The Pen is Mightier...

[eli_writes]

 This was written in response to a prompt in The Dead Muse.  The last line that is Italicized was the prompt.  :)  I hope you like it, please feel free to give me constructive criticism.

The doctor turned to his intern, “I want to let you know that this next appointment isn’t going to be a traditional one at all.  The young lady is a long-term

Comments

[sylvrilyn]

Oh, wow. This was so gripping I felt like I was in the intern's place...except that I felt smarter than him. Heh. But like I was right there watching. You do an amazing job of really being *present* in the story. Thanks for posting this.

[eli_writes]

Thank you for the compliment! The therapist I referenced below, Marsha Linehan, would love that I was fully present in the story since that is one of the concepts she teaches.

I am glad the watching came across well since I haven't written anything from that point of view before. I really wanted his personal prejudices to be put on hold until the end of the piece. I am glad you truly felt involved in the story. :)

eli.

[peppercatqp]

Beautifully described, not hard to read and not overwhelmed with details. Makes you feel like you're actually there. I think it was a bit exagerated, the blood pen (I mean, for a doctor to allow that) but then again, it's your story. =)

Cheers!~

[eli_writes]

Well, some doctors will give a lot for their patients. The one that devised a specific therapy, M. Linehan is a great example.

I did look online and there is such a creature as a blood pen, although it is a lot more complicated than I gave it credit for. I was under the impression there were pens you could have specially filled with ink made from your own blood, but maybe I am looking in the wrong place or just looking incorrectly. *shrug* I do know that they have a contraption that allows you to use a syringe and a fountain pen, though. It was very interesting. *lol* I just took the concept a bit farther.

As for a therapist actually doing it...I don't know. I know they wouldn't do it outside a controlled setting like that, for sure. Other than that, who knows? I threw it out there as a story for that reason.

I am glad it piqued your interest. :) I am also thrilled you liked the way it read and felt like you were really there. :D

eli.

[gingerloveslove]

Geez, that was just. Wow. It was so real, without going overboard with descriptions. Fabulous. I love the raw-ness of the conversations, and I had to read the last line like twelve times and every time I loved the whole thing more. Makes no sense, I know but... still. It was a very striking piece, bravo, brava!

[eli_writes]

Someone gave me some ideas on where I might take this, if I wanted to write something longer with it. I don't know as I don't usually write a lot of dark stuff. I have been drawn to it lately and hope it gives my other writing more depth.

It is definitely something to think on, though. I can definitely see something happening with the asylum. I can also see making the doctor a much more sympathetic character and the editors less so. Or making the doctor much more twisted. There are a lot of ways I could go with this. ;)

eli.

*BLUSHING*

[eli_writes]

And I was rude enough not to say THANK YOU for the very positive comment. I meant to and just forgot...Somewhere in my head there is a memory, but I forgot where I put it. :p

eli.