life is change - and some things don't

[egg_shell]

From my paper journal - dated March 22, 2009:

Mom woke up with the word “John” on her lips and a smile. I told her she could think about him all day today. Another smile. When I was trying to get her arm out of its sleeve and things weren’t working, ineffective struggling, she reached out with her other hand and grabbed my arm and pulled my hand

Comments

[rosegardenfae]

Sometimes I think we are in synch. I was also looking through old paper journals recently, and there, amidst the entries where I beat myself up, feel bad, sad and ugly were poems and ideas. I don't have many ideas any more either. I think I'm older than you are? My mother was creative up till her final illness. But then, she died when only a year older than I am now, so who knows what she might have been like later.

Your entry from the paper journal is beautiful.

[egg_shell]

I do remember reading your journal where you talked about reading old entries. I think here on LJ we do feed off ideas from each other sometimes. I like that about it.

I will turn 65 this summer.

That's sad - that your mom was so young.

[loputon]

I wish we could really KNOW which things will change and which ones won't... It would help me to know, I think.

[egg_shell]

Yeah - I did not expect that my creativity and zest for creating would slow down so much. If we knew we could plan to hold onto things better maybe.

[siglinde99]

Those are beautiful memories. Thanks for sharing. It’s not very helpful to say, I know, but your reflections about your life and your art always sound Iike you have a lot of purpose. It may no longer be purpose in terms of making things to sell, but you are doing interesting things, contemplating, and sharing thoughts, every single day.

[egg_shell]

I used to think those days were so hard (while I was living them) - now I think they were easy. At least my days were planned out better.

Thanks.

[dementiadaughtr]

I found myself doing the exact same thing yesterday. I was re arranging some shelf space and pulled out a few old journals from almost ten years ago. It’s so strange to read things you have forgotten about but it all comes back to you so crystal clear. But in the background of your mind you are also aware about the audience you were at that time. I hope that makes sense. I wish I had journaled more when I was caregiving Dad. I think you were the one who shared with me my journey the most in writing. I got and still do get so much inspiration from you, your writing your art your photos and you willingness to share your thoughts good or bad. You have served many purposes with so many people on so many levels. You are doing more than enough. I know I’m lucky we met and I think your a strong, creative and a total awesome woman. One day it’s Yoshi , next day it’s chickens. Who can’t find that interesting? Keep sharing.

[egg_shell]

So interesting to read old journals and relive those times. I am so glad now I have kept them over the years.

Thanks. :-)

[num3bers]

Some things. Do somethings. Don’t. I had. One paper one Pictures. Better

[egg_shell]

Yes, somethings in me never change. I feel like I am always me somehow. Though lots of other things do change. I like having this LJ for posting photos and public writing and the paper journal for the boring everyday complaining. :-)

[num3bers]

Good.