absolutely *adore* “The Big Bang Theory” -- I’ve been in love with Sheldon from the very first episode. Also, I’ve recently fallen in love with Star Trek. So, when I saw the prompt at the kink meme, this little piece sprang fully-formed into my brain -- srsly, I wasn’t even finished reading the prompt. Even though this didn’t turn out to be quite as epic as I’d hoped, it still makes me smile. I hope it makes you smile too.
A/N #2: Not beta’d, I haven’t written a story in, oh, about 2 years. So, this thing kinda switches POV a little bit and I wanted to put a lot more *stuff* in there, but I couldn’t quite make it all work. Bare with me.
There was a loud *BANG* and Sheldon shot straight up in bed with a gasp.
They were being robbed, he knew it. It was only a matter of time. In hindsight, he should have seen it coming. Dear GOD his computer was out there! No doubt they’d be after his
work. Surely it was the most valuable thing in the living room.
Trying his best not to be a coward, Sheldon snatched up his light saber, flipped it on,
and crept slowly out his bedroom doorway.
“LEONARD *taptap* LEONARD *taptap* LEONARD *taptap*--”
Leonard flung his door open in exasperation.
“Sheldon, it’s two in the morning!”
“LOWER YOUR VOICE!” Sheldon hissed, manically looking over his shoulder,
his toy Jedi weapon at the ready.
“What, is Palpatine after you again? Look, you and I both know he died in Episode 6.
We’re not having this discussion again -- you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m going back to bed.”
“I can assure you my specious nightmares have nothing to do with my current state!”
he whispered hurriedly. “Someone’s broken into the apartment, I heard noises!”
Leonard scoffed. “God, Sheldon. It’s probably just Mrs. Vartabedian’s dog again.”
“How could you possibly know that? You obviously didn’t hear what I heard. The noises
are coming from INSIDE the apartment!”
Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Fine, we’ll go see what it is.”
Sheldon looked incredulous. “Wait, shouldn’t we contact the authorities?”
“I’m not calling the cops out here until we know what --”
Leonard was cut off as another loud *BANG* sounded along with a series of crackles and
brilliant flickers of light bounced into the hallway. Sheldon practically leapt into Leonard’s arms
as Leonard braced himself against the doorframe, startled.
“Okay, something’s definitely going on.”
“Oh yes, NOW you understand!” He huffed in seething whispers. “Are you SURE you’re ready
to believe me or is there still a fleeting chance that Mrs. Vartabedian’s dog is concocting
a veritable lighting storm in our apartment?”
“Oh shut up!” Leonard peered down the hallway. “C’mon. We need to find out what’s happening.”
Sheldon gripped his light saber tight, his face determined. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Leonard took a step forward and had a thought. “WAIT!” he ran into his room briefly
and came back out with their paint ball helmets. “Put this on.”
“Right, good idea.”
The pair slowly crept down the hallway toward the source of the commotion.
Carefully, they peered around the doorway. They watched, their mouths agape,
as thin, swirling bands of light shimmered in the darkness of their living room.
All at once, the lights dissipated and, like a flash bulb, left fleeting blots of color
in their eyes. As they blinked to readjust, they could see the distinct silhouette of a person.
A person? What the hell was going on??
Desperate for an explanation, Leonard put his hand to the wall and flipped the light switch.
There, standing by their couch, in the middle of their living room, was a man dressed
as Spock. He had the whole outfit: the royal blue science shirt, regulation Starfleet trousers,
boots, the neat black wig, and wow, really lifelike Vulcan ear-tip attachments.
Weird, Leonard thought, Sheldon had all of that stuff in his -- oh *no*.
Still adjusting his eyes to the light, Leonard lifted the visor of his helmet. He looked at Sheldon,
who had completely removed his helmet in haste, and took in the mix of shock, horror and
confusion that seemed permanently stuck on his face. Leonard was instantly fuming --
he got woken up for this?!?
“Dammit Howard!! Just because Sheldon beat you at Secret Agent Laser Obstacle Chess
doesn’t mean you have the right to break in here and mess with his stuff --”
But just as Leonard took a step forward, Sheldon was clutching at his arm and wheezing
like he couldn’t even breathe. And that’s when Leonard noticed: this man in their living room
was very tall -- much taller than Howard. The man turned and he had a phaser at his hip,
a really realistic phaser -- even more so than the one they built themselves. And then
they saw his face and Leonard felt Sheldon’s knees wobble beside him.
This man looked so much like the real Spock it wasn’t even funny. Not one little bit.
Okay, maybe it was a little funny, but at the moment, Leonard and Sheldon were far
too dumbstruck to start laughing. Seriously, if Leonard wasn’t a man of science he
would have believed that this really *was* Spock.
Ridiculous, he thought to himself. Still, he could sense that Sheldon was having the
exact same thoughts -- he had dropped his light saber and just about draped himself
over the doorframe to keep from falling over.
The impossibly-tall-man-dressed-as-Spock turned carefully (one hand dangerously
close to his phaser), made his posture painfully straight, and promptly addressed them.
“Greetings,” he offered with a slight bend of his head. “I am an officer of the Starship Enterprise.
Tell me, sirs, what is my current location?”
Leonard stared at him. “You’re in our living room,” he deadpanned.
The man turned to him alone, his dark eyes solemn and powerful.
Wow, even the eyebrows are spot on.
“Perhaps I should have been more specific. I would like to know my current location in
the galaxy. Tell me, what planet is this?”
Leonard made a face. “I’m pretty sure it’s still Earth. But then again, I may be dreaming.”
The really-tall-Spock-man looked between him and Sheldon before sharply flipping
out his communicator.
“Spock to Enterprise. Come in Enterprise.”
Leonard and Sheldon looked on as the man stalked throughout the room, repeating
this phrase into his communicator and achieving no reply. Leonard shook himself.
What the hell?! It was two in the morning and he had to get up for work in 3 hours!
He removed his helmet. “Look buddy, I don’t know what’s going on here, but who the
hell are you and why are you in our apartment in the middle of the night?!?”
The Spock-dressed-man focused on Leonard again. “Again, perhaps I did not make
myself clear. I am Spock, an officer of the Starship Enterprise. I mean you no harm.
Though I am not entirely sure at this juncture, I seem to have been beamed to your location
due to a transporter malfunction. I apologize for my disruption and I anticipate that this situation
will be corrected shortly.”
Suddenly, Sheldon was wheezing and gasping like he lost a lung. His face was contorted
and he looked as if he might burst into tears. “Sp-sp…sp” he sputtered and Leonard rolled his eyes.
Sheldon seriously wasn’t buying into this, *was he*???
The-man-who-called-himself-Spock looked curiously at his surroundings.
“This place, it is your home?”
“Yes.”
“Then I suppose it is polite for me to request a short stay. I require a place to wait for
my ship to contact me. Do you find this objectionable?”
Leonard sighed and rubbed at his eyes. Yeah, this had to be a dream. He was tired,
really tired. This was invented by his brain because he ate too many chocolate-covered pretzels
before bed. It had to be. Figures he’d dream about Spock. They’d only went to see the new movie
four times this week. It would have been five if the theater next to Koothrappali's had had
an Icee Machine (1).
“Yes. I mean no. No, it’s not objectionable. Just stay until your ship gets you -- or whatever.”
Really-tall-dream-Spock nodded at him again, his hands folded behind his back --
almost like…like Sheldon.
“Thank you --”
“Leonard.”
“Thank you for your hospitality, Leonard. You will be commended for aiding a Starfleet Officer
in need.” With that, Dream-Spock sat down on their plain, brown leather couch and placed
his hands neatly on his knees.
Leonard continued to stare at him. “Right,” he paused to looked at his room mate.
Sheldon was still sputtering, on his knees now, and his hands were clasped together
as if he were praying. Leonard rolled his eyes again.
He took a deep breath. “Ooo-kay. Well. I’m going back to bed. Or ending this dream. Or something.”
“Pardon me, Leonard,” dream-Spock started, “but your consort seems to require medical attention.”
Leonard looked at Sheldon, who seemed to be attempting to stand and wobble into the
living room on shaky legs. He looked like a new born giraffe having a seizure.
“He’s fine” Leonard replied indifferently and quickly left the room. He wondered what Sheldon
would say when he told him all about this weird, weird dream where Spock accidentally got
beamed into their apartment -- *heh* he'd probably wish it were true.
Right before he sank into bed he heard voices in the living room, distant but clear.
“Sir, are you sure you are well?”
“Spock” he heard Sheldon finally mutter, with a distinct air of awe in his cracking voice.
“You’re sitting in my spot.”
____________________________________
Leonard awoke the next morning tired and irritable. He grabbed his robe and shrugged it on,
almost tripping over his paint ball helmet lying in the middle of the room. Just then, it all came
back to him. What a *weird* dream! Sheldon would get quite a kick out of it, he was sure.
Leonard made him way down the hall and padded into the kitchen. The sounds coming from
the living room were normal, routine. Sheldon was always up before him. He always got up,
used the bathroom, and had a bowl of cereal in his hand before Leonard could even shimmy
out of bed in the morning. Leonard yawned and grabbed the coffee pot to pour himself a cup.
“Sheldon,” he began, his back to the living room, “you’ll never believe this crazy dream I had last night --”
Leonard turned and the sight before him nearly jolted his boiling-hot coffee all over him.
Sheldon was in their living room all right, but he wasn’t alone. There, beside him on their
plain leather couch was Spock, THE SPOCK FROM HIS !DREAM!?, sitting straight as a pin,
contently sipping from a porcelain mug.
Next to him, Sheldon sat just as straight, eating a bowl of his Monday cereal --cornflakes--
with an equally contented expression. He was staring at Spock like he was the center of
the universe. Leonard did a double take -- Spock was sitting in HIS seat, Sheldon’s seat --
the seat that nobody ever sat in but Sheldon, EVER. Sheldon didn’t sit anywhere else in the
house but there. Frankly, Leonard had thought him incapable of it.
Leonard gaped at the two of them sitting side by side on the couch.
Spock set his mug down on the coffee table.
“You continue to amaze me, Mr. Cooper. You’re dialect is impeccable. And you’re knowledge
of the universe is unparallel for someone who never attended Starfleet Academy. Are you quite
sure you’ve never studied on Vulcan?”
Sheldon finished the last bite of his cereal and slid the bowl away.
“Mm, quite sure. I know I would have remembered space travel. Believe me, I’ve studied
the possibilities a number of ways. However much I want to see them, the odds just aren’t there.”
Leonard’s eyes shifted frantically between the two of them. He cleared his throat.
“Good morning Leonard” they said in UNISON. Only Spock looked up at him.
Sheldon just kept staring at Spock in utter and total adoration, unwilling to spare
Leonard the slightest glance.
It was creepy. Too creepy. And yet enlightening, because it seemed that suddenly Leonard
knew where Sheldon really came from. Huh. He always had a feeling that Earth wasn’t
Sheldon’s home planet -- he just never had the research to prove it.
A heavy *THUD* snapped Leonard away from his thoughts. Sheldon dropped a large box
on the floor in front of the couch and reclaimed his seat next to Spock. Leonard still couldn’t
believe his eyes. He tried to convince himself he wasn’t awake yet. He closed his eyes and
opened them again. When his hearing refocused, Sheldon had an arm full of merchandise
and Spock was eyeing it with overwhelming curiosity.
“…And this one,” Sheldon smiled, “is limited edition. Only one hundred ever made.”
Leonard watched as Spock took the action-figure replica (the one that Sheldon swore
he’d never take out of it’s wrapping) of himself in his hands. He studied it intensely with
his sharp, dark eyes. Eyebrow raised, the barest hint of a smile tugged at Spock’s lips
as he rubbed a finger over the toy’s small plastic hand, modeled in the Vulcan salute.
“Fascinating.”
Sheldon grinned so big it nearly split his face in half.
For the first time since Leonard entered the room, Sheldon acknowledged him directly,
wrung his hands, and gave him what could only be described as a
“OMFG-SPOCK-IS-IN-OUR-LIVING-ROOM-SRSLY-DO-YOU-BELIEVE-IT?!?” face.
He fanboy’d silently to Leonard for all of two seconds before he turned his full attention back to Spock.
Leonard glanced down at his coffee mug, took a long sip, and shook his head.
Then he looked back into the living room.
Nope, still there.
He looked at the clock on the coffee pot. Raj and Howard would be there soon.
Leonard looked back over at the couch where Sheldon had practically taken over
Spock’s personal space bubble and was inspecting his communicator,
grinning like a dazed maniac.
He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Sheldon and Spock
were completely un-phased by his presence. Ever incredulous, he laughed, shook
his head and started back to his bedroom.
Leonard clearly seemed to be really awesome at dreaming. Too bad he couldn’t win a Pulitzer for that.
He threw off his robe, got back into bed, and tried to ignore the deep, hushed voices that
now seemed to be coming from Sheldon’s bedroom. He blinked a few times for good measure.
Maybe if he went back to sleep, he’d end up with Penny on the sunny shores of Hawaii.
Yeah, he thought as he faded from consciousness, that sounded like a plan.
~~~~ Epilogue ~~~~
Raj was checking his email when Howard pulled into the driveway and let himself in.
“I can’t believe her!” He waved his arms in the air as he breezed through the door.
“She’s actually threatening to take away my internet because I won’t rub lotion on her bunions!”
Raj grimaced, then laughed. “Man, you reeeally need to get yourself a younger girlfriend.”
“Shut up Raj,” he shook his head, muttering indecencies about his characteristically
stubborn mother. Howard waited for Raj to gather his things and sat down at his computer desk.
“Can I check my Myspace?”
“Why, you really think she’ll forgive you this soon??”
Howard snorted, shoved him away from the desk, and started typing. Raj left the room to
find his coat, only to have his friend call him back within seconds.
“UH, RAJ? YOU NEED TO COME SEE THIS.”
He sighed, jogging back to his computer desk. “I don’t care how big her boobs are, Howard,
we’re going to be late for -- What the HELL?!” The pair stood gaping like fish at the computer screen.
“I know!”
“Is that Sheldon with Spock?!”
Howard seethed, pounding his fist on the table and Raj crossed his arms over his chest.
“MAN! I can’t believe he went to the convention without US!”
______________________________
Footnote:
(1) -- You can see the whole movie-theater debacle in the beginning of "The Big Band Theory" S02E14. HERE.
* For those of you who got all the BBT snips, hints and jokes and went "HAH, I see wat you did thar!" I commend you.
** Let me know what you think ppl, I loves me some feedback :-)