...And I am dead.
The comments in this post made me see Ten's attitude to his death (something I know a lot of people have a problem with) in a new light...
The Tenth Doctor: Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away. And I’m dead.
A lot of fans dislike this, since it seems to deny the continuity of the Doctor - the fact that no matter the face, he is the Doctor. But looking at John Smith, something suddenly clicked for me. Ten's most recent experiences of death are very final. John Smith's death was *exactly* what he describes above - he died, and the Doctor sauntered away, wearing his face. And he was dead. Because - despite John Smith being *somewhere* inside the Doctor - he was well and truly dead. The Doctor might long for the simplicity of John Smith's life, but so much of it is wildly at odds with who and what he (the Doctor) is. And, going by the viciousness of his revenge on the Family, the whole situation affected him very, very deeply. A human being died, and that human was him. Is it any wonder that his views on death were adversely affected?
Then there's Donna. His friend Donna who died and some different version sauntered away. And she was dead. (I rewatched Journey's End recently. The relentlessness of Dalek Caan's 'One of them will die' is horribly depressing.)
Ten is generally extremely screwed up, and even more so when it comes to death, something he keeps flirting with... But also, there is another reason for his speech, I think. He continually throws himself in harms way, ready to sacrifice his life - and yet he runs when it might be reality. The reason is the fact that it is out of his hands. I've talked before about Ten's control-issues, and I think the fact that his death is coming, and that there is nothing he can do to stop it, eats away at him. Because Ten also feels quite entitled in a lot of ways. (IMHO) he feels that it is desperately unfair that he has to die - he's lost so much already (Rose, Joan, the Master, Jenny, River etc.) and does he also have to lose himself? (Why can't he control life and death? Ooooh, Timelord Victorious, you were only ever a tiny step away.) Basically, he feels resentful and angry and desperate - hence the speech. (Poor Ten...)
And maybe, in the end, the fact that his death *is* his own choice after all is what sets him free and paves the way for Eleven...
The Tenth Doctor: Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away. And I’m dead.
A lot of fans dislike this, since it seems to deny the continuity of the Doctor - the fact that no matter the face, he is the Doctor. But looking at John Smith, something suddenly clicked for me. Ten's most recent experiences of death are very final. John Smith's death was *exactly* what he describes above - he died, and the Doctor sauntered away, wearing his face. And he was dead. Because - despite John Smith being *somewhere* inside the Doctor - he was well and truly dead. The Doctor might long for the simplicity of John Smith's life, but so much of it is wildly at odds with who and what he (the Doctor) is. And, going by the viciousness of his revenge on the Family, the whole situation affected him very, very deeply. A human being died, and that human was him. Is it any wonder that his views on death were adversely affected?
Then there's Donna. His friend Donna who died and some different version sauntered away. And she was dead. (I rewatched Journey's End recently. The relentlessness of Dalek Caan's 'One of them will die' is horribly depressing.)
Ten is generally extremely screwed up, and even more so when it comes to death, something he keeps flirting with... But also, there is another reason for his speech, I think. He continually throws himself in harms way, ready to sacrifice his life - and yet he runs when it might be reality. The reason is the fact that it is out of his hands. I've talked before about Ten's control-issues, and I think the fact that his death is coming, and that there is nothing he can do to stop it, eats away at him. Because Ten also feels quite entitled in a lot of ways. (IMHO) he feels that it is desperately unfair that he has to die - he's lost so much already (Rose, Joan, the Master, Jenny, River etc.) and does he also have to lose himself? (Why can't he control life and death? Ooooh, Timelord Victorious, you were only ever a tiny step away.) Basically, he feels resentful and angry and desperate - hence the speech. (Poor Ten...)
And maybe, in the end, the fact that his death *is* his own choice after all is what sets him free and paves the way for Eleven...