since i have felt the need to do those things i used to do

i hate my life.

it's been just over a month since i've miscarried and things have slowly gone downhill. and i believe they will stay like that. i don't sleep anymore. and i crave alcohol drugs and sleep more than ever. but i have none of these. except maybe booze from time to time. and my not eating isn't working, terry knows and makes me eat. i'll never win.

oooo, golly, am i stuck in a pickle...

who would have thought that id be lucky enough to have two guys trailing after me?

but... the hard part is the decision.

as of right now, my status is still single, but that's subject to change =]

even if things dont work out, this is just the osrt of thing that i needed to get back on track.
so, me being as pessimistic as i am, highly doubt that things will get serious.
but, im in it for as long as it will last.
what can i say?
im hooked =]
and having a blast

ps.

i started writing again.
my novel.
and i think that it could be something

im aching for something of which i do not know.
im longing for a loving look
im desiring.... the eyes that will look forever into mine

i want a boy. scratch that. a man.

( Read more... )

why is it that everybody reads all the bullshit and comments on it, and when they read the important stuff, they dont even bother to see how u are????

sry, that was my rant, and im done.

cant work until tuesday, and maybe even later.

i really fucked up my back.

hey guys. just to let u know... i was in the ER on monday b/c of my back. i was helping my kids at work to swim (duh, cuz thats what i do =]). i had them get out of the pool and lay down on the cement so i could grab theur feet, point them, and use their legs to show them how to kick properly, show them how its supposed to feel when they kick ( Read more... )

nothing is ever as it seems....
make someone's day today.
it'll make you feel better.
it made mine for awhile.
it actually helps when i think of it.
i long to see his smile again.