Big bang 2013: Better together: chapter five
Fic title: Better together 5/5
Author name: dutch_chick674
Artist name: theextrac00kie
Genre:> RPS au
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 23.331
Warnings: Angst, sex scenes
Summary: Jared finally left Jensen when he was tired of always being the second choice to the other man. He worked thought the hard times on supernatural but was happy when the series finally ended.
Jensen was broken when Jared finally had enough, even though he always knew in the back of his mind that thing would eventually fall apart. He only realized what a fool he was letting Jared go after he had ruined things between them
This is the story of what happens when they meet again four years after supernatural ended.
Authors note 1: This is part of the heartbreak verse, but reading it not requited.
previous chapter.
Chapter five.
Jared paces the room and clenches his fists. He has tried to sit and be rational but he is unable to do so. He is jittery and he keeps pacing, kicking the toy Tiny had left on the floor. He is nervous, frustrated and angry. He doesn’t know what he had expected after Jensen mentioned having a boyfriend to the press, but it certainly wasn’t this.
Jared reaches the coffee table again, and glared down at the magazine on top of it. It shows a picture of two men, Jensen and Joseph, with the headline: “The new J2? Is this Jensen’s new boyfriend?”
Jared can’t help the snarl at the picture of his boyfriend-his boyfriend!-posing in front of the camera with the star from his latest film. Of course, the two of them are standing close together and smiling. Jared can tell that Jensen’s smile is genuine, despite the other man being in his personal space. It is obvious the two of them are comfortable with each other.
“Fuck!” he shouts as he throws the magazine across the room.
He had wanted Jensen to mention him, but was afraid of what it would mean. He was afraid that he would get in too deep if everybody knew about them. Jared lets out a cynical laugh: he has been in way over his head from the moment he decided to let Jensen back into his life. This only proves it. Jared had gotten furious when he saw the photo at the news stand. He wasn’t really looking when he walked past the racks of magazines, until he caught a glimpse of Jensen. He had been curious and, when he took a closer look, he froze. He had expected it to be about the award, not speculation on who was the mystery boyfriend. When Jared saw the happy smiling photo of Jensen and Joseph he felt something snap. He bought the magazine, furious and ready to confront Jensen.
He’s convinced that it’s like Danneel all over again. Jared had been good enough for the bedroom but Jensen had shown someone else off in front of the camera.
He read the article on his way home. It talked about the two award-winners being perfect for each other. Joseph is a smart man and very artistic to top it off. Jared snorts bitterly; Joseph wouldn’t spend two year making actions movies. No, of course not. Joseph did the Sundance crap, and didn’t want to sell himself short. Jensen had done “Ten Inch Hero” for the same reason. It was the reason why Jensen had fallen for Danneel. Of course, the two seem perfect together. Jensen is obviously too good for a loud Neanderthal like Jared.
He does realize, deep down, that he is being unreasonable, that he has asked Jensen to wait. His boyfriend has been eager to make things public, but Jared hasn’t been ready yet. Stupid.
He picks up his cell phone, needing some distraction.
“Jay,” Olivia says when she picks up the phone, “what’s up?”
Jared takes a deep breath. He could have called Chad but the other man knows that there is a history between Jensen and Jared. Even if Jared hasn’t known Olivia that long, he knows she will give him her honest opinion. And he needs that right now.
“Nothing,” Jared answers and hates how his voice warbles.
He hears Olivia sigh and tell someone she had to take this phone call before she says, “You sound worked up over something.”
“Yeah, maybe I’m freaking out a little bit because there are some magazines suggesting Jensen is dating Joseph,” he replies honestly.
Olivia snorts. “Really?”
“Yeah. Liv, you know Jensen won that award. And he thanked his boyfriend.”
“He didn’t mention you by name?”Olivia interrupts him.
“I asked him not too,” Jared says.
“Okay, then it’s logical for the press to start speculating. Joseph was there, so they started guessing.”
“But Jensen shouldn’t have,” Jared begins but Olivia interrupts him once again.
“Shouldn’t have posed with his co-worker? Jared you know you’re being ridiculous right?”
Jared sighs. “Yes, just let me.”
“Alright, now tell me all about how unfair it was that Jensen did exactly what you asked him to do.”
“Thank you, Liv,” Jared says before he continues ranting about how unfair it is.
When they hang up Jared feels much better. He’s happy he got to vent a little. He knows that he was unreasonable and if he had talked to Jensen, it probably would have ended in a fight. He’s lucky to have a friend like Olivia, who tells him he’s being unreasonable but listens anyway.
***
Jensen walks in on Jared reading a script at the dining table. He smiles and walks over to his boyfriend to kiss him hello.
“Hi babe,” he whispers as he leans over Jared from the back and kisses him when the other man looks up.
“Anything good?” he asks sitting down across from him.
Jared grins. “Some stuff to consider yes. Did your manager come up with any more directing offers for you?”
Jensen shrugs. He hasn’t really be looking. He knows he should, and he needs to make a living after all. But he wants to direct and all he is getting are acting jobs. Also, Joseph had asked him to wait before committing to anything, because Joseph had a project he wanted to work on with Jensen.
Jensen tells Jared this and his boyfriend grins. “So you two are going to be the new Johnny Depp and Tim Burton?”
“More or less, but I think we’d be more into the drama, though,” Jensen says as he thinks about it. “Are you ready to go?”
Jensen has barely asked the question before the doorbell rings. They have made plans for dinner with Joseph and Olivia. Jared grins at him before standing up to open the door. They find Olivia standing at the front door. Despite what Jared believes, Jensen has no plans to set her up with Joseph. Dinner for three would be awkward, since Joseph and Jared don’t really know each other. Adding Olivia, he hopes, will help the flow of conversation, and Jared had said she is thrilled to meet Joseph.
Jensen steps up behind Jared to greet Olivia. She is dressed in a black dress that reaches just below the knee, and her hair is styled in a faux-hawk. Jensen stares at her. The only time he has seen her, she was wearing jeans and her hair and been artfully messed. Tonight she was looking like a princess.
Jensen is about to invite her in when another car pulls up. Jensen smiles and waves when he sees Joseph behind the wheel.
“Let’s go. I’ve made reservations at six,” Jared says as he gets his jacket from the coat hanger.
Jensen grins at Olivia. “He’s kind of excited. He almost invited Chris, Steve and Chad.”
“It’s okay, I’m excited too,” Olivia says, taking Jared's arm before skipping to the car.
Jensen shakes his head following them to the car.
“Where am I going?” Joseph asks and Jared gives him directions while Jensen makes small talk with Olivia.
Jared had requested a table in the back, just to avoid paparazzi. Jensen smiles, sits next to Jared, and takes his hand.
“So Olivia you’ve been working with Jared?” Joseph asks when they’re all seated.
“Oh please,” the blonde girl says with a red blush colouring her cheeks, “call me Liv. Yes I’ve been working with Jay-man here. He’s great to work with. We’ve had so much fun together.”
Jensen listens to Olivia talk about Jared on set with her and Alex. He smiles a little when she tells them about Jared’s complaints about the script. It reminds him of their Supernatural days.
“What are you smiling about?” Olivia asks him.
Jensen grins. “Jared used to tick off the writers with his suggestions. It’s why he had so many shirtless scenes. They couldn’t get revenge on him the usually way, since he was the star of the show.”
“Shut up! They did not!” Jared says, looking shocked.
“I’m sorry babe,” Jensen says then turns to Olivia and stage whispers, “the only reason why I didn’t warn him after the second time it happened was because he looks so hot shirtless.”
Joseph spews his wine over the table bursting out in laughter and soon the others join in. It ends up being a fun night out.
When they walk out of the restaurant, Jensen sees the paparazzi, and grimaces. Somebody from the restaurant must have called them. He looks at Jared who’s walking behind him talking to Olivia. He doesn’t want Jared to get angry with him when photos of them together end up on the front page of some gossip magazine. Jared has made it very clear that he isn’t ready for that, and Jensen respects his choice. So Jensen walks closer to Joseph, to distance himself from Jared as the flashes go off.
***
Jared wakes up plastered to Jensen’s side. He groans and looks at the alarm clock. It is still early and he doesn’t really want to wake up yet. But now that he has opened his eyes, Jared knows he’s not going to get back to sleep.
“Baby?” Jensen asks when Jared moves to get out of bed.
“Morning,” he says moving back so that he is lying against Jensen again.
When he looks up at Jensen, the other man his looking down at him with love in his eyes. Last night after dinner Jensen had taken Jared up to the bed and they had made love. Usually Jared hated the phrase, but with Jensen it made sense. Jensen’s eyes never left Jared’s as he drove into him again and again. The slow build-up had Jared writhing on the bed and coming harder than he ever had. Jensen had wrapped him up in a tight hugs, kissing him softly. Jared slowly drifted off to sleep, and had never felt so loved.
“Why are you up so early,” Jensen asks with a yawn. “I thought I wore you out last night.”
“You did, I just couldn’t sleep anymore.”
Jensen laughs and pulls Jared closer to him. “I’m feeling lazy, let just stay in bed a bit longer.”
They lay together in silence, with Jensen’s hands stroking Jared’s arm softly. Jared enjoys the closeness.
“Did you have fun last night?” Jensen asks.
Jared looks at up him with an arched eyebrow. “What? Being fucked into oblivion by you? It was alright, I guess.”
Jensen snorts. Jared is subjected to pulling, poking, and tickling. Jensen pushes at his shoulders so Jared is lying on his back, and Jensen keeps tickling him until Jared’s out of breath and is begging for mercy. Jared looks up at his boyfriend. He’s breathing hard, and is thinking how lucky he was that Jensen came back into his life. Jensen leans down to kiss Jared and Jared relaxes into the kiss. Jensen takes his time exploring Jared’s mouth.
They spend their time making out until Tiny opens the door-the clever mutt learned that before he was fully grown-and made them jump apart in startlement.
“I think I should walk the dog,” Jared says and gets out of bed.
“I’ll come with you,” Jensen says.
And Jared is happy to have this great lazy Sunday together.
***
Jensen laughs when Jared shouts at the television for the fourth time since the football game started. They are sitting together on the couch: Jensen holding a book and Jared watching the game. Jensen isn’t really into football, being more of a basketball man, but Jared is really into it. Jensen gave up on reading his book after the second time Jared startled him.
“What?” Jared asks when he notices Jensen staring at him.
“I love you,” Jensen says, before leaning over and kissing Jared softly.
Jared laughs and pushes Jensen away softly, “I love you too.”
Jensen stands up, knowing Jared wants to watch the game in silence. He goes to the kitchen the kitchen to get his boyfriend a beer. When he gets back he sits next to Jared and gets his laptop. When he opens his email, he sees an email from his manager. He has found a project that he thinks Jensen might have interest in. When he read through it he nearly falls off the couch.
“Are you alright?” Jared asks.
“Yeah, no, did you know Kripke has a new project?”
That gets Jared’s attention and the other man leans over to read what’s on Jensen’s laptop. Kripke has requested Jensen and Jared get first pick on this, apparently. It’s about aliens coming to earth and trying to live together with humans.
“I could totally see you as an alien,” Jensen says as he turns towards Jared.
He is intrigued; it’s clear that there will be a lot of the old Supernatural alumni. It would be fun working with the old gang again. Maybe he could convince Kripke to let him direct the whole thing.
“We could read a script. See what it’s about,” Jared says. He kicks his feet up on Jensen lap again. “Might be nice to work together again.”
Jensen silently agrees and replies to the email.
***
Jared sees the magazine on the kitchen table, opened to the article. So, of course, he reads it. This time he didn’t go out looking for it. No this time Jensen has brought it into their home.
The article is about their dinner with Olivia and Joseph. Jared had hoped that people would see that he and Jensen are together but instead they are talking about Jensen and Joseph again. This time they even linked Jared with Olivia.
Come on! They know Jared is gay! They should know better than to think he would date a girl, even one as hot as Olivia. He’s frustrated and sad when Jensen enters and he takes it out on his boyfriend.
“Hey Jay, I see you read the article,” Jensen says.
“Yeah I read the article. They’re still talking about your new boyfriend!” Jared doesn’t know why he’s yelling but he’s just so upset.
“My new what?” Jensen asks sounding confused.
“For fucks sake,” Jared says and throws the magazine at Jensen. “It is just like old times. You, posing for a photo with everyone but me!”
Jared doesn’t even know where this is coming from. Jared thought that he was fine, but it turns out he was wrong.
“That’s not fair, Jared! You didn’t want to pose with me. You didn’t want everyone to know about me! What do you want from me Jared? I hope you know, ‘cause I sure as hell don’t!”
“Fuck this,” Jared says. “Fuck you!” he shouts before walking out of the kitchen.
***
Jensen runs after his boyfriend determined not to let Jared walk away again. He stops Jared before he can walk out of the door.
“Okay, what is this about Jared? We have to talk about this.”
Jared paces. “You never wanted to talk before,” he accuses.
Jensen grabs Jared’s hands. “This time is different, baby. I know it's hard but we need to get over that.”
Jared pulls away from Jensen like he's been burned. He turns on him, angry.
“Really, we? What do you need to get over? Huh?”
“Jay, you know there is nothing going on between me and Joseph. We can fix that article easily by giving an interview, by telling everybody we’re together. But you’re not ready for that, so . . . What are you so upset about?” Jensen asks carefully.
“You don't know what it's like to be the one in a relationship who loves the most!” Jared desperately, trying to make Jensen understand.
Jensen looks up at Jared, shaken.
“You were always secure, with me, with Danneel. You knew that no matter how much you screwed us over we would be there for you.” Jared says and continues his pacing in front of Jensen.
“Until you left me,” Jensen says. It is out of his mouth before he realizes it, and Jared stops and glares at him.
“What choice did I have Jensen?” Jared says quietly. “You were breaking me!”
Jensen swallows around a lump in his throat, unable to speak. He knows it's true. He knows his selfishness had almost cost him everything, and he is grateful as fuck that Jared is willing to give him a second chance. But it has to be a fair chance. Jensen looks away from Jared’s face to stare the floor. Is Jared still upset about the way things were before? Just like Jensen is still feeling guilty about the same thing. They love each other, but how are they going to get past this?
“I know and Jay I'm sorry. You know I really am,” Jensen says as he tries to grab Jared’s hands, and his heart breaks a little when Jared flinches like he's been burned.
“You didn't know what it was like. Seeing you with her, never being able to just hold your hand, be out and be happy.”
Jensen stands up suddenly angry. “Then be happy now! Jared, I can't take back what I did. I can't change the past. I am sorry. But if you're going to hold it over my head, this isn't going to work, not if you keep punishing me.”
Jensen thinks that maybe this is good, that they need to get this out in the open. They haven't really talked about what happened back then. Not really. And maybe it is time they do.
They're both standing, glaring at each other, breathing harshly. Suddenly the anger drains from Jared’s face and he moves forward to softly touch Jensen's face.
“Have I been doing that,” he asks, and his sad eyes find Jensen’s.
Jensen shrugs; it's not like he didn't deserve it. He knows damn well how much he hurt Jared. And he admits some part of him thinks he deserves to be punished. But enough is enough. He’s come to his senses maybe a bit late. If he doesn't love and protect himself, who else would?
“I have,” Jared whispers. “I hadn't realized that's what I’ve been doing. I guess maybe I'm still angry with you on some level. I just feel so insecure sometimes. I'm sorry babe.”
Jensen wants to say that it’s okay, to beg Jared to please not leave him.
Jared sits down and leans his head on Jensen's shoulders. Jensen shifts them so that they are both sitting comfortably.
“I love you,” Jared whispers.
Jensen smiles softly. He knows that this isn't the last time they talk or fight about this, but at least for now everything is alright.
“I love you too,” he answers, too tired to talk anymore.
***
Jared wakes up wrapped around Jensen the next morning. He has a slight headache from the fight last night, but he’s feeling better now that they had talked. He knows he was letting his old fear control his current relationship with Jensen. He plans to change that. He stretches and when he looks at Jensen he sees that the other man is awake already. Jensen smiles and kisses him.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jensen says, shifting so that he and Jared are both on their sides facing each other.
Jared takes a deep breath before gesturing for Jensen to go on.
“About last night-our fight. It’s clear we both still have issues.”
“I know,” Jared interrupts placing his hand on Jensen’s hip.
He doesn’t know where this is going but he doesn’t want Jensen to leave. He wants to make sure neither of them leave the bed before they are done talking.
“Babe,” Jensen sighs closing his eyes pulling Jared closer.
“I love you Jensen, so much, and I know I’ve been unreasonable. I’m just so afraid.”
Jensen nods, taking Jared’s hand from his hip, entwining their fingers, and placing a soft kiss on their joined hands.
“It’s okay, babe. Like I said, I’ve been thinking. And I know we’re going to have more arguments. But when something is bothering you, you need to talk to me about it.”
“And you have to talk to me,” Jared adds and Jensen nods.
“What I’m trying to say,” Jensen says with a soft smile, “is that it won’t be a happily ever after. We both have issues we need to work through. But I don’t need a happily ever after, I just want the ‘ever after’ part-with you.”
Jared feels a lump form in his throat at Jensen’s words and he tries to blink away the tears, before he leans forward to kiss Jensen. They share kisses and cuddle close.
Jared sighs. “I love you so much.”
epilogue
Author name: dutch_chick674
Artist name: theextrac00kie
Genre:> RPS au
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 23.331
Warnings: Angst, sex scenes
Summary: Jared finally left Jensen when he was tired of always being the second choice to the other man. He worked thought the hard times on supernatural but was happy when the series finally ended.
Jensen was broken when Jared finally had enough, even though he always knew in the back of his mind that thing would eventually fall apart. He only realized what a fool he was letting Jared go after he had ruined things between them
This is the story of what happens when they meet again four years after supernatural ended.
Authors note 1: This is part of the heartbreak verse, but reading it not requited.
previous chapter.
Chapter five.
Jared paces the room and clenches his fists. He has tried to sit and be rational but he is unable to do so. He is jittery and he keeps pacing, kicking the toy Tiny had left on the floor. He is nervous, frustrated and angry. He doesn’t know what he had expected after Jensen mentioned having a boyfriend to the press, but it certainly wasn’t this.
Jared reaches the coffee table again, and glared down at the magazine on top of it. It shows a picture of two men, Jensen and Joseph, with the headline: “The new J2? Is this Jensen’s new boyfriend?”
Jared can’t help the snarl at the picture of his boyfriend-his boyfriend!-posing in front of the camera with the star from his latest film. Of course, the two of them are standing close together and smiling. Jared can tell that Jensen’s smile is genuine, despite the other man being in his personal space. It is obvious the two of them are comfortable with each other.
“Fuck!” he shouts as he throws the magazine across the room.
He had wanted Jensen to mention him, but was afraid of what it would mean. He was afraid that he would get in too deep if everybody knew about them. Jared lets out a cynical laugh: he has been in way over his head from the moment he decided to let Jensen back into his life. This only proves it. Jared had gotten furious when he saw the photo at the news stand. He wasn’t really looking when he walked past the racks of magazines, until he caught a glimpse of Jensen. He had been curious and, when he took a closer look, he froze. He had expected it to be about the award, not speculation on who was the mystery boyfriend. When Jared saw the happy smiling photo of Jensen and Joseph he felt something snap. He bought the magazine, furious and ready to confront Jensen.
He’s convinced that it’s like Danneel all over again. Jared had been good enough for the bedroom but Jensen had shown someone else off in front of the camera.
He read the article on his way home. It talked about the two award-winners being perfect for each other. Joseph is a smart man and very artistic to top it off. Jared snorts bitterly; Joseph wouldn’t spend two year making actions movies. No, of course not. Joseph did the Sundance crap, and didn’t want to sell himself short. Jensen had done “Ten Inch Hero” for the same reason. It was the reason why Jensen had fallen for Danneel. Of course, the two seem perfect together. Jensen is obviously too good for a loud Neanderthal like Jared.
He does realize, deep down, that he is being unreasonable, that he has asked Jensen to wait. His boyfriend has been eager to make things public, but Jared hasn’t been ready yet. Stupid.
He picks up his cell phone, needing some distraction.
“Jay,” Olivia says when she picks up the phone, “what’s up?”
Jared takes a deep breath. He could have called Chad but the other man knows that there is a history between Jensen and Jared. Even if Jared hasn’t known Olivia that long, he knows she will give him her honest opinion. And he needs that right now.
“Nothing,” Jared answers and hates how his voice warbles.
He hears Olivia sigh and tell someone she had to take this phone call before she says, “You sound worked up over something.”
“Yeah, maybe I’m freaking out a little bit because there are some magazines suggesting Jensen is dating Joseph,” he replies honestly.
Olivia snorts. “Really?”
“Yeah. Liv, you know Jensen won that award. And he thanked his boyfriend.”
“He didn’t mention you by name?”Olivia interrupts him.
“I asked him not too,” Jared says.
“Okay, then it’s logical for the press to start speculating. Joseph was there, so they started guessing.”
“But Jensen shouldn’t have,” Jared begins but Olivia interrupts him once again.
“Shouldn’t have posed with his co-worker? Jared you know you’re being ridiculous right?”
Jared sighs. “Yes, just let me.”
“Alright, now tell me all about how unfair it was that Jensen did exactly what you asked him to do.”
“Thank you, Liv,” Jared says before he continues ranting about how unfair it is.
When they hang up Jared feels much better. He’s happy he got to vent a little. He knows that he was unreasonable and if he had talked to Jensen, it probably would have ended in a fight. He’s lucky to have a friend like Olivia, who tells him he’s being unreasonable but listens anyway.
***
Jensen walks in on Jared reading a script at the dining table. He smiles and walks over to his boyfriend to kiss him hello.
“Hi babe,” he whispers as he leans over Jared from the back and kisses him when the other man looks up.
“Anything good?” he asks sitting down across from him.
Jared grins. “Some stuff to consider yes. Did your manager come up with any more directing offers for you?”
Jensen shrugs. He hasn’t really be looking. He knows he should, and he needs to make a living after all. But he wants to direct and all he is getting are acting jobs. Also, Joseph had asked him to wait before committing to anything, because Joseph had a project he wanted to work on with Jensen.
Jensen tells Jared this and his boyfriend grins. “So you two are going to be the new Johnny Depp and Tim Burton?”
“More or less, but I think we’d be more into the drama, though,” Jensen says as he thinks about it. “Are you ready to go?”
Jensen has barely asked the question before the doorbell rings. They have made plans for dinner with Joseph and Olivia. Jared grins at him before standing up to open the door. They find Olivia standing at the front door. Despite what Jared believes, Jensen has no plans to set her up with Joseph. Dinner for three would be awkward, since Joseph and Jared don’t really know each other. Adding Olivia, he hopes, will help the flow of conversation, and Jared had said she is thrilled to meet Joseph.
Jensen steps up behind Jared to greet Olivia. She is dressed in a black dress that reaches just below the knee, and her hair is styled in a faux-hawk. Jensen stares at her. The only time he has seen her, she was wearing jeans and her hair and been artfully messed. Tonight she was looking like a princess.
Jensen is about to invite her in when another car pulls up. Jensen smiles and waves when he sees Joseph behind the wheel.
“Let’s go. I’ve made reservations at six,” Jared says as he gets his jacket from the coat hanger.
Jensen grins at Olivia. “He’s kind of excited. He almost invited Chris, Steve and Chad.”
“It’s okay, I’m excited too,” Olivia says, taking Jared's arm before skipping to the car.
Jensen shakes his head following them to the car.
“Where am I going?” Joseph asks and Jared gives him directions while Jensen makes small talk with Olivia.
Jared had requested a table in the back, just to avoid paparazzi. Jensen smiles, sits next to Jared, and takes his hand.
“So Olivia you’ve been working with Jared?” Joseph asks when they’re all seated.
“Oh please,” the blonde girl says with a red blush colouring her cheeks, “call me Liv. Yes I’ve been working with Jay-man here. He’s great to work with. We’ve had so much fun together.”
Jensen listens to Olivia talk about Jared on set with her and Alex. He smiles a little when she tells them about Jared’s complaints about the script. It reminds him of their Supernatural days.
“What are you smiling about?” Olivia asks him.
Jensen grins. “Jared used to tick off the writers with his suggestions. It’s why he had so many shirtless scenes. They couldn’t get revenge on him the usually way, since he was the star of the show.”
“Shut up! They did not!” Jared says, looking shocked.
“I’m sorry babe,” Jensen says then turns to Olivia and stage whispers, “the only reason why I didn’t warn him after the second time it happened was because he looks so hot shirtless.”
Joseph spews his wine over the table bursting out in laughter and soon the others join in. It ends up being a fun night out.
When they walk out of the restaurant, Jensen sees the paparazzi, and grimaces. Somebody from the restaurant must have called them. He looks at Jared who’s walking behind him talking to Olivia. He doesn’t want Jared to get angry with him when photos of them together end up on the front page of some gossip magazine. Jared has made it very clear that he isn’t ready for that, and Jensen respects his choice. So Jensen walks closer to Joseph, to distance himself from Jared as the flashes go off.
***
Jared wakes up plastered to Jensen’s side. He groans and looks at the alarm clock. It is still early and he doesn’t really want to wake up yet. But now that he has opened his eyes, Jared knows he’s not going to get back to sleep.
“Baby?” Jensen asks when Jared moves to get out of bed.
“Morning,” he says moving back so that he is lying against Jensen again.
When he looks up at Jensen, the other man his looking down at him with love in his eyes. Last night after dinner Jensen had taken Jared up to the bed and they had made love. Usually Jared hated the phrase, but with Jensen it made sense. Jensen’s eyes never left Jared’s as he drove into him again and again. The slow build-up had Jared writhing on the bed and coming harder than he ever had. Jensen had wrapped him up in a tight hugs, kissing him softly. Jared slowly drifted off to sleep, and had never felt so loved.
“Why are you up so early,” Jensen asks with a yawn. “I thought I wore you out last night.”
“You did, I just couldn’t sleep anymore.”
Jensen laughs and pulls Jared closer to him. “I’m feeling lazy, let just stay in bed a bit longer.”
They lay together in silence, with Jensen’s hands stroking Jared’s arm softly. Jared enjoys the closeness.
“Did you have fun last night?” Jensen asks.
Jared looks at up him with an arched eyebrow. “What? Being fucked into oblivion by you? It was alright, I guess.”
Jensen snorts. Jared is subjected to pulling, poking, and tickling. Jensen pushes at his shoulders so Jared is lying on his back, and Jensen keeps tickling him until Jared’s out of breath and is begging for mercy. Jared looks up at his boyfriend. He’s breathing hard, and is thinking how lucky he was that Jensen came back into his life. Jensen leans down to kiss Jared and Jared relaxes into the kiss. Jensen takes his time exploring Jared’s mouth.
They spend their time making out until Tiny opens the door-the clever mutt learned that before he was fully grown-and made them jump apart in startlement.
“I think I should walk the dog,” Jared says and gets out of bed.
“I’ll come with you,” Jensen says.
And Jared is happy to have this great lazy Sunday together.
***
Jensen laughs when Jared shouts at the television for the fourth time since the football game started. They are sitting together on the couch: Jensen holding a book and Jared watching the game. Jensen isn’t really into football, being more of a basketball man, but Jared is really into it. Jensen gave up on reading his book after the second time Jared startled him.
“What?” Jared asks when he notices Jensen staring at him.
“I love you,” Jensen says, before leaning over and kissing Jared softly.
Jared laughs and pushes Jensen away softly, “I love you too.”
Jensen stands up, knowing Jared wants to watch the game in silence. He goes to the kitchen the kitchen to get his boyfriend a beer. When he gets back he sits next to Jared and gets his laptop. When he opens his email, he sees an email from his manager. He has found a project that he thinks Jensen might have interest in. When he read through it he nearly falls off the couch.
“Are you alright?” Jared asks.
“Yeah, no, did you know Kripke has a new project?”
That gets Jared’s attention and the other man leans over to read what’s on Jensen’s laptop. Kripke has requested Jensen and Jared get first pick on this, apparently. It’s about aliens coming to earth and trying to live together with humans.
“I could totally see you as an alien,” Jensen says as he turns towards Jared.
He is intrigued; it’s clear that there will be a lot of the old Supernatural alumni. It would be fun working with the old gang again. Maybe he could convince Kripke to let him direct the whole thing.
“We could read a script. See what it’s about,” Jared says. He kicks his feet up on Jensen lap again. “Might be nice to work together again.”
Jensen silently agrees and replies to the email.
***
Jared sees the magazine on the kitchen table, opened to the article. So, of course, he reads it. This time he didn’t go out looking for it. No this time Jensen has brought it into their home.
The article is about their dinner with Olivia and Joseph. Jared had hoped that people would see that he and Jensen are together but instead they are talking about Jensen and Joseph again. This time they even linked Jared with Olivia.
Come on! They know Jared is gay! They should know better than to think he would date a girl, even one as hot as Olivia. He’s frustrated and sad when Jensen enters and he takes it out on his boyfriend.
“Hey Jay, I see you read the article,” Jensen says.
“Yeah I read the article. They’re still talking about your new boyfriend!” Jared doesn’t know why he’s yelling but he’s just so upset.
“My new what?” Jensen asks sounding confused.
“For fucks sake,” Jared says and throws the magazine at Jensen. “It is just like old times. You, posing for a photo with everyone but me!”
Jared doesn’t even know where this is coming from. Jared thought that he was fine, but it turns out he was wrong.
“That’s not fair, Jared! You didn’t want to pose with me. You didn’t want everyone to know about me! What do you want from me Jared? I hope you know, ‘cause I sure as hell don’t!”
“Fuck this,” Jared says. “Fuck you!” he shouts before walking out of the kitchen.
***
Jensen runs after his boyfriend determined not to let Jared walk away again. He stops Jared before he can walk out of the door.
“Okay, what is this about Jared? We have to talk about this.”
Jared paces. “You never wanted to talk before,” he accuses.
Jensen grabs Jared’s hands. “This time is different, baby. I know it's hard but we need to get over that.”
Jared pulls away from Jensen like he's been burned. He turns on him, angry.
“Really, we? What do you need to get over? Huh?”
“Jay, you know there is nothing going on between me and Joseph. We can fix that article easily by giving an interview, by telling everybody we’re together. But you’re not ready for that, so . . . What are you so upset about?” Jensen asks carefully.
“You don't know what it's like to be the one in a relationship who loves the most!” Jared desperately, trying to make Jensen understand.
Jensen looks up at Jared, shaken.
“You were always secure, with me, with Danneel. You knew that no matter how much you screwed us over we would be there for you.” Jared says and continues his pacing in front of Jensen.
“Until you left me,” Jensen says. It is out of his mouth before he realizes it, and Jared stops and glares at him.
“What choice did I have Jensen?” Jared says quietly. “You were breaking me!”
Jensen swallows around a lump in his throat, unable to speak. He knows it's true. He knows his selfishness had almost cost him everything, and he is grateful as fuck that Jared is willing to give him a second chance. But it has to be a fair chance. Jensen looks away from Jared’s face to stare the floor. Is Jared still upset about the way things were before? Just like Jensen is still feeling guilty about the same thing. They love each other, but how are they going to get past this?
“I know and Jay I'm sorry. You know I really am,” Jensen says as he tries to grab Jared’s hands, and his heart breaks a little when Jared flinches like he's been burned.
“You didn't know what it was like. Seeing you with her, never being able to just hold your hand, be out and be happy.”
Jensen stands up suddenly angry. “Then be happy now! Jared, I can't take back what I did. I can't change the past. I am sorry. But if you're going to hold it over my head, this isn't going to work, not if you keep punishing me.”
Jensen thinks that maybe this is good, that they need to get this out in the open. They haven't really talked about what happened back then. Not really. And maybe it is time they do.
They're both standing, glaring at each other, breathing harshly. Suddenly the anger drains from Jared’s face and he moves forward to softly touch Jensen's face.
“Have I been doing that,” he asks, and his sad eyes find Jensen’s.
Jensen shrugs; it's not like he didn't deserve it. He knows damn well how much he hurt Jared. And he admits some part of him thinks he deserves to be punished. But enough is enough. He’s come to his senses maybe a bit late. If he doesn't love and protect himself, who else would?
“I have,” Jared whispers. “I hadn't realized that's what I’ve been doing. I guess maybe I'm still angry with you on some level. I just feel so insecure sometimes. I'm sorry babe.”
Jensen wants to say that it’s okay, to beg Jared to please not leave him.
Jared sits down and leans his head on Jensen's shoulders. Jensen shifts them so that they are both sitting comfortably.
“I love you,” Jared whispers.
Jensen smiles softly. He knows that this isn't the last time they talk or fight about this, but at least for now everything is alright.
“I love you too,” he answers, too tired to talk anymore.
***
Jared wakes up wrapped around Jensen the next morning. He has a slight headache from the fight last night, but he’s feeling better now that they had talked. He knows he was letting his old fear control his current relationship with Jensen. He plans to change that. He stretches and when he looks at Jensen he sees that the other man is awake already. Jensen smiles and kisses him.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jensen says, shifting so that he and Jared are both on their sides facing each other.
Jared takes a deep breath before gesturing for Jensen to go on.
“About last night-our fight. It’s clear we both still have issues.”
“I know,” Jared interrupts placing his hand on Jensen’s hip.
He doesn’t know where this is going but he doesn’t want Jensen to leave. He wants to make sure neither of them leave the bed before they are done talking.
“Babe,” Jensen sighs closing his eyes pulling Jared closer.
“I love you Jensen, so much, and I know I’ve been unreasonable. I’m just so afraid.”
Jensen nods, taking Jared’s hand from his hip, entwining their fingers, and placing a soft kiss on their joined hands.
“It’s okay, babe. Like I said, I’ve been thinking. And I know we’re going to have more arguments. But when something is bothering you, you need to talk to me about it.”
“And you have to talk to me,” Jared adds and Jensen nods.
“What I’m trying to say,” Jensen says with a soft smile, “is that it won’t be a happily ever after. We both have issues we need to work through. But I don’t need a happily ever after, I just want the ‘ever after’ part-with you.”
Jared feels a lump form in his throat at Jensen’s words and he tries to blink away the tears, before he leans forward to kiss Jensen. They share kisses and cuddle close.
Jared sighs. “I love you so much.”
epilogue