10 things I like beginning with the letter T (letter Saidai gave me):

Traümerai (daydreams)
Tachycardia (one of my favourite words)
Troy Von Balthazard
Taffeta
Tea
Tales
Tipsiness
Trench coats
Trip hop
Twilight

Dark thoughts tangled in my hair, maybe because of the weather. El viento. El viento.

No more wine-red shirt.
The cat was lying on the cold ground and acted as if it was a warm pillow. In front of that sweet scene, he tried on some old clothes. Everything he could find in his wardrobe, even the things that didn't fit anymore. He had a sad look when he caught sight of his figure. I can't stop growing old, he said to himself. It's too ( Read more... )

Thanks to

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 I had been spending my day working on several books I bought for my new essay. Heidegger and Kant. Then, when I was looking for some texts in my parents' library, I found a picture of me on a pony back. I was a little girl. And I remembered that pony trekking perfectly. It came back so clearly to me. I felt sick, I fell, I cried. I hated my pony. ( Read more... )

There have been many modifications in my life since my last post. New and former feelings, recomposing and breaking down over and over. New face, darker hair and a little detail, under my lips, that gives me another look. New clothes, for me and my studio. New shoes for the following cold days.

"Stop it, I'm not playing anymore"
Sometimes things have to be cleared: no sweetheart, Life is not a stage. And I'm not an impassive doll. Look: sometimes I cry when you tell me lies. And sometimes I smile when your words are kind. I'm not your character. I'm Realitys.

Hard day today. Since my awakening, I've been telling myself that Tuesday is the most shitty day of the week ever. Nothing to do but working and dreaming of doing creative things; nobody to see, except the people of my little working world. 
Depressing weather; the only thing I can observe is the whiteness of my writing desk, the words of some dead ( Read more... )

I stumble and stumble. Because I have nowhere to go, because I have no well-defined way to follow. I walk at random. Even in my house. I do as if everything was newness. And I stumble, and I fall. I pick myself up, I caress my knees. I keep on walking. With music in my ears.

Today: lazy and indifferent; pale and distant; tired and absorbed in myself. I wish my house was built on the steep slope of a mountain. I wish my window looked on the ocean or on the sky or on the two. I'd like to dive into some infinite space. No horizon, no skyline to see; no beginning, no end to imagine. Only colors. Blue or grey.

But: next ( Read more... )