wednesday

[egg_shell]

Comments

[amw]

When my mother passed away her sister dealt with her stuff and found an old journal of hers, which (along with photos etc) she digitized and sent on to me and my sister because she felt i should have it. It's 3 or 4 years later now and i still haven't read the journal. Not because i expect there would be something outrageous in it, but just because i trust that if mom had something she wanted to share with me when she was alive, she would've, so what she didn't share wasn't really intended for me and that's fine

[egg_shell]

Yes! Just be ME, for ME. If they're interested they can find out if they want to, but I don't need to pre-protect them.

Though don't you wonder what is in your mom's journal that your aunt thought you might like to see? Maybe there was something very sweet about you? Personally I'd have to read it. My inner voyeur would take over. :-)

[amw]

I guess there could be something about me in there, but do i want to check? If there isn't, would be disappointed? What about if there was something about my sister and not me, or vice versa? I am happy with the memory of my mom how it is, and although i am not going out of my way to shelter myself from learning more about her (e.g. from her family reminiscing), i also don't think there is much to gain from snooping.

I feel differently about some of my other relatives or other people who died, of course. For example, i didn't really know my grandfather very well, so if i could find out more about his life before he died, that could be interesting to me. But that would be more interesting in the abstract, the same way i am curious about a celebrity who died mysteriously or a prominent figure whose background as a spy is revealed decades after the fact.

[egg_shell]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and you probably have the right idea. "I am happy with the memory of my mom how it is..." Once I had an opportunity to read something Dave wrote to a friend and I saw my name in there. I decided to stop reading it.

[lifeinroseland]

Good picture for how you’re feeling ;)

[egg_shell]

Yeah, sometimes the pictures I find for my day seem right. :-)

[geminiwench]

I have a mom who has no filter,... she may be incapable of keeping *anything* secret or personal as far as I know.

What it gave me very early on (that other kids didn't develop until later) is a sense of knowing my mother as a fairly complete/complex/experienced/faulted human being. I didn't have to "discover" that and I didn't feel the need to "out" her pettiness or hypocrisy or all the dumb stuff we do as humans for our own silly reasons,.. she was always open from the start that life is weird and no one is elevated or perfect... some just hide it better than others.

And honestly, I really appreciated that.

[one_raido]

I found a hand written journal of my mom's after she died. It was a recent journal. She wasn't a journaler. It stared out with something about someone suggesting she try journaling. A lot of it was worries about me as a single mom.

[egg_shell]

Interesting. I wish my mom had kept a journal. I thought she thought certain things but it would be interesting to know.

[mallorys_camera]

My kids are completely uninterested in anything I write. 😀

Even if you do censor your LiveJournal, I think it conveys a strong sense of the person you are. It's the photos you choose. And you've said many times that you're more into images than words.

[egg_shell]

Johnny, my youngest reads my livejournal now and then. Not every day. He's the only one. He's on computers all day, everyday for his job. Maybe that's why he's even a little bit interested in it. I'm nosy though. I think if I had the opportunity and it was open to read I might read theirs. At least check it out once.