My Immortal. Chapter 8.
You know what's the best thing to have when everything's really slippery? A pushchair [=stroller]! (With a child in, of course). *had lots of fun taking kids to school*
And after that little bit of silliness her comes the next chapter of My Immortal - I know, it's only been 2 weeks! Try not to faint. ;) Previous parts here, and many smooches to my ( Read more... )
And after that little bit of silliness her comes the next chapter of My Immortal - I know, it's only been 2 weeks! Try not to faint. ;) Previous parts here, and many smooches to my ( Read more... )
Comments 51
I particularly love small details you insert , like After their cinema stunt he’d come back to her apartment ‘to check that the bed was as sturdy as it looked’ or Andrew writing love-poems in Klingon to The Immortal (::LOL::)
One thing struck me as weird, though: Buffy addressing to Jack as "Immortal". It sound a bit... well... off. Is it intentional?
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:)
Nothing partitular happens but it looks that it's calm before storm.
Yes and no. There will be storms, but maybe not like you expect.
Great scene of Buffy and Jack pretending to be a married couple, seen through the eyes of a random character.
I had entirely too much fun with that! Also I wanted to show that not all waiters (or people generally) fall over backwards when they meet Jack.
I particularly love small details you insert
Aw, thanks. Wish I did more to be honest.
One thing struck me as weird, though: Buffy addressing to Jack as "Immortal". It sound a bit... well... off. Is it intentional?Well it *is* odd, but then the name is odd in itself - only he's not going to tell her his real name (not that Jack is his real name, but it's as real as he gets), so he sticks with 'Immortal'. He takes his cue from the Doctor, who of course just goes by 'Doctor'. I know it sounds weird, but there's nothing I can do about it, without either using 'Jack' (which I can't really) or calling him something third which just ( ... )
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But why can't you use "Jack"?
I'm sorry if I sound importunate, but when a girl calls her boyfriend "Immortal" the whole text acquires some strange surrealistic quality. At least in my eyes.
Of course, I'm a foreigner and I can hardly judge stylistic experiments in English. I just feel - viscerally - that it's either a trick you plan to incorporate into the future plot or... I don't know... That's why I'm curious.
Sorry for being a nuisance.
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Because he is insanely careful to keep his identities separate. He is Jack in Torchwood, and The Immortal in Rome - actually 'Captain Jack Harkness' doesn't exist officially (the real one having died in the 2nd World War). Call it paranoia on his part.
I'm sorry if I sound importunate, but when a girl calls her boyfriend "Immortal" the whole text acquires some strange surrealistic quality. At least in my eyes.Well the whole thing *is* surreal I guess. To a great extent she is dating a mirage - she *knows* this, and it is what makes him so attractive, although it is of course also what makes her friends (Giles in particular) suspicious. I guess you could see it as a reminder of the fact that he's not telling the truth about who he is. (Much like the Doctor actually - he jumps into her life, 'sweeping her off her feet' and showing her the best time of her life, without ever giving much away about himself. Although - unlike the Doctor - he lets her know that it's definitely temporary.) Anyway yes, there ( ... )
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You did a wonderful job with building up Buffy's very understandable need to 'run away' for a time (I almost wanted to hit Giles FOR her, even though I could see how he was simply unable to resist the urge to doubt and undermine Buffy's judgment when it comes to relationships, in spite of Xander's sound advice to the contrary -- Giles can't help being a dysfunctional dad at times, but it's hard to see Buffy put through more of that emotional wringer when we know that Jack's the best thing for her right now).
Love how Jack continues to surprise her with his ability to do and say the unexpected in response to each situation -- to do what she actually needs, rather than what everybody else she knows would do or say to her under those circumstances ( ... )
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It just wrote itself. :)
You did a wonderful job with building up Buffy's very understandable need to 'run away' for a time
Oh good! I think (I can't quite remember, I've had everything planned out for *ages*) that the story unfolded the way I wrote it - that is, I first thought of the conversation with Giles, and then wondered what'd happen next.
I almost wanted to hit Giles FOR her, even though I could see how he was simply unable to resist the urge to doubt and undermine Buffy's judgment when it comes to relationships, in spite of Xander's sound advice to the contrary -- Giles can't help being a dysfunctional dad at times, but it's hard to see Buffy put through more of that emotional wringer when we know that Jack's the best thing for her right now
That's exactly the reaction I was hoping for - to be with Buffy emotionally, but to see Giles' POV too.
Love how Jack continues to surprise her with his ability to do and say the unexpected in response to each situation -- to do ( ... )
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I don’t really blame Giles for his reactions towards the news - let's say he didn’t lose his talent to ruin a good time - but I did like the way Buffy reacted : making her own choices in her personal life should be something acceptable for Giles.
Then, she can call and ask anything... and the Immortal sings her tune. ;-) . It’s of course wonderful and happy sighs inspiring.
It shows how well he understands her , understands what she needs and this little break away was pure fun .(The scene with the waiter from his pov was absolutely hilarious).
So Jack as wish’ fulfiller ? Perfect!
As for Buffy it’s nice to see her enjoying herself . Part of me wants her to taste this side of life where she is care free -at least for some times - and anther part of me hopes that she still mourns her glorious champion.
Thank you very much for another very lovely update.:)
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There's been so much set-up to get through, in one way this is sort of the 'proper' beginning of the story, if you know what I mean. :)
“bit like living in a parallel universe” : somehow it’s true, and somehow Buffy knows it .
It's all a fairy tale!
I don’t really blame Giles for his reactions towards the news - let's say he didn’t lose his talent to ruin a good time
I'm very happy that I managed to show how his concerns are perfectly wellfounded from his POV.
but I did like the way Buffy reacted : making her own choices in her personal life should be something acceptable for Giles.
Partly she just snaps - she tried her best to explain things to Willow, but here she just refuses to allow any sort of interrogation.
Then, she can call and ask anything... and the Immortal sings her tune. ;-) . It’s of course wonderful and happy sighs inspiring.
Isn't it just? I love those two together.
It shows how well he understands her , understands what she needs and this little ( ... )
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And I shrieked with laughter when it suddenly switched to them being caught skinny-dipping!
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Yay! I've been *itching* to write that exchange for ages! And of course it is also symbolic of why Buffy is dating him...
And I shrieked with laughter when it suddenly switched to them being caught skinny-dipping!
Squee! Let's just say that this chapter was far, far too much fun to write... ;)
Thank you lots and lots for all your fabulous feedback - it was the most wonderful surprise, and I actually feel just about ready to sit down and tackle the next chapter (once all the Christmas madness is out of the way...). Think I've been a little burned out, this thing is so LONG!
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