VOCALISE - CHAPTER 4
Title: Vocalise
Rating: PG13
Warning: Established character death. T__T
Pairing: Andy/Miranda
Length: 4200 words (this chapter)
Prompt: based on a prompt by amles80
Summary: A/U - Miranda is a choral director and Andy is a journalist who enjoys singing. Miranda has a painful past and Andy has to learn to believe in herself. Miranda is 47, Andy is 26 in this story.
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Devil Wears Prada.
Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3
A/N: After all the tears from the previous chapter, I thought that some fluffiness was in order. ^_^
Chapter 4
It was the Friday before Christmas and Andy walked to rehearsal with a slight spring in her step. She grinned and basked in the knowledge that in a few minutes she’d be around Miranda again. In the three weeks since Thanksgiving her slight crush had quickly developed into something more substantial, and although the conductor was as harsh and distant toward the choir as ever, Andy felt herself completely enthralled by the older woman.
Pulling her over-sized, green beanie lower and snuggling into her red and white striped scarf, she hurried through the throng of Christmas shoppers toward the community centre. It was particularly cold and windy today and Andy was glad she had chosen her warm, woolen, felt coat with the fur-lined sleeves and high collar. There was just something oddly reassuring about challenging the harsh winter weather, wearing warm and protective clothes. And having warm thoughts, Andy smiled at herself.
The smell of cinnamon and eggnog lattes wafted from the Starbucks, where she had so fatefully bumped into the white-haired object of her romantic desires just a few weeks ago, and Andy’s usual giddy holiday excitement was now amplified by the steady current of warm fuzziness rushing through her veins, whenever she thought of Miranda.
She breathed into her candy-cane patterned gloves for warmth and was about to walk up the small flight of steps to the entrance of the centre when a few choir members spilled through the door and blocked her path, their faces showing disappointment and annoyance.
“Hey guys, what’s up? Why aren’t you inside?”
Douglas, who had come outside with the group, shrugged his shoulders and greeted his friend with a brief hug.
“Mr. Ravitz has closed the auditorium for renovations over the holidays, but he failed to notify Miranda and now we have nowhere to rehearse.”
The brunette’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped at the absurdity of the actions of that man. She knew that the director of the community centre wanted to get rid of the choir, but this was bordering on sabotage. He had, after all, given them until the end of the year to hold a successful public performance, and now he was trying to interfere with their final, and most important rehearsals.
Andy was fuming. Her glove-covered hands rolled into fists and she clenched her jaw as she looked up the building to the office of Irv Ravitz. Her protectiveness of Miranda kicked in and she knew the older woman would be immensely displeased.
“Where’s Miranda? Does she know yet?”
Douglas nodded. “Yeah, she just found out, and she was frighteningly calm about it all. Just walked away talking on her cellphone and ordered us to wait outside the building.”
Scratching her head Andy looked around and noticed more singers arriving and joining their group in front of the centre. A low murmur of speculative whispers went through the small crowd until suddenly a bus stopped beside them on the street, just as Miranda swept out of the building with a frantic looking Emily on her heels.
“Don’t just stand there. Get on the bus already,” she said in her usual soft tone.
The bus door opened and the perplexed choir members were hesitant to step aboard until Emily hissed at them to ‘get a move on’.
It was a smaller coach and the amount of seats exactly fit the number of choir members so Andy quickly dove into the seat next to Doug in the second row so they could sit together. Her friend grinned and Andy felt like she was on a school field trip.
Miranda was the last one to step aboard the vehicle and she elegantly slid into the seat next to Emily in the first row, right in front of Andy.
The brunette’s breath caught as a subtle wave of Miranda’s distinctive perfume wafted back at her and she stared at the soft, silver locks and slender neck so close to her face. The conductor’s hoop earrings jiggled softly as she leaned forward to instruct the driver about their destination and Andy felt her abdomen contract when she watched an elegant hand run absentmindedly through the shorter hair on the back of the older woman’s head.
“Hey, breathe,” Doug whispered in her ear and Andy threw herself against the backrest and pulled the hat down over her eyes with an embarrassed smirk.
The bus pulled into evening traffic and Andy peeked from under the green wool of her floppy hat. Not-amused blue eyes were pinning her to the seat as Miranda fully rose and turned around. Gaze not leaving the violently blushing brunette, the older woman addressed the choir.
“We’re going to a different location for rehearsal. We will arrive there in half an hour, so spend the travel time going over your music.” She raised an eyebrow pointedly at Andy. “And don’t waste it with childish games.”
The brunette could not resist the urge to hide and pulled her hat back down at the scrutiny. A few seconds later she lifted the edge slowly to peek if Miranda was still looking, which of course she was.
“Really, Andrea. How old were you again?” Miranda spoke softly.
Andy could have sworn there was a slight twitch to the older woman’s lips, but she must have imagined that. Before she could fully lift the wool from her eyes the conductor had already turned around again and Andy stared dumbstruck at the white hair in front of her.
Doug’s blank expression was absolutely no help either, so Andy let out a quiet sigh and pulled out the sheet music. She spent the next few minutes secretly peeking over the edge of the papers to watch Miranda.
She knew she was completely struck down with affection for the older woman and it surprised her how quickly she had come to accept these feelings. Granted, there had been occasional crushes on female teachers and movie stars in her past, but Andy had never really taken it serious until now. The way Andy’s heart glowed when it came to Miranda, was overwhelming and raw, and she had absolutely no doubt that it was real attraction.
The journalist had no idea if that meant she was gay, but she knew she had never felt such an abundance of emotion for anyone else before. There was no way, in heaven or hell, that the older woman would ever return those feelings. So for now, Andy was content with just admiring her from afar. Warmth rose up her neck and she could feel it wrap around her ears. Getting too hot she removed her hat and scarf and gently shook out her brown locks.
Doug dropped a note on her lap and quickly turned to look out of the window when Andy unfolded the crumbled-up paper and read the neatly written text.
No fair! My Piano Man is nowhere to be found and you’re THIS close to the Snow Queen. I demand a consolation drink later!
PS: You’re drooling. :-P
Not able to suppress a giggle, Andy held the paper to her heart and leaned over to her friend to press a big, wet kiss on his cheek.
“Ewww! Get a bloody room, you two,” Emily scoffed at them as she turned around. From the corner of her eye, Andy saw Miranda briefly glance over as well but then quickly face the front again.
“You’re just jealous because no hot chicks are kissing you, Em.” Doug mocked.
“Shut the hell up,” the redhead hissed and slammed herself back into the seat, crossing her arms.
“Don’t be mean, Dougie,” Andy said softly, knowing full well how their little theatrics would anger Miranda.
She could tell from the way the older woman’s shoulders were tensing that she was indeed not pleased.
“Children, will you settle down or should I start giving out detention?” The conductor spoke dryly without looking at either of them.
Andy giggled as both Doug and Emily hung their heads in shame.
“I mean you as well... Ann-dray-ah...” Miranda slowly rolled each syllable off her tongue.
“Yes, Miranda,” the brunette whispered while pulling her over-sized hat back on her head and down over her face.
When the older woman usually said her name it already sent shivers down her spine, however this time it sounded extra sensual and Andy feared she might implode from the storm of raging hormones in her body. She spent the rest of the ride staring at the ceiling light of the coach and listening to the soft mumble of voices round her.
-----
The old theatre still smelled exactly the way Miranda remembered and she walked down the aisle between the rows of red velvet seats in restrained awe. This is where her love for music had begun when she was eight, sitting in the front row and listening to her mother sing the most beautiful arias. Now the theatre was no longer used for concerts, but the owner was an old family friend and after just a short phone call he had readily offered the place to Miranda and her choir. It wasn’t the cleanest but it still had a lot of its old charm and the acoustics were brilliant.
“Wow, this is beautiful,” Andrea whispered as she stood next to her. With brown eyes reflecting the dozen light bulbs from the large, central chandelier, the brunette looked up at the stuccoed ceiling and absentmindedly removed that silly, green hat. Watching a gentle smile ghost over the younger woman’s lips, Miranda felt a familiar warmth surge through her chest, and her fingers twitched at the urge of brushing a stray lock of hair from Andrea’s face.
Miranda knew she was overwhelmingly drawn to the brunette. There was just something about the way Andrea’s eyes lit up when she sang, or when she discovered something new and beautiful, such as this old theatre.
The sensations in her body caused Miranda to stiffen. She would not allow herself to stray again, and to lose sight of what was important. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Go clear the stage. We can’t set up with all those old props,” she ordered evenly and Andrea nodded and called over a few others to help move the heavy objects.
The conductor slipped out of her fitted trench coat and rolled up the sleeves of her white sweater. She could not resist watching Andrea interact with her friends as they carried a large table to the side.
The brunette seemed very close with the tenor, Douglas, and they had just shared an intimate moment in the bus after all. Miranda wondered whether they were a couple. The young man seemed very sweet and he possessed a heavenly voice, but the conductor felt a twinge when Andrea laughed at something funny Douglas had just said.
Don’t be ridiculous, she scolded silently. Even if she were honest with herself and admitted her budding feelings for the younger woman, with all her childish jokes and the ridiculous hats and scarves, she’d still never act on them.
Rubbing at the tense muscles at the back of her neck, Miranda sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t as if she actually stood a chance with someone so young and beautiful, but the main reason was that she had made a promise to herself to never get blinded by her own desires, ever again. She needed to get this under control.
“Time to begin,” she said while striding on stage and walking toward the grand piano in the left corner.
-----
Andy’s heart skipped a beat when she watched Miranda sit down behind the large instrument and lift the cover off the keys.
Surely she wasn’t going to play? Nigel was absent today, that was true, but it hadn’t even crossed Andy’s mind that the conductor would just take his place.
“We’ll begin with the second piece today,” Miranda instructed and Emily shuffled to the front with a wide grin as the rest of the choir stood in position. As much as she was annoyed by the red-haired Brit, Andy had to admit this particular song suited her and it apparently held a special meaning for Emily.
Miranda began playing the intro and Andy’s eyes were immediately drawn to the slender hands brushing over the keys. It was a good thing that Emily had to sing first, because the journalist was certain she wouldn’t find her own voice. She was too overwhelmed with adoration at how elegantly the older woman moved behind the piano. The slim wrists were perfectly still as she let her fingertips wander over the notes and Andy had to swallow hard to block out images of those hands tenderly caressing her cheeks.
”We’re walking in the air...” Emily’s clear voice disrupted Andy’s daydreams.
”We’re floating in the moon-lit sky... The people far below, are sleeping as we fly...”
The conductor nodded her head to indicate the women, and a bit later, the men to jump in and they continued together in cascading harmonies.
”We’re holding very tight, I’m riding in the midnight blue... I’m finding I can fly so high above with you...”
Andy’s heart glowed as she watched Miranda give shape to the beautiful instrumental bridge, the notes rolling down like melting droplets off glistening icicles.
”Far across the world, the villages go by like dreams...”
The brunette closed her eyes and pictured the landscape as it drew past below her.
”The rivers and the hills, the forests and the streams...”
All their voices sounded beautiful together and the warm sound vibrating through the large room wrapped itself around her body and carried Andy higher into the imagery of the song. She felt like the little boy who looked down on the world in wonder and amazement, and had the pleasure of experiencing the beauty of the winter night, flying through the sky. All the while, the softness of the piano caressed her very core, knowing that it was Miranda who was producing that sweet sound, and the brunette felt her eyes water.
When the song was over, the theatre remained completely still. Everyone seemed to be in awe at the magic they could produce together and Andy gingerly wiped the wet traces from her cheeks.
After a while the conductor said evenly, “Well, that wasn’t too awful.”
-----
At the end of rehearsal Miranda was left with a tempest of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, she was pleasantly surprised at the long way the young men and women had come in just a month’s time. Each and every one of them had improved and they had learned to sing together and listen to each other. They sounded good, and were confident enough to shine on Christmas Eve and not embarrass her as their conductor and director.
On the other hand, though, their bright and shiny underdog soprano, Andrea, had just sung her first solo and had mastered it so beautifully, that it had taken a lot of strength from Miranda to keep playing the accompanying piano notes. She had refused to look at the brunette and had tried to concentrate on the technicalities of her performance instead. However it had been very difficult to stop picturing Andrea in her mind, with those deep, chestnut eyes and full lips, so perfectly articulating each syllable.
The conductor slowly rubbed her temples as she followed the choir members back outside to wait for the bus.
It was nearly eleven at night and the wind felt particularly icy. She folded up the collar of her thin coat and internally cursed her choice of attire. She liked wearing different ensembles every day, and when she had left her apartment earlier she had not bet on standing on the freezing sidewalk an hour away from midnight, waiting for a bus to pick her up.
The singers were all huddling by the entrance door which had just been locked by the theatre’s landlord. The old man had been gracious enough to wait for them to finish rehearsal and Miranda had thought it rude to ask him to also wait for the bus. Of course now she regretted that decision.
“Emily,” she called out over the howling wind. “Why is the bus not here? I told you to call the driver over ten minutes ago.”
“Sorry Miranda, I spoke to him and he said he’d be here in five minutes. I don’t understand what’s taking him so long...” Emily stammered.
“Tales of your incompetence do not interest me,” Miranda said as icily as she felt, and flicked her hand out at the redhead.
“Well, go. Call again. He’s not being paid to leisurely cruise around the city,” she hissed and watched Emily hurry away with her cellphone in hand.
Miranda sighed and looked up at the night sky. The crisp air, and the small amount of streetlights in this older neighbourhood, allowed for the stars to shine brighter than in downtown Manhattan. The sight made the conductor feel small and humbled, and also strangely content. It made her feel alive.
She glanced over at the group of young singers and her eyes immediately found their usual target standing between Douglas and the curly-haired bass boy. With her silly, large Christmas hat, striped scarf and matching gloves, and that sickeningly happy glow about her. Something inside Miranda longed to reach out to Andrea, to somehow have some of that warm contentment rub off on her.
Throwing her head back in a hearty laugh, the brunette looked like a jolly woodland creature, her big eyes sparkling from the headlights of passing cars. Miranda felt her heart clench at the sight. She wanted to be the cause of such laughter. She wanted to make Andrea throw her head back for her, and not just in laughter, but also in passionate ecstasy.
Oh god, she chided herself. Would you stop it!
She would not let herself stray from the path again. Not even for someone as obviously sweet and kind as Andrea. She knew that this time it went far deeper than a simple physical attraction, but she wasn’t willing to even take the chance. Too much was at stake, and most importantly, she did not deserve that kind of happiness.
She shivered and raised her shoulders in an attempt to minimise the areas where the cold air could crawl under her coat. Sliding her arms around her middle didn’t add any warmth and she turned her back toward the wind to at least keep her face from freezing.
In a way she welcomed the iciness creeping up her bones. It kept her grounded, and her mind clear. It made her remember her place and her past, forcing all pleasant thoughts of the brunette from her mind. The wind cut at her with sharp little knives and she felt herself tremble in a wave of involuntary shivers.
Yes. Cold was good.
When she closed her eyes she could picture herself naked under the starry sky, as the harsh night judged her and her ridiculous feelings. It felt like a deserved punishment to stand by herself, away from the crowd of cheerful people, in the merciless wind, alone with her ever lingering sorrow.
-----
As Andy stood chatting with her friends, her eyes never left Miranda. The older woman hovered near the curb by herself, huddling into her far too thin trench coat, and the wind was playfully whipping her silver locks around her face. The silent dance of soft hair around perfect features enthralled the brunette so much that she completely missed what Nate was saying.
“... am I right?” Her friend was looking at her expectantly.
“Huh? Sorry, Nate. What did you say?” She faced him but still kept the older woman in the corner of her eye. Something seemed off.
“I said, you totally kicked Emily’s butt with your solo tonight! And that you will completely rule the concert on Monday.” He gave her a wide, hopeful grin.
“Well, we’ll see about that,” Andy replied absentmindedly and quickly flicked her eyes back at Miranda as she noticed the conductor staring up at the sky. Something was wrong, she could feel it. The older woman looked lost, and totally unlike her poised, confident self.
The conductor then turned her head directly at them and Andy, afraid to have been caught staring, quickly offered a goofy grin to Nate.
“Ah look at you, Miss Diva. Humble as a nun!” Nate joked and Andy hid her uneasiness about Miranda looking at them by throwing her head back in a full, but faked laugh.
She didn’t dare look over, too afraid she’d get pinned down by a pair of stern, blue eyes. Instead she pretended to be having fun with her friends. She still had no idea what they were saying to her, though. The feeling that something wasn’t right with Miranda kept nagging at her.
Her peripheral vision alerted her that the conductor had turned her back to them, and Andy watched the older woman pull up her shoulders to shield her bare neck from the biting winds. Something inside the journalist broke.
“Sorry guys, excuse me for a moment?”
She slowly walked over to Miranda, unsure about what exactly she should do. Maybe following her impulses wasn’t the smartest idea she’d had in a while. She came to a stop directly behind the conductor, nearly feeling the violent shudders, that were shaking the older woman’s body, reaching out toward her.
Holy crap! Andy thought. Miranda is totally freezing!
-----
Suddenly the cold wind was gone.
Miranda fluttered her eyes open to verify that she was indeed still on the street. Through the thin fabric of her coat she could sense a pulsing warmth and it was faint, but it was there. Building up some courage Miranda hesitantly turned around.
Staring back at her with insecure, but honest eyes was Andrea, standing so close that she acted as a windbreaker, shielding Miranda from the icy night.
Completely speechless, she just studied the brunette as a shy smile danced across those full lips.
“Are you alright, Miranda?”
It was a question she had heard countless times over the past five years, and they had always pissed her off. However now, the words, uttered so softly by this woman who seemed to carry the sun inside her very soul, reached out to the conductor and pulled her back to earth and toward warmth.
“You look cold.” Andrea’s eyes dropped to where Miranda’s hands were clamping at the collar of her trench coat.
“Here,” the brunette said so softly that, if it hadn’t been for those beautiful lips moving, Miranda could have sworn she’d been imagining it.
Time seemed to slow as she watched the younger woman reach up and uncurl the red and white scarf from her neck and gently drape it around Miranda. Andrea’s warmth and sweet scent still lingered in the soft wool and the older woman felt her cheeks flush at how careful the brunette was when she tied a lose knot under Miranda’s chin.
It seemed as if Miranda had somehow travelled from a cold, lonely place to this heaven of radiant affection in a matter of seconds and she had no idea what to do next.
“Better?”
There was something so full and alive in Andrea’s gaze. It wasn’t pity. Maybe it was compassion, or concern. Miranda wasn’t sure.
She subconsciously touched her cold fingers to the scarf now lining her neck, as if uncertain whether it was really there, and she felt herself slowly fall into the dark mocha pools gazing at her so intently. She couldn’t even nod, or whisper a ‘thank you’.
The sorrow in the back of her mind was crying out, seeking punishment for Miranda allowing herself to get drawn into this moment, but its voice was overpowered by the loud thumping of the blood rushing through her ears.
This was new. This wasn’t like before.
Her eyes were lured by a pink tongue peeking out to wet luscious lips and she could swear her pulse was sprinting a marathon by now. The cold was forgotten and the harsh December night had turned into a warm spring morning.
A few strands of chocolate brown hair were framing the younger woman’s features under the green hat, which Miranda had to admit now, was nothing short of extremely adorable. Andrea’s eyes seemed to glow, as if they were somehow trying to speak to her and their gazes remained locked for what seemed like an eternity.
The hesitant clearing of a throat startled them apart and Emily’s unhappy head peeked at them from out of the bus.
“Are you two coming?”
The conductor blinked a few times and she saw the brunette do the same. When had the bus arrived? When had everyone stepped aboard? Deeply inhaling a large gulp of air through her nostrils, Miranda tried to shake herself back into the present.
There was another sweet smile on Andrea’s lips as she spoke, “Come on. Let’s go.”
The older woman could only nod and followed the journalist onto the bus.
-----
To be continued...
Rating: PG13
Warning: Established character death. T__T
Pairing: Andy/Miranda
Length: 4200 words (this chapter)
Prompt: based on a prompt by amles80
Summary: A/U - Miranda is a choral director and Andy is a journalist who enjoys singing. Miranda has a painful past and Andy has to learn to believe in herself. Miranda is 47, Andy is 26 in this story.
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Devil Wears Prada.
Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3
A/N: After all the tears from the previous chapter, I thought that some fluffiness was in order. ^_^
Chapter 4
It was the Friday before Christmas and Andy walked to rehearsal with a slight spring in her step. She grinned and basked in the knowledge that in a few minutes she’d be around Miranda again. In the three weeks since Thanksgiving her slight crush had quickly developed into something more substantial, and although the conductor was as harsh and distant toward the choir as ever, Andy felt herself completely enthralled by the older woman.
Pulling her over-sized, green beanie lower and snuggling into her red and white striped scarf, she hurried through the throng of Christmas shoppers toward the community centre. It was particularly cold and windy today and Andy was glad she had chosen her warm, woolen, felt coat with the fur-lined sleeves and high collar. There was just something oddly reassuring about challenging the harsh winter weather, wearing warm and protective clothes. And having warm thoughts, Andy smiled at herself.
The smell of cinnamon and eggnog lattes wafted from the Starbucks, where she had so fatefully bumped into the white-haired object of her romantic desires just a few weeks ago, and Andy’s usual giddy holiday excitement was now amplified by the steady current of warm fuzziness rushing through her veins, whenever she thought of Miranda.
She breathed into her candy-cane patterned gloves for warmth and was about to walk up the small flight of steps to the entrance of the centre when a few choir members spilled through the door and blocked her path, their faces showing disappointment and annoyance.
“Hey guys, what’s up? Why aren’t you inside?”
Douglas, who had come outside with the group, shrugged his shoulders and greeted his friend with a brief hug.
“Mr. Ravitz has closed the auditorium for renovations over the holidays, but he failed to notify Miranda and now we have nowhere to rehearse.”
The brunette’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped at the absurdity of the actions of that man. She knew that the director of the community centre wanted to get rid of the choir, but this was bordering on sabotage. He had, after all, given them until the end of the year to hold a successful public performance, and now he was trying to interfere with their final, and most important rehearsals.
Andy was fuming. Her glove-covered hands rolled into fists and she clenched her jaw as she looked up the building to the office of Irv Ravitz. Her protectiveness of Miranda kicked in and she knew the older woman would be immensely displeased.
“Where’s Miranda? Does she know yet?”
Douglas nodded. “Yeah, she just found out, and she was frighteningly calm about it all. Just walked away talking on her cellphone and ordered us to wait outside the building.”
Scratching her head Andy looked around and noticed more singers arriving and joining their group in front of the centre. A low murmur of speculative whispers went through the small crowd until suddenly a bus stopped beside them on the street, just as Miranda swept out of the building with a frantic looking Emily on her heels.
“Don’t just stand there. Get on the bus already,” she said in her usual soft tone.
The bus door opened and the perplexed choir members were hesitant to step aboard until Emily hissed at them to ‘get a move on’.
It was a smaller coach and the amount of seats exactly fit the number of choir members so Andy quickly dove into the seat next to Doug in the second row so they could sit together. Her friend grinned and Andy felt like she was on a school field trip.
Miranda was the last one to step aboard the vehicle and she elegantly slid into the seat next to Emily in the first row, right in front of Andy.
The brunette’s breath caught as a subtle wave of Miranda’s distinctive perfume wafted back at her and she stared at the soft, silver locks and slender neck so close to her face. The conductor’s hoop earrings jiggled softly as she leaned forward to instruct the driver about their destination and Andy felt her abdomen contract when she watched an elegant hand run absentmindedly through the shorter hair on the back of the older woman’s head.
“Hey, breathe,” Doug whispered in her ear and Andy threw herself against the backrest and pulled the hat down over her eyes with an embarrassed smirk.
The bus pulled into evening traffic and Andy peeked from under the green wool of her floppy hat. Not-amused blue eyes were pinning her to the seat as Miranda fully rose and turned around. Gaze not leaving the violently blushing brunette, the older woman addressed the choir.
“We’re going to a different location for rehearsal. We will arrive there in half an hour, so spend the travel time going over your music.” She raised an eyebrow pointedly at Andy. “And don’t waste it with childish games.”
The brunette could not resist the urge to hide and pulled her hat back down at the scrutiny. A few seconds later she lifted the edge slowly to peek if Miranda was still looking, which of course she was.
“Really, Andrea. How old were you again?” Miranda spoke softly.
Andy could have sworn there was a slight twitch to the older woman’s lips, but she must have imagined that. Before she could fully lift the wool from her eyes the conductor had already turned around again and Andy stared dumbstruck at the white hair in front of her.
Doug’s blank expression was absolutely no help either, so Andy let out a quiet sigh and pulled out the sheet music. She spent the next few minutes secretly peeking over the edge of the papers to watch Miranda.
She knew she was completely struck down with affection for the older woman and it surprised her how quickly she had come to accept these feelings. Granted, there had been occasional crushes on female teachers and movie stars in her past, but Andy had never really taken it serious until now. The way Andy’s heart glowed when it came to Miranda, was overwhelming and raw, and she had absolutely no doubt that it was real attraction.
The journalist had no idea if that meant she was gay, but she knew she had never felt such an abundance of emotion for anyone else before. There was no way, in heaven or hell, that the older woman would ever return those feelings. So for now, Andy was content with just admiring her from afar. Warmth rose up her neck and she could feel it wrap around her ears. Getting too hot she removed her hat and scarf and gently shook out her brown locks.
Doug dropped a note on her lap and quickly turned to look out of the window when Andy unfolded the crumbled-up paper and read the neatly written text.
No fair! My Piano Man is nowhere to be found and you’re THIS close to the Snow Queen. I demand a consolation drink later!
PS: You’re drooling. :-P
Not able to suppress a giggle, Andy held the paper to her heart and leaned over to her friend to press a big, wet kiss on his cheek.
“Ewww! Get a bloody room, you two,” Emily scoffed at them as she turned around. From the corner of her eye, Andy saw Miranda briefly glance over as well but then quickly face the front again.
“You’re just jealous because no hot chicks are kissing you, Em.” Doug mocked.
“Shut the hell up,” the redhead hissed and slammed herself back into the seat, crossing her arms.
“Don’t be mean, Dougie,” Andy said softly, knowing full well how their little theatrics would anger Miranda.
She could tell from the way the older woman’s shoulders were tensing that she was indeed not pleased.
“Children, will you settle down or should I start giving out detention?” The conductor spoke dryly without looking at either of them.
Andy giggled as both Doug and Emily hung their heads in shame.
“I mean you as well... Ann-dray-ah...” Miranda slowly rolled each syllable off her tongue.
“Yes, Miranda,” the brunette whispered while pulling her over-sized hat back on her head and down over her face.
When the older woman usually said her name it already sent shivers down her spine, however this time it sounded extra sensual and Andy feared she might implode from the storm of raging hormones in her body. She spent the rest of the ride staring at the ceiling light of the coach and listening to the soft mumble of voices round her.
-----
The old theatre still smelled exactly the way Miranda remembered and she walked down the aisle between the rows of red velvet seats in restrained awe. This is where her love for music had begun when she was eight, sitting in the front row and listening to her mother sing the most beautiful arias. Now the theatre was no longer used for concerts, but the owner was an old family friend and after just a short phone call he had readily offered the place to Miranda and her choir. It wasn’t the cleanest but it still had a lot of its old charm and the acoustics were brilliant.
“Wow, this is beautiful,” Andrea whispered as she stood next to her. With brown eyes reflecting the dozen light bulbs from the large, central chandelier, the brunette looked up at the stuccoed ceiling and absentmindedly removed that silly, green hat. Watching a gentle smile ghost over the younger woman’s lips, Miranda felt a familiar warmth surge through her chest, and her fingers twitched at the urge of brushing a stray lock of hair from Andrea’s face.
Miranda knew she was overwhelmingly drawn to the brunette. There was just something about the way Andrea’s eyes lit up when she sang, or when she discovered something new and beautiful, such as this old theatre.
The sensations in her body caused Miranda to stiffen. She would not allow herself to stray again, and to lose sight of what was important. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Go clear the stage. We can’t set up with all those old props,” she ordered evenly and Andrea nodded and called over a few others to help move the heavy objects.
The conductor slipped out of her fitted trench coat and rolled up the sleeves of her white sweater. She could not resist watching Andrea interact with her friends as they carried a large table to the side.
The brunette seemed very close with the tenor, Douglas, and they had just shared an intimate moment in the bus after all. Miranda wondered whether they were a couple. The young man seemed very sweet and he possessed a heavenly voice, but the conductor felt a twinge when Andrea laughed at something funny Douglas had just said.
Don’t be ridiculous, she scolded silently. Even if she were honest with herself and admitted her budding feelings for the younger woman, with all her childish jokes and the ridiculous hats and scarves, she’d still never act on them.
Rubbing at the tense muscles at the back of her neck, Miranda sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t as if she actually stood a chance with someone so young and beautiful, but the main reason was that she had made a promise to herself to never get blinded by her own desires, ever again. She needed to get this under control.
“Time to begin,” she said while striding on stage and walking toward the grand piano in the left corner.
-----
Andy’s heart skipped a beat when she watched Miranda sit down behind the large instrument and lift the cover off the keys.
Surely she wasn’t going to play? Nigel was absent today, that was true, but it hadn’t even crossed Andy’s mind that the conductor would just take his place.
“We’ll begin with the second piece today,” Miranda instructed and Emily shuffled to the front with a wide grin as the rest of the choir stood in position. As much as she was annoyed by the red-haired Brit, Andy had to admit this particular song suited her and it apparently held a special meaning for Emily.
Miranda began playing the intro and Andy’s eyes were immediately drawn to the slender hands brushing over the keys. It was a good thing that Emily had to sing first, because the journalist was certain she wouldn’t find her own voice. She was too overwhelmed with adoration at how elegantly the older woman moved behind the piano. The slim wrists were perfectly still as she let her fingertips wander over the notes and Andy had to swallow hard to block out images of those hands tenderly caressing her cheeks.
”We’re walking in the air...” Emily’s clear voice disrupted Andy’s daydreams.
”We’re floating in the moon-lit sky... The people far below, are sleeping as we fly...”
The conductor nodded her head to indicate the women, and a bit later, the men to jump in and they continued together in cascading harmonies.
”We’re holding very tight, I’m riding in the midnight blue... I’m finding I can fly so high above with you...”
Andy’s heart glowed as she watched Miranda give shape to the beautiful instrumental bridge, the notes rolling down like melting droplets off glistening icicles.
”Far across the world, the villages go by like dreams...”
The brunette closed her eyes and pictured the landscape as it drew past below her.
”The rivers and the hills, the forests and the streams...”
All their voices sounded beautiful together and the warm sound vibrating through the large room wrapped itself around her body and carried Andy higher into the imagery of the song. She felt like the little boy who looked down on the world in wonder and amazement, and had the pleasure of experiencing the beauty of the winter night, flying through the sky. All the while, the softness of the piano caressed her very core, knowing that it was Miranda who was producing that sweet sound, and the brunette felt her eyes water.
When the song was over, the theatre remained completely still. Everyone seemed to be in awe at the magic they could produce together and Andy gingerly wiped the wet traces from her cheeks.
After a while the conductor said evenly, “Well, that wasn’t too awful.”
-----
At the end of rehearsal Miranda was left with a tempest of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, she was pleasantly surprised at the long way the young men and women had come in just a month’s time. Each and every one of them had improved and they had learned to sing together and listen to each other. They sounded good, and were confident enough to shine on Christmas Eve and not embarrass her as their conductor and director.
On the other hand, though, their bright and shiny underdog soprano, Andrea, had just sung her first solo and had mastered it so beautifully, that it had taken a lot of strength from Miranda to keep playing the accompanying piano notes. She had refused to look at the brunette and had tried to concentrate on the technicalities of her performance instead. However it had been very difficult to stop picturing Andrea in her mind, with those deep, chestnut eyes and full lips, so perfectly articulating each syllable.
The conductor slowly rubbed her temples as she followed the choir members back outside to wait for the bus.
It was nearly eleven at night and the wind felt particularly icy. She folded up the collar of her thin coat and internally cursed her choice of attire. She liked wearing different ensembles every day, and when she had left her apartment earlier she had not bet on standing on the freezing sidewalk an hour away from midnight, waiting for a bus to pick her up.
The singers were all huddling by the entrance door which had just been locked by the theatre’s landlord. The old man had been gracious enough to wait for them to finish rehearsal and Miranda had thought it rude to ask him to also wait for the bus. Of course now she regretted that decision.
“Emily,” she called out over the howling wind. “Why is the bus not here? I told you to call the driver over ten minutes ago.”
“Sorry Miranda, I spoke to him and he said he’d be here in five minutes. I don’t understand what’s taking him so long...” Emily stammered.
“Tales of your incompetence do not interest me,” Miranda said as icily as she felt, and flicked her hand out at the redhead.
“Well, go. Call again. He’s not being paid to leisurely cruise around the city,” she hissed and watched Emily hurry away with her cellphone in hand.
Miranda sighed and looked up at the night sky. The crisp air, and the small amount of streetlights in this older neighbourhood, allowed for the stars to shine brighter than in downtown Manhattan. The sight made the conductor feel small and humbled, and also strangely content. It made her feel alive.
She glanced over at the group of young singers and her eyes immediately found their usual target standing between Douglas and the curly-haired bass boy. With her silly, large Christmas hat, striped scarf and matching gloves, and that sickeningly happy glow about her. Something inside Miranda longed to reach out to Andrea, to somehow have some of that warm contentment rub off on her.
Throwing her head back in a hearty laugh, the brunette looked like a jolly woodland creature, her big eyes sparkling from the headlights of passing cars. Miranda felt her heart clench at the sight. She wanted to be the cause of such laughter. She wanted to make Andrea throw her head back for her, and not just in laughter, but also in passionate ecstasy.
Oh god, she chided herself. Would you stop it!
She would not let herself stray from the path again. Not even for someone as obviously sweet and kind as Andrea. She knew that this time it went far deeper than a simple physical attraction, but she wasn’t willing to even take the chance. Too much was at stake, and most importantly, she did not deserve that kind of happiness.
She shivered and raised her shoulders in an attempt to minimise the areas where the cold air could crawl under her coat. Sliding her arms around her middle didn’t add any warmth and she turned her back toward the wind to at least keep her face from freezing.
In a way she welcomed the iciness creeping up her bones. It kept her grounded, and her mind clear. It made her remember her place and her past, forcing all pleasant thoughts of the brunette from her mind. The wind cut at her with sharp little knives and she felt herself tremble in a wave of involuntary shivers.
Yes. Cold was good.
When she closed her eyes she could picture herself naked under the starry sky, as the harsh night judged her and her ridiculous feelings. It felt like a deserved punishment to stand by herself, away from the crowd of cheerful people, in the merciless wind, alone with her ever lingering sorrow.
-----
As Andy stood chatting with her friends, her eyes never left Miranda. The older woman hovered near the curb by herself, huddling into her far too thin trench coat, and the wind was playfully whipping her silver locks around her face. The silent dance of soft hair around perfect features enthralled the brunette so much that she completely missed what Nate was saying.
“... am I right?” Her friend was looking at her expectantly.
“Huh? Sorry, Nate. What did you say?” She faced him but still kept the older woman in the corner of her eye. Something seemed off.
“I said, you totally kicked Emily’s butt with your solo tonight! And that you will completely rule the concert on Monday.” He gave her a wide, hopeful grin.
“Well, we’ll see about that,” Andy replied absentmindedly and quickly flicked her eyes back at Miranda as she noticed the conductor staring up at the sky. Something was wrong, she could feel it. The older woman looked lost, and totally unlike her poised, confident self.
The conductor then turned her head directly at them and Andy, afraid to have been caught staring, quickly offered a goofy grin to Nate.
“Ah look at you, Miss Diva. Humble as a nun!” Nate joked and Andy hid her uneasiness about Miranda looking at them by throwing her head back in a full, but faked laugh.
She didn’t dare look over, too afraid she’d get pinned down by a pair of stern, blue eyes. Instead she pretended to be having fun with her friends. She still had no idea what they were saying to her, though. The feeling that something wasn’t right with Miranda kept nagging at her.
Her peripheral vision alerted her that the conductor had turned her back to them, and Andy watched the older woman pull up her shoulders to shield her bare neck from the biting winds. Something inside the journalist broke.
“Sorry guys, excuse me for a moment?”
She slowly walked over to Miranda, unsure about what exactly she should do. Maybe following her impulses wasn’t the smartest idea she’d had in a while. She came to a stop directly behind the conductor, nearly feeling the violent shudders, that were shaking the older woman’s body, reaching out toward her.
Holy crap! Andy thought. Miranda is totally freezing!
-----
Suddenly the cold wind was gone.
Miranda fluttered her eyes open to verify that she was indeed still on the street. Through the thin fabric of her coat she could sense a pulsing warmth and it was faint, but it was there. Building up some courage Miranda hesitantly turned around.
Staring back at her with insecure, but honest eyes was Andrea, standing so close that she acted as a windbreaker, shielding Miranda from the icy night.
Completely speechless, she just studied the brunette as a shy smile danced across those full lips.
“Are you alright, Miranda?”
It was a question she had heard countless times over the past five years, and they had always pissed her off. However now, the words, uttered so softly by this woman who seemed to carry the sun inside her very soul, reached out to the conductor and pulled her back to earth and toward warmth.
“You look cold.” Andrea’s eyes dropped to where Miranda’s hands were clamping at the collar of her trench coat.
“Here,” the brunette said so softly that, if it hadn’t been for those beautiful lips moving, Miranda could have sworn she’d been imagining it.
Time seemed to slow as she watched the younger woman reach up and uncurl the red and white scarf from her neck and gently drape it around Miranda. Andrea’s warmth and sweet scent still lingered in the soft wool and the older woman felt her cheeks flush at how careful the brunette was when she tied a lose knot under Miranda’s chin.
It seemed as if Miranda had somehow travelled from a cold, lonely place to this heaven of radiant affection in a matter of seconds and she had no idea what to do next.
“Better?”
There was something so full and alive in Andrea’s gaze. It wasn’t pity. Maybe it was compassion, or concern. Miranda wasn’t sure.
She subconsciously touched her cold fingers to the scarf now lining her neck, as if uncertain whether it was really there, and she felt herself slowly fall into the dark mocha pools gazing at her so intently. She couldn’t even nod, or whisper a ‘thank you’.
The sorrow in the back of her mind was crying out, seeking punishment for Miranda allowing herself to get drawn into this moment, but its voice was overpowered by the loud thumping of the blood rushing through her ears.
This was new. This wasn’t like before.
Her eyes were lured by a pink tongue peeking out to wet luscious lips and she could swear her pulse was sprinting a marathon by now. The cold was forgotten and the harsh December night had turned into a warm spring morning.
A few strands of chocolate brown hair were framing the younger woman’s features under the green hat, which Miranda had to admit now, was nothing short of extremely adorable. Andrea’s eyes seemed to glow, as if they were somehow trying to speak to her and their gazes remained locked for what seemed like an eternity.
The hesitant clearing of a throat startled them apart and Emily’s unhappy head peeked at them from out of the bus.
“Are you two coming?”
The conductor blinked a few times and she saw the brunette do the same. When had the bus arrived? When had everyone stepped aboard? Deeply inhaling a large gulp of air through her nostrils, Miranda tried to shake herself back into the present.
There was another sweet smile on Andrea’s lips as she spoke, “Come on. Let’s go.”
The older woman could only nod and followed the journalist onto the bus.
-----
To be continued...