The First Time, Chapter 2

[elisa_trapt]

Title: The First Time
Rating: I've decided I'm going with mild R. Does that count?
A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry, I haven't been ignoring you - just got back from a long weekend trip to Las Vegas this afternoon, and I had no Internet when I was there - very tragic! Also tragic, I did not win big and get to quit my job. Shoot. Anyway, my sincere thanks to

Comments

[lovelyafterglow]

Ay...poor Pepa. What a fucking mess she must've been those first few days. :-(

[elisa_trapt]

I agree. I think she was barely functional if I had to guess. And probably doesn't remember a whole hell of a lot from those first few weeks. :(

[pepsifangirl]

This was painful to read, but you explain very well why Pepa didn't want to go to the funeral, something the show never did. Poor Pepa. :(

[elisa_trapt]

Yeah, they didn't go into it that much, did they? It was kind of a throw-away line from Paco. And I thought there was loads there that wasn't said. But I guess a little lucky for me, huh? Leaves me a lot of space to write in.

Poor Pepa indeed. Believe me, it wasn't a happy time occupying her head writing the first few chapters. She was just teetering on the brink, I imagine.

[lenageek]

Oh dang, I'm sitting here at work trying not to cry! I agree with pepsifangirl, at least you showed Pepa's state of mind as to why she couldn't attend the funeral. When I first heard that line in the show, that really bothered me - but I love that you got into Pepa's head and showed the process of her grief. Painful but wonderful read! Keep it up! :D

[elisa_trapt]

Oh, geez! Don't cry at work, lena! You'll have some 'splainin' to do! That might not go over so well...

You know, I wasn't all that shocked that Pepa had run off before the funeral. As much as Pepa changed Silvia, the relationship also changed Pepa. She learned what it was to stay and fight for her redhead and what she wanted and cared about. But in the absence of Silvia, she reverted back to her previous lifestyle, what she was comfortable with, and that was getting the hell away from anything and everything that was too difficult to deal with. So I just kinda tried to tap into that notion. Even if Pepa's head wasn't an especially cheery place to be right then. :(

Thanks for the comment, lena. Oh, and I meant to tell you - love your icon!

[swiftlyreloaded]

it was a lil hard to read Pepa suffering SO. i liked it though cuz the show never explored this area of her grief. i totally get why she couldn't attend Silvia's funeral but glad your fic
went into it more than the show.

[elisa_trapt]

Thanks so much!

I understand why the show jumped ahead the way it did, but it left an awful lot unexplained and unexplored. And I think by the time Pepa came back, she had sorted through some of the darkness, or at least lived through it. But I think it was hard for us as PepSi fans to take her that way - in some ways, I think we probably needed to go through the grieving process with her, and we missed out on that.

[bsofthewest]

This is just wonderfully written. I actually can't imagine that Pepa will get better, but I will read every entry with eagerness.
This was perfect:
"Silvia counted on me! She counted on me, and look what happened! No one should count on me, no one!”

[bsofthewest]

Also, do you think you could put a link to the chapters so we have them all together?

[elisa_trapt]

I'm going to try! This LJ posting world is new to me, so I'm learning as I go. And bugging the hell out of supercontenta in the process!

[bsofthewest]

Well, I hope you master LJ's little system because, you my friend, will develop a following with writing like this.