Self-Love

[dyvinesweetness]

So I figured I'd try to have a frank, open, MATURE *ahem!* discussion about masturbation. Specifically (more on) why I wanted to do this "experiment" and some religious aspects that I happened upon on the internets

Comments

[idoto]

all that humping talk made me want to squirt in her teeth.

[idoto]

try to aim between the gaps

[dyvinesweetness]

So, all my talk about having a mature conversation...??

[idoto]

GIRL, I'M ME!!

[beginnings_end]

Interesting videos. The first girl seemed to really have a problem with it, so if turning to God helps her from hurting herself, no it's not a bad thing. It does make me sad that she has so much shame behind it, but if it was such a problem, it makes sense.

When I was about 8 my mom got pregnant with my sister and read "Where did I come from?" to me, explaining that sex is a good, healthy thing. In the meantime, my paternal Grandma spent much of her own youth in nudist camps and told me never to be ashamed of my body. I vaguely remember her showing me Playgirl magazines. So I think I had a pretty healthy sexual upbringing. I never felt any urges until I was about 12, so having them at 4 is kind of mind-blowing. Sure I never wanted to get caught, but I was never addicted to it either.

But, yeah I think upbringing has a lot to do with the attitudes we form as adults.

[dyvinesweetness]

"It does make me sad that she has so much shame behind it, but if it was such a problem, it makes sense. "

Yeah, what's also upsetting to me is that she seemed to be assuming her shame was God telling her what she was doing was wrong. And had no acknowledment that her shame was about the context masturbation had for her and how others had led her to feel that pleasuring herself was wrong and sinful. I do wonder what her sex life will be like when/if she ever gets married. again because she referred to the orgasm as a high I wonder if pleasureful sex will still be shameful and difficult for her. But who knows?

"I never felt any urges until I was about 12, so having them at 4 is kind of mind-blowing"

I had urges as young as... I think 6, maybe 7. According to the second video fetuses are masturbating in-utero so it seems like the feelings are always there we just feel and act on them at different moments.

"But, yeah I think upbringing has a lot to do with the attitudes we form as adults."

Definitely.

[moneda]

Memories that amuse me

[dyvinesweetness]

"...I will have had multiple discussions with him or her about sexuality."

This is a good point, too. People are so afraid of discussing sex(uality) that discussing sex with your child is framed as "the talk." As if you can sit with a kid one time and wrap up ALL they would need to know in a bow in one awkward, haphazard 2 minute conversation. Throw some condoms at them and you're done. lol And furthermore, as if "the talk" you would have with a 6 year old would be the same as "the talk" you would/could have with a 12 year old.

[forwhataim]

My memory is hazy about masturbation. I really think it was never discussed. I remember that when I was old enough (later teens) to be let it on adult conversations there was some discussion of my younger male cousin being walked in on. The discussion was basically like well he's getting older and puberty is on the horizon, no judgment from adults. I think the family policy was don't ask, don't tell which I guess could attach some shame indirectly, but not much

[forwhataim]

I've been listening to Pink's entire catalog for the past two days and I just listened to her song "Fingers." It made me return to this entry since it could be its theme song.

[dyvinesweetness]

"The school sex program taught us it was okay I think."

Now that you mention it, I don't think my school mentioned masurbation at all during the sex/health ed section.

I do remember my teacher was adamant about debunking the "gap" myth. We believed that after a girl lost her viginity her thighs would no longer touch (assuming they ever did) and a permamnent gap would form. She was *serious* about making sure we knew that was not true. And informed us that she had 3 kids, then stood so we could see she did not have a gap. lol

[musikmanmike]

when i was 4, i saw a commercial for a grocery store, wanna say it was Lucky's. i remember i was playin' with some toys, and suddenly this woman was on the screen with deep, red lipstick. her smile was so genuine, and her eyes so relaxed.. i clearly remember wantin' to lay her out on whatever countertop she was standin' next to and.. well, yea. i dont remember knowin' the word "sex", or anything related to it, til around 6 or 7, and i definitely hadn't even heard of porn, so i caint say where the inclination came from, or that i even knew exactly what i wanted to do.. lol, i just knew i wanted to do it (no pun intended..), and that countertop was a perfect place to get it started.

[dyvinesweetness]

"her smile was so genuine, and her eyes so relaxed.."

These are such sophisticated things for a 4 year old to notice. lol Remind me to ask you about this red lipstick wearing woman later.