Change of gears

Jul 03, 2008 08:27

I've been having insomnia lately, and once more my thoughts turned to my online presence. I have been unhappy with it lately, and am slowly realizing why. I've said some of this before ( Read more... )

myself, philosophy

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Comments 17

merxyn July 3 2008, 14:39:04 UTC
Earthscorch, buddy, one piece of unsolicited advice: STOP defining your self-worth by the amount of attention you receive from the outside world. I mean that with all due respect.

-Scott

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earthscorch July 4 2008, 02:48:48 UTC
Here, advice is always solicited! I don't define my self-worth according to anyone else's opinion, though I do take dissenting views seriously. I've always been socially awkward. Too socially awkward to fit in on a Transformers MUSH, it seems. How lame is that? ;) Ha! Got too wrapped up on my online life and started to think it was real. That's my real point...

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merxyn July 4 2008, 04:50:39 UTC
> I don't define my self-worth according to anyone else's opinion
I didn't say you did :). I said you did through the amount of attention you receive. There's a big difference. Of course, all this is only my own observation :). I could be wrong...

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earthscorch July 4 2008, 09:51:42 UTC
I'm really a very anti-social person, normally. I had so many people I talked to on here initially that I thought there would be much more exchange of words, though. I love a good discussion, so it's very disappointing to me that it hasn't turned out that way, and I've spent way too much energy trying to change that! I can totally see where you got that idea, though. It sort of has turned into an obsession, and this post is partly me denouncing it. I already felt much more lose and natural on 2k5 today...

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flying_landon July 3 2008, 20:17:42 UTC
Interesting question.

Am I your friend? Yes, no, Maybe? That's a tough call. I think honestly, no. Why? Because we have interaction, except through here, and that's pretty limited. That would make us more of acquaintances, which I'm sure I just spelled wrong. More like two people of the office who talk a lot on break or over a cubicle wall.

Do I think if we lived near each other would we hang out and such, and become friends? Definately possible. Except for magic. I wouldn't go play magic.

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earthscorch July 4 2008, 02:51:17 UTC
Nobody plays Magic with me anymore. It's total crap! ;)

Your honesty counts for something, eh? I trust you more than a lot of people, because of your frank responses. :)

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flying_landon July 4 2008, 12:14:40 UTC
Well, with me it's sort of a thing against TCGs, really. They're fun, but it's the never ending collecting of them you have to do I'm not keen to.

And I didn't mean what I said as a bad thing really. I do have friends on line, but it's the people that I do stuff with on a regular basis. Like, in WoW have people I consider friends cause I'm gaming with them, constantly talking with them, etc. Were we hanging out in the same enviroment where we did stuff aside from occasional small, but interesting, discussions...

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monzo July 4 2008, 14:40:57 UTC
Which brings me to this blog. I have been trying to use it to create discussions and debates, and I've used many ploys to lure people into responding to me, but I am overwhelmingly met with silence. As I told Flem on 2k5, 'I wanted my LJ to be like a message board where I can talk about things of interest to me to my friends, but it's more like I'm a crazy guy on a street corner jabbering to himself.' Well... with me in specific, I've been kinda falling off LiveJournal. But at the same time, I think that was an unrealistic expectation on your part. At any given time, message boards have over a dozen threads going on various topics related to a single subject. Since a single person can only produce so much content - and in your case, on a myriad of varied topics - well, that's simply going to cause a high attrition level in terms of readership and response ( ... )

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earthscorch July 5 2008, 10:58:59 UTC
Whew, long response. I appreciate it. I enjoy analytical reviews. I'm not TOO worried about 2k5 memory talk. It comes up sometimes and I enjoy it when it does. I remember you were pretty much phasing out when I started. I think that's a fair thing to say. Your RP was fine, but I had more fun chatting with you about linking Hasbro and weird old DC covers and oddities from Transformers and stuff. ;) If you read my journal you know I tend to list you high up among people who brought me good times, so I certainly considered you a friend. I don't see our current distance changing, but I think we have a fairly comfortable thing going now, so I can't complain, though I'd like to see you make LJ posts more often. I was glad to find you on here, as one of my main goals was to keep from drifting completely apart from people like you and Z and DreadTread. On that count, this LJ has been a rousing success!

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lunatron July 4 2008, 15:47:39 UTC
To be honest, I'm not sure I can call you a friend. An acquaintance, to be sure, but I don't really know you. You're pleasant enough to chat with, and you're generally friendly and helpful.

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earthscorch July 5 2008, 10:52:23 UTC
I'm glad to hear you say that, actually. When you don't reply to me, it makes me paranoid that I've offended you somehow, though, even though you've assured me it isn't my fault before. Friendly and helpful and someone pleasant to chat with isn't bad at all! ;)

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(The comment has been removed)

earthscorch July 9 2008, 23:22:40 UTC
I'm glad you haven't thought to ask Cookie!

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