Comments | dyvinesweetness: Bringing up baby

dyvinesweetness

Bringing up baby

Sep 08, 2009 13:07

Poll Child Rearin'

ETA: For the sake of avoiding discrepancies over my wording, assume by "beat" I mean "corporal punishment" or "physical discipline." To be clear, all of my friends that were "spanked"/"whooped"/etc used all three terms interchangeably. My use of "beat" is not a commentary on the act. If anything, it's just reflective of how the word is/was used ( Read more... )

parenting, polls

Comments 44

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dyvinesweetness September 8 2009, 17:52:04 UTC

"I think your poll presents a false image, given that a lot of parents that spank (and I'm one) don't go to it as a first resort."

The poll makes no remarks about whether it's a first or last resort because the idea is to understand if people use it at all. The wording isn't intended to denote whether it's used often or infrequent, merely if it is used at all. No assumptions are made (neither in the wording of the poll nor in my mind when I made the poll) about whether other tactics are used. And that's only because that wasn't the point of the poll. Not because of an image I'm trying to make about parent that do.

"And yes, I do believe that there are some kids who simply won't get it until corporal punishment."

Well, we disagree then.

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dyvinesweetness September 8 2009, 18:02:19 UTC

No, I honestly do not. I always heard beat and spanked used interchangeably. My friends that were "spanked"/"whooped"/"beat"/etc always used all of those words as frequently as the others. And never differentiated one from the next. Again, nothing in my wording was to lead anyone to feel anyway about any of it. That's partially why I put my thoughts behind a cut.

Thread 10

bellarisa September 8 2009, 17:43:15 UTC

I was beaten, and as much as I loved my mother I don't like the horrible thoughts I had about her because of the beatings. Not to sound dramatic, but there's a dark, dark place inside me because of those beatings that scares me to this day. I don't even want my daughters to feel that way about me, to have that hate for me, even for a minute. And frankly the idea of hitting my kids the way I was hit honestly makes me nauseous; I used to have dreams about my oldest being beaten instead of me and I'd wake up crying (my poor husband...)

EDIT: after reading Karnythia's post, let me add that I don't consider the occasion swats to the rear end to be a big deal; I don't do it but my kids are half-hobbit and so mellow they never need it. It's whippings with a belt, the kid that leave marks all over your body and make you feel less than a dog, that I'm talking about.

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bellarisa September 8 2009, 18:16:00 UTC

There's a gin-normous gap between the belt dipped in water, chase-you-around and-beat-you-like-a-wild-animal whippings I went through and a few good swats on the behind.

yup captain_brad September 8 2009, 20:03:50 UTC

My mom spanked me a handful of times. My dad beat me, pretty harshly, on a regular basis.

forwhataim September 8 2009, 17:54:04 UTC

Define "beat"

dyvinesweetness September 8 2009, 18:03:59 UTC

In my experience beat/whoopin/spanking were all used interchangeably. But I guess you can assume I mean "physical discipline" or "corporal punishment." That's what I was getting at.

forwhataim September 8 2009, 18:26:30 UTC

I'm just curious because I didn't receive one type of physical punishment and I don't view them all as the same. I was physically disciplined by several family members. Some popped me with their hand on my hand, some pinched me, some swatted me on my behind with their hand, and on rare occasions I was hit with a belt or switch (from a plant) on my legs/behind.

Does all of this fall under "beat" for you?

Just to vent... bellarisa September 8 2009, 18:44:26 UTC

Can I just say that I **hate** being pinched, to me it hurts worse than being hit and makes me FURIOUS; my mother didn't pinch but others have and I'm still stabbity just thinking about it...

a_f_r_i_k_a_n_a September 8 2009, 18:56:35 UTC

my mother spanked me with a belt probably like a handful of times...my granny hit me with a switch maybe 2-3 times. i do honestly think that can be appropriate for children under age 4-5, or whatever age where a child may be too young to really be reasoned with and you just need them to stop whatever it is their doing. and i don't mean a "beating" but just a few hits to sting. i'm not saying that's the only way to discipline young children but to me, this could be an acceptable way.

i guess i have a loosely held theory that at young ages the parent has to establish dominance/authority over the child or something. i dunno.

but 10 year olds getting whooped is ridiculous to me.

there's just so many levels to what discipline is supposed to do...

forwhataim September 8 2009, 20:35:17 UTC

I second this age limit thing. My memory doesn't start before 4 really. And I think my family pretty much followed this so what physical punishment I did receive in my memory is few and far between because as I got older discipline went from words and physical, to the threat of physical, to just words and taking away stuff.

a_f_r_i_k_a_n_a September 8 2009, 20:42:32 UTC

i have this 1 example where me and my cousin were about 8 or 9...my mom had left us alone at the dinner table and we decided to see how our food would taste if we poured cranberry juice on it. LOL. i think it was some kinda beef, peas, and mashed potatoes (That's how vidily i remember this) it was nasty. my mom came back in the room and told us we either had to eat the food or get a spanking for wasting so much food and juice. best BELIEVE i ate it aaaaall up. my cousin wouldn't even attempt to, so she got a spanking ( ... )