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[elixxir]

Last night was blessedly beastie-shit-free. I came home to a house literally full of drunks. And one adorable baby. Good times.

If you've never read a haiku about your steaming dumps, you probably wouldn't understand.

Ha. Sorry. Just finished a zombie love book called Breathers which was spectacularly charming. Almost as charming as the

Comments

[vapidblonde]

Sounds like the opposite of fun.
Boo!
Anxiety sucks, I have some too but for different stupidity :)

[elixxir]

Boo times two!! Amish anxiety? Money anxiety? Whole new category of anxiety?

[vapidblonde]

Job anxiety and the greater issue how to break it to sam that we're never getting married cause try as I might (and I did, you were there) I can't marry somebody who's cuddly, sucky, high maintenance and when he kissed me it felt like I was sucking face with my brother. ACK times a zillion.

[elixxir]

Oh ewww to the motherfucking ICK!!! No pool anywhere is worth that. Poor Sam...you gonna tell him this weekend?

Job anxiety is evil. Are you having to actively start looking? BOO!

[demonspeed1102]

What do you envision doing with your dick...ya know, if you could ever procure one? What's the first thing you'd like to do with it? I've sometimes wondered what I'd do with lady bits if I could have them for a day...'cause I have serious issues.

Erm...yeah.

Thanks for linking to your legendary, glasses-breaking dump entry. I somehow had missed that on my Friends Page. Now, my sides hurt from the HAHAHAHAHA.

[elixxir]

What's the first thing you'd like to do with it?

Is that a trick question? Jerk off. Duh. Then I would use my not inconsiderable knowledge about women to make them suck it and fuck it in every conceivable way. It would quite possibly become my life's work, hence why The Universe would never give me one. :p

[messyone]

The thought of you with a dick of your own is somewhat frightening... I'm just saying..

[elixxir]

This is because you are wise beyond your years... ;)

[ubiquitousblack]

So when are you going to dawn those new eyeball sex windows?
And you're back to drinking, right?

[elixxir]

10 business days til the seduction begins anew.

And it depends what day you ask me. Yesterday, dry. Today? Undecided. YOU CAN'T BOX ME IN MAN!

[summersnowflake]

I read "Breathers" last summer, I liked it a lot :)

Funny, I had a dream where I had grown a penis (no idea how or why), played with it furiously, but to no avail. Woke up frustrated!

[elixxir]

Ahahahaha!!