FIC: Joyless, NC-17, Fraser/Leoben

[elementalv]

Title: Joyless
Author: Tara Keezer
Rating: NC-17
Fandoms: due South/Battlestar Galactica crossover
Notes: More of that BSG thing. 2,300 words that are set after Convergence, and before the events of History.
Warning: I’m nervous about this entry, because I’ve been noshing on it since January, and I’m not convinced it works. I also think I’ve been

Comments

[nos4a2no9]

Wow, I've been reading these as they've gone up so the story is fractured, and I LOVED that you played with this a bit in making Fraser's own perceptions of time (past, present, future, etc) equally fractured and difficult to gauge. The political/religious stuff is fascinating, the sex appropriately hot and disturbing, and I am amazed by this version of Fraser. He's desperate and in denial and yet somehow he still maintains this absolutely clear sense of right and wrong, enough so that he can offer Adama that explanation of why he distrusts governments. Ouch. And score one for Fraser

[elementalv]

Thank you for this feedback -- it's pretty incredible in its own right.

Fraser is in a mental space where he's trying desperately to hold onto himself in any way he can, and it's warping him in strange and unexpected ways. On a deep level, he knows his union with Leoben was a last-ditch effort to find absolution from Ray, which is impossible. Once the denial starts, Fraser can't help but maintain his own awareness of it, much though he would prefer not to at this point.

He knows he's broken at a fundamental level, and he's not sure if he'll ever get fixed.

[ultra_chrome]

I've only seen a couple of eps of BSG. For some reason my cable only shows season 1 over and over and in random order...

From what I have seen, this is exactly the way the cylons would fuck with someone's head and it gives me great satisfaction to see you have Fraser fuck back in small ways. A hopeless battle, but still, there's a spark trying to ignite in there.

I read through all the other bits again before this one and I don't know how you do it, but you've made me love the horror of a broken Fraser. I do not do sad or deathfic if I can help it, but I devour this.

So you win and I don't want to love you for it, but I kind of do.

[elementalv]

I do not do sad or deathfic if I can help it

I'm so with you there that it's ridiculous for me to be writing this. But I can't help myself! Just when I think I've got it all out of my system, whoops! There's more pain for Fraser.

[buzzylittleb]

Ouch. Also, supersmart. And Fraser's denials and the lies he tells himself. And his handling skills.

[elementalv]

Poor guy is broken in a way that Chicago never managed.

[checks]

[still with a lack of guilt over doing this to him]

[slidellra]

Amazing. Beautifully constructed, painful, terrifying, and amazing. You win.

[elementalv]

I would do Paul Gross arms, but the best I can manage is this:

/o\

because the winning is totally sad.

[mmmarmalade]

What slidellra said. But, you know, less articulate.

Ouch, and OMG, Frakking Fabulous.

[elementalv]

Definitely with you on the ouch and OMG.

To think - I used to be such a cheerful little elementalv.