fic: it always comes around (disney rpf, nick/miley, 1/?)
Title: It Always Comes Around
Author: empressearwig
Pairing: Nick/Miley
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,000 for this part
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is all for fun. This didn’t happen. Etc.
Summary: Two weeks in June.
Authors Notes: I was going to finish this before I started posting, but then I realized just how long it was going to be and said screw it. Thanks to various people who read this against their will.
Miley loves Nick.
No matter what, no matter their relationship status, no matter whether they were feuding or friends, that one thing has remained the same. She's loved him since she was thirteen years old, and even if she could change that, she wouldn't.
She loves Nick. It's just the way it is.
But knowing that, accepting it, doesn't make living with it any easier.
*
When she breaks up with Justin, it's not really because of Nick.
Well, it sort of is. But she's pretty sure that Nick or no Nick, she and Justin wouldn't have lasted with her in Georgia all summer and then touring all fall. The fact that she and Nick had sort of been flirting for months, first over texts and then over the phone and eventually via video chatting, that just added to the reasons she and Justin wouldn't have worked. Because it's wrong to flirt that much with your ex-boyfriend while you have another one, especially if you're still kind of in love with your ex. Miley knows that.
But it's Nick. She's never really had the best judgment where he's concerned.
Justin doesn't believe her when she's says that she and Nick are just friends, and she can't blame him too much, not when the pictures from the video shoot have leaked all over the internet. Looking at them, she can see how someone would think that there was something going on, but really, they'd just been having fun. Friends are allowed to have fun together. And if every time Nick had touched her she'd felt a tingle on her skin, it didn't mean she'd actually have acted on it.
Miley doesn't cheat on her boyfriends. If Justin can't believe that, it's his problem.
She calls Nick later that night, after she performs, and while she's packing for Georgia. It's not that she thinks he'll really care that she broke up with Justin, she just wants someone to talk to. And she used to do this with Nick all the time, talk when one or both of them was getting ready to head off to where ever, so it's totally not a big deal that she's calling him now. In fact, it's normal. Maybe one of the most normal things she's done in months.
She waits impatiently for him to pick up, pacing the length of her bedroom. She tries to convince herself that it's not a big deal if he doesn't answer, he's busy and has his own life and it'll probably be easier to get ready if she's not distracted. But her heart skips a beat when he finally answers and she knows that she's lying to herself.
"Hey," he says, sounding sort of out of breath, like maybe he rushed to get to the phone. She won't let herself think that he might want to talk to her as much as she wants to talk to him.
"Hey," she says back, walking over to her closet and opening the doors.
"What's up?" he asks, and Miley can hear the sound of Elvis barking in the background. It sounds like a door closes and suddenly it's much quieter.
She sort of shrugs and pulls a suitcase down off a shelf. "Nothing. I'm trying to pack. How was your flight?"
"Fine. The usual. You know."
She smiles, because yeah, she does. "Yeah."
"So," he says, and she swears she can hear the smirk in his voice, "how was the benefit?"
Miley groans. How can that be on the internet already? "Fine. The usual. You know," she parrots back. It wasn't like she planned it, god, it just sort of happened. And it felt right, but that doesn't mean she wants Nick and the rest of the world to get ideas about what it means or anything.
Nick laughs, and the sound of it sends a tingle down her spine. "Miley, Miley, Miley."
"Nicholas."
"Something you want to tell me?" he teases. "About not hating me anymore perhaps?"
She sniffs. "I think I do hate you right now, actually." She flops down on her bed, holding the phone closer to her ear.
He laughs again. "You don't mean that."
She raises an eyebrow. "Want to bet?"
He's silent for a minute and she starts to worry that they got disconnected, but then Nick says really softly, "It meant something. Thank you."
"I meant it," she whispers back, and her heart is beating really fast. She listens to the steady evenness of Nick's breathing and tries to match her heartbeat to it.
They don't speak for what feels like forever, but it's not weird at all. It's nice, comforting. She just feels really safe and like they're connected, like she could tell him anything and it would be okay. Which is probably why she says, "I broke up with Justin," before she even realizes what she's doing.
Nick inhales sharply, and her heart starts speeding up again. "Yeah?" he asks, and she hears so many different things in that one word that she can't even begin to tell what he's thinking. She wishes she could see him, because she can always find it in his eyes, no matter how much he tries to hide.
She nods as though he can see her. "Yeah."
"You okay?"
It's a simple question, but there's not really a simple answer. Not with the way he asked, worry for her and carefully concealed interest all mixed together. Not with the way she's feeling, which is relieved and sad and kind of happy too.
She must take too long thinking about what to say, because Nick asks kind of anxiously, "Miley?" like he's worried that she's not okay or not there anymore and it makes her smile just a little. Because there was a time when he wouldn't have cared whether she was okay or not, that they wouldn't have been talking at all, and Miley's just happy that it's not like that anymore.
"I think I'm okay," she says, and it's the right answer, though she doesn't realize it till she's said it. It's nothing like what she felt when she and Nick broke up, like the world was over and all she wanted to do was pull the covers over her head and cry forever. She feels bad that she hurt Justin, and she's sad that they probably can't be friends anymore, but she knows that it's better this way even if it'd hard right now. And that makes it okay.
"Good."
Miley can hear about a million different meanings of that one word and she tries to ignore them all, because it's better that way. Simpler. So she tries to change the subject, to get things away from her. "So what are you doing with your last few days of freedom?"
There's a low chuckle, and she knows that he knows what she's doing. "I'm not sure," he says. "Just hanging out, I guess."
She gets up off her bed and walks over to her closet. She should at least pretend that she's trying to pack, probably. "That sounds so not like you."
"I can take a vacation," he protests.
She laughs. This is why she called him. Teasing Nick is one of the most fun things to do in the world and the fact that he lets her, well, that’s probably something she doesn't want to think about again. "Sure you can."
"Like you have any room to talk," he says pointedly.
"Hey, I went on vacation this spring." She starts pulling clothes out of her closet at random and dumping them into her suitcase. It’s a start at least. "How about you?"
"Didn't you perform a concert while on that vacation?"
"Deflection, nice try, Nicky." She smirks. "And have you been reading my press clippings or something?"
He laughs. "You think you're going to win this argument don't you?"
She grins. Baiting Nick's competitive side is so much damn fun. "I know I'm going to win this argument."
"You know I don't like to lose," he says, and his voice sounds lower and husky and it's like they've suddenly started having a completely different conversation.
She licks her lips unconsciously. "I do. But you're going to."
"How about I prove to you that I can take a vacation?"
There's something in his voice that's making her weak in the knees, like he's about to up the stakes in this game that they're playing, and she gives in, sinking to the floor, hoping it will ground her. "What did you have in mind?"
He takes a deep breath before speaking, and when he does Miley can hear the nerves in his voice, though he’s trying really hard to hide them. "Simple, I come visit you."
Her jaw drops and she splutters, "What?" because in a million years, she'd never have guessed that he would suggest that.
"You heard me," he says more confidently, and she knows that he's smirking on the other end of the line, because he knows that he just increased the odds of him winning. But really, how is she supposed to react to this?
"You want to come see me," she says slowly, stalling for time.
"Is that so hard to believe?" he teases, and it's completely obvious how much he's loving having the shoe on the other foot.
It kind of is that hard to believe, but it's kind of not too, and god, why can't she think? She needs to say something, anything, and she knows Nick must be laughing so hard, because he's actually made her speechless.
And sure enough, he's laughing as he says, "Miles, you still there?" when she doesn't answer.
"Yes," she says as quickly as she can and hopes it doesn't come out really breathy.
"Yes?"
She nods. So what if it's crazy and probably a bad idea, now that he's suggested it she wants to see him in the worst way. "Yes."
There's a pause and then he says, kind of nervously, "Um, Miles? We are talking about the same thing, right?"
And she suddenly feels so much better, because the Nick she loves best is the Nick that's like this: a little bit awkward, a little bit unsure, just Nick. When he's like this, it's like he's more hers, because he doesn't let many people see him this way. "I don't know, Nicholas, what do you think I was talking about?"
She can practically hear him narrowing his eyes at her. "Don't play games with me, Destiny Hope."
"You started it," she retorts, cause yeah, he did.
"I did not."
"Did so."
"Did not - look, do you want me to come visit you or not?" As he asks he doesn't sound frustrated like she thought he would, he sounds nervous, like he's worried that she doesn't want it.
So she stops teasing him. "Yes. I do."
He takes a quick breath in. "Yeah?"
She smiles, because he sounds as happy as she feels. "Yeah."
"Okay," he says. And she thinks that maybe he's saying something more, but she's not sure she wants to know.
There's a knock at her door and she calls out, "Come in!"
Her mom sticks her head in the door and asks, "How's the packing coming?"
Miley looks at the pile of clothes in her suitcase and then back at her mom and says, "It's coming?"
"Well, maybe you should hang up the phone and actually pack," her mom suggest mildly.
Miley wrinkles her nose and sighs. "Fine."
Her mom laughs and closes the door again and Miley says into the phone, "Did you hear that?"
Nick laughs. "Have I been distracting you, Miles?"
She rolls her eyes. "You? Never."
He says, "We'll see about that," and his voice sounds really husky again and it kind of sends a shiver down her spine.
"If you say so." She tries to keep her voice light, like he's not getting to her in ways that he shouldn't be, but he's Nick and he knows her better than almost anyone so she's sure he can tell. And is enjoying it. "Look, I probably should go."
"Yeah," he agrees. "I'll call you later about setting things up, okay?"
"Okay." And it's finally sinking in that this is really going to happen. "Bye, Nick."
"Bye, Miley."
She waits for him to hang up first, and then ends the call. She falls backward so she's flat on her back on the floor. Her heart is beating about a million miles a second, and there's a fluttering in her stomach, and she just feels really happy. She thinks that it's probably not normal to feel like this after a break up, but she can't think about Justin at all. Her mind is too full of Nick and what he said and what he didn't say and the fact that he's coming to see her in Savannah.
Nick's coming to see her in Savannah.
*
The first night in Savannah is harder than Miley thought it would be.
It’s not home and she misses Justin more than she thought she would now that she’s so far away, and even though she’s more excited that she wants to admit about Nick coming to visit the next day, it doesn’t change the fact that for the moment she’s alone. She just really hates being alone.
She keeps her phone next to her in bed all night, and sends texts almost at random to anyone that she thinks will be awake, will text her back. She finally falls asleep with her phone still in her hand after Nick texts her at 2 am, saying sleep miley. be there soon. Seeing it in black and white like that makes it real. She holds onto that like a lifeline and her dreams are filled with memories of being fourteen and so in love that she couldn’t think straight.
She has to be up early for work the next morning, which is almost a relief, because it’s something to do to fill up her head. Maybe she won’t think so much about Justin or about Nick for a little while.
And it sort of works, she almost loses herself in finding out what Ronnie’s going to look like. Its fun having her hair and makeup fussed with, to become someone else. Being herself is too hard.
But then she gets a text from Justin and he wants her to reconsider, to take it back, and god, part of her really does want to. It would be so easy to do just that, but Miley knows that wouldn’t be fair. Not fair to her, not fair to him. Not fair to Nick, though she’s not even sure she should be thinking about that. Maybe all she and Nick are is just friends.
The nagging voice in her head won’t stop asking would he be coming to visit her if they were just friends.
She finishes on set early in the afternoon and Nick’s not getting there until early evening, so when one of her new cast mates asks if she wants to go jet skiing she jumps at it. Anything to fill up the hours. And she’s always loved being out on the water, there’s something about it that she finds exhilarating, like if she goes fast enough nothing will be able to stop her. She’s invincible.
She really needs to feel like that right now.
It works, too. When she gets home from jet skiing, her mind feels clear and she feels like she can handle things better. She showers, rinsing the salt water out of her hair and off her skin, and tries to not think too much about the fact that Nick is going to be here any time now, because she knows that she’ll lose this new found balance the minute she sees him and she wants to hold onto it while she can. Needs to hold onto it while she can.
She stands in front of the closet that's not really hers and only half unpacked and agonizes. She wishes there was a manual for this, something called "How to Look Like You're Not Trying to Impress Your Ex-boyfriend Who Might Not Stay That Way, While Also Still Looking Cute." Because she is a girl. She always wants to look cute, and if Nick happens to notice that, well then that's not her fault. But she's not trying to impress him, not at all.
Her phone vibrates on her bed, and she turns away from her closet in relief. She sees that it's from Nick and her heart starts racing in a way that she wishes it wouldn't, because she doesn't want to know what it means. She opens the text and sees be there in 10. cant wait. She grins sort of foolishly at her phone, because yeah, she can't wait either and then realizes that she's out of time to make decisions that shouldn't matter so much. She throws on the closest shorts and t-shirt she can find and bundles her still wet hair on top of her head in a sloppy bun. When she looks at herself in the mirror she laughs, because she's a mess and Nick's reaction to that will probably be more telling than anything else.
The boy does not like messes. But she's never been anything but at her core, and he loved her anyway.
She sort of hopes that's still true.
She's running down the stairs when she hears the car pull up outside, and she can't help herself, she races to the front door and opens it before he can even make it all the way up the walk. And god, if she thought her heart was racing before, it's worse now, it feels like it's about to beat out of her chest. He's just - he's Nick. She saw him two days ago, but he looks older somehow. There's a determined set to his shoulders that she recognizes, and it sends a shiver down her spine, because what if the thing that he's so determined about is her?
She gives into impulse and runs down the steps to intercept him. He grins when he notices her coming, and the sight of Nick full out grinning isn't something anyone sees every day and she feels so lucky it's for her. He drops his bag and guitar case to the ground and catches her when she launches herself at him, squeezing her so tightly to his chest that she can't breathe, but she doesn't care. If she could stay like this forever, she'd gladly give up oxygen.
She buries her head in the space between his shoulder and his neck, and it feels so good to be like this. There was a time when Nick's arms felt like the safest place in the world, and this feels like that all over again.
Nick drops a kiss on the top of her head and sets her back on her feet. "It's nice to see you too, Miles," he teases with a smirk on his face.
She swats at his arm lightly and rolls her eyes at him. "Shut up."
He laughs, and it's the best sound that she's heard all day. "Real original." He bends down to pick up his belongings, blocking her when she tries to help. "I got it."
"You just don't trust me with your guitar," she says as they head up the driveway. They fall into step immediately, like they do this every day, and Miley can't help but wonder if suddenly the clock turned back two years. She sneaks a glance at his profile and tries not to think about whether or not he's noticed too.
He looks sort of sheepish at her accusation, because he can't very well deny it. Nick doesn't trust anyone with his guitars. "Well, yeah," he admits, and she has to laugh. God, how did she go a year without having this kind of easy knowing in her life? No matter what, she's not living without it again. She can't. It's too important.
"Shut up," he says, bumping her with his hip.
She can't help it, she has to say it. "Real original," she teases back, and the look that he gives her makes it totally worth it.
They're finally inside the house, and he drops his things to the floor with a thump, toeing out of his converse. "Is this what it's going to be like the entire time I'm here?" he demands. "Because I'm not sure that really qualifies as a vacation then..."
"You wouldn't have it any other way and you know it." She grins at him, and it's taking all her self control to not reach out and touch him. She tries to tell herself that she just wants to make sure he's real, but she knows that would be a lie.
Something changes in his eyes, and his voice sounds lower as he says, "No, I wouldn't."
She shivers even though it's anything but cold, and she has to look away. Suddenly she thinks they're talking about something completely different and it's not a conversation she's ready to have. "So, you want to drop your stuff in your room?" she asks, desperate for a safe topic, which, bedrooms probably aren't, now that she thinks about it.
Nick nods, and picks his things up again. She grabs him by the hand and leads him up the stairs, stopping at the empty bedroom next to hers. She hovers outside the door while Nick throws his bag on the bed and sets his guitar down on the floor.
He turns back to face her, and the reality that he's here, that he's staying, hits her again. "So do I get to see your room?" he asks, stretching his arms over his head, like he's still stiff from the flight.
Miley doesn't notice the strip of skin that appears between his jeans and his shirt. Not at all.
"Um, sure," she says, trying to keep her voice normal sounding. She nods her head to the right. "It's just next door."
"Show me," he says, and that thing is back in his eyes, and Miley walks blindly down the hall to her own room, feeling him close behind her.
She flips on the lights and gestures expansively at the room which is filled with the evidence that she hasn't come anywhere near finishing her unpacking. "This is it," she says, and she bites her lip. She feels like nothing is coming out right, like everything they're saying can mean multiple things and she doesn't know which it is.
Nick looks around the room, nodding his head, like what she's said actually matters. She watches him and wishes that she knew what he was thinking. She's probably overreacting, and acting like a girl, and god, she needs to stop.
"So this is home for the next two months," he says as he picks his way through the mess on the floor, flopping down on the bed. "Not bad, Miles, not bad at all."
She has to laugh, because he sounds ridiculous, but the sight of him on her bed, well, that kind of makes her want to do other things, so she stays rooted to the floor where she is. It's safer that way. "Adding real estate inspector to your list of future career possibilities, Nicky?" she teases, striving for the safe, easy ground.
"A guy's got to have a hobby," he counters.
She rolls her eyes at him, because really what else is she supposed to do?
He laughs, and pats the bed next to him. "What, am I going to bite or something? Come here."
She sort of panics, because that's kind of freakishly close to what she's trying not to think about, and blurts out, "Bite. Are you hungry? Because I'm hungry. I haven't had dinner yet, have you?"
Nick just smirks at her, and she really wants to hit him right now, but touching him at all is probably a bad idea. "Am I making you nervous or something, Miley?"
She can feel the blush rising on her cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about."
He has the audacity to laugh, but he stands up and walks over to her obediently. "I could eat. Probably should eat, actually."
She frowns. "When's the last time you checked your levels? The bathroom is right through there if you -"
Nick reaches out and squeezes her hand. "I'm fine, I promise." He lets go, and she tries to ignore that she's disappointed that he did. "So you want to get dinner?"
"Right, dinner." She frowns again as something occurs to her. Do they even have any food? Her mom's been in meetings all day and she's not sure they had anyone stock the kitchen or anything. "About that..."
He raises his eyebrows at her. "Yes?"
"I'm not sure that we actually have food," she admits sheepishly. She sees Nick open his mouth to speak and holds up a hand to cut him off. "Don't even think about it, Nicholas."
"What," he protests, eyes laughing at her, even if he's managed to not actually laugh. "I wasn't going to say anything."
"Sure you weren't," she mutters. She grabs his hand and leads him back down the stairs. "Whatever, we'll just have to investigate."
They get to the kitchen, and she opens the fridge and is relieved to see that there is at least some stuff in it. Not a lot, but enough so they won't starve anyway. She's trying to figure out what exactly they can eat, when she feels Nick lean in really close behind her.
"So what's the verdict?" he asks, his breath hot against the back of her neck, and the feeling of it makes her skin tingle all over.
Miley thinks it's really unfair the things that he can do to her without even trying.
"Um," she says, turning her head a little so that she can see his face. And god, he's even closer than she realized. "How do you feel about peanut butter and jelly?"
He laughs, and it tickles against her skin. "Still your culinary masterpiece? Yeah, sounds good."
She sticks her tongue out at him, and elbows him to make him back up. "Shut up, you know I make awesome PB&J's." She grabs the stuff she needs and closes the fridge, spreading her supplies out on the counter. She eyes Nick, who's leaning against the counter just watching her. "Want to help? Or am I supposed to be doing this for you?"
He grins at her and shuffles over to her side. "But Miles," he says, his voice filled with teasing. "I thought I was supposed to be on vacation. I mean, shouldn't you be waiting on me hand and foot?"
She shoots him a look that would make her mom proud, and he laughs.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He holds up his hands in surrender. "Just don't hurt me. I'm pretty sure if I show up in New York with an injury a week before our tour starts, my life wouldn't be worth living."
Miley laughs, because he's right, but also because Nick would probably kill himself if that happened. She passes him the jar of grape jelly and says, "Here, make yourself useful. Open that."
"I see how it is," he mutters, twisting at the top. "You're just using me for my muscles."
She bats her eyes at him. "And to kill bugs and stuff, yeah." She's relaxing a little finally. They've done this a thousand times before, okay, most of them were when they were still dating, but whatever. This easy kind of routine, laid back flirting, it's just nice. Comfortable.
"You're the country girl," he counters. "I was counting on you to kill the bugs." He hands her back the jar and she slathers the jelly on bread.
"Fine," she sighs. "But you have to reach things on tall shelves." She repeats the process with the peanut butter and slaps the sandwiches together. "Deal?"
"Deal." He grins at her, and she can't help but grin back. She could do this forever, be with him like this.
Which is a dangerous thought, and she needs to change the subject immediately. "Want to go sit on the dock and eat?" she suggests kind of desperately. "I haven't been out there yet."
He gives her a strange look, like he can see the panic in her eyes, but shrugs and says, "Okay."
They grab their food and some bottled water and head outside. They sit down at the end of the dock and fall into a comfortable silence. They're sitting hip to hip, and Miley's really grateful for the breeze off the ocean, which is cooling her skin everywhere Nick's not touching her. Things between them feel just a little bit too charged, like something could happen any minute and Miley's not sure if she'd want to stop it or jump in with both feet.
They finish eating, but stay where they are and watch the sun start its slow slide towards the horizon. Nick's arm finds its way around her shoulders and her head falls naturally to his shoulder. She's so at ease that her eyes start to fall shut, and she almost doesn't hear him speak.
"Miles?" he asks really softly.
She tilts her face up to look at him, the ever darkening sky blurring his features a little. "Yeah?"
"I'm glad you broke up with Justin."
She just kind of blinks at him in shock, because what did he just say? "What?" she finally manages to get out.
"I'm glad you broke up with Justin," he repeats, watching her carefully, like he's afraid of her reaction, and he should be. Who actually says things like that? You might think them, but you don't say them, especially not the day after it happened, and god, she is so mad at him right now.
She scoots away from him, so they're not touching anymore. She doesn't want him touching her right now. "Why would you say that?" she asks, her voice laced with hurt. She thought they were friends. Why would a friend want to see her in pain, and no matter how much she did or didn't feel for Justin, break-ups hurt. They both know that, they did it to each other.
He reaches for her, but pulls back when she leans away from his hand. "Miley, I didn't mean it like that," he sighs, rubbing his hands across his face in frustration.
"How did you mean it?" she demands. How many ways are there to mean something like that?
"I just - he wasn't good enough for you, okay? You could do better."
She can see that wasn't what he really meant to say, like it's a half truth meant to placate her, to make it better. But if he wants to have this conversation, they're damn well going to have this conversation. "And who says you get a say in who is good enough for me, Nicholas?" she demands, her voice coming out clipped and angry, and so not like herself that she almost doesn't recognize it.
His eyes flash and he gets angry right back. "Aren't friends supposed to care about each other like that? Care who the other person is dating?"
She thinks he might have a point, but she's not willing to let him know that. "Okay, so friend, who exactly would be good enough for me? If Justin wasn't, tell me, Nick, who would be?"
He's breathing kind of hard now, and there's panic on his face and she can see that he doesn't really want to answer her question. They just stare at each other, daring the other to take this further, to finish it, her words hanging in the air between them. And she thinks he's about to give up, to walk away, when he finally says, "Me, okay? Me."
She can't speak. All she can do is stare at him and try to understand what he just said. It's like it was in a language she doesn't understand, and no matter how hard she tries she can't make sense of it.
A thousand times before she'd imagined him coming to her, saying this, telling her that he wanted her back, but she'd never pictured this. She'd never thought they would be fighting when it happened, that she wouldn't know what to do, what to say.
She still loves him; she knows this. And she's pretty sure by the way that he's staring at her with something that might be desperation in his eyes, that he still loves her. But maybe that's not enough, it wasn't before and really what's changed?
She doesn't know how long she stares at him before he breaks and says, "Miley," in a voice that's part pleading, part prayer, and she does the only thing that she can.
She kisses him.
His lips part beneath hers and she sweeps her tongue against his, tasting him, savoring him. He tastes like peanut butter and grape jelly and something that's just purely Nick, something that she remembers from the thousands of kisses they've shared before. He tugs her into his lap, and she goes willingly, straddling his thighs and fisting her hands in his curls. He pulls her tighter against his chest, rubbing his fingers across a bare patch of skin on her back, and she can't help but let out a soft gasp.
Nick's hands on her skin have always been her undoing.
He presses kisses against her jaw and down her neck, and all she can do is arch her neck and tighten her grasp on his curls, holding him fast against her.
She feels his hands slip just under the hem of her shirt, and he breathes out her name like a question hot against her throat. She nods, giving him permission, and his hands slide across her back and stomach, stroking her skin. She feels like she's on fire everywhere he's touching her, and she needs desperately to have her hands on him, to make him feel what she's feeling.
Miley tugs his mouth back up to hers, biting at his lower lip, and she can't help but smile when he moans. She grabs greedily at handfuls of his shirt, tugging it upwards, relishing in the feeling of his skin under her hands as it's revealed inch by agonizing inch. Nick groans as he tears his mouth away from hers, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it blindly behind him.
He brings a hand up to cup her face, tracing over her jaw, her cheek, and she leans into the touch. "Miley," he says, voice sounding low and gravely, and she's never heard him sound like that. He's staring deep into her eyes, and she's not even sure how she's breathing. He's never looked at her like that before, no one's ever looked at her like that before, and she thinks she might explode from the way it makes her feel but she wants him to look at her like that forever.
She leans forward and captures his mouth with hers again, and it's an almost chaste kiss in comparison to the ones that came before. It's a pledge, it's a promise. One of his hands tangles in her hair and the other slips back under the cotton of her shirt, fingers teasing against the edge of her bra. She runs her hands across his bare chest, tracing flesh that is both familiar and not. She finally understands that he's grown and changed as much as she has, and she wants to learn his body all over again.
Her mother's voice suddenly echoes through the air, as she calls, "Miley?"
She freezes, hands stilling their exploration of Nick's skin. He pulls his hands out from under her shirt, grasping onto her waist and looking at her with panic, like her mom can see them through the dark.
Miley can feel herself blushing and is grateful for the cover of darkness. "Down here, Mom!" she answers. She climbs off Nick's lap and starts combing her fingers through her hair, trying to fix the worst of the damage, as if her mom's not going to be able to see what they were doing with one look. And god, what were they doing? What was that? What does it mean?
Her mother's voice cuts into her private panic. "Is Nick down there with you?"
Miley looks at Nick who is tugging his shirt back over his head, and trying to smooth out his tangled curls, and god, her mouth starts to water just looking at him. "Yes," she calls back, looking away, trying to get some control over herself.
"Hi Mrs. Cyrus," Nick calls out, and he stands, offering her his hand to help her to her feet.
She takes it warily, half expecting to be able feel sparks when they touch, and he pulls her to her feet. When she tries to pull her hand back, he twines their fingers together, and now she's even more confused. She wants to know what it means and she doesn't, and it's just too much to feel, too soon, and she can't deal with it right now.
"Miley," Nick says softly, and she hears him asking a question she's not ready to answer.
So she shakes her head. "Just - not tonight. Okay?"
He must hear the plea in her voice, because he squeezes her hand and then lets her go. "Okay." He nods his head towards the house. "Should we -"
"Yes," she says with relief. If they're with her mom, she'll at least be able to keep her hands off Nick. Which she doesn't really want to, but she needs to, because things are confused enough and she doesn't need to add anymore of what they just did to the mix.
No matter how badly she wants to.
Her mom is waiting for them in the kitchen, and Miley's never been so happy to see her before, even if her mom gives her a look that says that she knows what was just going on and that they'll be talking about it later. The three of them make idle chit chat for a few minutes, before her mom excuses herself to go call Noah and Braison, and suddenly she's alone with Nick again. Miley wants to call her mom back, to beg her to stay, to save her from herself, but she knows that she's being ridiculous.
She's leaning against one counter and he's leaning against another, and Nick keeps giving her these heated looks, and it's taking all the will power that she has not to take the two steps to cross the room and throw herself back into his arms. It would be so simple to do that, to give into what's always been so easy between them. Even when things had been bad, they'd always been able to connect like that, to put whatever stupid or not stupid thing they were fighting about aside and just kiss.
But she's older now and she knows that kissing isn't enough to make a relationship work, no matter how devastating the kisses are. It takes more than that, and if they're going to do this again, Miley needs to know that the more is there too.
She wants it to be there so badly it aches. Because she never thought she'd be able to kiss Nick like that again, and now that she has, she doesn't want to ever give it up.
She needs to think, but there's no way she can do that while Nick's standing there looking at her like that, and she doesn't care if she's being a coward, she needs to get away. "Look," she says, "Do you mind if we call it a night? I'm kind of exhausted." She fakes a yawn, trying not to exaggerate it and give it away, but the look on Nick's face makes it clear that he knows exactly what she's doing.
"Sure," he says. "What time do you have to be on set tomorrow?"
She bites her lip. "Actually, I don't. Have to be there, I mean."
Nick's face sort of lights up, and it makes her heart beat a little bit faster. "Really?" he asks, and she can tell he's trying not to sound too eager. Too bad for him that he's a pretty bad actor. But if he's that happy about it, then it has to mean something, right? She really doesn't want to get her hopes up.
"Yeah. It's all pre-production and I'm sure you don't care at all," she babbles, pushing off the counter and heading for the stairs. She can feel him trailing along behind her, and she wonders for a minute what it means that he's so willing to go along with whatever she wants. The old Nick wouldn't have done that. They reach the door of his bedroom and she comes to a stop outside his door. She looks up at him and smiles sort of nervously, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Well, good night, I guess." She wants to reach out and touch him, but she's not sure what the rules are in this new game, and she's terrified of doing something wrong.
He gives her a lopsided smile back and wraps his hand around her wrist, tugging her into his arms. He hugs her tightly and she lets herself relax into his arms for just a minute, because it feels so incredibly right and she can't hold out against that, no matter how much she knows that she should. "Good night, Miles," he says against her hair, and then he releases her, bending his head to kiss her cheek.
She can't help herself, she raises her hand to touch her cheek where he kissed her. Her skin is tingling and she stares blindly up at him, before turning and stumbling to her own room, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it.
She's not sure if she's ever been more confused in her life.
[Part 2]
Author: empressearwig
Pairing: Nick/Miley
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,000 for this part
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is all for fun. This didn’t happen. Etc.
Summary: Two weeks in June.
Authors Notes: I was going to finish this before I started posting, but then I realized just how long it was going to be and said screw it. Thanks to various people who read this against their will.
Miley loves Nick.
No matter what, no matter their relationship status, no matter whether they were feuding or friends, that one thing has remained the same. She's loved him since she was thirteen years old, and even if she could change that, she wouldn't.
She loves Nick. It's just the way it is.
But knowing that, accepting it, doesn't make living with it any easier.
*
When she breaks up with Justin, it's not really because of Nick.
Well, it sort of is. But she's pretty sure that Nick or no Nick, she and Justin wouldn't have lasted with her in Georgia all summer and then touring all fall. The fact that she and Nick had sort of been flirting for months, first over texts and then over the phone and eventually via video chatting, that just added to the reasons she and Justin wouldn't have worked. Because it's wrong to flirt that much with your ex-boyfriend while you have another one, especially if you're still kind of in love with your ex. Miley knows that.
But it's Nick. She's never really had the best judgment where he's concerned.
Justin doesn't believe her when she's says that she and Nick are just friends, and she can't blame him too much, not when the pictures from the video shoot have leaked all over the internet. Looking at them, she can see how someone would think that there was something going on, but really, they'd just been having fun. Friends are allowed to have fun together. And if every time Nick had touched her she'd felt a tingle on her skin, it didn't mean she'd actually have acted on it.
Miley doesn't cheat on her boyfriends. If Justin can't believe that, it's his problem.
She calls Nick later that night, after she performs, and while she's packing for Georgia. It's not that she thinks he'll really care that she broke up with Justin, she just wants someone to talk to. And she used to do this with Nick all the time, talk when one or both of them was getting ready to head off to where ever, so it's totally not a big deal that she's calling him now. In fact, it's normal. Maybe one of the most normal things she's done in months.
She waits impatiently for him to pick up, pacing the length of her bedroom. She tries to convince herself that it's not a big deal if he doesn't answer, he's busy and has his own life and it'll probably be easier to get ready if she's not distracted. But her heart skips a beat when he finally answers and she knows that she's lying to herself.
"Hey," he says, sounding sort of out of breath, like maybe he rushed to get to the phone. She won't let herself think that he might want to talk to her as much as she wants to talk to him.
"Hey," she says back, walking over to her closet and opening the doors.
"What's up?" he asks, and Miley can hear the sound of Elvis barking in the background. It sounds like a door closes and suddenly it's much quieter.
She sort of shrugs and pulls a suitcase down off a shelf. "Nothing. I'm trying to pack. How was your flight?"
"Fine. The usual. You know."
She smiles, because yeah, she does. "Yeah."
"So," he says, and she swears she can hear the smirk in his voice, "how was the benefit?"
Miley groans. How can that be on the internet already? "Fine. The usual. You know," she parrots back. It wasn't like she planned it, god, it just sort of happened. And it felt right, but that doesn't mean she wants Nick and the rest of the world to get ideas about what it means or anything.
Nick laughs, and the sound of it sends a tingle down her spine. "Miley, Miley, Miley."
"Nicholas."
"Something you want to tell me?" he teases. "About not hating me anymore perhaps?"
She sniffs. "I think I do hate you right now, actually." She flops down on her bed, holding the phone closer to her ear.
He laughs again. "You don't mean that."
She raises an eyebrow. "Want to bet?"
He's silent for a minute and she starts to worry that they got disconnected, but then Nick says really softly, "It meant something. Thank you."
"I meant it," she whispers back, and her heart is beating really fast. She listens to the steady evenness of Nick's breathing and tries to match her heartbeat to it.
They don't speak for what feels like forever, but it's not weird at all. It's nice, comforting. She just feels really safe and like they're connected, like she could tell him anything and it would be okay. Which is probably why she says, "I broke up with Justin," before she even realizes what she's doing.
Nick inhales sharply, and her heart starts speeding up again. "Yeah?" he asks, and she hears so many different things in that one word that she can't even begin to tell what he's thinking. She wishes she could see him, because she can always find it in his eyes, no matter how much he tries to hide.
She nods as though he can see her. "Yeah."
"You okay?"
It's a simple question, but there's not really a simple answer. Not with the way he asked, worry for her and carefully concealed interest all mixed together. Not with the way she's feeling, which is relieved and sad and kind of happy too.
She must take too long thinking about what to say, because Nick asks kind of anxiously, "Miley?" like he's worried that she's not okay or not there anymore and it makes her smile just a little. Because there was a time when he wouldn't have cared whether she was okay or not, that they wouldn't have been talking at all, and Miley's just happy that it's not like that anymore.
"I think I'm okay," she says, and it's the right answer, though she doesn't realize it till she's said it. It's nothing like what she felt when she and Nick broke up, like the world was over and all she wanted to do was pull the covers over her head and cry forever. She feels bad that she hurt Justin, and she's sad that they probably can't be friends anymore, but she knows that it's better this way even if it'd hard right now. And that makes it okay.
"Good."
Miley can hear about a million different meanings of that one word and she tries to ignore them all, because it's better that way. Simpler. So she tries to change the subject, to get things away from her. "So what are you doing with your last few days of freedom?"
There's a low chuckle, and she knows that he knows what she's doing. "I'm not sure," he says. "Just hanging out, I guess."
She gets up off her bed and walks over to her closet. She should at least pretend that she's trying to pack, probably. "That sounds so not like you."
"I can take a vacation," he protests.
She laughs. This is why she called him. Teasing Nick is one of the most fun things to do in the world and the fact that he lets her, well, that’s probably something she doesn't want to think about again. "Sure you can."
"Like you have any room to talk," he says pointedly.
"Hey, I went on vacation this spring." She starts pulling clothes out of her closet at random and dumping them into her suitcase. It’s a start at least. "How about you?"
"Didn't you perform a concert while on that vacation?"
"Deflection, nice try, Nicky." She smirks. "And have you been reading my press clippings or something?"
He laughs. "You think you're going to win this argument don't you?"
She grins. Baiting Nick's competitive side is so much damn fun. "I know I'm going to win this argument."
"You know I don't like to lose," he says, and his voice sounds lower and husky and it's like they've suddenly started having a completely different conversation.
She licks her lips unconsciously. "I do. But you're going to."
"How about I prove to you that I can take a vacation?"
There's something in his voice that's making her weak in the knees, like he's about to up the stakes in this game that they're playing, and she gives in, sinking to the floor, hoping it will ground her. "What did you have in mind?"
He takes a deep breath before speaking, and when he does Miley can hear the nerves in his voice, though he’s trying really hard to hide them. "Simple, I come visit you."
Her jaw drops and she splutters, "What?" because in a million years, she'd never have guessed that he would suggest that.
"You heard me," he says more confidently, and she knows that he's smirking on the other end of the line, because he knows that he just increased the odds of him winning. But really, how is she supposed to react to this?
"You want to come see me," she says slowly, stalling for time.
"Is that so hard to believe?" he teases, and it's completely obvious how much he's loving having the shoe on the other foot.
It kind of is that hard to believe, but it's kind of not too, and god, why can't she think? She needs to say something, anything, and she knows Nick must be laughing so hard, because he's actually made her speechless.
And sure enough, he's laughing as he says, "Miles, you still there?" when she doesn't answer.
"Yes," she says as quickly as she can and hopes it doesn't come out really breathy.
"Yes?"
She nods. So what if it's crazy and probably a bad idea, now that he's suggested it she wants to see him in the worst way. "Yes."
There's a pause and then he says, kind of nervously, "Um, Miles? We are talking about the same thing, right?"
And she suddenly feels so much better, because the Nick she loves best is the Nick that's like this: a little bit awkward, a little bit unsure, just Nick. When he's like this, it's like he's more hers, because he doesn't let many people see him this way. "I don't know, Nicholas, what do you think I was talking about?"
She can practically hear him narrowing his eyes at her. "Don't play games with me, Destiny Hope."
"You started it," she retorts, cause yeah, he did.
"I did not."
"Did so."
"Did not - look, do you want me to come visit you or not?" As he asks he doesn't sound frustrated like she thought he would, he sounds nervous, like he's worried that she doesn't want it.
So she stops teasing him. "Yes. I do."
He takes a quick breath in. "Yeah?"
She smiles, because he sounds as happy as she feels. "Yeah."
"Okay," he says. And she thinks that maybe he's saying something more, but she's not sure she wants to know.
There's a knock at her door and she calls out, "Come in!"
Her mom sticks her head in the door and asks, "How's the packing coming?"
Miley looks at the pile of clothes in her suitcase and then back at her mom and says, "It's coming?"
"Well, maybe you should hang up the phone and actually pack," her mom suggest mildly.
Miley wrinkles her nose and sighs. "Fine."
Her mom laughs and closes the door again and Miley says into the phone, "Did you hear that?"
Nick laughs. "Have I been distracting you, Miles?"
She rolls her eyes. "You? Never."
He says, "We'll see about that," and his voice sounds really husky again and it kind of sends a shiver down her spine.
"If you say so." She tries to keep her voice light, like he's not getting to her in ways that he shouldn't be, but he's Nick and he knows her better than almost anyone so she's sure he can tell. And is enjoying it. "Look, I probably should go."
"Yeah," he agrees. "I'll call you later about setting things up, okay?"
"Okay." And it's finally sinking in that this is really going to happen. "Bye, Nick."
"Bye, Miley."
She waits for him to hang up first, and then ends the call. She falls backward so she's flat on her back on the floor. Her heart is beating about a million miles a second, and there's a fluttering in her stomach, and she just feels really happy. She thinks that it's probably not normal to feel like this after a break up, but she can't think about Justin at all. Her mind is too full of Nick and what he said and what he didn't say and the fact that he's coming to see her in Savannah.
Nick's coming to see her in Savannah.
*
The first night in Savannah is harder than Miley thought it would be.
It’s not home and she misses Justin more than she thought she would now that she’s so far away, and even though she’s more excited that she wants to admit about Nick coming to visit the next day, it doesn’t change the fact that for the moment she’s alone. She just really hates being alone.
She keeps her phone next to her in bed all night, and sends texts almost at random to anyone that she thinks will be awake, will text her back. She finally falls asleep with her phone still in her hand after Nick texts her at 2 am, saying sleep miley. be there soon. Seeing it in black and white like that makes it real. She holds onto that like a lifeline and her dreams are filled with memories of being fourteen and so in love that she couldn’t think straight.
She has to be up early for work the next morning, which is almost a relief, because it’s something to do to fill up her head. Maybe she won’t think so much about Justin or about Nick for a little while.
And it sort of works, she almost loses herself in finding out what Ronnie’s going to look like. Its fun having her hair and makeup fussed with, to become someone else. Being herself is too hard.
But then she gets a text from Justin and he wants her to reconsider, to take it back, and god, part of her really does want to. It would be so easy to do just that, but Miley knows that wouldn’t be fair. Not fair to her, not fair to him. Not fair to Nick, though she’s not even sure she should be thinking about that. Maybe all she and Nick are is just friends.
The nagging voice in her head won’t stop asking would he be coming to visit her if they were just friends.
She finishes on set early in the afternoon and Nick’s not getting there until early evening, so when one of her new cast mates asks if she wants to go jet skiing she jumps at it. Anything to fill up the hours. And she’s always loved being out on the water, there’s something about it that she finds exhilarating, like if she goes fast enough nothing will be able to stop her. She’s invincible.
She really needs to feel like that right now.
It works, too. When she gets home from jet skiing, her mind feels clear and she feels like she can handle things better. She showers, rinsing the salt water out of her hair and off her skin, and tries to not think too much about the fact that Nick is going to be here any time now, because she knows that she’ll lose this new found balance the minute she sees him and she wants to hold onto it while she can. Needs to hold onto it while she can.
She stands in front of the closet that's not really hers and only half unpacked and agonizes. She wishes there was a manual for this, something called "How to Look Like You're Not Trying to Impress Your Ex-boyfriend Who Might Not Stay That Way, While Also Still Looking Cute." Because she is a girl. She always wants to look cute, and if Nick happens to notice that, well then that's not her fault. But she's not trying to impress him, not at all.
Her phone vibrates on her bed, and she turns away from her closet in relief. She sees that it's from Nick and her heart starts racing in a way that she wishes it wouldn't, because she doesn't want to know what it means. She opens the text and sees be there in 10. cant wait. She grins sort of foolishly at her phone, because yeah, she can't wait either and then realizes that she's out of time to make decisions that shouldn't matter so much. She throws on the closest shorts and t-shirt she can find and bundles her still wet hair on top of her head in a sloppy bun. When she looks at herself in the mirror she laughs, because she's a mess and Nick's reaction to that will probably be more telling than anything else.
The boy does not like messes. But she's never been anything but at her core, and he loved her anyway.
She sort of hopes that's still true.
She's running down the stairs when she hears the car pull up outside, and she can't help herself, she races to the front door and opens it before he can even make it all the way up the walk. And god, if she thought her heart was racing before, it's worse now, it feels like it's about to beat out of her chest. He's just - he's Nick. She saw him two days ago, but he looks older somehow. There's a determined set to his shoulders that she recognizes, and it sends a shiver down her spine, because what if the thing that he's so determined about is her?
She gives into impulse and runs down the steps to intercept him. He grins when he notices her coming, and the sight of Nick full out grinning isn't something anyone sees every day and she feels so lucky it's for her. He drops his bag and guitar case to the ground and catches her when she launches herself at him, squeezing her so tightly to his chest that she can't breathe, but she doesn't care. If she could stay like this forever, she'd gladly give up oxygen.
She buries her head in the space between his shoulder and his neck, and it feels so good to be like this. There was a time when Nick's arms felt like the safest place in the world, and this feels like that all over again.
Nick drops a kiss on the top of her head and sets her back on her feet. "It's nice to see you too, Miles," he teases with a smirk on his face.
She swats at his arm lightly and rolls her eyes at him. "Shut up."
He laughs, and it's the best sound that she's heard all day. "Real original." He bends down to pick up his belongings, blocking her when she tries to help. "I got it."
"You just don't trust me with your guitar," she says as they head up the driveway. They fall into step immediately, like they do this every day, and Miley can't help but wonder if suddenly the clock turned back two years. She sneaks a glance at his profile and tries not to think about whether or not he's noticed too.
He looks sort of sheepish at her accusation, because he can't very well deny it. Nick doesn't trust anyone with his guitars. "Well, yeah," he admits, and she has to laugh. God, how did she go a year without having this kind of easy knowing in her life? No matter what, she's not living without it again. She can't. It's too important.
"Shut up," he says, bumping her with his hip.
She can't help it, she has to say it. "Real original," she teases back, and the look that he gives her makes it totally worth it.
They're finally inside the house, and he drops his things to the floor with a thump, toeing out of his converse. "Is this what it's going to be like the entire time I'm here?" he demands. "Because I'm not sure that really qualifies as a vacation then..."
"You wouldn't have it any other way and you know it." She grins at him, and it's taking all her self control to not reach out and touch him. She tries to tell herself that she just wants to make sure he's real, but she knows that would be a lie.
Something changes in his eyes, and his voice sounds lower as he says, "No, I wouldn't."
She shivers even though it's anything but cold, and she has to look away. Suddenly she thinks they're talking about something completely different and it's not a conversation she's ready to have. "So, you want to drop your stuff in your room?" she asks, desperate for a safe topic, which, bedrooms probably aren't, now that she thinks about it.
Nick nods, and picks his things up again. She grabs him by the hand and leads him up the stairs, stopping at the empty bedroom next to hers. She hovers outside the door while Nick throws his bag on the bed and sets his guitar down on the floor.
He turns back to face her, and the reality that he's here, that he's staying, hits her again. "So do I get to see your room?" he asks, stretching his arms over his head, like he's still stiff from the flight.
Miley doesn't notice the strip of skin that appears between his jeans and his shirt. Not at all.
"Um, sure," she says, trying to keep her voice normal sounding. She nods her head to the right. "It's just next door."
"Show me," he says, and that thing is back in his eyes, and Miley walks blindly down the hall to her own room, feeling him close behind her.
She flips on the lights and gestures expansively at the room which is filled with the evidence that she hasn't come anywhere near finishing her unpacking. "This is it," she says, and she bites her lip. She feels like nothing is coming out right, like everything they're saying can mean multiple things and she doesn't know which it is.
Nick looks around the room, nodding his head, like what she's said actually matters. She watches him and wishes that she knew what he was thinking. She's probably overreacting, and acting like a girl, and god, she needs to stop.
"So this is home for the next two months," he says as he picks his way through the mess on the floor, flopping down on the bed. "Not bad, Miles, not bad at all."
She has to laugh, because he sounds ridiculous, but the sight of him on her bed, well, that kind of makes her want to do other things, so she stays rooted to the floor where she is. It's safer that way. "Adding real estate inspector to your list of future career possibilities, Nicky?" she teases, striving for the safe, easy ground.
"A guy's got to have a hobby," he counters.
She rolls her eyes at him, because really what else is she supposed to do?
He laughs, and pats the bed next to him. "What, am I going to bite or something? Come here."
She sort of panics, because that's kind of freakishly close to what she's trying not to think about, and blurts out, "Bite. Are you hungry? Because I'm hungry. I haven't had dinner yet, have you?"
Nick just smirks at her, and she really wants to hit him right now, but touching him at all is probably a bad idea. "Am I making you nervous or something, Miley?"
She can feel the blush rising on her cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about."
He has the audacity to laugh, but he stands up and walks over to her obediently. "I could eat. Probably should eat, actually."
She frowns. "When's the last time you checked your levels? The bathroom is right through there if you -"
Nick reaches out and squeezes her hand. "I'm fine, I promise." He lets go, and she tries to ignore that she's disappointed that he did. "So you want to get dinner?"
"Right, dinner." She frowns again as something occurs to her. Do they even have any food? Her mom's been in meetings all day and she's not sure they had anyone stock the kitchen or anything. "About that..."
He raises his eyebrows at her. "Yes?"
"I'm not sure that we actually have food," she admits sheepishly. She sees Nick open his mouth to speak and holds up a hand to cut him off. "Don't even think about it, Nicholas."
"What," he protests, eyes laughing at her, even if he's managed to not actually laugh. "I wasn't going to say anything."
"Sure you weren't," she mutters. She grabs his hand and leads him back down the stairs. "Whatever, we'll just have to investigate."
They get to the kitchen, and she opens the fridge and is relieved to see that there is at least some stuff in it. Not a lot, but enough so they won't starve anyway. She's trying to figure out what exactly they can eat, when she feels Nick lean in really close behind her.
"So what's the verdict?" he asks, his breath hot against the back of her neck, and the feeling of it makes her skin tingle all over.
Miley thinks it's really unfair the things that he can do to her without even trying.
"Um," she says, turning her head a little so that she can see his face. And god, he's even closer than she realized. "How do you feel about peanut butter and jelly?"
He laughs, and it tickles against her skin. "Still your culinary masterpiece? Yeah, sounds good."
She sticks her tongue out at him, and elbows him to make him back up. "Shut up, you know I make awesome PB&J's." She grabs the stuff she needs and closes the fridge, spreading her supplies out on the counter. She eyes Nick, who's leaning against the counter just watching her. "Want to help? Or am I supposed to be doing this for you?"
He grins at her and shuffles over to her side. "But Miles," he says, his voice filled with teasing. "I thought I was supposed to be on vacation. I mean, shouldn't you be waiting on me hand and foot?"
She shoots him a look that would make her mom proud, and he laughs.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He holds up his hands in surrender. "Just don't hurt me. I'm pretty sure if I show up in New York with an injury a week before our tour starts, my life wouldn't be worth living."
Miley laughs, because he's right, but also because Nick would probably kill himself if that happened. She passes him the jar of grape jelly and says, "Here, make yourself useful. Open that."
"I see how it is," he mutters, twisting at the top. "You're just using me for my muscles."
She bats her eyes at him. "And to kill bugs and stuff, yeah." She's relaxing a little finally. They've done this a thousand times before, okay, most of them were when they were still dating, but whatever. This easy kind of routine, laid back flirting, it's just nice. Comfortable.
"You're the country girl," he counters. "I was counting on you to kill the bugs." He hands her back the jar and she slathers the jelly on bread.
"Fine," she sighs. "But you have to reach things on tall shelves." She repeats the process with the peanut butter and slaps the sandwiches together. "Deal?"
"Deal." He grins at her, and she can't help but grin back. She could do this forever, be with him like this.
Which is a dangerous thought, and she needs to change the subject immediately. "Want to go sit on the dock and eat?" she suggests kind of desperately. "I haven't been out there yet."
He gives her a strange look, like he can see the panic in her eyes, but shrugs and says, "Okay."
They grab their food and some bottled water and head outside. They sit down at the end of the dock and fall into a comfortable silence. They're sitting hip to hip, and Miley's really grateful for the breeze off the ocean, which is cooling her skin everywhere Nick's not touching her. Things between them feel just a little bit too charged, like something could happen any minute and Miley's not sure if she'd want to stop it or jump in with both feet.
They finish eating, but stay where they are and watch the sun start its slow slide towards the horizon. Nick's arm finds its way around her shoulders and her head falls naturally to his shoulder. She's so at ease that her eyes start to fall shut, and she almost doesn't hear him speak.
"Miles?" he asks really softly.
She tilts her face up to look at him, the ever darkening sky blurring his features a little. "Yeah?"
"I'm glad you broke up with Justin."
She just kind of blinks at him in shock, because what did he just say? "What?" she finally manages to get out.
"I'm glad you broke up with Justin," he repeats, watching her carefully, like he's afraid of her reaction, and he should be. Who actually says things like that? You might think them, but you don't say them, especially not the day after it happened, and god, she is so mad at him right now.
She scoots away from him, so they're not touching anymore. She doesn't want him touching her right now. "Why would you say that?" she asks, her voice laced with hurt. She thought they were friends. Why would a friend want to see her in pain, and no matter how much she did or didn't feel for Justin, break-ups hurt. They both know that, they did it to each other.
He reaches for her, but pulls back when she leans away from his hand. "Miley, I didn't mean it like that," he sighs, rubbing his hands across his face in frustration.
"How did you mean it?" she demands. How many ways are there to mean something like that?
"I just - he wasn't good enough for you, okay? You could do better."
She can see that wasn't what he really meant to say, like it's a half truth meant to placate her, to make it better. But if he wants to have this conversation, they're damn well going to have this conversation. "And who says you get a say in who is good enough for me, Nicholas?" she demands, her voice coming out clipped and angry, and so not like herself that she almost doesn't recognize it.
His eyes flash and he gets angry right back. "Aren't friends supposed to care about each other like that? Care who the other person is dating?"
She thinks he might have a point, but she's not willing to let him know that. "Okay, so friend, who exactly would be good enough for me? If Justin wasn't, tell me, Nick, who would be?"
He's breathing kind of hard now, and there's panic on his face and she can see that he doesn't really want to answer her question. They just stare at each other, daring the other to take this further, to finish it, her words hanging in the air between them. And she thinks he's about to give up, to walk away, when he finally says, "Me, okay? Me."
She can't speak. All she can do is stare at him and try to understand what he just said. It's like it was in a language she doesn't understand, and no matter how hard she tries she can't make sense of it.
A thousand times before she'd imagined him coming to her, saying this, telling her that he wanted her back, but she'd never pictured this. She'd never thought they would be fighting when it happened, that she wouldn't know what to do, what to say.
She still loves him; she knows this. And she's pretty sure by the way that he's staring at her with something that might be desperation in his eyes, that he still loves her. But maybe that's not enough, it wasn't before and really what's changed?
She doesn't know how long she stares at him before he breaks and says, "Miley," in a voice that's part pleading, part prayer, and she does the only thing that she can.
She kisses him.
His lips part beneath hers and she sweeps her tongue against his, tasting him, savoring him. He tastes like peanut butter and grape jelly and something that's just purely Nick, something that she remembers from the thousands of kisses they've shared before. He tugs her into his lap, and she goes willingly, straddling his thighs and fisting her hands in his curls. He pulls her tighter against his chest, rubbing his fingers across a bare patch of skin on her back, and she can't help but let out a soft gasp.
Nick's hands on her skin have always been her undoing.
He presses kisses against her jaw and down her neck, and all she can do is arch her neck and tighten her grasp on his curls, holding him fast against her.
She feels his hands slip just under the hem of her shirt, and he breathes out her name like a question hot against her throat. She nods, giving him permission, and his hands slide across her back and stomach, stroking her skin. She feels like she's on fire everywhere he's touching her, and she needs desperately to have her hands on him, to make him feel what she's feeling.
Miley tugs his mouth back up to hers, biting at his lower lip, and she can't help but smile when he moans. She grabs greedily at handfuls of his shirt, tugging it upwards, relishing in the feeling of his skin under her hands as it's revealed inch by agonizing inch. Nick groans as he tears his mouth away from hers, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it blindly behind him.
He brings a hand up to cup her face, tracing over her jaw, her cheek, and she leans into the touch. "Miley," he says, voice sounding low and gravely, and she's never heard him sound like that. He's staring deep into her eyes, and she's not even sure how she's breathing. He's never looked at her like that before, no one's ever looked at her like that before, and she thinks she might explode from the way it makes her feel but she wants him to look at her like that forever.
She leans forward and captures his mouth with hers again, and it's an almost chaste kiss in comparison to the ones that came before. It's a pledge, it's a promise. One of his hands tangles in her hair and the other slips back under the cotton of her shirt, fingers teasing against the edge of her bra. She runs her hands across his bare chest, tracing flesh that is both familiar and not. She finally understands that he's grown and changed as much as she has, and she wants to learn his body all over again.
Her mother's voice suddenly echoes through the air, as she calls, "Miley?"
She freezes, hands stilling their exploration of Nick's skin. He pulls his hands out from under her shirt, grasping onto her waist and looking at her with panic, like her mom can see them through the dark.
Miley can feel herself blushing and is grateful for the cover of darkness. "Down here, Mom!" she answers. She climbs off Nick's lap and starts combing her fingers through her hair, trying to fix the worst of the damage, as if her mom's not going to be able to see what they were doing with one look. And god, what were they doing? What was that? What does it mean?
Her mother's voice cuts into her private panic. "Is Nick down there with you?"
Miley looks at Nick who is tugging his shirt back over his head, and trying to smooth out his tangled curls, and god, her mouth starts to water just looking at him. "Yes," she calls back, looking away, trying to get some control over herself.
"Hi Mrs. Cyrus," Nick calls out, and he stands, offering her his hand to help her to her feet.
She takes it warily, half expecting to be able feel sparks when they touch, and he pulls her to her feet. When she tries to pull her hand back, he twines their fingers together, and now she's even more confused. She wants to know what it means and she doesn't, and it's just too much to feel, too soon, and she can't deal with it right now.
"Miley," Nick says softly, and she hears him asking a question she's not ready to answer.
So she shakes her head. "Just - not tonight. Okay?"
He must hear the plea in her voice, because he squeezes her hand and then lets her go. "Okay." He nods his head towards the house. "Should we -"
"Yes," she says with relief. If they're with her mom, she'll at least be able to keep her hands off Nick. Which she doesn't really want to, but she needs to, because things are confused enough and she doesn't need to add anymore of what they just did to the mix.
No matter how badly she wants to.
Her mom is waiting for them in the kitchen, and Miley's never been so happy to see her before, even if her mom gives her a look that says that she knows what was just going on and that they'll be talking about it later. The three of them make idle chit chat for a few minutes, before her mom excuses herself to go call Noah and Braison, and suddenly she's alone with Nick again. Miley wants to call her mom back, to beg her to stay, to save her from herself, but she knows that she's being ridiculous.
She's leaning against one counter and he's leaning against another, and Nick keeps giving her these heated looks, and it's taking all the will power that she has not to take the two steps to cross the room and throw herself back into his arms. It would be so simple to do that, to give into what's always been so easy between them. Even when things had been bad, they'd always been able to connect like that, to put whatever stupid or not stupid thing they were fighting about aside and just kiss.
But she's older now and she knows that kissing isn't enough to make a relationship work, no matter how devastating the kisses are. It takes more than that, and if they're going to do this again, Miley needs to know that the more is there too.
She wants it to be there so badly it aches. Because she never thought she'd be able to kiss Nick like that again, and now that she has, she doesn't want to ever give it up.
She needs to think, but there's no way she can do that while Nick's standing there looking at her like that, and she doesn't care if she's being a coward, she needs to get away. "Look," she says, "Do you mind if we call it a night? I'm kind of exhausted." She fakes a yawn, trying not to exaggerate it and give it away, but the look on Nick's face makes it clear that he knows exactly what she's doing.
"Sure," he says. "What time do you have to be on set tomorrow?"
She bites her lip. "Actually, I don't. Have to be there, I mean."
Nick's face sort of lights up, and it makes her heart beat a little bit faster. "Really?" he asks, and she can tell he's trying not to sound too eager. Too bad for him that he's a pretty bad actor. But if he's that happy about it, then it has to mean something, right? She really doesn't want to get her hopes up.
"Yeah. It's all pre-production and I'm sure you don't care at all," she babbles, pushing off the counter and heading for the stairs. She can feel him trailing along behind her, and she wonders for a minute what it means that he's so willing to go along with whatever she wants. The old Nick wouldn't have done that. They reach the door of his bedroom and she comes to a stop outside his door. She looks up at him and smiles sort of nervously, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Well, good night, I guess." She wants to reach out and touch him, but she's not sure what the rules are in this new game, and she's terrified of doing something wrong.
He gives her a lopsided smile back and wraps his hand around her wrist, tugging her into his arms. He hugs her tightly and she lets herself relax into his arms for just a minute, because it feels so incredibly right and she can't hold out against that, no matter how much she knows that she should. "Good night, Miles," he says against her hair, and then he releases her, bending his head to kiss her cheek.
She can't help herself, she raises her hand to touch her cheek where he kissed her. Her skin is tingling and she stares blindly up at him, before turning and stumbling to her own room, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it.
She's not sure if she's ever been more confused in her life.
[Part 2]