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Moving On...
Life has been truly weird lately.
I'm not sure of what to make of things.
I've been thinking very seriously about what i want to do with my life; as every day passes - and as falseties, and illusions fall away.
It came to blows with an old "friend" a week or two ago - who I finally blocked. He kept trying to talk to me on the matter but he just isn't ( Read more... ) -
Harsh Realization...
I had a really harsh realization today; all of my romantic relationships I have ever been in have been incredibly unhealthy and abusive.
Well... fuck me.
February 6th 2019
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Black Bird/In My Life
We have been at the stay at home order for the past 4 weeks now. We elected to do it willingly, knowing that my mom and my sister - and I - could very well get very ill and get sick because of COVID-19. My sister ended up having to go and stay downtown in Detroit for her job. My job was kind enough to move us all to working from home.
Honestly, we ( Read more... ) -
Happy Endings in Sight...
Never did I ever think I could be this happy... I have moments where I feel like - I don't deserve this... but I know I do.
And i've been looking for this perfect person my whole life... I keep fighting these feelinga of inadequacy.
What have I really done with my life?
What makes me believe I deserve this kind of joy and happiness?
And bliss?
And yet ( Read more... ) -
Body Positive?
I've been thinking about this term alot lately.
I think that even those who are body positive can desire to make positive healthy changes to their body so they are happy.
This concept is weird though? What if you do, indeed want to look like a Barbie or Ken doll? Is that still permittable? What if you're still healthy?
What if you are body positive ( Read more... ) -
Fear.
I don't know where to begin.
I am almost paralyzed with anxiety and fear.
I have an amazing opportunity.
I'm scared of failure and - I am scared of success too.
I'm having a hard time - trying to get myself going.
Getting myself centered enough to work on this.
I'm paralyzed with anxiety and fear - and for once its not about a relationship.
For once - its ( Read more... ) -
Regrets...
Let's be realistic. Sometimes I have things I want to post - but I just don't feel like they are appropriate.
I spent a REALLY long time together looking through everything I have ever posted; yes even on my OLD deadjournal account.
It's so funny, because looking at this stuff now makes me laugh my butt off.
MY GOD! I forgot about so much. I remember ( Read more... ) -
My Messed Up - Traumatized Brain.
I may seem like I have it all together but I won't lie; there are days where my brain decides to take my head down memory lane and torture me.
It can happen for any reason and most of the time I have a trigger or something that suddenly plummets me into this feeling of mania, insanity, and torture. Sometimes there is no trigger. Sometimes its just ( Read more... )
