Recipe for a perfect song part 4
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“I think I should go back home,” Jared says that night after dinner.
Jensen looks up from the couch where he is laying. They had a great dinner and Jensen had been enjoying an after dinner snooze on the couch as Jared cleaned up. He is a bit drowsy at the moment and isn't quite awake.
“Huh?” he says stupidly before sitting up so that Jared can sit next to him.
“I think I should go to my father’s house.” Jared says considering it. “Maybe tell him to go fuck himself.”
Jensen frowns. He's been waiting for Jared to talk about what happened that afternoon with Chad showing up. He guesses this is a reaction to that. He figures it is best to stay silent and wait for Jared to spill the story.
“You know he sent Chad here? As if it were too much trouble to come himself,” Jared says sounding aggravated.
Jensen can understand Jared's irritation. If a guy ever hurt Jensen, his sister would be there to kick some serious ass, despite the fact that Jensen is man enough to do it himself. The fact that Jared’s father didn’t even fire the guy, well, it said enough.
“I think I should confront him, no use in me hiding here much longer. He obviously knows where I am.”
Jensen nods again finding himself saying, “You want me to come with? For support”
Jared looks as surprised as Jensen is by the words but then he nods gratefully.
“If you don’t mind.”
Jensen normally doesn't like dealing with family troubles, he has enough of them with his own family, but he can tell Jared wants someone to support him. Jensen figures he is Jared’s closest friend right now.
“I mean I would ask Katy, but my father would probably fire her for supporting me.” Jared says shrugging.
Jensen nods, “Just call him; we’ll meet him for coffee or something.”
Jensen hadn't expected they would leave right away, but Jared’s father insists they stop by that evening. Jared puts his new clothes on as Jensen waits for him.
Jared’s father’s house is exactly what Jensen had been expecting. Big and flashy, he hates it at first sight. They walk up to big double doors which both open before Jared can ring the door bell.
Jared takes him to the office where Mr. Padalecki is waiting for them.
“Jared,” the older man says not getting up from his chair, “I wasn’t expecting you to bring company.”
Jared shrugs and Jensen can’t help but dislike the man immediately. Who doesn’t get up to greet his son, especially one he hasn’t seen in weeks?
“Yeah dad, this is Jensen Ackles,” Jared says sitting down on the chair across from his father’s desk.
“I know who he is,” the older Padalecki says then turns to Jensen. “Maybe you should wait outside.”
Jensen wants to object. He wants tell the old man that he is here for Jared and that he won't leave; but then Jared turns around telling him to go. Jensen storms out of the office, but he can’t find it in his heart to leave yet. He walks around the room and spots a large CD tower. He sees a couple of his bands’ and almost every CD of his dad’s. At least the guy has good taste in music.
He wanders around looking at random things for fifteen minutes when he decides he has had enough. If Jared wants to listen to his father and become his little minion, who is Jensen to try and stop him?
Fuck him and the high horse he rode in on.
Jensen storms out of the house and begins walking to his car. He can’t believe Jared is letting his father tell him what to do again. He really thought Jared was done with the man. He starts the car and is about to pull out of the driveway when the passenger’s door opens.
“Where are you going?” Jared asks as he steps into the car before it has stopped completely.
“Well you and your father seemed to be having fun. Thought you didn’t need me here anymore,” Jensen grunts speeding up; he can't wait to get home.
“Fun? I told him he was a dick and he tried to convince me to stay with the company, which I refused. Guess I’m out of a job right now,” Jared says grinning at Jensen.
He looks like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and Jensen guesses that maybe it has been.
***
Jared starts looking for things to do a week later. At first he takes the time to enjoy finally being free from his father, but after a while he begins to feel restless. Soon he finds himself constantly baking until Jensen tells him that as much as he loves everything that Jared bakes, they just don’t have enough room for it all.
He finally caves and asks Katy to get him a job as a waiter. Jared knows he needs to move out of Jensen’s house but the other man hasn’t brought it up yet. Jared figures he still has some time to look around to try figure out what he really wants.
He begins working at a café, going to Jensen’s gig every Friday. It’s kind of nice.
“Do you know how hot you look when you’re performing? “ Jared states one night when they get home, pushing Jensen back against the wall, kissing him hard.
“Nah,” Jensen says smiling, “But I guess you’re going to show me?”
Jared cups Jensen’s erection and looks him dead in the eye, “I want this,” he says.
Jared feels Jensen shiver at those words and smiles. He loves that he has this effect on Jensen. It's dirty and almost cheap how direct Jensen is about sex, but that makes it hotter. It makes Jared skin flush and his cock harder than it had ever been.
“You want it?” Jensen asks. “You can have it,” he says pushing Jared towards the bedroom.
Jensen pushes Jared on the bed and starts stripping him. When Jared is naked Jensen leans back and looks at him. Jared feels flushed and kind of exposed. Jensen’s eyes go dark and Jared doesn’t mind it that much if it turns Jensen on. Jensen pushes his legs apart; his big hands covering his thighs, thumbs caressing his ass cheeks. Jared feels the heat flare up inside him.
Jared closes his eyes as Jensen starts caressing his ass, enjoying how it feels. He keeps his eyes closed as Jensen pushes in one slick finger. He moans as Jensen starts making slow circles, massaging the rim of his hole. He groans pushing onto Jensen’s finger wanting more, wanting to feel full, wanting Jensen to fill him.
As Jensen works up to a second and third finger Jared slowly dissolves in a tiny puddle of want. Clutching at Jensen’s back, pulling him closer, trapping Jensen’s arm between the two of them when Jensen pushes against a spot inside him and making Jared see stars.
“More,” he moans bucking up against Jensen; his moans becoming louder as he feels Jensen’s erection against him.
Jared isn’t really aware of anything that is happening around him until Jensen’s fingers pull out of him. He opens his eyes and it takes a moment for them to focus. He watches Jensen take off his clothes. He swallows when he sees Jensen’s cock. It is big and Jared wants to taste it, he loves the taste of Jensen. He wants it almost as bad as he wants Jensen to fuck him.
“I’m gonna… you want…” Jensen rasps as he nudges his cockhead against Jared’s opening to get across his point.
Jared moans trying to push down on his cock when Jensen lays a hand on Jared’s stomach.
Jared can’t remember if he has ever been this turned on. He pushes down on Jensen’s cock again - this time it almost enters his body. He moans out loud at the feeling. He feels Jensen grabs his hips and begins to slowly push forward. Jared feels his body give way, it burns and it feels so damn good that Jared wants to cry.
“Breathe,” Jensen says holding perfectly still.
Jared opens his eyes again; he hadn’t even noticed that he had closed them. Jensen is looking down at him. Jared grabs Jensen’s shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss. After making out like that for a while Jensen starts moving slowly. Jared’s eyes fall closed again at the sensation of Jensen being inside of him.
“God Jared, you’re so hot,” Jensen grunts.
Jared's hands move down towards Jensen’s ass, pulling him in deeper. Jensen groans, speeding up his thrusts as Jared’s eyes roll back into his skull. He tenses up before coming all over himself. Jensen pushes in one more time, staying deep inside him and Jared feels him pulse as he comes. Jensen pulls out of him and collapses next to Jared. They both lay there, coming down from their orgasms.
“God, how do you have the energy to fuck, after the performance you just gave?” Jared says after he has regained his breath.
Jensen lets out a surprised laugh as he pulls Jared closer before falling asleep.
***
Jensen goes out to lunch with his sister again that week. He tells her about going to see Jared’s father and how proud he was now that Jared had finally grown a backbone. Jared is nowhere near the uptight businessman he had originally met. He is growing by leaps and bounds. It strangely felt like they both were. Jensen also told her he's thinking about recording another album. He never thought that was something he would want again, especially if he wouldn’t be able to so it with Chris.
Perhaps it's the changes in Jared that make Jensen realize he had been doing a lot of writing lately, even testing out the melodies of the songs. The more he recorded and listened, the more he started to realize he just couldn’t sell these songs to other artists.
“You really think you’re ready for that?” Mackenzie asks as she looks at him with interest.
Jensen isn't sure. He doesn’t know if he’s ready, he only knows that he wants people to hear his songs and that he doesn’t want anyone else to sing them. There is only one logical conclusion. Mackenzie laughs when he tells her this.
Jensen is relaxed when he comes home. He had a great afternoon with his sister and he is happy to be home again. He’s whistling a tune that has been in his head ever since he started driving home. He was already thinking up lyrics to go with it. Something about coming home to a place you love or something like it. Maybe even something about feeling loved.
He’s contemplating this when he opens the front door. He freezes when he hears Chris’ soft voice and Jared’s louder one repeating the lyrics a moment later off key. He stands still for a minute, listening to the song he hasn't let himself listen to since he left the hospital. A soft smile forms on his lips when he realizes that it doesn’t hurt as much to listen to as he'd thought it would. Sure, there was a soft pull at his heart; that would always be there when Jensen thought about Chris, Justin or Steve.
Also Jared cat wailing to the song, getting all the lyrics right, might have been the best thing he’s heard in a long time. Jared doesn’t seem to notice him when he walks into the living room, even though Jensen isn't even trying to be quiet. Jared is shaking his hips, twirling around the room while trying to read what looked like a CD case.
“I see you found my hidden stash,” Jensen says startling Jared.
Jared turns around; smiling sheepishly at him and Jensen can’t help but smile back. God he wishes he could come home to something like this every day. He wants to kiss Jared for making listening to his old recordings fun again.
Jared skips the CD until “Something Close to Love,” starts playing. It was one of the few songs Chris wrote and sang by himself. He had written it for Mackenzie and it was the sappiest love song Jensen had ever heard. Back then he had made fun of Chris but now he feels tears come to his eyes.
Jared walks towards Jensen wrapping his arms around him beginning a slow dance with no particular steps to it.
“Hey,” Jared says after they’ve been moving together for a while, “How is Mack?”
Jensen smiles as he kisses Jared briefly on the lips, “She’s good. Says ‘Hi’ by the way. Where did you find this CD?”
Jared looks guilty, “In the back of your closet. There was other stuff too. But I figured you didn’t want me looking at those. I thought the CD’s were safe. I wanted to hear what you sounded like back then. What you wrote. I’m sorry if it bothers you.”
“It’s alright” Jensen says pulling away from Jared before he’s pulling Jared towards the couch.
He looks at the stuff that is lying on the table. He recognizes the photo albums his sister had made. He pulls one on his lap opening it and gesturing for Jared to look.
***
Jared shifts uncomfortably. When he found the box in the back of Jensen’s closet he had known it was probably better if he left it alone. Curiosity had gotten the better of him but like he had told Jensen he had restricted himself to just look and listen to the CD’s. The rest seemed too personal.
Now Jensen is inviting him to look which makes him feel a bit nervous.
He looks down at the page Jensen has opened on his lap. There is a photo of four young boys sitting in something that looks like a garage box.
“That is Chris, Justin and Steve” Jensen says pointing at them one by one.
Jared stares at the picture. They all look so young and happy. The Jensen in the photograph looks so carefree. He gingerly touches the picture and wonders if Jensen is finally opening up to him.
Jensen flips through the album, sometimes just looking at the pictures and other times telling stories to go with them. Jared just stares and listens to Jensen’s voice heavy with melancholy.
“We were together everywhere we went. The one and only time me and Chris ever fought was when he told me he wanted to date Mackenzie,” Jensen says when they are looking at a picture of a younger Mackenzie and Chris smiling at the camera.
Jared doesn’t know what to say so he stays quiet and listens to Jensen. They work their way through every photo album together. The last one ends with news paper cutouts from the crash and three funeral invitations.
Jensen’s hands tremble when he touches each one and Jared notices wet spots appearing on the paper as Jensen’s tears fall.
“There are days something happens and I think; I can’t wait to tell Chris. Or wait until Chris hears this,” Jensen explains and Jared’s heart aches at how broken the man sounds.
It’s even worse when Jensen looks at him, wet green eyes glimmering with pain.
“Jensen,” Jared says not knowing what to say but willing to do anything to take that pain away.
“He would have like you Jared, they all would have,” Jensen says wiping at his eyes and taking a deep breath.
Jensen puts away the album and pulls Jared towards him to cuddle on the couch. They listen to the CD sitting together like that in silence. When the last song ends Jensen gets up from the couch and pulls Jared up with him.
“Let’s make dinner together,” he says kissing Jared deeply.
***
Jensen can’t believe how lucky he got. He was just driving around town looking around when he found it. He can't wait to show Jared, he's going to be so happy. It's a great idea.
“Where are we going?” Jared asks again as Jensen drives them to town.
Jensen doesn't want to tell the other man yet. He wants Jared to be surprised when he sees what Jensen has gotten him. He knows that Jared has been trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life, and Jensen had figured out what the man’s passion is pretty early in their friendship.
“Jensen, what is this?” Jared asks as Jensen pulls up to the empty building.
Jensen just smiles as he opens the building with the key he received when he finally gotten the okay from the bank.
“What do you think?” he asks Jared, gesturing towards the empty space that used to be a diner.
Jared doesn't answer him just looks around the room with a confused expression on his face. There are still chairs and tables everywhere and a counter in the back with a kitchen behind it.
“I think with a bit of remodeling you could make this into a bakery. The kind where people sit, eat and drink coffee. I know it doesn’t look like it now; with the dust and the windows nailed shut and everything, but this could be a great place.” Jensen says as Jared walks around.
Jensen feels proud of himself for doing this for Jared, for helping Jared making a life for himself. When Jared turns around his eyes are wet.
“Jensen,” he says and there is something like pity in his voice.
Jensen just stares as Jared picks up a chair from where it was upside down on a table and sets it down. He pushes Jensen to sit down on it then sits down on Jensen’s lap.
“Jensen, what do you want with this?”
Jensen looks at him confused, not really understanding where Jared is going with this and Jared sighs in frustration.
“What are we Jensen? “ Jared asks him, “What am I to you?”
Jensen starts feeling uncomfortable, shifting underneath Jared’s weight, “Do we need to put a label on it?” he asks.
“Yes Jensen. Yes I do.” Jared says standing up and walking across the store.
“We’re having fun, isn’t that enough?” Jensen asks wondering how a day that started out so good could turn bad so fast.
“What if it stops being fun?” Jared asks leaning on the table closest to Jensen, “What if you get bored Jensen? You don’t do commitment. I can’t…,” Jared sighs in frustration turning away from Jensen.
Jensen just sits there, speechless as he waits for Jared to figure out what he wants to say.
“I can’t do this Jensen. I can’t wait around for you to get bored of me. Jensen, you bought me a store. But what if you get bored of me Jen?”
“The store is yours even if this thing between us stops” Jensen rushes to assure Jared.
“That’s not what I meant,” Jared says. “I’m stopping this before I get comfortable with you. If you were to get bored with this Jensen, I couldn’t be here and see you every time you come into town.”
Jensen stands up in front of Jared; grabbing him like maybe if he holds on enough Jared won't leave, he’ll change his mind and stay with Jensen.
“Jared,” he says looking deep into the other man's eyes.
Jared seems sad but determined. He kisses Jensen before walking out of the store.
***
The ride home is quiet and uncomfortable. Jared wonders if Jensen even knows what just happened. Jared hadn’t realized his feelings for Jensen until the man bought him a freaking store! Jared would have loved to say yes, he wants to stay more than words can express. Jensen doesn’t want to commit; he isn't ready. That would’ve been fine with Jared, until Jensen bought him a freaking store and Jared realized that he loves the man.
He knows Jensen likes being with him, but he knows Jensen isn’t ready to commit. He isn't sure if Jensen will ever be ready for a serious relationship. The other man doesn't talk much but Jared has learned to read between the lines. Jensen has been afraid to love ever since his friends died. While Jared completely understands that, he can't wait for Jensen to change. That is, if the other man ever changed.
Jared starts packing his bags as soon as they get home. Jensen just stares at him while he does. After a while he leaves. When he comes back Jensen has all the baking things in a bag.
“Here, take this with you.” Jensen whispers, “They’re yours.”
Jared nods. Unable to speak, he kisses Jensen one last time before leaving.
***
Jensen goes out to the back of his house to play some music as soon as Jared shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t notice the tears falling until they hit his guitar. He looks down at the instrument and feels the sudden need to smash it against something. An almost incontrollable rage makes him want to destroy everything in the house.
He can’t believe Jared left him. He can’t believe it hurts this much. He never expected to get attached to Jared. He thought he was just playing around with the other man, having fun. Jensen always stayed away from getting to serious. Still, without him noticing, it had become serious enough for him to be hurting now.
He sulks around the house for a week until his sister comes and gets his sorry ass off the couch. She gets angry with him when he tells her that Jared left. She pulls him into a hug when he tells her the whole story. As she’s leaving she tells him that if she doesn’t see him perform the next day she will come back and kill him.
He gets incredibly drunk that night; drinks away almost his whole liquor stash. He spends the night outside shouting and cursing at the trees. He even tries hitting a couple before slumping down drunk and falling asleep on the ground.
He regrets it the next day but it does make him feel a little bit better. He’s about to take a shower when he gets a text from his sister.
-You better be on your way to Canyon right now!-
Jensen grimaces but rushes to get ready and leave. He hopes he is in time for sound check.
***
“Jensen, you really should get out more,” Mackenzie says looking at her brother.
Jensen frowns at her. He liked staying at home. He liked the peace and quiet it brought him. Was that so strange? Sure it was a big change to how he he'd been before, but a lot had changed. He had toured the world with his band. He had experienced all the highs and lows life had to offer and now he just wanted to relax and enjoy a peaceful life. He had told Mackenzie this plenty of times.
“Jensen, you’re in your early thirties. You shouldn’t be acting like you have already lived your life.” his sister sighs.
“Look Mackenzie, you know better than anyone what I’ve been through. You’ve lost Christian just as much as I did,” he says walking away from the dinner table.
He doesn't understand why she has to bring this up again; why she has to open his barely healed wounds.
“Yes Jensen, I know. That’s why I haven’t said anything over the past year when you decided to live like a monk and really I thought Jared was a big turn around.”
Jensen grinds his teeth as he turns to look at his big stereo system in his living room. He hates that his sister is pushing him like this. After Jared left, Jensen felt aimless. At first he wondered what he had done wrong. Then he decided it didn’t matter; it was always meant to be temporary.
“You don’t understand Mac.”
Then she is there, strong hand on his shoulder forcing him to turn around. She is looking at him with thunder in her eyes.
“Don’t give me that Jensen. I lost my best friend and fiancé in that plane crash! So don’t tell me I don’t understand.”
Jensen deflates and feels the anger drain out of him. He knows well enough what Mackenzie had lost. He had held Chris’ hand as the plane went down. Heard his best friend ask him; order him, to take care of Mackenzie if he survived. He remembered being scared, then smoke and fire. He used to be tormented by these images almost every night.
Mackenzie takes his hands and guides him to the couch, “Look Jensen, I know how you feel; probably better than anyone ever could. But you can’t let Jared go just because you are afraid” she gives him a watery smile, “I know for a fact that Chris would kick your ass if he ever heard about this.”
Jensen can’t help but smile at that because he knows it’s true. Chris would have handed him his ass, even if it was just for making his sister cry.
“Mackenzie, Jared wants someone who is serious. This right here was just a vacation for him. I mean he left easily enough, didn’t he?”
Mackenzie hugs him close, “And you let him go just as easily.”
***
Jared sighs as he steps out of the taxi. His father has given him a chain of small hotels to manage. His father truly trusts him with these businesses. Jared hasn't caught his father checking up on him once. It seems like finally getting angry with his father has helped and his father finally sees him like an equal when it came to business.
Of course Jared never would have had the guts to do all that if he hadn’t met Jensen.
Jared never would have guessed the guy would have such a big influence on him. The first few weeks Jared had to stop himself from calling Jensen a couple of times. He didn’t want to be the one who cared the most in a relationship anymore. He had been that way with Chad and he didn’t want to end up like that again.
Being with Jensen had given him confidence which he was grateful for. It did hurt to leave but Jared didn’t want to stay around and just wait for it to possibly go bad. When Jensen couldn’t even tell him what they were to each other; that he didn’t even consider what they were doing a relationship, Jared knew he made the right decision. Even though he feels terrible right now, it would eventually pass.
“Hello Mr. Padalecki. Welcome to New York,” a smartly dressed man greets him as Jared walks into the big office building.
His father had gotten him an office in one of their New York buildings, suggesting that maybe Jared needed some time away from Texas to which Jared had to agree with. He needed to keep his eyes on the prize. A place in his father’s company, and then to eventually be able to take it over. He needed to stop dreaming about the little bakery back in Texas.
He still talked to Katy sometimes and more often to Misha since his father still owned the hotel. Misha was made manager after Jared had left. He called often to inform Jared on how his plan for the hotel was going.
“Mr. Padalecki, your father called again.” His secretary says as he walks past her.
“Okay,” he answers as he walks into his office.
His father has been calling him all week. Jared hasn’t returned any of the calls. He has just been too busy. Jared moves to the chair behind his desk. He starts working on his plans for the kitchens and the restaurants in the hotels. Maybe he should talk to the chefs about the breakfast. Maybe they could start making their own bread.
“Want me to call in lunch boss?”
Jared looks at the clock, surprised that it was that late already. He tells his secretary to go ahead and that he will eat in his office. He will call his father when he has the time.
***
Jensen is tired when he gets off stage. Lately performing has been taking its toll on him. He just wants to go home, take a nice long shower and go to bed. Of course that would be the moment that Misha comes running towards him. The man has been very busy ever since he got named manager of the hotel. Jensen hardly speaks to him on the Friday nights when he is performing. He gives his friend a big smile and his attention.
“Hey Jensen! How are you?” Misha asks when he is within ear shot.
“Good,” Jensen says and then waits.
Jensen knows Misha, knows that nervous look on his face means the other man has something to tell him. He waits for Misha to get to the point.
“Mr. Padalecki is here and he wants to see you,” Misha says looking behind him towards the grey haired man standing at the bar.
Jensen’s eyes narrow when he sees the man. He still hates the man for how he treated Jared, but the last thing he wants right now is a confrontation; besides Jared doesn't need Jensen to fight his battles for him.
“Tell him I don’t care and that he can call me in the morning,” Jensen says walking past Misha ready to go home.
The elder Padalecki steps in front of him at the same time as Misha puts a hand on his shoulder. Jensen glares at both men before sitting down on a bar stool. He guesses that Mr. Padalecki isn't going to let this go. The man studies him for a while and Jensen glares right back. Padalecki wants to talk to him, so let the man talk. Jensen will pretend to listen then go home and forget all about him.
“Mr. Ackles,” Mr. Padalecki says, “Jensen, please.”
That gets Jensen’s attention; Padalecki doesn't seem like a man who asks for favors. Yet he was nearly begging Jensen to listen to him. Jensen sits back and tries to tell the man with his body language that he has Jensen’s full attention.
“It’s Jared,” Padalecki says and Jensen sits up straighter.
His mind goes to whatever thing could be wrong with Jared. Was he sick? Maybe he was in the hospital and sent his father to get Jensen. Oh god what if he was dying and wanted to see Jensen one last time? Jensen was out of his seat before the old man could say anything else.
“Is he okay? Is he sick? Does he need my help?”
Mr. Padalecki shakes his head, “He’s not sick,” he says as he rushes to reassure him.
Jensen sits back down letting out a sigh, “Mr. Padalecki, please get to the point.”
“Call me Gerry, and I’m worried about Jared. When he came back from his little vacation with you he seemed fine. But lately….” Gerry trails off.
“You’re worried?” Jensen asks.
“Yes, he’s lost weight. His secretary says he’s hardly eating and he is miserable. I’m worried.”
Jensen feels his heart speed up at those words. Jared is miserable. More importantly, Jared is miserable without him. Jared’s father thinks that Jensen might be able to change that.
“He’s lost his passion somehow,” Gerry sighs, “I just want my son to be happy, and I think,” he stops again taking a deep breath like it pains him to say it, “that being here with you makes him happy.”
Jensen thinks about the past few weeks without Jared, and then about the time he had spent with Jared. Jensen was considerably happier with Jared. But what if Jared was right and he gets bored with the other man? Well he would just have to work on it not happening Jensen decides.
“Where is he?” he asks Gerry.
The man smiles at him, “I’ve already arranged for us to go to him.”
***
Jared watches snowflakes float through the sky from his office window. It looks beautiful and peaceful out there; unlike in his office where there is still so much work he needs to do. He is just reading through his business plan when his door opens.
“You can put the files on my desk, thank you” Jared says assuming it's his secretary and he thinks he should learn her name since he plans on staying here.
There is silence and Jared looks up from what he’s doing. His heart leaps in his chest when he sees Jensen standing there. His cowboy hat and jacket are covered in small white flecks of snow. They stare at each other in shock. The longer Jensen stares the more self-conscious Jared gets. He’s lost some weight, the healthy pounds he put on in his time with Jensen are all gone and then some. The last time he looked in the mirror he had lost his tan and he can’t remember the last time he washed his hair.
“Jensen,” he whispers and that seems to spur the other man to move.
Jensen is next to Jared, pulling him out of his chair and into a tight hug. Jensen has dark circles underneath his eyes and there is sadness in them Jared hasn’t seen since the first time Jensen told him about the plane crash.
“God Jared, come home,” Jensen says like that is everything that needs to be said.
Jared knows that Jensen is a man of few words. He doesn’t like to talk about feelings but he needs Jensen to tell him, to explain why he is here. Sure Jared could guess, but he doesn’t want to spend his life wondering.
“Why?” Jared asks.
“I missed you so much,” Jensen answers leaning against him breathing in deeply, almost like he is smelling Jared.
Jared closes his eyes against the whirl of emotions inside him. He’s been dreaming about this since he left. Jensen coming to get him and take him home. The issues that made him leave haven’t been resolved yet. Jensen is still unable to commit and Jared still isn't willing to wait around until the other man gets bored.
“What are we Jensen?” Jared asks the same question that made him leave, hoping that Jensen has an answer this time.
Jensen sighs as he sits down on Jared’s chair pulling the other man on top of his lap. He seems unwilling to stop touching Jared and Jared lets him, for now.
“Jared, I just sat on a plane for more than three hours, just because your dad said something was up with you.” Jensen says; his tone losing the cheer Jensen always has in his voice.
Jared can’t help the gasp that escapes him. He knows that a plane ride is Jensen’s version of Hell. He had been there when Jensen dreamt about it and heard the man moan in anguish. Jared looks into Jensen eyes to find them sad but determined.
“For fuck sakes Jared,” Jensen says frustrated; misinterpreting Jared’s silence, “This time without you had been hell. I love you. I want to grow old with you. I want marriage and kids if you want, the whole nine yards.”
Jared feels his whole face light up and he can’t help the smile that creeps across his face. Jensen loves him back. He kisses the man long, wet and loving. They stay in that chair making out for who knows how long until they hear a throat clear.
They both look up, Jared blushing and Jensen smirking, to see Jared’s secretary standing in the doorway.
“The files you asked for,” she says putting them on a filing cabinet near the door.
Jared turns his attention back to Jensen smiling, “So the whole nine yards huh?”
Jensen nods before his smile fades to a serious expression, “But we’re driving back home though.”
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