My Immortal. Chapter 8.
You know what's the best thing to have when everything's really slippery? A pushchair [=stroller]! (With a child in, of course). *had lots of fun taking kids to school*
And after that little bit of silliness her comes the next chapter of My Immortal - I know, it's only been 2 weeks! Try not to faint. ;) Previous parts here, and many smooches to my ( Read more... )
And after that little bit of silliness her comes the next chapter of My Immortal - I know, it's only been 2 weeks! Try not to faint. ;) Previous parts here, and many smooches to my ( Read more... )
I particularly love small details you insert , like After their cinema stunt he’d come back to her apartment ‘to check that the bed was as sturdy as it looked’ or Andrew writing love-poems in Klingon to The Immortal (::LOL::)
One thing struck me as weird, though: Buffy addressing to Jack as "Immortal". It sound a bit... well... off. Is it intentional?
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:)
Nothing partitular happens but it looks that it's calm before storm.
Yes and no. There will be storms, but maybe not like you expect.
Great scene of Buffy and Jack pretending to be a married couple, seen through the eyes of a random character.
I had entirely too much fun with that! Also I wanted to show that not all waiters (or people generally) fall over backwards when they meet Jack.
I particularly love small details you insert
Aw, thanks. Wish I did more to be honest.
One thing struck me as weird, though: Buffy addressing to Jack as "Immortal". It sound a bit... well... off. Is it intentional?Well it *is* odd, but then the name is odd in itself - only he's not going to tell her his real name (not that Jack is his real name, but it's as real as he gets), so he sticks with 'Immortal'. He takes his cue from the Doctor, who of course just goes by 'Doctor'. I know it sounds weird, but there's nothing I can do about it, without either using 'Jack' (which I can't really) or calling him something third which just ( ... )
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But why can't you use "Jack"?
I'm sorry if I sound importunate, but when a girl calls her boyfriend "Immortal" the whole text acquires some strange surrealistic quality. At least in my eyes.
Of course, I'm a foreigner and I can hardly judge stylistic experiments in English. I just feel - viscerally - that it's either a trick you plan to incorporate into the future plot or... I don't know... That's why I'm curious.
Sorry for being a nuisance.
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Because he is insanely careful to keep his identities separate. He is Jack in Torchwood, and The Immortal in Rome - actually 'Captain Jack Harkness' doesn't exist officially (the real one having died in the 2nd World War). Call it paranoia on his part.
I'm sorry if I sound importunate, but when a girl calls her boyfriend "Immortal" the whole text acquires some strange surrealistic quality. At least in my eyes.Well the whole thing *is* surreal I guess. To a great extent she is dating a mirage - she *knows* this, and it is what makes him so attractive, although it is of course also what makes her friends (Giles in particular) suspicious. I guess you could see it as a reminder of the fact that he's not telling the truth about who he is. (Much like the Doctor actually - he jumps into her life, 'sweeping her off her feet' and showing her the best time of her life, without ever giving much away about himself. Although - unlike the Doctor - he lets her know that it's definitely temporary.) Anyway yes, there ( ... )
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Yes, it does now! Thanks for explanation! *smoochies*
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Oh good! I have a ton of meta behind everything, but it's hard to gauge how much comes across in the text.
Thanks for explanation!
My pleasure. (I guess it's taking what we saw in TGIQ fairly literally - The Immortal is more of a concept than a person, really.
*smooches back*
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I guess it's taking what we saw in TGIQ fairly literally - The Immortal is more of a concept than a person, really.
Yes - but you re-imagined him as a full-fledged character who is much, much more than a concept. I got used to him as Jack Harkness. When I read your story I mentally call him Jack. I just can't think of him as "Immortal". I mentally see JB's face, I imagine his mannerisms, etc.
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That makes me very, very, very happy! :)
When I read your story I mentally call him Jack. I just can't think of him as "Immortal".
I have the same problem actually, and am (of course) referring to him as 'Jack' when we're in his POV. I guess the way the name jars is (as I said) symptomatic of the fact that the whole set-up is fake. This, of course, is something that's just a variation on his role at Torchwood (during S1) - nobody knows who he is:
(Jack leaves the room. As soon as Jack’s out of hearing range, they turn their attention to Gwen ( ... )
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