Lolitas Behaving Badly

[lafarat]

I ran into a young lady on FB who utterly despised the rules surrounding Lolita, and there was some palpable bitterness in her words. It came to light that she had been publically assaulted by her local comm, because her Wa-Lolita coordinate was made of 'shiny' material. Apparently, she had eggs thrown at her by the other girls back in 2009, and

Comments

[lafarat]

Thankfully, there were other lolitas in the thread that were more than supportive. A bunch of other girls from different communities came out of the woodwork, from Seattle to Israel, and started inviting her to their own comms instead. She wasn't interested. I think the experience just sort of ruined the fashion for her.

I visited the comm she was talking about in September of this year. They were nothing if not welcoming and kind to me and my friend. That comm must have undergone a very dramatic change since the incident, because there were some girls there that were wearing far worse than bad fabric, and they were completely relaxed around them.

[nyami_rose1]

Ha ha, actually witnessed a "lolita behaving badly" just yesterday. But it had to do with something outside the fashion.

I'll be honest, before I made our local FB community, I was in a few other comms from around my area (though not my area exactly) that were terrible. Mean people, bad attitudes, lots of gossip and talking behind each other's backs... Once I figured out how to make my own group page on FB, I was GONE.

But that was all online stuff. I've never heard of such physical bullying/assault happening lolita to lolita in a community. And I sincerely hope it never occurs in ours.

[spikeygal]

That's point blank outrageous. As someone who would quite like to be involved in Lolita, I have to admit that it's really the culture of bullying that seems to be so ingrained in this subculture that keeps me from making the jump. Every online community I see just seems, on varying levels, palpably unpleasant. Like the default is competitive bitchiness. I feel like I've gotten past the part of my life in which I'm willing to walk into such an atmosphere.

Throwing eggs, though. I can't even begin to get my head around that. Inexcusable, childish behaviour.

[lafarat]

To be honest, neither could I. I thought I had misread her posts at first. Who throws eggs at people!?

Comms are a mixed grab-bag of attitudes, and it can be a shock to the inexperienced. There are some comms are are just dripping with bitter, nasty people. I got a taste of that in California when I was first starting out. On the other hand, some are fantastic and full to the bursting with sweethearts. I adore the girls in the Seattle comm! It's all based on the individual make-up of the girls within the community.

[johorror]

This. Makes. Me. FURIOUS.

If someone did those things to me omg I don't know what I would do. I'd want to burn their coord right off their body and burn all they're other lolita things to ash.

But I can't believe people actually behave this way.

There really should be something one could do. The only thing I can think to do is contact the police for assault and try to get the violator to pay up for the damages. But... Maybe getting the story out there to humiliate them would be good.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me not want to join a local comm. I don't want to be around those people. I don't even want to know they exist.

Lolita is supposed to be a nice and pretty fashion/community. People like that just make it (and themselves) look ugly.

[cyanideandlaace]

Yeah same. That's why I'm almost terrified of meeting other lolitas or going to a big lolita event in my area.