recipe for a perfect song part 3
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Jared goes into town the next day. Jensen told him to get more supplies just in case he wants to bake more. When Jared tries to protest, Jensen pushes him out of the door. Jared knows Jensen well enough not to argue with him. So he had borrows Jensen’s car and calls Katy to see if she wants to meet up.
“So,” Katy says the moment Jared sits down across from her, “Jensen finally let you out of his bed?”
Jared makes a face at her. She knows that that isn’t all he was doing at Jensen’s; most of the time he and Jensen do their own thing. Jared enjoys his time away from his family to think about what he wants. He always did what his father told him to do, thinking it was what made him happy. He went to business school because his father wanted it, and afterwards he went to work for Padalecki Industries. It was expected from him, but it hadn't made him happy.
“Yeah it was hard though, but I got away. You want a cupcake?” he asks getting two out of his bag.
Katy’s eyes go big as she takes a bite from her cupcake. They are delicious if he does say so himself, he and Jensen ate themselves nauseous on them.
“These are really good Jay. Where did you learn to make them?”
Jared shrugs, “My father’s chef. I didn’t have many friends when I was growing up and the man took me under his wing.”
Katy nods as she eats the rest of her cupcake.
“So, do you like living with Jensen?”
“I’m not living with him. I’m just staying with him for a while. It’s nice though, and I don’t mean just the sex. He does his own thing and I do mine. And when one of us wants company we go find the other.”
Katy looks at Jared for a long time before opening her mouth, but before she can say anything she is interrupted by the waitress. The waitress takes their order; Jared and Katy both take a caramel latte and a piece of apple pie; then she quickly leaves.
“But the sex is good right?” Katy asks as soon as the waitress is out of earshot.
Jared doesn’t comment. It’s not like they’ve been going at it like bunnies. Hell they had sex that one time and Jensen hasn’t made a move since. He asked Jared to stay with him, to have some fun, but maybe Jared understood it wrong.
“It was nice that one time.” he says.
“How are you not tapping that?” Katy asks surprised.
Truth was, Jared was afraid. He liked having sex with Jensen, but he had drunk a couple bottles of wine and his inhibitions were gone. Now they spent all this time together, and while Jared was attracted to Jensen he is afraid to make a move.
“We’ve been doing our own thing. I’ve been baking,” Jared says nodding towards the empty cupcake wrapper on the table.
Katy grins, “And I’m happy if you’re happy.”
They finish their drinks and go off to shop. Katy stops him in front of a men’s clothing’s store. When Jared asks why they are stopping here, Katy just gives him a look.
“You’ve only got suits with you right?”
Jared nods thinking about the dilemma he had when Jensen brought home his suitcases. They had both stared at the contents for a while. Jared had brought six suits, one pair of sweat pants and two t-shirts. Maybe Katy has a point suggesting they go into the store.
Katy pushes him into a fitting room the moment they are inside, throwing clothes in every now and then. She even has the sales lady in on it. By the time he is allowed to put on his own clothes he has tried on more pants and button downs than he can count.
Jared grins happily as he leaves the store. Katy could shop like no one’s business and Jared is happy with everything he bought. The sales girl even gives them a discount because she had so much fun dressing him.
Katy comes up with a way to get back into Jensen’s pants. Not that Jared is going to use it but it was nice to fantasize.
“I’m tired, can’t shop anymore.” Jared says sitting down on a nearby bench.
Katy sits down next to him pouting, “But we still have to buy shoes.”
***
Jensen is in his studio working on his music. He had a recording system installed when he moved here, though he has never really used it. Now that he's started performing again, he feels his love for music come alive again. Over the past week Jensen has been hit with inspiration for new lyrics or music. Problem is he's had some trouble starting up; he has never done this alone. He and Chris were like Siamese twins, always in the studio together. So that was why it took three tries before Jensen could turn on the system without freaking out and needing to get out of the house. When he finally manages to get it all on, he just sat down played his music and poured his heart out.
He is listening to what he had recorded when Jared comes back home.
“Jensen?” Jared asks while he looks into the studio.
Startled, Jensen takes off his headphones. Jared scowls at him before smiling.
“I rang the doorbell Jensen, didn’t you hear it?” Jared asks, “Thank God you never lock your backdoor or else I would have been standing out there for God knows how long.”
Jensen nods, putting away his headphones. He presses save for the music file he just created and then turns his attention to Jared.
“Did you have a nice day?” Jensen asks standing up and leading Jared out of the door.
He stops when he sees all the bags in the living room. It looks like Jared bought out the whole town.
“I didn’t know where to put them,” Jared says walking around the couch towards the bags, “I bought some new clothes. Katy made me buy most of it.”
Jensen smiles. He knows Katy, she is the tiny blonde that nearly pummeled him when he came back to the hotel after Jared quit. She knew everything that had happened and blamed Jensen. Her mood changed quickly after she learned Jared was staying with Jensen for the time being. Jensen likes that Jared has at least one friend in this town he can talk to. Jensen doesn’t really know or even understand how the two of them became friends. Katy doesn’t seem like the type Jared would hang out with, but the two complement each other.
“Just put them in the bedroom. I think there is still some space in the closet,” Jensen says smiling at Jared softly.
Jared starts moving to take the bags to the bedroom but Jensen stops him, “We can do it before we go to bed tonight. Let’s just relax for a little bit, okay?”
Jared nods before flopping down on the couch. Jared looks tired so Jensen walks to the kitchen to get them something to drink. He picks up the take out folders he keeps near the fridge. Normally Jensen doesn't like eating take out more than once a week, but he is more than happy to make an exception. When he returns to the living room he sees Jared sitting on the couch, remote in hand. The sight makes Jensen smile. Who knew he would enjoy living with someone again so much, even if it was just temporary?
They sit together watching TV after eating the take out that Jensen ordered. Normally Jensen would go outside for a bit or Jared would spend time going over some papers, but sitting like this together is nice. Jensen is enjoying Jared’s quiet company. With Jared he never felt the need to fill the silence and it had been a long time since Jensen felt like that.
When they go to bed they walk up the stairs together. Although they haven’t touched each other since that first time, it feels natural for Jensen to just kiss Jared then push him down on the bed.
Jared moans when Jensen settles on top of him, pulling him closer as Jensen smiles into the kiss. Clearly Jared wants this as much as Jensen does. Jensen doesn’t know why they waited. He slowly starts undressing Jared as Jared is trying his best to do the same to him.
“Want you so much. You look so hot all the time,” Jensen whispers as he tosses Jared’s shirt behind him. He then sits back just to take the time to admire Jared’s body.
Jared groans when Jensen pulls down his pants, mouthing his cock before it is even fully out of the confinement of his boxers. He sucks it down as soon as the piece of clothing is out of the way. He loves the way Jared tastes, the sexy sounds the other man is making and the knowledge that he is the one giving Jared pleasure. Jensen has never been a selfish lover. He loves this almost as much as Jared obviously does.
Jared’s hands find the back of his head holding him in place. Jensen just closes his eyes while he breathes through his nose going down as far as he can without gagging. Jared curses, bucking his hips. Jensen pulls off Jared’s cock with a pop and Jared groans watching as Jensen pushes his legs up, moving between them. Jensen softly strokes down Jared’s thigh moving towards his ass, his fingers stroking over his hole.
“Jensen,” Jared moans trying to push down on Jensen’s finger.
“Want it that bad huh? Knew you would be a wildfire, so hot. I’m gonna take you slow Jared, going to make you get loud,” Jensen says slowly pushing his finger inside Jared.
Jensen bends down to press a kiss against Jared’s thigh before moving down. Jared freezes as Jensen kisses his way slowly towards his hole. Jensen hums trying to soothe Jared as he licks around his finger, tongue dipping inside Jared alongside his finger. Jensen loves doing this, giving someone this much pleasure. He rarely indulged in this because he never spends more than one night with someone. Somehow Jared is different and Jensen doesn't want to think about it too much.
Jared slowly relaxes, starts moaning when Jensen finds his prostate.
“Please,” Jared begs.
When Jensen moves away from him Jared whines, reaching an arm out to stop him. Jensen just soothingly strokes his thigh.
“Lube,” Jensen whispers getting it from the table next to his bed before moving back between Jared’s legs.
Jensen gives himself a brief moment to just enjoy looking down at Jared. The rash that had been there before is almost gone now showing off only nice brown glow. It makes Jared even more beautiful than he had been that first night. Jared squirmes under Jensen’s gaze, a red blush spreading from his cheeks down to his chest.
“Jesus, Jen,” Jared groans, “Please touch me.”
Jensen smiles spreading the lube across his fingers, bending down again only to be stopped by Jared, “Isn’t that, dirty?” Jared asks scrunching up his nose.
Jensen looks at him smiling softly, “No, you shower don’t you? And you do like it, right?” he asks and when Jared nods he adds, “I like how you feel, how I can make you desperate for my cock. I like your hole clenching down on my tongue, wanting to feel something bigger, more solid.”
Jared groans letting his head fall back against the bed.
Jensen has two fingers inside of Jared and is working in the third slowly while licking around his finger, when Jared’s hips start moving of their own accord. He is making these tiny, whimpering noises that are turning Jensen on more that he thought was possible.
“Yeah like that,” Jensen whispers “Make some noise for me.”
He licks deeper inside Jared’s body, fingers slipping out. He uses his hands to spread Jared’s ass cheeks, really working his tongue up into his ass. Jared feels himself tense with pleasure, keening loudly. Jensen smirks as he pulls out of Jared, fingers his ass one more time before crawling up his body, placing soft kisses along the way. When he’s standing above Jared his eyes are blown wide with lust and his lips are bruised red.
“Gonna fuck you now Jay, gonna give you what you need,” Jensen says, undressing himself quickly.
He lines his cock up with Jared’s hole and slowly pushes himself in. Jared is still so tight, Jensen groans staying completely still when he is fully seated inside. He needs some time to pull himself together or this will be over before it even started.
“God, you’re so tight, Jay, so hot,” Jensen groans as he starts moving slowly.
Jared gasps for air as Jensen hits the sweet spot inside of him, clawing at the other man’s back.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby let me hear how much you like it,” Jensen pants, aiming every thrust for that spot.
He moans loudly as he starts moving with Jensen’s thrusts, taking Jensen just as hard as the other man is taking him.
“Yeah Jay, come on. Show me how much you want this,” Jensen mutters the words into Jared’s neck, his thrusts getting harder and more erratic.
Jared bucks up, coming all over his own stomach at Jensen’s words.
“God, Jared!” Jensen comes inside of him panting, moving restlessly through his orgasm as Jared is coming down from his own.
Jensen pulls out slowly, rolling over to the side pulling Jared against him. He softly kisses Jared’s hair, sighing contentedly. That was awesome.
***
Jared wakes up groggy the next morning; he snuggles closer to the warm body next to him. He is still a bit sore from the night before. He lays awake for a while thinking about last night. Everything between them had felt so natural, even the sex. Jared has never felt that way, but now the day after he is starting to feel uncomfortable. He slowly gets out of bed, careful not to wake Jensen, and walks towards the kitchen.
He needs to bake something, clear his head and think about what happened last night. It was what he always imagined a perfect relationship would be like. Enjoying their evenings together; roll in bed to have hot steaming sex and then fall asleep in each other’s arms. Only he shouldn’t start fooling himself. Jensen isn’t the type of men who’d settle down.
Jared has gotten to know him pretty well and Jensen doesn’t do commitment. Hell he even refused to sign a contract for longer than six months at the hotel. Jared thinks it has something to do with Jensen’s old band mates. Jared doesn’t know what happened yet, he doesn’t want to pry. Jensen lets him be when it comes to his own insecurities, so Jared figures he deserves the same treatment from him.
Jared is busy making croissants with chocolate when Jensen walks into the kitchen.
“Morning,” he grunts as he slides onto the chair.
Jared gives him a cup of coffee then turns back to the oven.
“What are you doing?” Jensen asks.
Jared slides the oven shut and turns towards him, “I’m making croissants. If you don’t like that I could always make you something else.”
Jensen grins taking another sip of his coffee.
“Anyways I thought I could maybe cook some eggs then set the table,” Jared continues when Jensen doesn’t answer.
He is standing in front of the fridge getting out the eggs when Jensen slides up behind him, “You know you don’t have to do that,” he says.
Jared shivers as he feels Jensen’s breath on his neck as the other man talks. He turns around slowly, coming nose to nose with Jensen.
“I want to,” he says, “I love cooking.”
Jensen grins before pulling Jared closer for a kiss. Jared kisses back for a moment, pulling away before it can get heated.
“Good, cause I love eating what you cook,” Jensen says.
Jared smiles to himself as he puts the eggs in a pan with water, turning up the gas. Jensen helps him set the table as they both enjoy another cup of coffee before their breakfast is ready.
Jensen lets out a small moan when he takes a bite from the croissant, “God, this is good.”
Jared proudly smiles at him. Chad never liked it when he did stuff like this. Chad had found it too domestic which it didn’t fit with the modern couple that they were. They made enough money; he and Chad could eat out every meal if they wanted. Which is what Chad had wanted that; so Jared never baked at home, but he missed it every day.
“So did you have plans for today?” Jared asks already thinking that he is going to sit outside and read a book.
It's a hot day outside and the sun is shining so maybe he could get some rays.
Jensen looks up surprised, “Oh fuck I forgot to tell you! My sister is coming over for dinner.”
Jared can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. It was just what he needs, a reason to make a big dinner. He is already thinking about what he is going to make for an appetizer when Jensen interrupts his thoughts.
“My sister always insist on coming once a week, to makes sure I’m eating enough. She’s probably bringing something,” he says.
Jared’s face falls, “Wait what?”
“I could tell her not to bring anything, if that makes you feel better? I’ll call her before going to the record company,” Jensen says grinning.
Jared leans back thinking about what he should cook and what ingredients he needs. Maybe he can ask Jensen if he can borrow his car and drive to town. Jensen’s moan filters through his thoughts and he focuses on the man to see him eat another one of the croissants Jared just made.
“You don’t even moan like that when we have sex,” Jared says grinning.
Jensen grins at him, “These are fantastic.”
Jared knows; he had almost the same reaction when he tasted them for the first time. It took him almost a month to discover what made them so delicious and then another month perfecting the recipe.
“So what were you thinking about?” Jensen asks picking up another croissant.
“That I need some stuff for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward making an awesome dinner for you and your sister.”
Jensen hums and nods, “Let me grab a shower, and then we’ll go.”
***
Jensen grins as he watches Jared move around in the kitchen. They had a great day together. After breakfast they went into town. They picked up the things Jared would need for dinner and then they had lunch at the hotel. They met up with Misha who practically begged Jared to come back. Jared said he needed to talk to his father before he decided to come back, but had also added that Misha seemed to be doing a good job by himself. Jensen had to agree with that.
Later in the afternoon Katy joined them and they all talked until late in the afternoon. Jared had rushed into the kitchen as soon as they got home and Jensen decided to leave him for a bit. He wanted to start working on his music, writing down the tune that was in his head the whole day. Once he had the melody down he realized that he was now bored.
“Hey, how are things going here?” Jensen asks.
Jared looks up with a happy look on his face, “Good, what time is your sister getting here?”
Jensen steps up behind Jared, “Usually she shows up around seven, so in about half an hour.”
“Good, I’ll be done in forty minutes,” Jared says nodding before continuing to rummage around in the kitchen.
Jensen thinks his sister will be happy to see his house guest. He hasn’t told Mackenzie about Jared yet. Jensen thinks he might have a hard time explaining what is going on between him and Jared. Neither of them wanted anything serious. Jared isn’t in the right mind for it right now and Jensen isn’t the type to start a relationship. Jensen thinks about it as he starts setting the table.
Jensen is opening a bottle of wine to let it breathe when the doorbell rings.
“She is just in time,” Jared says as Jensen walks to open the door.
Mackenzie hugs him tightly before walking past him towards the kitchen.
“Why did you tell me not to bring anything? Did you finally learn how to cook? Anyway it smells delicious. How was your week? I know….,” she stops talking as she enters the kitchen.
Jensen stands next to her watching Jared bend to get something out of the oven. Jared smiles at both of them as he spots them standing in the door. He puts the lasagna down on the table before turning towards Mackenzie.
“Hey. Hi, I don’t know if you remember me, but we’ve met before. I’m Jared,” he says in one breath holding out his hand.
Mackenzie starts laughing as she’s shaking Jared’s hand, “I remember. I never thought you would be having dinner at Jensen’s house though, especially not after what he pulled.”
Jensen watches them move towards the kitchen table, smirking to himself.
“Well yeah, but turns out he was right,” Jared says smiling softly as he sits down, “I did need to have more fun. So that’s what I’ve been doing.”
Mackenzie looks confusedly from Jensen to Jared. Jensen can see the moment she connects the dots.
“Wait, you two are having fun together,” she says making air quotes.
Jensen smirks and Jared blushes. Mackenzie opens her mouth to probably lecture Jensen. He shushes her, tells her not to meddle in this and eat her dinner. Luckily for him, she does.
Jared’s lasagna is delicious and they eat while having small talk. Jensen finds himself enjoying this dinner more than the ones he has had with his sister before. They talk about the hotel and what Jared is planning for when he leaves Canyon Creek. When dinner is done, they gather their plates and begin to clean up.
“So how about you go to the living room and rest a bit while I make coffee. I’ll bring it out with the delicious cake Jared made this afternoon,” Jensen says.
His sister will kill him if he lets Jared do all the work, even if Jensen suspects that the other man wouldn’t mind it so much. Mackenzie drags Jared to the living room telling him that he has done enough when he tries to object. Jensen starts cleaning off the table, humming softly to himself.
***
Jared sits with Mackenzie as the girl talks endlessly. In the beginning he feels a bit uncomfortable but as she continues on Jared begins to feel himself relax.
“You know,” Mackenzie starts, for the first time that evening looking serious, “Jensen has a hard time opening up to people.”
Jared just looks at her, wondering where Mackenzie is going with this. Jared knows Jensen is wary of strangers. He knows that Jensen doesn’t like commitment. And if she’s here to tell Jared that he shouldn’t expect too much from Jensen, she needn't bother. Jared knows this already, the same is true for him. Jensen is his rebound.
“After the plane crash, he was broken,” Mackenzie continues.
Jared looks at her in surprise, “Plane crash?”
“You didn’t know? It was all over the news back then,” Mackenzie says raising both eyebrows when Jared shakes his head.
“I know Jensen doesn’t like to talk about it but I thought for sure you knew. Anyway he and his…,” Mackenzie starts explaining but stops abruptly when Jensen comes walking in.
Jared can’t help but feel guilty for talking behind Jensen’s back, even if he wasn’t the one who started it. Jensen doesn’t seem to have noticed the awkward tension when he sets down two cups of coffee and two slices of cake before going back to get his own.
Mackenzie is just about to open her mouth but Jensen returns quickly, so Jared doesn’t get a chance to hear what she was going to say.
“So what do you think? Want to pop in a movie Mac? Would you like to hang out some more?”
Mackenzie makes a face, “I have to work tomorrow, so I can’t make it too late.”
“Aww come on Kenz,” Jensen says slapping his sister on the thigh, “You deserve to have some fun.”
Jared watches as Mackenzie’s eyes widen, “Oh like Jared’s need to have fun, huh?”
Jensen makes a face saying, “Ew Mackenzie,” as Jared bursts out laughing.
They end up watching one movie before Mackenzie has to leave. Jared is half asleep on the couch by that time. Jensen wakes him up with a smile.
“Hey Jay, let’s go to bed huh?” Jensen says helping him up.
Jared smiles softly as they both fall into bed.
***
Jensen is surprised at how much he enjoyed hanging out with his sister and Jared. He was afraid Mackenzie would make things weird, but everything seemed to be alright. There had been one moment after dinner when he had left Mackenzie and Jared alone. Then again he should have known better than to leave his sister alone with Jared. The girl was too excited to find the other man living with him.
Mackenzie isn’t the only one who needed to work the next day.
Jensen has to perform at the hotel tonight and he left early that morning because he wants to do some things in town.
It’s almost two in the morning when he returns home. He looks around the house hoping that Jared might still be awake but is disappointed when the other man isn’t. Jensen is softly mumbling to himself as he walks into the bedroom. There he spots Jared sitting on the bed, reading a book and Jensen lets out a relieved sigh.
“Hi.”
Jared looks up at him with a smile on his face, “How was the show tonight?”
Jensen takes off his shirt sitting down on the bed, moving to kiss Jared pulling him into a deep kiss.
“It was good,” he murmurs against Jared’s lips.
Jared hums in response, lays back pulling Jensen on top of him, “That kind of day huh?” he whispers as Jensen pushes down against him.
Jensen loves performing and the great thing about having Jared living with him is coming home to someone after. He is still wound tight from performing, still feeling the adrenaline from a good night. While usually it leaves him restless, he can now just crawl into bed with Jared and work off the excess energy.
“Jensen,” Jared moans as Jensen works his way down Jared’s body.
Jensen grins, sucking on Jared’s neck while trying to undo his pants at the same time. It’s hard to do but he’s got skills.
Jensen moves back up when he’s done, kissing Jared again “Wanna fuck you.”
Jared shivers moaning against Jensen lips. Jensen shifts so that he is completely on top of the other man, hard cock against his thigh.
“Want it?” he asks.
Jared nods frantically bucking up against Jensen, “Want you, so bad.”
“Gonna fuck you Jay, Gonna make it so good that you’ll be begging for more,” Jensen pants against Jared’s lips.
Jensen pulls back, flipping Jared on his belly, pulling his boxers off and his ass up. Jared keens low in his throat when Jensen spreads his ass cheeks.
“Love your ass Jay,” Jensen says caressing his hole with his finger.
Jared moans and pushes back against him. Jensen smiles leaning closer, breathing in Jared’s scent. He spreads Jared’s cheeks to further expose his hole. He leans down kissing the pink flesh.
“So eager for it,” he says when Jared pushes back against his face.
He loves how Jared wants this. He moves back from Jared a bit, stroking his back when the other man whimpers at the lost contact.
“Yeah, show me how much you want it, open yourself up for me.”
Jensen watches as Jared moves to get the lube lying back down on his back. He takes in a sharp breath almost moaning with Jared as the other man lifts his knees and pushes a finger in. He watches Jared’s beautiful body contract and shiver in pleasure as he works himself up to a second finger.
“God Jay, what you do to me,” Jensen says taking off his own boxers and stroking his cock.
Jared moans, shifting so that he can add a third finger. Jensen can’t stop himself any longer stopping Jared’s movements with a hand on his thigh.
“Jensen, please,” Jared begs when their eyes meet.
Jensen bends down to lick the rim of Jared’s hole. He starts licking around the rim, catching Jared’s fingers with each movement.
“Spread your fingers Jay,” Jensen breathes against Jared’s skin.
As soon as Jared does what he asks, he licks his way into Jared’s hole, in between his fingers. Moaning softly when Jared pushes against him, silently begging for more.
“Jen,” Jared begs, “I need you please.”
“Yeah Jay, gonna fuck you now, want to feel that tight ass around me,” Jensen whispers in his ear as he slowly pushes his cock inside.
Jensen growls as he slides home, staying still as he waits for Jared to adjust.
“I’m good, need you to move please.”
And Jensen does. He fucks him in short hard strokes while his hand finds Jared’s cock.
“Yeah that’s it, god your ass feels so good around me” Jensen moans “Can’t last long, not like this Jay.”
No matter how often they do this, Jensen is always surprised how tight Jared is. Knows he won’t last long and he doesn’t want to. Jared is squirming on his cock, making these high pitched moans every time Jensen slides home. Taking Jared’s cock he begins pulling it in time with his thrusts.
“Come on Jay, wanna feel you come around me, the way you squeeze my cock” Jensen moans as he bites Jared’s neck.
Jared wraps his legs around Jensen, pulling him in closer “Yeah” he moans as he comes all over Jensen’s hand.
Jensen feeling his own balls tighten as he thrusts in harder and faster before coming hard and long inside of Jared.
“God! So fucking hot,” Jensen breathes, letting himself fall down on top of Jared.
Jared lets him lay there for a while before groaning, “Come on Jensen, you’re heavy.”
Jensen sighs happily rolling onto his back, “Just what I needed.”
Jared hits him with a pillow muttering dork under his breath. When they both regain their breath Jared shifts so that he is facing Jensen.
“Jen.”
Jensen turns towards the other man with a sigh, “What?”
When he sees the look on Jared’s face he knows he’s in for a serious conversation. Great.
“Your sister said something,” Jared says looking nervous, “about a plane crash.”
Jensen closes his eyes; that was the last thing he wanted to be reminded of.
“I just,” Jared starts, “I just want to know about it. I knew I could probably find it if I Googled it, but I wanted to hear your side.”
Jensen moves away from Jared, getting out of bed. He doesn’t want Jared to feel rejected, especially after what they just did, but he can’t tell this story while lying in bed with Jared.
“Jen, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Jensen stays silent, thinking back to that day. He remembers the airplane shaking and the flight attendants running around in fear. His throat was closing up in fear as Christian took his hand and told him that at least they were going together. Christian died holding Jensen’s hand, and Jensen had lived. Sure he had years of physical therapy but he lived. That was more than he could say about his four band mates. He couldn’t even go to Christian’s funeral because he was bound to his hospital bed.
How could he tell Jared this? How could he try and explain how hard it had been for him? How guilty he had felt about surviving. It had taken three psychiatrists before he was mostly over what had happened.
Hell, it took his sister’s pushing and pulling before he was willing to perform again.
Jensen shakes his head; he doesn’t want Jared to see him like this. God, this had started out as such a great night, he thinks before walking out of the room.
***
Jared waits for Jensen to come back to bed, deciding he should let the man calm down a bit. He should have listened to Mackenzie when she had said it was a bad idea to discuss it with Jensen. It is obviously still a sore subject.
When Jared wakes up three hours later he realizes that Jensen still hasn’t come to bed. Jared goes down stairs looking for the other man.
He finds Jensen outside, sitting on his chopping block, violin in hand as he plays a sad slow melody. Jared stands there mesmerized. He has seen and heard Jensen play guitar before and the other man looked hot doing that. Playing the violin gave him a kind of melancholy that made him beautiful.
As if he senses that he is being watched, Jensen stops playing. He turns to look at Jared and Jared is struck by the grief on the other man’s face.
“I lost my best friends in that crash,” Jensen says turning back to look out into the forest, “My band mates, my brothers.”
Not wanting to spook Jensen, Jared doesn’t say anything. He hasn’t known him for very long, but he knows that Jensen doesn’t open up easily. Sure, sometimes he seems easy to read, but Jared can tell there’s more to him than meets the eye. This here is a part of Jensen that he hasn’t seen yet. Jared is willing to bet that very few people really have.
“We flew all over the world. I’ve flown more hours in a month than most people do in their lives. Haven’t been able to set foot on a plane ever since. The first week after,” Jensen cuts himself off, Jared suspects to swallow down the tears. “I was a mess, but my sister sat me down and said they wouldn’t have wanted that for me. So in honor of their memory I picked up my life again, just better I guess. Jensen 2.0 so to speak. Stopped drinking, stopped performing and settled down. I still write for other bands, as you know.”
Jared walks forward stopping just behind Jensen, “Jensen.”
He doesn’t know what to say. To live through something like that, Jared can’t begin to imagine what it would be like. His heartbreak over Chad or even the fight with his father seem petty right now. He understands Jensen’s ‘Life is about having fun’ attitude now.
Jensen doesn’t turn to face him; he just lifts the violin and begins to play again.
Jared stays outside listening to the sad music until the sun comes up.
***
Jensen expects Jared to maybe bring it up again; to try and fix him like everyone else. But Jared just goes on like Jensen never told him. Not that Jensen thought Jared needs to fix him. Jensen is fine just the way he is. He is just surprised that Jared seems to agree.
“So you’ve been living the domestic life?” his sister asks when he meets her for lunch a week later.
“Nothing like that Mac,” he says taking a bite of his burger.
Jensen knew something was up when his sister had asked him out for lunch. The first clue was that he hasn't been allowed back into her office since that thing with Jared. But mainly, she had been quiet for far too long, which just proved that he was right. She wants to know all about Jared and their situation.
“You live together, you talk and you fuck. That’s domestic if you ask me.”
Jensen made a face, “You know me Mac. I’m not the kind of guy who commits. We’re having fun together and I don’t want to complicate things by putting a label on it.”
Mac sighs like she wants to argue but Jensen shut her up with one look. She should know better by now.
“Misha want me to sing more duets. Maybe you can sing with me. You know the Ackles’ joining forces. Together we’re unstoppable” Jensen says changing the subject.
He laughs when Mackenzie makes a face. There was a reason she is a doctor instead of becoming an artist like her parents and big brother. Mackenzie hates being the center of attention, was always happier when he brother stole the spotlight away from her.
“Okay, maybe not sing, but you have to come. Just so it won’t feel too much like work for me. I mean I like Misha and everything, but I don’t think I’m ready yet,” Jensen says making a face.
Mackenzie nods, “Just tell him that. He’s a good guy, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
“Yeah, I still hate talking about it, you know? I talked to Jared the other night and it was hard.”
“Well good, Jared deserved to know.”
Mackenzie smiles as she finishes her salad. Jensen can't shake the feeling that she is up to something. Unfortunately, he knows his sister too well to try and stop it.
***
Jared can't remember the last time he felt as relaxed as he does now. Sure he has gone on vacation, but somehow he always ended up working anyway. Being angry with his father has been good for something. Jared knows he will eventually have to go back to work, but he has no idea what he wants to do. He does know that he wants to quit working at his father’s company. Jared decides that for today it doesn’t matter. He asked Jensen if it was okay to put one of the chairs outside. Jensen thought it was a great idea and he helped Jared to put two chairs outside. Jared is outside snoozing a bit in his boxer shorts and enjoying the sun when he hears a car pull up to the house.
Jensen hasn’t had many visitors in the time Jared has been here. Actually the only person who stopped by had been Mackenzie and Jared knows Jensen is lunching with her right now. He is about to get out of the chair and check it out when he hears a familiar voice.
“Jared?”
Jared freezes in place as Chad walks around the corner. He watches Chad walk up to the chair he is still sitting in. Chad looks the same as always; dressed in an expensive suit and not a hair out of place. Jared is so used to the men around this town that Chad looks weird to him. Sure, Chad is hot, but it is a styled kind of hot. Compared to Jensen, Chad is nothing. Jensen is an all-natural rough kind of hot. Just by looking at Chad like this, Jared wonders what he ever saw in him.
“Jared!?”Chad says again, this time shocked.
Jared leans back against the chair and puts his sunglasses on. Whatever Chad wants from him, Jared isn’t really interested. The other man is sure to tell Jared why he is here soon enough; Chad never did beat around the bush.
“What are you…” Chad looks down at him, “Jared you’re practically naked at a strange man’s house. Look, I know I fucked up, but maybe I needed a little indiscretion before I was ready to settle down.”
Jared shifts as Chad sits down on the chair beside him.
“Come on Jared. You’ve had your fun. Now it’s time to come home, baby.”
Jared scrunches up his nose at the pet name. How had he ever been so naïve to think Chad meant something when he used them? He probably used them to make sure he wouldn’t say the wrong name by accident. Jared pulls away when Chad tries to grab his arm. He remembers a time when he thought Chad’s confidence made him more attractive, now he just seems arrogant.
“You go home, I’m staying here.” Jared says crossing his arms in front of his chest, suddenly feeling too naked to have this conversation.
“How mature of you,” Chad says snidely. “Your father called me a few days ago, said he hadn’t heard from you in a while, that you didn’t work at the hotel anymore and the rumor was that you were living with this,” Chad makes a face, “country rock star.”
Great, his father knows he is living with Jensen. Jared guesses it is time to let his father know this is more than just a temper tantrum. Okay so maybe staying with Jensen is an act of rebellion, but Jared is done following his father’s lead on everything.
“It’s my life Chad and I can live it however I want,” Jared says, already getting tired of this conversation.
“That’s it! Jared you are coming home with me,” Chad says, this time succeeding in grabbing Jared’s arm.
“Is there a problem here?”
They both look up to see Jensen standing there looking like an urban cowboy. Jared wonders if Jensen was wearing that cowboy hat when he left the house or if Mackenzie bought it for him. It seems like the kind of thing Mackenzie would buy for him. He frowns as he sees that Jensen’s car is in the driveway right next to Chad’s. He never even heard him pull up.
“Yeah I’m here to take my boyfriend home,” Chad says with the arrogance of a man who has never had his ass kicked.
“Doesn’t seem like he’s ready to be taken home,” Jensen says. His posture seems casual but Jared knows better. “Jared?”
“Yeah no. It’s alright Jensen. I can handle this,” Jared responds.
Jensen walks up to him, kisses him softly and Jared knows it is just for show. Maybe Jensen wants Chad to know what he let go. Jared decides not to dwell on it too long as Jensen walks inside the house.
“Jared seriously, this guy isn’t what you want. He will never commit to you and only you. Jared I know you, you want stability and he can’t ever give you that.”
“Go away Chad, you don’t know what I want or what I need. You gave up any say you had in my life when you invited that mailroom guy into our shower!“
Chad stands up from the chair, straightening his suit; his piercing blue eyes focuse on Jared, “Fine but don’t come crying to me when it doesn’t work out,” he bristles before walking away.
Sighing as he gets up from his chair, Jared notices that the sun had gone down while he was talking to Chad and it really is too cold to just sit there in his underwear. Besides it is almost time to start dinner. When he walks back into the house he almost bumps into Jensen who is on his way outside.
“Hey,” Jensen says, holding his guitar away so it won't get smashed between them, “I was just on my way to join you. I heard a car leave so I figured…” Jensen trails off.
Jared nods, “Yeah, just he left. It was getting a bit chilly out there so I was going to put some clothes on and start dinner.”
Jensen nods, “We could start up the barbeque. I know we have some burgers in the fridge.”
Jared agrees with the idea. He doesn't really want to cook anyway. He is happy that Jensen doesn't seem to mind that Chad had been there, also that he isn't demanding to know what had happened.
“Yeah let me put on something and I’ll meet you outside,” he says before walking upstairs.
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