fuck you life

[elayissex]

i cant stop crying, my eyes feel like their on fire. i feel nothing, apsolutely nothing. i talked to scott, and mostly the truth was told - ive done nothing...hes depressed, he feels like he has nothing in life...im trying so hard, im trying so fucking hard. i feel like a mess, i cant concentrate - cant think, i dont want to be anywhere. i just

Comments

[__detunedradio]

You said it yourself-he needs to feel the pain that I'm feeling, or something along those lines. I wish I knew how you felt, because maybe then I could say something to make you stop crying, or postpone it for a little while. I love you.

[elayissex]

B i said that beforei knew the truth {sigh} now i know the truth.

[__detunedradio]

And since you know the truth, now you know what you have to do.

[kill__mequick]

i dont want u to cry :(

[innerflight]

i know lydii, i just got on the computer since the last time last night... and immediately check my e-mail. it shows new e-mail from nick, i'm like... i'm just sitting there afraid to click it. but i open it up and it seems okay, i mean i guess he still cares about me. i'm scared though, because i do feel a bit manipulated the way he wouldn't answer me about things... and i'm just not going to get my hopes up that things will be okay someday. i feel too untrusting about this because maybe it's just a way for him to get me back into his life so he can hurt me again... i don't know. but, i do feel a little better because i guess this means that he did read the e-mail i've sent to him. i sent that e-mail november 14th, but i haven't been talking to him for about a month. i looked at his journal and he wrote an entry talking about how he's just been crying the whole day, and he doesn't really know why and the entry time on that shows 10 minutes before i got the e-mail from him. so he might've been feeling this way from me... i hope i didn

[elayissex]

Rena, i bet more people then you even know care about you. with scott, its different. theres more behind it that i didnt take the time to realize until yesterday. hes just been really depressed...and he doesnt feel anything. it really actually kills me, if you want the truth - to know that hes feeling so poorly, but i cant not understand - because ive been there. i could never walk away from him now, he was there when i needed him the most - and i will be there, for as long as he needs me. i know somewhere in his heart, he loves me like he always did - but right now, emotions are blocking that - and actually, i really do understand it.
<333

[clikclik___bang]

listen to me, and listen to me good. its okay to cry, and i dont know what scott said to you, and why you are so upset, but if he isnt treating you like a princess then he can fuck off. if he doesnt treat you with respect, and treats you how you WANT TO BE TREATED then in the long run it wont work out anyway. he may have had his good moments, and made you feel amazing. and then he probably acted like he didnt care and shit. because ive been through it, and its not worth the pain in the end. its just not. i know im not helping, and am probably pissing you off because when people said this to me about chris i would get angry. but then i woke up and realized that i deserved better. at first i didnt WANT better, but eventually you realize you need better. so scott can shove a dick in his face, because sometimes i wonder if he is just afraid of love, or tries to act tough. because if he is, then he isnt mature enough to be in this relationship. i personally think you'll get him back, but is getting him back what you really want if things

[elayissex]

I really understand essa, but theres more to it also - im understanding things now, and its not as bad as i beleived it was. he didnt do anything last night to make me feel amazeing - but he told me the truth, and i know why things are happening the way they are now. he wont take me back, so dont worry about that - because right now, he doesnt feel any emotion at all - but i do want him, every bit of me does - though right now, i cannot have him.

[__geekstah]

It's odd you know. We always cry about something on the same day. Last night I cried myself to sleep. Lydia I love you. I'm sorry that everything is fucked up with scott and life in general. It is okay to cry though. You'll feel safe again, You'll feel love. Sometimes the things you want the most aren't the things you truly need. If it's right, Everything will be okay. Life can't be shitty forever. Everyone has their good days and their bad days. You will be okay. You have to be okay. I truly hope EVERYTHING is okay and will be okay.

[elayissex]

ill be fine Aut, i love you too
<3333 i promise.